I could think of nothing to say, and I sure as hell didn’t want to stay caught between him and the desk, so I did the one thing I thought I had to: I got up. A stupid idea, really, because when I stood up, I was only nestled between his chest and my desk even worse than I was than when sitting down.
Had Will never heard of personal space before? There was a bubble around everyone that you didn’t go into…or maybe that was what my speech teacher said in high school. Use the whole bubble when you’re up there, giving speeches? Ugh. Whatever. Either way, I shouldn’t be less than an inch from his chest.
You know what was even weirder?
He didn’t move away. No, Will stood there, not moving an inch. At least he wasn’t leaning down anymore, but that was because he didn’t need to. I had gotten up, I had closed the distance between us, and by the look of it, I was the only one who felt immensely awkward here.
Will was busy studying me. “You smell like strawberries,” he said, his lips hardly moving.
“That,” I said, sounding one hundred percent like the awkward girl you couldn’t help but cringe at in teen movies, “would be my body wash. You can use it, if you want.” Oh, hell. I was just rambling now, wasn’t I? “Then you could smell like strawberries.” I might’ve, uh, poked his chest as I said that last part.
Shit. This was not good.
Will made a noncommittal sound. “Eh, I don’t think the scent would work as good on me as it does on you.”
I had no idea what to say, and it was at that moment that I heard the shower stop running, so I ducked, moving under Will’s arm, finally stepping away from him, able to breathe in deeply without fear of my boobs touching him.
Was it hot in here, or was it just me? All that intimate closeness made me forget about the fact I’d slammed my splinted thumb against the underside of the desk. At least it was good for something.
I sat on my bed, pretending to not notice the way Will stared at me. I was a conflicted bitch. Half of me liked having those pretty hazel eyes on me, while the other half wanted to crawl under my sheets and pretend he wasn’t in the room. I almost told Will to go see if Declan needed any help, but we’d both been told off by Declan when we tried to help him before. He might have a long cut in his arm—which was now full of stitches—but he’d be damned if he needed our help to change or anything.
“How come I never see you on your phone?” Will asked, and as I sat there dumbly, wondering why the hell Will had to catch everything, Declan walked out of the shower, wearing nothing but athletic shorts.
Water droplets galore. It was impossible not to stare at Declan as he made his way out, using his good arm to rub a towel along his hair. “If you broke it Saturday night,” Declan started, all but leaping to agree with his brother, “I can pay to have it fixed, or replaced—” He thought everything that happened that night was his fault, but in reality, it was the other way around.
It was my fault, and I had no idea whether or not I should tell him. If I told him about Travis, about the diary I’d found, he’d be better prepared if Travis made another move. On the other hand, what if he didn’t believe me? It was that nagging fear, that tiny suspicion of failure that kept my mouth closed.
Hmm. Maybe I’d bring it up to Will, see what he thought about it. Travis, Sawyer, and Declan were all close growing up; Will was always there, even if he was a few years older, a fourth-year senior at Stanton.
I stood there, silent, my eyes flicking between the brothers. Seeing them so close, one of them shirtless and wet, was not good for my sanity. I really wanted to grab my skateboard and hightail it out of here, but then I might run into Travis, and until the sidewalks were full of other students, I wouldn’t be safe roaming them by myself.
“What’s wrong?” Will asked, his dark brows creasing. “Is it your hand?”
“What’s wrong with her hand?” Declan questioned, to which his brother shot him a look. “I mean, aside from the splint and what happened. Did she hurt it again?” So eager, so thoughtful. He tossed his towel onto his desk, moving toward me, unknowing that his shirtless form was the problem here.
His bare chest, the way he doted on me, how Will acted around me—I mean, what the hell was a girl to do?
Declan’s injury-free hand reached for me, lightly touching my elbow, far enough above the splint that he gripped me harder than I expected him to. Any touch would be too much. “Did you hurt it, Ash?” he repeated, his voice a bare whisper.
“Did you ever get the prescription filled?” Will shook his head. “Of course not. You don’t have a car. I’ll take you.”
