The Wave
Page 24
‘Shells?’ For once, I have managed to surprise him.
‘I wanted to say … I don’t know … that I’m sorry how things have turned out?’
‘You should have come with me … it’s been a hell of a ride.’
‘I bet. Listen. You shouldn’t be doing this by yourself. Keep your phone on, we’ll do this together.’ Harry doesn’t reply. For a moment, I think he has hung up, but then I can hear that he is crying. My eyes fill with tears. If only I had had the courage to leave him before. We would have never come to Cornwall; instead, we would both be carrying on with our lives, watching on TV like the rest of the world. If only … if only … if only …
‘We had some good times, didn’t we, Shells?’ Harry’s voice sounds muffled, as if he’s already underwater.
‘Yes … Yes we did.’ I switch on the loudspeaker and tuck the phone under my bra strap as Poppy pulls us in for a final hug. Ahead of us I can see the wall of water coming closer; it is racingup the beach. We all join hands and I grip onto Margaret and James tightly.
‘I love you,’ says Harry. I wonder if there is really a life after this as Margaret thinks. And if there is, whether I’ll see him, or Mum there. Or if this is it, our final moment.
‘Goodbye’ I say. His response is drowned out as the wave hurtles towards us, hits the cliff edge and….
FACEBOOK
Poppy Armstrong.
6 August 7.50 a.m.
I thought I would have a lot to say in this final post, but now I am here, the words disappear as soon as they form in my mind. I used to think that my Facebook page was a way of making a permanent mark on the world, that if anything happened to me, at least my words and images would be here. A reminder to people of the person I was. But now I am less sure. Now I think it will fade and disappear, as I will, as everything does eventually. After all, aren’t we just imprints in the sand?
I must go, but I find myself unable to move. I used to do this on the last day of the holidays, standing at the top of the beach, not daring to go down. Because once I put my first foot in the sand, it was an admission that everything was coming to an end. Today, I know that once I turn off my iPad, there is no going back. I am not quite ready to make that walk yet.
So I remain here, trying not to imagine the wave that is coming, trying not to fall into the delusion that somehow, even now, we might escape it. Instead, I will try and make these last words count. I will try to be honest as I leave this world.
I did something terrible once, to someone I loved and then I ran away. There were circumstances that led to my deceit (mitigating ones if you’re inclined to be nice, no excuse if you are not). But I did a wicked thing, and then I was ashamed, and I didn’t know how to put it right. I thought one day I would find a way to repair the damage. But I left it till there was no time left, and though I have apologized, I left it too little, too late.
I did something terrible, but … I hope people will remember me for who I am now rather than the person I was a decade ago. It will be up to you all, of course. I’ll have no say and I suppose it won’t matter much to me.
Margaret and Nikki are sure, afterwards, we will all go to Heaven and be with their God. Though they cannot describe where that is, or what it would be like. I can’t quite believe that, any more than I believe Yan’s idea that once we are gone we will become as one with the air and linger on in spirit. I have never been much of a believer in anything, but I find myself, as I come to the end, having one last wish. Many of you have asked what you can do to help, and I have said, nothing, your presence and thoughts are enough. But now, as I steady myself to walk over to the others I find myself wanting you to do one thing for me, for us. For the next few minutes, for the next few days, can you do this, one small thing, please?
Pray for us.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I am hugely grateful to the many people who have helped me bring The Wave to life.
There are three groups who have been particularly important:
For several years, I was a regular participant in #fridayflash an online writing community. Each week we would post short fiction on our blogs providing each other with valuable critique. The Wave was one such story. As usual, community members were supportive and encouraging in their response and it was enough to make me think I had the beginnings of my next novel. Thanks to all of you who commented on this and other stories, you really helped me progress as a writer.
In November 2013, I signed up for National Novel Writing Month, in the hope that it would help get me going. To my surprise I ended the month with 50,000 (very bad) words in the bag. I highly recommend #nanowrimo as a way to kick-start a writing project (my third novel has begun life that way too) and am grateful to all those who make it happen.
I have been a member of the Cowley Consonants since 2006 during which time we have read and enjoyed many novels together. Thanks to all of you for reading mine and being such enthusiastic cheerleaders.
The following individuals have also been enormously helpful:
In 2015 I entered the opening chapter of The Wave in a Retreat West competition. Thank you, Amanda Saint, for putting me on the shortlist at a time when I was despairing of ever being published. Thanks also to Jo Unwin, the judge of that competition, who provided me with encouraging feedback which helped convince me the book was worth pursuing.
My twin sister, Julia Williams, is my first reader and always provides excellent insights. Thanks so much for your enthusiasm about The Wave and for being such a powerful advocate for the book.
Anne Booth is the friend every writer needs. Thank you so much for always being there for me and your constant support for me during the writing of this novel.
I am grateful also to Scott Pack for invaluable advice, and for generally being brilliant and to Xander Cansell and John Mitchinson for your kindness and understanding.
A book cannot come into being without a great editorial team. I am so lucky to have Kate Bradley as my editor for this book. Thank you so much for your warm and perceptive appraisal, helpful challenge and for telling me when to stop. Thanks also to Charlotte Ledger for championing the novel, to Kati Nicholl for copyediting and the design team for the fabulous front cover.
Finally, an author is only able to be an author with the help of their family. I am so lucky with mine. To my children, Beth, Claire and Jonathan, thank you for putting up with me spending November 2013 glued to the computer and for frequent disappearances in the years that followed. And most of all to my husband, Chris, whose unfailing love, support and tolerance make it all possible.
About the Author
Virginia Moffatt was born in London, one of eight children, several of whom are writers. Her eldest brother has written a theology book, one sister is a poet, a second a translator and her twin is a successful author.
Virginia has always been a writer, but only began taking it seriously in 2004. Since then she has published Rapture and What Comes After (flash fiction Gumbo Press 2014) and Echo Hall (novel, Unbound, 2017). She also writes non-fiction. She blogs at ‘A Room of My Own’ where she publishes flash fiction, short essays, and reflections about writing and reading.
After working in social care for thirty years, she has held a variety of jobs and is currently employed as a procurement and contracts manager in a multi-academy school.
Virginia is married to Chris Cole, director of Drone Wars UK. Two of their children are now at University, the third lives with them at their home in Oxford.
About the Publisher
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United Kingdom
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