by Grace Lowrie
Did I hurt you?
‘A little, but nothing I can’t handle.’
She smiled, reaching out and tenderly smoothing down my hair with her fingers.
‘Why do you do it?’ I said, on impulse.
What? she mouthed.
‘Deliberately hurt me like that.’
She studied my face for a moment, giving me just enough time to regret my question while she tapped out a reply: Because you like it.
The blunt truth of this statement was like a punch to the gut, flooding me with shame. ‘And it doesn’t bother you? That I like it?’
Why should it?
‘Well... a shrink, a psychiatrist, might have something to say about it...’ I tried to ignore the uneasiness in my stomach as she typed.
So what? You’re not sleeping with a shrink, you’re sleeping with me, and I love who you are.
Her acceptance was more than I could have hoped for and more than I deserved; I was pathetically grateful for it and kissed her hard. ‘Thank you,’ I whispered against her lips.
Smiling, she withdrew and returned her attention to her phone once more:
You’re welcome. Now get back to work.
I laughed and shook my head as I read her parting words, and she smirked as she flounced out the door.
Chapter Forty-two
From the warmth and safety of the house I observed, my breath condensing on the windows, as Liam and Olly arrived to meet the delivery of new glass. The men worked together to carefully unload it from the truck before gingerly carrying each piece round to the walled garden, pane by pane.
Olly didn’t stop talking the whole time.
It was only about five degrees outside. There had been a frost overnight, and although the sun was now shining on the green patchwork landscape, the light had a milky quality and was yet to thaw those parts of the grounds still in shade. The old me would simply have stayed indoors; tucked up in my warm room above the kitchen, especially with a relative stranger hanging around. But Liam had been gone all weekend, working on someone else’s garden, and now my desire to be close to him was more powerful than my reluctance to face Olly.
A good part of my weekend had been spent in the grotto sketching the five naked statues – Pan and his harem – from various different angles, and thinking about my boyfriend. Since Liam had opened my eyes and awakened my body, the human obsession with sex – as illustrated by the Victorian sculptures – no longer seemed so ludicrous or so dirty. My mind was opening up to a whole new world of kinky experiences and possibilities .
And I loved him. I loved his kindness and his patience; I loved how big, strong and powerful he was, and how safe and protected I felt in his arms. But I also loved how willingly he handed me control. Turned out he liked a little pain with his pleasure and trusted me enough to let me see it. I imagined that not all men would be prepared to do the same.
I could have texted him over the weekend and begged him to come back and spend the night with me, but I was too proud; this was all too new to me, and Liam was too much of a gentleman to invite himself over. Damn him. Instead I’d visited the pawn shop to exchange more of my unwanted jewellery for cash, which I then took straight to the large and imposing supermarket on the main road. Thankfully they now had computerised, self-service checkouts – no speech or embarrassment required on my part – and I was now in possession of enough condoms to put a prostitute to shame. The next opportunity we had to be alone together, I would be ready. And until then I would simply be satisfied to spend time in my new boyfriend’s company – I was not about to let one loquacious teenage boy stand in my way.
At midday I ventured into the kitchen to make tea and sandwiches for three. Ignoring Mrs Daly’s mocking expression, I threw on a jacket and boots and carefully carried everything out on a large tray towards the walled garden.
Liam was up a ladder as I arrived, fitting a large pane of glass into the timber-framed roof with his large and capable gloved hands. Olly was stood below holding the base of the ladder steady; providing a stream of vocal support that Liam could probably do without.
‘Yeah, that looks great from here – sweet – must be the right piece of the puzzle after all. If you need more clips, I’ve got them here. Do you think the next pane will be the same size? Shall I go find it...?’ He started backing away.
‘Just hold the ladder, Olly.’
‘Oh yeah, right, sorry.’ Abruptly Olly grabbed hold of the ladder again, making Liam wobble and then sigh.
It was Liam who sensed my presence first, but his glance of surprise alerted Olly, who immediately abandoned his hold on the ladder again. Studiously ignoring them both I concentrated on setting the heavy tray down on the end of a raised bed.
