by Kat Mizera
“I see.” Sara’s heart was pounding furiously. If this meant what she thought it meant, she was going to be sick.
“So as you’ve probably guessed, you should not have received that rejection letter. You’ve been accepted to the program. I realize you may have made other plans now, but your name came across my desk because Ivan Harjo is an old colleague of mine.”
Oh, sweet Jesus, what the fuck was happening? She had to sit down because she was so nauseated.
“Sara?”
“Yes, I’m still here. I’m just a little overwhelmed.”
“I understand. And I do apologize. I’ve never heard of anything like this happening and it’s heartbreaking. There were so many wonderful candidates who have now signed on to other schools. Have you?”
“I…no.” She swallowed. “My boyfriend plays for the Alaska Blizzard and we just bought a new house. I decided to skip veterinary school for now and focus on his career. I didn’t think it was an option anymore.”
“Well, I have an incentive for you. In case you might still be interested.”
“I’m not sure how I’d make it work at this point, but of course, I’d love to hear it.”
“We’re trying something new, something that hasn’t been done before. We chose a group of local students, because we thought it would be easier, but I’ll extend the invitation to you and you can think about it.”
“Okay.”
“We have a new program starting in January. You’d go to school year-round, including summers, but we’re giving credit for those already working in the field, like you are. It’s a three-year program, instead of four, and there are some intense science classes, but it allows for less time, less cost, and a quicker turnaround for older students who also have to make a living.”
“I… Wow. That sounds amazing.” She was truly going to puke now. “I’m just not sure, Dean Winters. We close on our new house on the twenty-sixth of December and I’ve got all kinds of stuff going on. I assumed my academic career was on hold for now.”
Dean Winters sighed. “I understand. Truly. This has been an epic cluster, if you know what I mean. But we have one more incentive for you, in case you can make it work, because your résumé is quite impressive.”
“Uh-oh.” Sara tried to keep her tone light, but she was on the verge of freaking out.
“Because of the mess the computer glitch made for everyone, we’re offering you the first semester’s tuition and fees a hundred percent free.”
Sara managed not to groan aloud and be polite. “That’s very generous.”
“I’m sure you have to discuss this with your boyfriend, so how about I send everything in the mail, so you can look over the details and we can talk again first of the year?”
“That sounds fair.”
“The only thing I can say is, classes start mid-January, and while I can hold a spot for you to get through the holidays, you’ll have to be here almost immediately after you make up your mind.”
“I understand.”
“Great. Take some time to mull it over. I’ll send out the details priority mail, and we’ll talk again soon.”
“Thank you very much.” Sara hung up and sank into a chair. What the fuck was she supposed to do now? This was the last thing she’d been expecting, and to be honest, it wasn’t what she wanted at this point either. She and Aaron were building a life together, buying a house, getting serious. Not just serious, but forever serious. Dean Winters’ offer had come out of the blue and was throwing her entire life into a tailspin.
She couldn’t allow it to happen. Not again. She had a great life. She had Aaron. She had almost everything she’d ever wanted right now, and giving it up to get the only thing she didn’t have seemed ridiculous. Picking between veterinary school and Aaron was a no-brainer. She wouldn’t. She loved him and even though he hadn’t said it, he loved her. Walking away wasn’t an option, but there was no way to make this work with her in Minneapolis for the next three years. The curriculum would be grueling, so even if he came to her in the summers, she’d have very little time with him. They couldn’t make a relationship work that way and she didn’t want to lose him.
Maybe later, when he retired, she’d have time to do all the things she wanted to do, but right now, she wasn’t willing to give up the best man she’d ever known to throw herself back into a life of studying, debt, and insecurity. It was time to put down roots, whether it was here in Anchorage or she and Aaron wound up somewhere else. She’d look at the details when the packet of information came, but she was ninety-nine percent sure she’d already made up her mind.
Christmas was only a few days away and the sellers of the house had called to say they were out and already moved into their new home, so she and Aaron could start moving in ahead of the closing. They didn’t foresee any issues so Sara had picked up the keys today and was supervising while the cleaning service Aaron had hired went through and cleaned everything from top to bottom. They had painters coming on the twenty-sixth and movers on the thirtieth. Dr. Harjo was going to keep Merlin for a couple of days so they could get settled without stressing the big bird out, and then they would bring both Merlin and Mama home.
They’d decided Mama was a terrible name for the dog, so they were going to attempt to rename her Ruby. In the meantime, Aaron had given her a debit card and told her to buy everything they would need for the kitchen. She’d never shopped without a budget before and it was the most fun she’d had in ages. They were getting new appliances, too, but they would do that together as soon as he had time.
Sara hadn’t told anyone about Dean Winters’ phone call or the offer to be part of the new program in Minneapolis. Not even Dani. She was afraid to tell Aaron because part of her worried that he’d tell her to go, that they would work things out, but she knew better. This program would be three intense years of nothing but studying, and there was no way a new relationship could survive that. She’d honestly gotten to a point where she didn’t want that kind of stress anymore anyway. Maybe she was rationalizing, but it didn’t feel right. Her gut clenched painfully every time she thought about leaving Aaron, Dani, and even Niko. The allure of vet school had faded this past fall and she’d made the decision to move on.
