by Jamie Knight
After what felt like an eternity, time ceasing to have any real meaning anymore, Jacob came. He filled me up with his hot, sweet cum that entered me in a lovely flood that made me feel warm all over. I had read somewhere that cum was supposed to have some kind of natural anti-depressant effect. I could certainly believe it. Though, I suspected, at least partly, that the girls in the study just really liked cock. I knew that I, for one, was certainly becoming a fan.
Gently easing out of me, Jacob took me around my waist and turned me back onto my back, using more strength than I would have thought that he had. Then again, he had somehow carried me from the couch to the bed while I was dead asleep, so he clearly had hidden talents.
Spreading my legs wide, he wasted no time diving in between my thighs and devouring my pussy, slipping two fingers into my still stretched out asshole using his tongue and fingers in tandem to work me to a massive orgasm.
Stroking my belly as I came down, Jacob lay down next to me, kissing me on the cheek.
“I could get used to this,” I said, still breathless.
“I know what you mean,” he said, kissing me again, this time on the lips, gifting me with his tongue.
Chapter Eleven
Jacob
The bass thumped in my ears matching the beat of my heart. The speakers weren’t top of the line. They were just standard, stock models, though the car was old enough for the radio to have a separate dial for bass and treble. Really quite a plus for listening to my music.
I crooned along, somewhat less tuneful than the gifted singer.
I was doing my best to distract myself on my way to the law firm. For some reason, I was feeling nervous going back to the training at Howell and Howell, which in retrospect, seemed a bit odd. It shouldn’t have been a big deal, but suddenly, I had complications of the heart. I wanted to see Charlotte again, but I was also so confused about what happened between us. Our fake relationship was suddenly very real.
It would have been so much easier if it had just been about sex — which was honestly the best I had ever had. I had never been with a woman who was more willing or eager. Part of me didn’t want to give that up.
I didn’t want to admit it, even to myself, but I was falling in love with Charlotte. I knew we had only met recently, but I felt like I already knew her because of our previous correspondence. I think she felt the same about me, which was more of a complicating factor than a help. I thought back on her display at the apartment, wondering how much of it was for the benefit of the landlord. Was I ready for that kind of commitment?
Unbidden, my mind focused on what she had said about the size of the bathtub, and I couldn’t help imagining what that might be like. I had never actually fucked in a bathtub before and wondered what positions would be used. Charlotte had made it sound like it was not just something she had done before but something she actually enjoyed.
Pulling up into a semi-legal spot in a nearby store, one that said that it was customer parking only but had no time limit, and the customer proviso could be gotten around by going into the grocery store and leaving the bags on the passenger seat.
Sipping my cheep cup of coffee, I strolled across the street to the Howell and Howell building, glad the injury hadn’t been to my leg, considering the insanity of the majority of the drivers in the Los Angeles area being completely fucking insane. At least when on the road. Then again, I could just be bitter from the time I was nearly knocked over by a nun, who proceeded to say some very unflattering things in Latin.
Holding my breath going past the next-door café, I ducked into the relative safety of the elevator. I shut my eyes tight and waited for it to be over.
Charlotte was the farthest thing from my mind until I got into the classroom. She wasn’t dressed in a particularly sexy or in a fancy way, but she still looked like the most attractive woman in the world as far as I could see. It broke my heart to do it, but I walked by the row she was in and sat in the back row. Everything in me was screaming that I should sit with her, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it. I wanted to, but I wasn’t really sure if it was right. For her or for me.
The crux of my concern was that while I was falling in love with her and was fairly sure she felt the same way about me, I wasn’t sure that I was what was best for her. She had her own things that she was struggling with, and I wasn’t sure I would do anything more than to add to it. She was still so young and had her life ahead of her, and it seemed wrong to tie her down.
I did my best to pay attention to what Jim was saying during training and not the hurt look on Charlotte’s face that I could see from where I was. I was finally released from my purgatory when Jim announced the lunch break. As before, the rest of the class funneled into the café. I gave them the slip and headed for the door.
“Hey,” I spun around so fast I nearly fell over, seeing Ann Howell coming my way. I felt the strong urge to bow but wasn’t sure if that was proper protocol, so I restrained myself.
“Ma’am,” I said, nearly saluting.
“You can stop that. Just call me Ann, okay?”
“Okay, what’s up?”
“I was about to ask you the same thing. I’ve been anxious about you.”
“Why?” I asked, surprised by her show of concern.
“Well, for a start, I tried to call to see how it was going with Charlotte.”
“You know about Charlotte?”
“Of course, Hayley told me everything. At least as much as she knew,” Ann said with a wink.
“Oh.”
“I tried to call your hotel room, but all they would tell me was that you had a do not disturb sign on the door. I thought maybe you had gone back into a depressive state and got worried.”
“I’ve been packing,” I explained.
“Really?” she asked, sounding concerned.
“I’m not moving out into my car or anything,” I said.
“Oh, good.”
“I got the apartment that I wanted.”
