by Kat Mizera
Aaron took a pull from his beer to keep from saying something snarky. “We’re just friends. Why?”
He shrugged. “I was thinking of asking her out. She’s hot and Dani says she’s single.”
The rage that burned through Aaron caught him off guard and he had to clear his throat to hide his reaction.
“Oh, hey, it’s cool,” Donovan said quickly. “I get it. She’s pretty and smart and seems like a lot of fun. That’s why I was thinking about her, but if you’ve got a thing for her…”
“I don’t know what I have,” he muttered. “It’s one of those things where I don’t want to fuck up the friendship, you know? I think she’s interested, but I’m not sure what we’ll do when she leaves to go back to school. She’s going to be a veterinarian.”
“I didn’t know that.” Donovan seemed thoughtful. “You’re probably better off not starting anything. And that goes double for me. Last thing I need is another woman who’s not going to stay in Alaska.”
“But do you regret it?”
“Regret what? Marrying Jane?”
“The whole thing. Meeting her, loving her, the whole relationship.”
Donovan looked away. “No. I mean, she’s beautiful and funny and we had a lot of good times. I’m pissy because of how things ended, but I don’t regret it. I covered my ass with a prenup, so I’m not taking a hit financially other than some wedding gifts and paying to move her stuff home to Buffalo. Overall, we had fun. Amazing sex—and I’m talking mind-blowing.” He grinned. “We took great vacations. There were more good times than bad. I’m looking at it like a lesson learned kind of thing. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
“And that’s the whole problem.” Aaron was even more confused now. He’d gone the whole summer putting her out of his mind, but now that she was living with him, she was all he thought about. How the hell was he going to do the right thing when her mere presence reminded him of everything they could have if he would just try?
17
Dinner seemed to go on forever. Sara wanted to like Troy, she really did, but he was so damn boring. She kept going out with him hoping the nervous, self-absorbed chatter would eventually morph into casual, two-way conversation. Instead, he talked about himself and his work ad nauseam. He was cute, successful, and quite intelligent, but he bored her senseless. She tried to steer the conversation away from medicine repeatedly, but he always found his way back there. Even if it meant interrupting her to change the subject.
He was currently describing the complications from his most recent knee replacement, and she rested her chin on her fist as he talked. All through dessert, coffee, and then brandy. He was apparently oblivious to her attempts to steer the conversation in a different direction, so now she was just resigned and itched to get out her phone to text Dani or Hailey and ask them to save her from this nightmare of a date.
“I was thinking maybe we could go back to my place tonight,” he said, startling her out of her reverie.
“Excuse me?”
“We’ve been dating about a month, so I thought…” His voice trailed off. “I’m thinking by the look on your face, that’s a no.”
“I…” She didn’t even know what to say. They weren’t anywhere near ready to have sex, but she wasn’t quite sure how to say that without being rude.
“I did it again, didn’t I?” He sighed. “I talked too much and bored you to death.”
“You do talk about your work…a lot.”
“Yeah, my ex said that too. She said I’m the most boring guy she’s ever met.”
“I don’t know about that.” Sara didn’t want to be mean. “But you’re not very well-rounded.”
“Medicine is all I do,” he said glumly.
“But you must have other interests,” she said. “Golf? Cooking? Music?”
He shrugged. “I work crazy hours and even though I grew up here, I don’t know a ton of people my age because most of my friends never came back after college. It’s kind of lonely, to be honest.”
“You have to work at friendships,” she said gently. “And if all you talk about is medicine, your friends probably get bored if they’re not doctors too.”
He motioned for the check. “What do you and Aaron talk about? I mean, you’re always talking about him and the stuff you guys do.”
“We talk about everything,” she said slowly. Did she really talk about Aaron a lot? Yikes. She was going to have to knock that off. “We both love hockey, of course, but we talk about the animals at the clinic, our families, funny stuff that happens both when he’s on the road and when I’m at the clinic. We never run out of stuff to talk about.”