I pulled myself away from them both. “I’m fine,” I stated, hoping they believed me. I didn’t need either of them doting on me like I…like I was their girlfriend or something. “I am getting hungry, though.”
“I’ll pick something up,” Will offered. “What are you guys hungry for?” He grinned. “As long as I bring back chicken nuggets, I have a feeling you’ll be happy.”
Why’d I have to go and share something about myself to him?
Declan moved his eyes from me to his brother. “Surprise us,” he said, and Will nodded and left, tossing a quick look at me before he was out the door. Then it was just me and Declan. Declan and I. You know, like old times.
Except not really. I didn’t remember this much sexual tension, or maybe I was just oblivious to it before.
My eyes were on Declan’s flat abdomen. Not as muscled as his brother, but flat and smooth where it counted. And that V-shape leading to his…
Nope. Not going to go there.
“You plan on putting on a shirt, or is this going to be a shirtless dorm room? I warn you, I only have one nice bra.” Shit. Telling Declan about the state of affairs of my bra drawer was not something I should be doing.
Declan’s cheeks grew pink, and before I knew it, he turned away from me, giving me his back as he went to his dresser. He said nothing as he pulled out a shirt, being careful as he put it on. “Better?” he asked, turning to me. No more blushing. Good. Maybe we could finally move past this.
“Yep,” I said. Apparently me threatening to walk around in a bra was the only threat Declan needed to put clothes on. Seeing me shirtless, while it wouldn’t be the first time, was out of the question.
I moved to sit on my bed. “Your brother’s nice,” I said, trying to change subjects.
“He is.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about him?”
Declan looked at me, gingerly sitting himself down on his desk chair. “You never asked.”
“Okay,” I said, “any other siblings I should know about?” AKA any other Briggs hotness to prepare myself for? I held in a sigh when he shook his head. Just him and Will, thankfully.
“Do you?” he asked me, earning a confused blink from me.
“No,” I said, not sure why he’d want to know anything about me. My life really wasn’t that interesting. “I mean, my dad might have other kids by now, but I don’t know them, and I hope I never do.” With my dad running off when I was so young, he was bound to have other kids by now.
The thought was horrible. I wanted him to be miserable for what he did to my mom, to me. Dumping us like we were trash, worthless to him. Chasing tail, chasing a woman who was his secretary or something. I didn’t know the whole story, and that was mostly because it was never a story for a child’s ears, but I knew he did us wrong.
I also knew he was doing a lot better for himself than we ever were. He might not have been as rich as these kids and their families at Hillcrest, but he wasn’t dirt poor, either.
Declan then asked something he shouldn’t have, something that made a nauseous pit grow in my stomach. “What about ex-boyfriends?”
It was a simple enough question, and its answer should’ve been easy. After all, I’d played this game with Sawyer on our date. But perhaps it was because of what happened here not that many days ago, or perhaps it was simply because I wasn’t with Sawyer, so my walls weren’t up, but I thought o
f him.
“I’ve dated a few,” I said, not wanting to talk about it. My boyfriends growing up were more like boys who I just happened to kiss. My last boyfriend was an on and off thing for years…and it only ended because one of us ended up in jail—and here’s a hint: it wasn’t me.
My last boyfriend was the reason I knew guys like Travis too well. My last boyfriend was the reason I woke up sometimes in a panic, as if I’d never truly gotten away. My last boyfriend…he wasn’t the sort of guy you’d ever bring home to Mom. In fact, for all those years in high school, I’d kept him from her. He was my secret, my special thrill I kept to myself.
I’d been stupid.
Declan ran a hand along his laptop, which had remained closed and untouched these last few days. “I’ve only ever been with Sabrina,” he whispered, a particular detail I didn’t need to know…and it made me wonder if he meant he’d only dated Sabrina, or if he meant he’d only ever been with her in a sexual capacity.
Even though it’d been nearly a year, a hollow sadness still rested in his voice when he spoke of her. It was a gloominess that would probably never go away. If Sabrina was his first love, then he might never get over her, even if they weren’t strictly together when she died…even if she’d been with Travis, too.