“I thought the landlord didn’t want to rent to you,” Ann said.
“He changed his mind.”
“You didn’t use violence, did you?” Ann asked.
“Of course not.”
“Good, can’t be too careful.”
“No, I guess not,” I confessed.
“Used cunning and subterfuge, did you?” Ann asked with a wink.
“Kind of,” I said, a bit embarrassed.
“Do tell.”
I wouldn’t have, ordinarily, it all being somewhat embarrassing, but Ann was my boss after all. I felt a duty to do what she said.
“Well, I met Charlotte, like you know. Hayley introduced us and helped me get ready for our first date. Anyway, the way that came about was, Charlotte and I were talking during the lunch break on the first day, after having made a connection during the training. I told her about the problem with the apartment and said that I wondered if it might be different if I had someone to pretend to be my fiancée. I was really just thinking out loud, but Charlotte said she would do it. So, we went to dinner to plan things. Then one thing led to another, and we ended up back at my hotel.”
“Oh,” Ann said with a wink.
“Oh, no, nothing like that. We just made out a bit. I put her in the bed after she fell asleep, and I slept on the couch.”
“Oh, how gallant,” Ann said, sounding like she meant it.
“Anyway, we went to the meeting with the landlord, and Charlotte played the role of the loving future wife, even coming up with a date for the wedding on the spot. The landlord was duly impressed, and we signed the lease right then and there.”
“Can I meet her?” Ann asked.
“Um, okay,” I said, once again overcome with a sense of duty.
We spotted Charlotte in the café, sitting in the same spot that she had before. She was a creature of habit like I was.
“Hi, I’m Ann Howell,” she said, extending a hand to a sorrowful looking Charlotte.
“Oh, hello,” C
harlotte said, barely having time to wipe away her whipped cream mustache.
They shook hands, Charlotte looking well and truly impressed by Ann’s commanding presence. I was glad to know I wasn’t the only one who had this reaction.
“I can see why you were occupied,” Ann said with a sly wink.
“Thanks,” Charlotte said, blushing furiously.
“I hope your fake relationship can become real,” Ann said, before taking her leave.
She had a point. I really wanted Charlotte, to the point of knowing that I wanted to marry her and maybe even start a family. The doctors said I was fine in that respect, and even with my injury, there was no reason that they could see, why I couldn’t raise a kid. I just wasn’t sure she would really want a broken man like me. It might be better just to step aside and let her find someone better.
Chapter Twelve
Charlotte
I wasn’t quite sure what was going on. First, Jacob was fucking me like I was the only girl in the world, then he was snubbing me like I didn’t exist. Next, he was introducing me to the Queen Bee of the office like he was proud or something, like he was showing me off. Ms. Howell certainly seemed as though she had been impressed. Though I wasn’t sure by what. I mean, I looked okay but never really felt like I was anything special. Except when I was with Jacob.
I sat in the café with my double tall hot chocolate with whipped cream and white chocolate shavings, trying my best not to think about Jacob or what was going on. I wanted just some me time in my own head with nothing to stress me out. That was the thought anyway. Yeah, right. And then I thought I might as well morph into pure energy and manipulate the flow of time.
I let out a sigh of defeat, not even the color funny pages, or the music blasting on my earbuds could remove my sad disposition or lift the shroud of general ennui. It was like I had been brought back to life only to be buried again, without so much as a cellphone to contact the rest of humanity.
I didn’t know what Jacob was playing at, but I wasn’t giving him up without a fight. I had seen a good side to him and knew that he could love me the way I was coming to love him, despite our individual issues and handicaps. The way I figured it, we could only be better together. We could help each other.
The clock ticked by at a maddening pace. I watched it carefully, waiting for the appointed time, like a fidgety schoolgirl watching for the onset of summer vacation. Finally we were dismissed from training, and I made a beeline for the back row, penning Jacob into his corner before he had time to escape. Going by his expression, he really hadn’t been expecting this. I was glad I could surprise him.
“Do you need any help moving?” I asked, it being the first thing that occurred to me. It also had the advantage of being obviously true, given his condition.
“Um, yeah, that would be great thanks,” he said, not seeming to know what else to say.
That was all I needed to be able to try and show how much better his life would be with me in it.
I felt an absurdly strong urge to hold Jacob’s hand as we walked out of the Howell and Howell building to his car. I really wasn’t sure how he was feeling right then, so I resisted, seeing no reason to make things any more complicated than they already were.
Jacob’s hotel room could have definitely used help. All of his worldly positions were out of their various storage places and piled up on every available flat surface. This didn’t reflect as poorly on him as it might have. I still remembered well the hell that packing for a move could be. I think it was actually Dante’s tenth circle before the final edit.
With me doing most of the actual packing and Jacob moving, supervising, and directing, we had the whole thing done in no time. The monotony of the job was mitigated by the small number of items to be packed and the fact that Jacob kept glancing at my ass, even though he thought I didn’t notice.