‘Hello there,’ Olly said, trotting towards me with a huge grin. ‘What’s this? Lunch...? For us...?’
In my peripheral vision Liam was descending the ladder, but I looked at Olly and nodded while he peeled his gloves off. He was a few inches taller than me, despite being three years younger, but even with all the bulky layers he was wearing, he nowhere near matched Liam’s impressive size. Blue eyes sparkling with warmth from behind his floppy fringe, his huge grin was unnerving.
‘It looks great, thanks.’ Olly helped himself to a cherry tomato and popped it in his mouth. ‘I didn’t catch your name before...?’ he added with his mouth full.
‘Olly, this is Melody – Mel, meet Olly,’ Liam said, calmly walking up behind Olly, slapping him on the back and seamlessly rescuing me from the threat of another awkward silence.
‘Good to meet you, Melody,’ Olly said, glancing from Liam to me.
‘You didn’t have to bring us lunch,’ Liam said.
I shrugged and he smiled, one of those special smiles that warmed my blood, and I knew that despite the physical space between us, he was still mine.
‘I’m gonna help myself if that’s OK? I’m starving,’ Olly grabbed a sandwich and stuffed it into his mouth with an appreciative moan as he sat beside the tray.
Liam shook his head in despair, taking a mug of tea and a sandwich for himself and sitting on the raised bed opposite. I stayed where I was, on the other side of the tray, sipping anxiously at my tea, while bracing myself for the onslaught of questions that was undoubtedly coming my way.
I didn’t have to wait long.
‘So, what’s it like, living in a mansion?’
With a roll of my eyes I typed a response on my phone and held it out across the lunch tray for Olly to read.
‘It’s like living in a house, but more spacious,’ Olly said, reading my reply aloud with a puzzled expression. ‘Can’t you talk?’
I shook my head.
‘Serious? Why not?’
I shrugged non-committally.
‘That’s cool. I had a mate once who was deaf. He could lip-read so well that people didn’t even realise he was deaf most of the time.’
I tapped out another text and thrust it beneath his nose.
‘I’m not deaf,’ Olly read aloud. Clearly he was unable to resist speaking, but at least it made Liam privy to our conversation. ‘No, I know, I’m just saying... but, like, it must be annoying sometimes when you can’t say what’s on your mind, right...?’ I texted again. ‘At least I don’t give people ear-ache,’ Olly read out, making Liam laugh. ‘Yeah, OK, very funny,’ Olly muttered, taking another bite of his sandwich.
I hid my smile behind my mug of tea as I warmed my hands on it and Liam winked at me across the path.
I was actually enjoying myself.
Chapter Forty-three
Mel was a marvel. I’d assumed she’d keep her distance while Olly was around, but each day she came out and had lunch with us, freely making conversation with Olly through the text function on her mobile as if she’d been doing it all her life. Today she looked as delightful as ever in a long embroidered corduroy skirt, a warm, fitted velvet jacket and a quirky feathered hat. Though he teased her, Olly wasn’t fazed by Mel’s unusual appearance, and she g
ave as good as she got. It was immensely gratifying to see her interacting with someone else with such ease, and to witness her confidence growing day by day. Her courage both inspired and aroused me, especially when she was deftly putting Olly in his place with a look, or a few carefully chosen words.
But a small, petty, jealous part of me missed having Mel all to myself. We’d not been alone together for almost a week. She never invited me back or suggested I return after I’d dropped Olly off home each evening, and I didn’t want her to feel pressured into coming to mine. Of course it was sensible to take our relationship slowly, and time apart from each other was probably healthy, and yet, as I witnessed the friendship developing between Mel and Olly, I began to feel absurdly desperate to be close to her; claim her for myself.
With only three years between them, Olly and Mel were much closer in age than she and I were. Olly was young, fun and single, and he could be charming when he set his mind to it. What if she preferred him to me?
Unsettled by this idea, I promptly lost my appetite. Picking up my paintbrush I returned to today’s task of painting the boathouse, leaving Olly and Mel to continue their lunch and conversation behind me on the deck.
