“That’s what I want,” she managed to say but the conversation was all too much. She’d said too much. “For me and Danny.”
He looked up then, his blue eyes locking with hers, then got busy eating.
They clearly both needed a break from how personal this had gotten.
“So things are better between your mom and your aunt?” he asked.
“Not really. They’re doing things together for the sake of me and Evie, but I hear the under-the-breath snipes and see the looks.”
“What do you think started it? You said it had to do with something on the mountain the day Danny went missing?”
“I think they both blamed each other. Danny was walking with them, behind me and my cousin Daphne, and then he was gone. But they won’t say why they blame each other. I can’t see how they can. They were both walking with him and watching after him as he toddled along. He was only twenty-four months then.”
“Think this week will help repair the relationship?” he asked.
“I hope so. When I see them like this, it makes me realize this could happen between me and Evie—and she’s my best friend. Just like Mom and Tabby were best friends. I hate to think of anything coming between us for months.”
When the waiter appeared to clear their plates, Sadie hadn’t realized they’d finished practically every bite. Moments later, he appeared with two desserts on the house, thanks to Manuela. Sadie was stuffed but she couldn’t resist a sopaipilla with its cinnamon sugar and a bite or three of the cheesecake flan.
Conversation during dessert and two cups of coffee each had turned to their favorite desserts and then favorites in general. Sadie discovered that Axel was a french fry addict and could eat turkey and provolone sandwiches on French bread every day for lunch and pretty much did. He loved Marvel and DC movies and Westerns. He liked the color orange. His favorite season was summer, same as Sadie’s.
I want to kiss you, she thought as he reminisced about Flash the goat, his favorite childhood pet.
After goodbyes and hugs to Manuela, they were back in his SUV. Sadie was again so aware of him so close beside her that she started rambling. “So who’s your favorite superhero?” she asked. “Let me guess. Iron Man. No, Captain America.”
“Neither,” he said with a smile, turning toward her. “My favorite superhero is Zul, the flying lion.”
Before she could stop herself, she reached a hand to his face, too touched to speak, and he leaned over just slightly and kissed her gently on her lips. Mmm. She kissed him back and suddenly their hands were everywhere, hers on his rock-hard chest, wishing she could undo some buttons and feel his bare skin, his hands on her neck, in her hair. He was definitely her favorite kisser. That was for sure.
Even the thought of marriage makes me feel like the air is squeezing out of me.
Oh foo. This kiss had to end. Now. She couldn’t get carried away with Axel “Marriage Is Suffocation” Dawson.
She pulled back. “As much as I want to keep doing that, you heard me say tonight that I’m looking for someone to love me and my son fiercely. You’re not that guy.”
He stared at her but didn’t say anything. She’d rather have a firm You’re right, I’m not than his silence. She’d actually prefer a You’re so wrong, I’m already crazy about you so let’s forget the past and start anew with how we feel right now.
But he didn’t say that either, of course. He just covered her hand with his for a second to say he understood and then nodded and started the SUV.
* * *
Axel liked how forthright Sadie was. He’d liked kissing her even more. They’d gone out tonight to escape her family’s closing in on them, and instead, he walked right into his family’s closing in on him. Between Manuela’s stories and everything he’d said at dinner, Axel had felt off-kilter as they’d gotten into the SUV to head to the ranch.
And he was including that lighthearted dessert conversation of their favorites. He’d been charmed and amused and touched by Sadie and the stories about her favorites. Butter pecan was her favorite flavor of ice cream because she’d tried it for the first time the day before her great-grandpa had passed away and it always reminded her of how sweet and loving he’d been. She loved romantic comedies and tearjerkers, and had seen the movie 9 to 5 with her favorite singer, Dolly Parton, at least twenty-five times and credited it for making her laugh through her divorce.
She loved Pink Lady apples and the color teal and being near bodies of water, whether the ocean or a pond. And her favorite person, her very favorite of all favorite people, was her son, Danny.
His head and chest and every part of him had been so full of Sadie Winston by the time they’d gotten from the restaurant into his car that he’d been dying to kiss her. When she’d touched him, put her hand to his face, he couldn’t resist the overwhelming urge, and as he leaned toward her, she leaned toward him, and whammo. A kiss that had exploded in his head.
Then it ended all too soon. But Sadie was right. She was looking for something real. And he was Status Quo Axel and liking it that way. Needing it that way. His head was in a good place right now and he wasn’t about to muck that up when it had taken so long to get here.
Sadie’s phone pinged, and she fished it out of her purse.
He caught her expression change as she read it. “Everything okay?”
“Actually, no. My mom says that Vanessa and Izzy are both sneezing and coughing up a storm. She thinks we should get Danny and stay at your house for a couple of days till they’re not contagious. She’ll take care of them, she says.”
Wait. Sadie and Danny—in his house? Staying with him? For a couple of days?
“I’m sure we can stay in the lodge, right?” Sadie asked. “I’ll text Daisy.”
“There aren’t guest rooms in the lodge. Just the couches in the main room. Of course you two will stay with me. We have extra buggies, so I’ll borrow one for you so you can get back and forth to the action as you want.”