“I’m not any good at it.” He looked at her sadly. “I’m sorry. I guess I try too hard.”
“You don’t have to,” she said softly. “I mean, you’re a nice guy. You just come off as kind of self-absorbed sometimes. Think about what you’d like if the shoe was on the other foot, like in a partner. I’m probably not the right person to be giving dating advice, though.”
“Then I’m guessing I’m not getting a second chance with you?” He didn’t seem mad, merely resigned.
“I’m kind of a mess anyway,” she said. “I’m on pins and needles waiting to see if I get accepted to veterinary school and if I do, then I’m leaving next year, which isn’t a great way to start a relationship.”
“Yeah, and you’re probably not keen on coming back to Anchorage.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I haven’t thought about it… I’d come back for the right guy or the right job, not to mention my friends.”
“Well, then, to friendship and maybe a little coaching on how not to be so boring?” His eyes twinkled and she laughed, lifting her empty brandy snifter.
“To friendship, and I’ll try.”
He dropped her off half an hour later and she told him she was okay getting upstairs on her own. She was exhausted and hadn’t realized until tonight how tiring it was to date someone she didn’t like that much. He was nice enough, but there was no chemistry, and trying to force it took more energy than she had. Even if she couldn’t have Aaron, she definitely didn’t want to settle for someone who didn’t make her heart beat a little faster.
She was surprised to hear the TV on when she opened the door, and she called out to Aaron tentatively. “You up?”
“Hey. How was your date?”
“Ugh.” She sank down on the couch next to him and sighed. “Awful.”
“How come?”
She told him everything even though she hated admitting failure. Especially to him.
“Well, I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but I have something that might cheer you up.”
“Oh?”
“I’ve been trying to think of ways to help Dr. Harjo, and Gage called me earlier with the perfect idea.”
“What?” She turned to him with interest.
“A fundraiser.”
“What kind of fundraiser?”
“We were thinking something with the team… You know, capitalize on hockey players and puppies and kittens or some such shit. We’d do it at the arena, get all the guys involved, people can take pictures with puppies and players. And everything costs money. Whatever we make, we donate to Dr. H.”
“Wow.” She was grateful to the friends she’d made here. “That’s so thoughtful. Thank you.”
“Gage said he’d call you sometime this week to talk about details and get your input.”
“That’s great. Was it your idea?”
“My idea was the fundraiser but Gage came up with using the team to entice people to participate and donate.”
“I hope my cast is off by then, so I can actually participate without hobbling around on these stupid crutches. I felt so awkward tonight.”
“You’re not awkward.”
“Coming from a guy who doesn’t want to sleep with me… No offense, but your opinion doesn’t count. Every guy that looked at me had pity in his eyes.”
Aaron shook his head. “I
never said I didn’t want to sleep with you, I said it’s better that we don’t. And those guys weren’t pitying you; they were pitying themselves because the hottest woman in the room was with someone else.”
“I don’t understand you,” she said. “You send all these mixed signals.”
“They’re not mixed signals,” he said. “It’s just… You know my track record. I’m a terrible boyfriend/husband/significant other. I always fuck it up, and I can’t do that with you. You mean too much to me.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She got to her feet, not interested in hearing him reject her again, even if he’d just admitted he wanted to sleep with her. He was so damn frustrating she wanted to scream, but instead she just smiled and said good night. Though she wanted him so badly it hurt, she was never going to beg a man to be with her.
Though the earthquake hadn’t caused overwhelming damage to the city, quite a few members of the Blizzard had damage to their homes. Everyone seemed to be making a good effort on the ice, but much of the team was distracted and it showed in their game. They’d lost the last three in a row and now they were getting ready for a road trip that would keep them away two full weeks.