The weird thing was that she wasn’t upset. It had been a little jarring to hear from Dean Winters, but once she’d taken some time to really think it through, she’d realized she didn’t want to go. She could be a vet technician without the hassle of intense schooling and the mountain of debt that would await her when she was done. In fact, she’d even come up with a few ways to update Dr. Harjo’s business model to help him make a lot more money without overcharging his patients. Her business degree was actually coming in handy for something and she was excited about the prospect of combining the degree she already had with her love of animals.
Her life had taken quite a detour since the earthquake, but the truth was that it was better than it had been before. Maybe she’d change her mind again in a few years, but that was okay. Not everyone had life figured out at twenty-five and her stress level had pretty much dropped to zero since she’d made the decision to forego vet school. Dean Winters’ offer had given her a temporary pause, but once she’d sorted it out in her mind, she was thrilled with her decision.
She figured she needed to sit down with Aaron and tell him everything, but they were crazy busy right now and it wasn’t a priority since she’d already made up her mind. She also didn’t want him to think it was because of him. She’d turned that aspect of it over in her mind a lot, and when it was all said and done, it was more about her sanity than anything else. For the first time as an adult, she was confident about her decisions and it was refreshing as hell.
She’d also taken care of Aaron’s Christmas present. It was going to be late, but it would be worth it. His hockey idol growing up had been New York Rangers goalie Mike Richter and she’d located a game-worn, autographed jersey. She was having it framed so he could hang it somewhere in the house
, but it had taken longer than she’d anticipated to get that done, so it wouldn’t be here by Christmas. She wasn’t going to tell him what it was and would make him wait until it arrived, but she was positive he’d love it.
They’d done their Christmas shopping together, mostly online, sending a wine and cheese basket to her parents, ordering a huge Lego set for Niko, and customizing a new sign for Dr. Harjo’s clinic that was carved by a local craftsman. Other than that, they didn’t exchange gifts with their friends and Kane and Hailey had been firm that no one buy the twins gifts because at the tender age of one, they literally had more than they needed. It would be different when they got a little older, but for now, their Christmas shopping was done.
The girls had opted for a group spa day in January as their gift to each other, so Sara had spent a chunk of her savings on Aaron’s gift. She’d been good while in Alaska, saving up for a car, putting money aside to live on while in vet school, and not accumulating any credit card debt. Now that she wasn’t worried about vet school, she was able to splurge on Aaron and maybe use the balance as a small down payment for a car. She made enough from Dani and Sergei to pay a car note, and she had a feeling Aaron wouldn’t let her pay any expenses at the house. That was another thing they had to talk about.
They had time, though. First, they had to get through the holidays and moving into the new house. There’d be plenty of time for all of that when things settled down a little.
29
Since Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were two rare back-to-back days off for Aaron during the season, he and Sara had a bunch of stuff planned to do during the day on Christmas Eve. They were going to Dani and Sergei’s that night for a fun evening of food, game playing and holiday shenanigans, so they were spending the early part of the day shopping for appliances for the kitchen. They both preferred stainless steel and it was fun going through the store picking out what they wanted. They wound up choosing a new washer and dryer as well, and though it cost a small fortune, Aaron didn’t mind. He and Joyce had never done anything like this together. She’d been all about taking care of things online without leaving the house, but doing it this way was a hell of a lot more intimate.
“So, what do we want to buy next?” he asked, looping an arm around her neck as they walked back out to his Jeep.
“Well, not today, but I need a car and now that I’m not going away to school, I can put down most of my savings up front in order to get a manageable monthly payment.”
“Don’t worry about how much it costs,” he said firmly. “I want you to have something new, reliable and good in the snow and ice. I’m gone a lot and you need to be safe.”
“Well, my budget is—”
“You’re not listening,” he said firmly. “Your budget is our budget. My budget. You’re not driving around in some ten-year-old Honda because you want to keep your payments low.”
“Aaron, we haven’t talked about bills or who’s paying for what or anything,” she protested. “I’m not looking for a sugar daddy.”
He chuckled. “We’re way past that, baby. Come on, you’ve got to have a little faith in me.”
“I’m not the kind of woman who’s going to rely on some man for everything.”
“I’m not some man,” he said gently. “I’m me and you’re you and we’re us. An us that’s been a long time in the making. We’re in this for the long haul, you know?”
Damn, he really needed to spell out how he felt, but they were walking through a mall parking lot on Christmas Eve. This wasn’t a romantic backdrop at all. He didn’t know why the words were so hard. Maybe because this time he wanted it to be forever. He’d told both Joyce and Addy he loved them and it hadn’t been true. Not the way it was now. He and Sara had something different, something special, and he needed to take special care of her.
He’d put together a proposal plan and figured he’d do it all then—tell her exactly how much he loved her, give her the ring, and tell her to start planning a summer wedding. The team would be back from their road trip the beginning of the new year and he’d do it on their first official night in the new house.