‘Have you heard of Bad Bears’ Picnic?’ Olly asked. ‘They’re a London-based rock band – they’re really good. They’re playing at The Barfly on Saturday night if you fancy coming to see them...?’
Olly had stopped reading Mel’s texts aloud, so I could no longer hear her replies, but I refrained from turning around and making eye contact with her. Wasn’t this what I’d wanted all along? For Mel to make friends with people her own age and discover the world out there beyond her home? This was her opportunity, and as much as I didn’t want to lose her, I wouldn’t be the one to hold her back. Bracing myself for Mel’s response I forced myself to stay calm and kept painting; focusing on broad, even strokes of the brush.
‘You have a boyfriend?’ Olly said with obvious surprise. ‘Who?’
The brush stilled in my hand and my eyes closed as her slender arms slipped around my waist from behind. Her warm body pressed up against mine as she squeezed me in a tight, possessive hug. God I’d missed her touch. Swallowing the lump of emotion in my throat, I dropped the brush in the paint pot and turned in her arms to face her. Her silvery eyes were defiant as she stared up at me, and a smile hovered on her lips as I cupped her up-turned face and pressed my mouth to hers. I kissed her deeply, releasing my fear, relief, and intense gratitude in an effort to communicate all my love, without words.
‘Shit...’ The expression on Olly’s face was comical as we pulled apart and looked at him. ‘You two are together...?’
Mel nodded as she turned towards him, and I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.
‘You’ve been together this whole time.?’
She nodded again, drawing my arms firmly around her as she leaned back against me, discretely hiding my erection which was now pressing into her lower back.
‘You sly dog,’ Olly said, walking up to us and punching me on the shoulder. ‘You kept that quiet,’ he added, with a shake of his head. Picking up the can of paint at my feet, he retrieved the brush and started scraping off the excess. I’d never seen Olly Dent lost for words before.
Glancing up at me, Mel urged me away from Olly, across the decking, and beyond the lake.
‘I’ll just carry on with this shall I?’ Olly called after us as Mel led me into the trees.
‘Yes please,’ I said over my shoulder, ‘I’ll be back in a minute...’
Dragging me out of view behind the trunk of the nearest oak tree, Mel pulled my head down to kiss me with greater urgency. It was wonderful to have her in my arms again; to be enveloped in her deliciously scented warmth and fervour. As I hoisted her up into the air she wrapped her legs tightly around my hips, her body clinging to mine. Maybe she’d been missing the physical side of our relationship as much as I had.
As she scraped her teeth along my jaw, followed by her hot tongue, I muttered her name under my breath, feeling near-delirious. Stumbling forwards I braced her gently against the trunk of the tree, and she burrowed beneath my clothes and unzipped my fly. As she took hold of me and sucked on my tongue, I tried to stifle a groan. The fresh air was cool on my skin, but no match for the throbbing heat Mel generated in my body. As I rucked up her skirt and slid my hands beneath her, I discovered that she wore absolutely no knickers at all. Her eagerness only ramped up my own arousal and I kissed her again. Extracting a ribbed condom from her pocket, she rolled it on over my straining length while I continued to stroke and caress her.
‘Are you ready?’ I whispered, conscious of Olly not far away.
Nodding she shoved her hands into the back of my pants; scoring my skin with her nails, grabbing my bum, and giving it a decisive squeeze. She gazed intently into my eyes as I shifted her up into position and filled her, her body capturing and claiming mine. But I was close; too close. Holding her still I savoured the feel of her around me, the warm sunlight filtering down through the trees and the natural music of the birds singing. Did life get any better than this?
She began a rocking, flexing motion with her hips, clenching and massaging rhythmically around my shaft, deep inside her, until I could take no more and was forced to move. Cupping her bottom in my hands I lifted her up so that I could thrust back inside her, stealing her breath, before repeating the action; driving inside her again and again. On the third thrust she began to fall apart; her body spasming with the force of it and her fingernails digging in hard enough to draw blood. With two more drives inside I was joining her; grunting with my own explosive, leg-trembling release.
As she covered my face in kisses I collapsed against her, pinning her to the tree with my body and breathing hard.