“Would you ever date again?” I asked in a bare whisper, my eyes on the carpet. For some reason, I couldn’t stand to look at him when he talked about Sabrina. Knowing I reminded him of her made me feel all different kinds of conflicted.
It was a minute before Declan nodded, his dark eyes staring at me. “For the right girl, I would.”
“The right girl,” I echoed, lost in my own mind. Declan could be running around the room naked, swinging his dick around like he’d just discovered it, and I wouldn’t have noticed. Anyone would do anything for the right girl… “I don’t think I’m anyone’s girl,” I spoke, leaning my head back as I lay down on my bed.
“What do you mean?” Declan asked, genuinely curious.
I turned, giving him my back. I ran a hand over the sheets below me, feeling so tired, even if it was still day. Even if the world of night was hours away. “I think some people are made to be in relationships,” I muttered. “Me? I’m not, and I don’t mean it like I have a fear of commitment. I mean…”
I couldn’t speak another word, and I heard Declan get off his chair and move closer to me. “Ash,” he spoke my name softly, sitting on the bed with me.
Ray. That was his name. Even when I thought it, I felt a shiver run down my spine. His name came with so much baggage, and I honestly had done my best to try to forget about him and what he did, what he made me do.
“He broke me,” I stated in a whisper, staring at the wall with my fingers splayed in the sheets. “I might look put-together, I might act normal, but I’m not. I’m broken, Declan, and there’s no fixing me.”
I thought coming to Hillcrest was my way out, but surrounded by these rich boys and their problems, their machinations and their handsome faces, I was doing nothing but drowning. Even if the guys didn’t kill me, my past just might. After all, Travis was nothing like Ray.
“You’re not broken,” Declan said. “And neither am I. We might have scars, but we’re here. We’re alive. We’ll move on…we have to.”
I detected a hint of wistfulness, and I turned to look at him. He gingerly set a hand on my side, his warmth flooding into me like a tidal wave of contentedness, a type of tranquility I was fine with. I got up, leaning myself against his chest, for once being careful not to touch his hurt arm, and to keep my splinted hand aside.
Declan let out a ragged breath, and I felt his good hand travel to my lower back. It wasn’t the first time we’d embraced, but it was the first time I wasn’t thinking about pulling away. I closed my eyes when I leaned my forehead against his neck, never wanting this moment to end.
“Moving on is hard,” I muttered.
“I know,” Declan said, and I tilted my head, my eyes falling to his mouth.
Now was not the time to kiss him, but damn it, I really wanted to.
“Ash,” he whispered my name in a hushed tone, and I brought a hand to his face, trailing my fingers down his cheek. “If something ever happened to you because of me…I don’t think I could live with it.”
I wasn’t quite sure what he meant, but I knew the feeling. If something happened to Declan because of me, I’d be devastated. More devastated than I’d ever been in my whole life, and that was saying something, considering how my last relationship ended.
Declan’s dark gaze was on my mouth. “I really want to kiss you,” he murmured.
My breath caught, my heart skipping a beat or two. “Why don’t you?” The question of the day, maybe even of the year. Why don’t you? What’s stopping you? Why don’t we throw all caution to the wind and just do it already?
“I’m afraid if we cross that line, we’ll never be able to go back.” Declan’s words made more sense than I wanted them to, and as stupid as it was, I found myself nodding along. He was right, of course. We were roommates. If things got complicated between us, there was no breaking up and switching rooms. Things weren’t that simple.
By the time Will came back with the food—McDonald’s, my grease-loving heart leaped for joy—Declan and I were on opposite sides of the room, pretending as if our embrace and near-kiss hadn’t happened. But he was right. It’d be easier to act normal with sexual tension than it was to act normal after you had sex.
Sex with Declan…sounded like heaven, actually.
We ate on the floor, talking and joking as if we were all long lost friends. I was comfortable around both Declan and Will. It was nice, considering. My chicken nuggets were mostly gone when someone knocked on the door, and because Will was not used to how things went around here, he got up and opened it before asking who it was or glancing through the peephole.