In an effort to help with morale, Laurel was going on this trip, but she pointed out it would probably be her last road trip of the season because of her pregnancy. The team wasn’t gelling with the new coach and no one was sure why. He wasn’t a bad guy, and Aaron got along with him, but he wasn’t great with the younger guys. He yelled a lot and didn’t have the patience to deal with rookie mistakes. Granted, this was the big leagues and no one should be making the same mistakes over and over, but these guys were still learning. Laurel did her best to help, talking to them privately, but Coach Cade seemed to have a burr up his ass and many of the guys were quickly losing respect.
“I wish Laurel was still our head coach,” Jake said at dinner on the first night of the road trip. “Cade isn’t getting it done, and it’s like we’re going backwards instead of building on last season’s momentum.”
“Should we say something to Laurel?” Aaron asked.
Jake shook his head. “What good is it going to do? She’s almost seven months pregnant. She can’t do anything. We can make a case to Gage for next season, but we’re going to have to ride it out this year.”
“I think—” He cut off abruptly as Laurel approached their table.
“Room for me, boys?”
“Of course.” Jake got up and offered her his chair and then went in search of another one for himself.
“What’s up, Coach?” Sergei asked.
“I have a question for you guys,” she said, looking around. This was their inner circle: Sergei, Jake, Kane, Miika, Logan, and Aaron. Sometimes Dave Price joined them but he’d opted to eat in his room and though the rest of the team was here at the restaurant, they’d all split off in different groups.
“Shoot.” Jake sat down again.
“What do you think of Drake Riser?”
“From the Sidewinders?” Sergei asked. “He’s a great guy. He’s good friends with my brother.”
“What would you think about bringing him in for this season as an assistant coach?” she asked. “I can’t do this much longer, and Coach Cade is struggling. I know you guys are frustrated with him, but his wife is really sick, so cut him a little slack. I don’t know what’s going to happen with that, but with me getting ready to give birth, we need someone solid on the coaching staff. We’re floundering, and it’s not fair. Drake probably won’t move his family here, but I think Gage can convince him to come for the rest of the season.”
“I don’t know him personally,” Kane said. “But he was a badass D-man and a solid guy from what I’ve heard.”
“Good guy,” Jake nodded. “I’d be down with playing for him.”
“I only know him by reputation,” Logan said, “but I’ve heard good things. He just retired, right? He might need a little hockey at this point.”
“Gage is flying to Vegas to talk to him, but I wanted to get your thoughts, too, since I trust you guys.” She looked around. “This is between us, okay?”
“Of course.” The guys all nodded, except Miikka, who seemed to be studying something on his phone.
“Miikka?” Laurel spoke his name quietly.
He rattled off something in Finnish and then showed them the transcribed translation: Drake Riser was one of my childhood hockey idols. I’d be honored to play for him.
Laurel smiled. “Great. I’ll pass along your thoughts. And on that note, Dani and I are going to get pedicures.”
“See you later.” Aaron watched her go and then looked at the others. “Well, things are about to get interesting, eh?”
“You can say that again,” Kane nodded.
“I hope Gage can talk him into it. Coach Cade isn’t getting through to the younger guys, and we’re playing like shit.”
“There’s a lot going on,” Sergei said. “I mean, I don’t know if I’m part of the problem or not, but I’m definitely distracted. Between the house repairs and Dani’s miscarriage, hockey isn’t the only thing on my mind.”
“Family first,” Jake said quietly. “Always. And no, I don’t think you’re part of the problem. This is about the coaching staff and the lack of stability. The younger guys need that and aren’t getting it. The rest of us are doing our best, but we can’t make up for whatever’s going on in Coach Cade’s head.”
“Let’s hope Drake is on board.”
“I’ll call my brother, see if he’s heard anything,” Sergei said. “I think they have a game tonight, but I’ll try him in the morning.”