I thought again about what he had done to me, particularly to my then virgin asshole, and my pussy got super wet. I wanted so much to just pull down his pants and suck him off. Just to get the feeling and taste of his cock in my mouth again. I could feel my mouth water just thinking about it.
His new apartment seemed even more beautiful than the first time I had seen it. The ocean sparkling blue just outside the window. The super-efficient kitchen standing ever at the ready.
“Just put that stuff in the bedroom,” Jacob said, closing the door behind me.
“Okay.”
I put the last load down on the bed, pausing, just for a moment, to imagine what it might be like for Jacob to fuck me in it. The headboard banging against the wall so loud it risked the neighbors complaining. It was ridiculous and far too early, but I wanted so much to live there with him, logic be damned.
I had done as well as I could on the first few loads to the apartment to hint at my desire to move in, but he would always undercut it with constructive suggestions as to how to change my own home to look more like his. He was overlooking the fact that I would never be able to get a view like that at my place no matter how hard I might try. All I could figure was that Jacob didn’t feel the same way I did, at least about the home, marriage, and family.
It could have just been my imagination, but I didn’t think so.
****
The commute down to the Howell and Howell office for my first day of work as a paralegal was nerve-racking. I was still somewhat surprised that I had not only passed training but landed one of the few rare positions at the original home office. I must have made quite an impression on at least one of the Howell siblings. It also turned out that I was assigned to none other than Ann Howell, the empress herself.
I did the very best I could, really not wanting to lose the job before I had time to properly start it. At lunch, weary but satisfied, I took the elevator down to the café to gorge myself with some of the best pastries I had ever tasted with a hot chocolate chaser. It may well have been an addiction, but in balance, it really wasn’t the worst I could think of. It added a few pounds to my figure, but that didn’t seem to bother Jacob much.
As I took another sip of warm, chocolaty goodness, I tried to push all thoughts of Jacob and his big cock out of my mind.
“You look deep in thought.”
“Do you have ninja powers?” I asked as Hayley sat down across from me.
“New sneakers,” Hayley explained.
“Ah.”
“Spill,” Hayley said.
She always knew when there was something wrong. There was no point in trying to lie to her.
“Remember when I was corresponding with the enlisted guy?”
“Of course.”
“It was Jacob.”
“No shit!”
“Not a speck,” I said.
She blinked at me. “So why do you look like you’ve just heard bad news? Shouldn’t this be something awesome.”
I shrugged and played with my cup some. “I thought now that we’ve found each other that we might… you know.”
“Live happily ever after?”
“Not exactly the words I would use, but that is the general idea, yeah,” I confessed, trying to keep tears from flowing.
“Is it possible that he is thinking the same thing?” Hayley asked.
“I suppose, but I don’t think so.”
She reached out and took my hand. “Well, there’s only one way to find out,” Hayley said.
My best friend was right, of course. She usually was, at least in matters of the heart and clothes. I really had no idea what Jacob was thinking. He could love me as much as I loved him and just wasn’t able to show it, or he didn’t know how to.
I had heard some pretty gnarly things about what trauma could do to your personality and figured that the PTSD on top of that wouldn’t help. He had told me a lot about what he had seen in combat, and I knew it affected him badly. It was more than possible that he had tried to shut down his emotions in order to cope.
I tried to talk to Jacob several times, both that day and the next and the one a
fter that. It was nearly the end of the week before I figured out it wasn’t going to work that way. Every time I tried to talk to him at all, my nerves would clench, and I wouldn’t be able to speak at all. I was close to giving up when I had an idea. I wasn’t exactly a chatterbox when we had first met either, but it had still somehow worked, with a little help from Hayley. It might work to do it that way again. I didn’t have Hayley’s help this time, but I did have the support of another old friend, writing. One that would also hopefully help the process go that much faster.
I was fidgeting on the bus all the way home, hardly able to constrain my excitement. If there was a possibility of me having a real relationship with Jacob, this was my last chance. Logging into the internet, I had to put in the password for my work email three times. My fingers were shaking so bad.
Finally, I got in and managed to type out a message that introduced myself to him as though our previous correspondence hadn’t happened, and we had just met at work. Reading it over again, correcting a typo here and there, I still wanted to try and put my best foot forward, I took a deep breath of courage and hit send.
He had gotten close to me once though letters, I was hoping that it would happen again.
Chapter Thirteen
Jacob
The tapping at my office door wasn’t aggressive. If anything, it was overly gentle. None the less, my reaction, a quick snap of the head, the old instincts kicking in, was enough to make Liam jump back a bit. I couldn’t blame him, really. There had been an instance during my darker days when I had broken his arm when he was trying to get my attention. Once bitten, twice shy as they say.
“What are you listening to?” he asked, by way of conversation.
“Mayhem,” I said, the mangled screams and crushing blast beats still audible, if a bit tinny, in my extracted earbud.
“Sounds like it,” my brother-in-law said in a half-hearted attempt at a joke.
“What’s up?” I asked, hitting pause on the MP3.