‘God I’ve missed this,’ I muttered, nestling my face in her hair. ‘Are you OK?’
I sensed her nod and smile, and then her body shook with silent laughter.
‘What’s so funny?’ Drawing my head back I looked at her.
‘Holy shit, are you guys doing it?’ Olly’s shocked voice rang out through the trees.
‘Get back to work, Olly,’ I growled, not taking my eyes off Mel’s face and hoping I was preserving her modesty with my own body.
Olly muttered under his breath as he stomped back the way he’d come, kicking dead leaves out of his way as he retreated. Mel continued to quietly chuckle as I withdrew, set her back on her feet and made myself decent.
‘I’m glad you find it amusing. I’m his boss; I’m supposed to set an example... I’m never going to hear the end of this...’
Mel tried and failed to stop smiling, her cheeks flushed and eyes alight with mischief, as she grabbed a handful of my sweatshirt and pulled me in for another kiss. She had never looked happier or more beautiful and I was overwhelmed with pride that she was mine. In that moment I realised that I would forgive this woman for anything.
Chapter Forty-four
It was half past four on Friday afternoon when Olly rang the bell at the front door. Mrs Daly was there immediately, as if lying in wait, and Olly’s loud, cheerful voice carried right through the house as I hurried to meet him.
‘Hello, I’m looking for Melody, she about?’
‘No she’s not, and you set one muddy foot inside this house and I’ll have you arrested for trespassing.’
‘Er, right, OK...’
I glared at Mrs Daly as I reached the door.
‘He’s not coming in this house,’ she muttered. I waited for her to retreat further down the hallway before turning my attention to Olly.
‘Sorry, I just wanted to let you know I’m off now – my mate, Boz, is picking me up at the gate and we’re heading into London for the weekend to see that band and get wasted. You sure you don’t wanna come?’
Olly’s offer amused me, but in my haste to reach the front door, I’d neglected to bring anything to communicate with. I smiled as I shook my head.
He shrugged dramatically. ‘I tried. Late
rs, Mel...’ he yelled as he trudged away into the twilight.
I was surprised that the light was already fading, but then October was almost over, the clocks had gone back and tomorrow would be Halloween. Not that the occasion meant much to me – I knew all about it from the internet and horror movies, but I’d never had an opportunity to celebrate it. Trick or Treaters were not admitted through the gates, and dressing up as a witch, purely for my own benefit, simply didn’t appeal. But maybe it would be different this year – now that I had a boyfriend – maybe we could do something...?
Liam wasn’t visible from my bedroom window, but his location was marked by a plume of grey smoke rising above the trees in the far north-east corner of the grounds. Having changed and found myself an old pair of heels, I followed the silvery ribbon of path through the encroaching darkness until I came to the clearing.
The bonfire was the size of a car and impressive in its ferocity. The pyramid-like structure was composed of broken palettes, rotten fence posts, and a tangle of twisted branches. The woody autumnal fragrance tickled my nostrils even at a distance, the shifting orange flames mesmerising as they danced. I took a moment to admire the fine architect of the inferno as he stood with his back to me, silhouetted against the blaze; broad and imposing. A shiver of excitement ran the length of my spine as he turned, alerted to my presence by a sixth sense. He didn’t say anything and I couldn’t see his face, but I knew he was smiling.
Slowly I walked towards the bonfire, as if unaffected by Liam; as if I wasn’t desperate to be near him and aching for his touch. Stopping beside him, I gazed into the flames, savouring the tense crackle of anticipation between us as heat and light bathed my face and hands. When I could wait no longer I looked up at him and his eyes caught mine, burning with an intensity of their own.
‘Alone at last,’ he said softly, raising his hand and stroking the side of my face with one rough fingertip. I rose up onto my tiptoes as he took my chin between finger and thumb and bent down to kiss me, his lips soft and rousing. As his tongue found mine I sighed with pleasure and he used his arms to gather my now-limp body securely up against his. We kissed for a long time, revelling in the taste and feel of each other’s mouths; lost in the luxury of it.