A sexy, tattooed bad boy stood in the hallway, his sapphire eyes glaring at Will.
Will didn’t blink, though I did see his back tense up. “Travis.”
Chapter Ten – Travis
I did not think I’d encounter William Briggs in Ash’s room. I was caught unaware for the first time in a while, and I did not appreciate it. It took everything in me to remain calm and give him a tight-lipped smile. I hadn’t spent too much time with him growing up, but I knew he didn’t particularly care for me, especially with everything that went down with Sabrina and Declan in the last year.
“William,” I said his name, not liking the way it tasted.
“What do you want?” Straight to the point, which I could respect. His hazel stare held mine, and he leaned between the open door and the door frame, his muscular body blocking out the dorm room behind him. I couldn’t see much, but I did see Declan and Ash on the floor, though Ash was slowly getting to her feet.
Since I hadn’t expected to see William, I knew my plan was shot all to hell, so I figured why not try to do what I came here for anyway? I said, “I’m here to see Ash.”
“Ash?” William repeated, lowering his voice when he said her name, as if…
I stared at him, fury growing inside me. As if he fucking liked her. How the hell did he even know her? Why was he here? Just to test me? God, if I survived Hillcrest without killing half a dozen people, namely everyone who stood in between Ash and me, it’d be a miracle.
“I wasn’t aware you knew each other,” William went on, narrowing his eyes at me. “May I ask why you’re here to see her? You know, she strikes me as a good girl, not your type. Maybe you should just run along, Travis. Find someone else to fuck with.”
I was about to snap at him, my fingers curling into fists at my sides, but William’s back straightened the moment Ash appeared beside him, her hand on his back. She was touching him as if it was nothing.
I wasn’t gone for that long, was I?
“It’s okay,” Ash spoke, causing William to toss me a glare before stepping aside and letting her through. He did not leave, however, and further inside
the room, Declan had gotten to his feet. I noticed his arm was bandaged up.
“What happened there?” I said, too busy glaring at the brothers to notice the splint on Ash’s hand. “Had a busy weekend?” I asked, cocking my head, staring as intently as I could at her.
She all but squirmed as she stood before me. Even after everything, even after she dislodged her own thumb to escape me, her body still reacted to mine. It gave me quite a bit of satisfaction. I still had her. We weren’t done yet.
“Oh, you know,” she said. “The typical weekend, running from psychopaths, hospital trips, all that.” Her words were laced with facetiousness, but they were closer to the truth than they were to lies. “What’d you do, Travis?” Barbs, meant to hurt me, corner me into admitting something.
“The usual,” I said, reaching into my back pocket. “I did find this at my place, though. Thought you might want it back.” Her cell phone sat in my hand, and I offered it to her. Ash froze the moment I brought it out, and she paled when I said I found it at my place. I made sure to say it loud enough that both Briggs in the room could hear.
They had to know she was already claimed.
Ash said nothing as she snatched the phone from me, so quickly she hardly touched me. She only glared at me as she took a step back and slammed the door in my face, a gust of air my only goodbye.
I stood there for a while, the muscles in my jaw clenching. Ash was harder to nail down than I thought. I definitely underestimated her. She’d gone to the hospital, and since I hadn’t been arrested, I knew she hadn’t spoken a word about what happened to anyone. There was no way William would’ve answered the door if he knew what I did to Ash a few days ago.
How much more would it take before she realized she was mine? I hoped what was on her phone would help her see that Sawyer wasn’t right for her…but I had to do something about Declan and his brother. The Briggs brothers would not get in my way.
I spun to leave. I made it to the stairs, taking two at a time as I headed to the ground floor. I left the building, made it about twenty steps away on the sidewalk when I heard someone shouting. My legs stopped, and I turned to face Ash, who was rushing up to me. Behind her, I saw, William stood with his arms crossed, keeping the side door to the stairwell propped open, her fucking bodyguard.
Freak (Hillcrest University #2) Page 7