“Keep us posted.” Aaron wasn’t sure what the team needed right now, but he felt a lot of the frustration. His life was turned upside down now, too, but for totally different reasons than the rest of them. He was pretty good at compartmentalizing things, so he usually kept his personal life from impacting his game. Even during his divorce, he hadn’t let anything get to him. Sara, on the other hand, was getting to him. He thought about her night and day, and he’d come so close to kissing her the other night, he nearly cringed when he thought about it.
There was electricity in the air whenever they were in the same room together, and he’d probably hurt her feelings—again—the other night when he’d reiterated his desire for them to keep things the way they were. It had been dumb to tell her he wanted to sleep with her, but the alternative had been letting her think she wasn’t attractive because of the stupid cast. Didn’t she know how beautiful she was? Probably not. Sara was one of those women who wasn’t insecure, but more oblivious to how sexy she was.
Thinking about her always made his chest tighten a little and usually came with a nice dose of guilt too. He’d been so positive he was doing the right thing by keeping their relationship platonic but the longer she lived with him, the more he realized he didn’t want her to leave. And that was the real problem. She was leaving. Maybe not now, maybe not for a while, but she had to leave Anchorage to go to veterinary school and she wasn’t coming back. He didn’t know that for sure, but why would she? She’d undoubtedly find some kind of job in Minneapolis, close to her parents, and have no reason to come back to Alaska.
You could be her reason.
The thought came and went quickly, but it settled into his subconscious like a virus, making him feel worse than he had originally. Maybe it was time to get back on the horse and find a mindless, willing puck bunny. He couldn’t keep doing this to himself, thinking about Sara and denying himself. It was driving him nuts.
18
Sara got her cast off while the team was on their two-week road trip. She nearly cried with relief when Troy said she was good to go. She had to be careful and not push herself too much, but she could drive, and that was the biggest relief of all. That and being able to wear jeans again. She’d started hating her cut-off leggings, and she and Hailey, who’d driven her to the appointment, made a quick stop at the mall to buy a few new pairs since the old ones were ruined. S
he also bought a good moisturizer because the skin on her leg was dry and scaly.
“What do you want to do to celebrate?” Hailey asked her.
“Oh, I think I’m going to get Dani’s car and go visit Dr. Harjo. I want to see the puppies.”
“Did Gage set a date for the fundraiser?”
Sara nodded. “Yup. Just before Thanksgiving.”
“That’s less than three weeks away.”
“He’s putting something on the website this week and they’ll be advertising it hard at all the games coming up.”
“I’m sure they’ll send out emails to season ticket holders and blast it on social media,” Hailey said. “It’ll be fun. I can’t wait to play with some puppies.”
“Everyone likes playing with puppies.”
“So are you moving back in with Dani and Sergei when the house is done? I think she said it would be ready before Thanksgiving.”
Sara nodded. “Yeah. Living with Aaron is torture, you know? He’s determined that we keep things platonic, and I hate it, so it’ll be better for both of us if we’re not together day and night.”
“What about Merlin?”
“Dani said I can bring him as long as he doesn’t get aggressive with Niko or anything. I don’t think he will, but macaws aren’t the best family pets, so we’ll have to see. Now that I can drive again, I’ll pick Niko up from school and take him over to the apartment to see how they get along.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Hailey said. “Aaron’s an idiot, though.”
“I know.”
“Maybe Kane could—”
“No. Forget it. If he doesn’t see how good we are together, no one else is going to make him see it either.”
“Men are dumb. I thought their cerebral cortexes were fully formed by their late twenties, but Aaron may be a late bloomer.”
“Very late.”
Sara stayed with Hailey while the team was out of town, so she could help with Niko, but she spent a lot of time going back and forth to Aaron’s because of Merlin. The bird seemed sad that both she and Aaron were gone, and she wondered what to do with him. She still hadn’t heard from any of the veterinary schools she’d applied to, but she’d crunched some numbers and there was just no affordable way to go to any of them except the one in Minneapolis. Living with her parents would save her thousands of dollars, and though she hated to put all her eggs in one basket, it was the fiscally responsible way to go.