He put the Jeep in gear and headed back to the apartment.
They’d just walked in when Sara’s phone rang.
“It’s Dani,” she told him as she answered. “Hey, girl… Um, I don’t think we have any. Do you want me to run to the store… No, it’s no problem. You’ve got a houseful of people coming over, I can do that… No, really. I’ll head out now and probably have it to you within twenty minutes… Okay, see you then.” She disconnected. “Apparently, they’re out of a few things from the grocery store and Sergei is dealing with a flat tire on his truck.”
“You want me to go?” Aaron asked.
She shook her head. “No, it’ll take me half an hour, no biggie. Actually, if you want to be useful, dig out the estimate from the carpet people—it’s in that stack of papers on the counter—and look at the different styles. If we book this week, they might be able to do it in January.”
“Okay.” He kissed her and watched as she headed back out. He got a snack before tackling the stack of papers on the counter. It had been growing as they made more and more plans for the new house, but Sara seemed to have a handle on it. He picked up part of the stack and thumbed through bills, receipts for all the kitchen stuff they’d bought, and a handful of random junk mail that should’ve been thrown away. He tossed a few things and dug deeper into the pile, a few pieces fluttering to the floor. One nondescript piece of white paper caught his attention and he unfolded it, hoping this was the right one. Instead, he wasn’t sure what he was reading.
It was on letterhead from the veterinary school that had been Sara’s first choice and it appeared to be from the dean of admissions.
Dear Sara,
Per our phone conversation last week, enclosed are all the details of the program we discussed. If you can find a way to make this work, you’ll need to report to orientation on January fourteen. I appreciate the complication of the condensed timeline, but like I told you, to compensate for that, we’re offering to waive tuition and fees for this first semester.
If possible, I’ll need your decision by the second of January. I apologize again for the confusion with the rejection letter, and I look forward to speaking with you after the holidays…
Aaron read it twice and then slowly folded it back up. Why hadn’t Sara told him about this? Reality hit him hard and he sat down, shaking his head. There had been some kind of confusion with the rejection letter, which meant she’d actually been accepted, and for whatever reason, she hadn’t told him about it. The only explanation for that was that she’d decided not to go. Because of him. He’d rushed into moving her in, buying a house, and everything else, so she was backed against a wall and was giving up her dream for him, which was the last thing he wanted for her.
“Sonofabitch.” He said the word out loud and shook his head.
Since Sara had obviously gone out of her way to hide this from him, she wasn’t planning to let him have a say in the matter, and that bothered him. He understood why, since they had a lot going on, and backpedaling now would make things super complicated, but her future was important. He’d had his career and it was a fantastic one, so it was only fair that she had a shot at hers too. The problem would be convincing her of that. Now that they were together, she wasn’t going to just pack up and leave. So he was going to have to make a decision about what to do, and then do the unthinkable: he was going to have to dump her.
Christmas Eve was a blast. Dani and Sergei had put together a fantastic celebration, complete with drinking games that had them all practically falling all over themselves laughing. Sara looked happier than he’d ever seen her and a pang of guilt washed over him as he thought about what he had to do. He couldn’t talk to anyone about it or one of his well-meaning buddies might talk him out of it, but this wasn’t about him. It was about her. Doing what was right. Someday, she’d thank him. Hopefully, in a couple of y
ears she’d forgive him enough to give them another chance. In the meantime, he would take the heat and let everyone think he was just an immature asshole who didn’t appreciate what he had.
“Hey.” Jake joined him at the bar as he made himself a cocktail. He usually didn’t indulge in anything but lite beer during the season, but Christmas was an exception. Especially now.
“Hey.” He didn’t look at his closest friend because Jake knew him well enough to know when something was bothering him and he wasn’t going there on Christmas. There would be plenty of time for it once Sara was gone.
“You’re kind of quiet tonight. Everything okay?”
“Everything’s great. Just spent a year’s salary on kitchen appliances, so my wallet’s a little lighter, but it’s all good.”
Jake nodded. “Yeah, new houses get expensive, but it’ll be worth it. Did you get the ring?”
Aaron shrugged. “It’s ordered, but you know, I might wait a year. I mean, between the house and the appliances and having her move in, I don’t know if I can swing a big wedding too.”
Jake frowned. “Seriously? A week ago you were ready to march her down the aisle.”
“I was excited, but now reality is setting in and I’m slowing down. You know how it is.”
“I think you’re doing what you do and you need to stop. Look over there.” He motioned with his head at where Whitney, Sara, Dani, and Hailey were laughing about something. Sara was in that gorgeous red dress and looked strikingly beautiful tonight. She and Hailey were the brunette counterparts to Whitney and Dani’s blond coloring, and it was striking to watch the four of them together.
“What am I looking at?” he grumbled.
“You’re looking at four incredibly strong, intelligent, independent women. Who happen to love dumbass jocks like us. They’re fucking amazing—and they love us. Whatever you’re thinking, or worrying about, knock it off because you will never find another girl like her, who fits in with us here in Anchorage, and who makes your life better.”