She bit her lip and stared at her phone screen. Then she looked out the window. “I don’t know, Axel. Things got kinda hot and heavy before. How are we going to share your house for an hour, let alone a day or two?”
“I won’t let my lips get anywhere near yours,” he said. He held up two fingers. “Scout’s honor. And you know I was an Eagle Scout.”
She tilted her head. “Your dad helped with that accomplishment?”
“Actually, a time or two when he was around and alert. My oldest brother helped the most. I’d call Ford and he’d ask his mom to drive him over for a couple of hours.”
“That’s really nice,” she said. She bit her lip again. “Well, if you’re sure you don’t mind having us at your home. Danny wakes up early. And sometimes he still wakes up during the night.”
“No problem,” he said.
Or was it?
Chapter Seven
They’d stopped at Sadie’s cabin to pick up her and Danny’s suitcases—which her mother had already packed so that Sadie and Axel wouldn’t have to come in and risk the flu or whatever virus had befallen poor Izzy and Vanessa. Both women had bad colds, and Axel’s sister had already dropped off two get-well baskets of OTC medicine, throat lozenges, boxes of tissues, fuzzy socks and crossword magazines. Daisy had even instructed a ranch hand to drop off three trays of dinner earlier, and the cabin was already equipped with an electric kettle, mugs and tea.
Axel had surprised Sadie and her mom on the porch of the cabin when he told them there was no need to take the porta-crib because he not only had a crib upstairs in the guest room for his visiting baby niece and nephews but also a playpen downstairs in the living room along with various other baby stuff, like a foam play mat and kiddie area in one corner with toys that were probably too young for Danny but that he’d love nonetheless.
“Well,” Vanessa had said with a huge smile. “Danny will fit right in ove
r there.”
Axel had barely flinched at that, aware of many sets of eyes on him.
Danny was thrilled by the idea of going to Axel’s house. And he was practically jumping in his seat when Axel mentioned that Danny could pet his sweet, friendly dog named Dude if he wanted but only if a grown-up was there.
Fifteen minutes later, settled in the cabin, Danny petted Dude over and over and told him a few stories in toddler speak that Axel couldn’t make heads or tails out of, but Sadie seemed to understand every word. Then Danny moved over to the play mat in the corner by the window, where there were stuffed toys and cardboard building blocks. Sadie explained that Danny was building a castle for his superhero lion.
“How high are you going to make it?” Axel asked, sitting cross-legged on the big foam mat. “As tall as you are?”
“Tall you!” Danny said, then doubled over in laughter. Toddler humor.
Danny’s laughter was infectious, and both Axel and Sadie were laughing, too. Axel was aware of Sadie watching them from the big brown leather couch that faced the stone fireplace. She was sitting in his favorite spot, the left-hand corner. He suddenly wanted to be sitting right next to her. No, he wanted her on his lap, straddling him, kissing him the way she had in his car, her hands in his hair.
She’d nixed any chance of that—wisely—so keep this G-rated, he reminded himself. Focus on the kid, not the mother.
“You’re gonna make the castle as tall as I am?” Axel asked Danny. “That is tall.”
“Zul help?” Danny asked, tilting his head, his hazel-brown eyes wide.
The expression on the adorable little boy’s face almost did Axel in with his sweet earnestness. “Of course I’ll help.”
“Hear-wo,” Danny said, smiling. “Right, Mama?”
Oh, God. Now he was done in. He wanted to scoop up this kid and give him a big hug. He couldn’t look at Danny Winston without remembering the relief he’d felt when he’d followed Dude and spotted the orange sneaker through that thicket of branches. Danny was soothing to be around, even if his occasional high-pitched shrieks could crack double-pane glass.
“Right, Danny,” Sadie said with a nod.
Axel kept his gaze on the growing tower of blocks.
Danny yawned and rubbed his eyes, then added another block to the tower.
“It’s almost eight o’clock,” Sadie said. “His bedtime is seven thirty, but my mom said he took an extralong nap this afternoon. I’d better get him to sleep.”
“Time for bed, buddy,” Axel said, giving Danny’s blond hair a ruffle.
Danny yawned again. “Zul story?” he asked, looking between his mom and Axel.
He looked at Sadie. “He wants me to read him a story?” he asked.
Sadie nodded. “My mom said she packed a few of his favorites. He likes the same ones over and over.”
“Sure, I’ll read you a story,” Axel said.
Danny held out his arms to Axel, and he swallowed. He wasn’t expecting that.
“I’ll take you up to bed,” Sadie said fast, bolting up. “You’re going to sleep in Axel’s special nursery.”
“Zul, Zul!” Danny said, hoisting his arms up toward Axel.
“I don’t mind,” he whispered to Sadie and then scooped the boy up. “Okay, let’s head to bed.”
“Zul, too?” Danny asked, looking around. He pointed by the blocks.
His superhero lion lay on the mat beside his castle. Sadie got it and handed it to her son.
“Zul and Zul!” Danny said with glee, flying the lion in his red cape as far as his little arm would allow.
Axel smiled and started up the stairs, Sadie following. He set the boy on the changing table and let his mom get him ready for bed in his spaceship pajamas, then Sadie brought him to the bathroom they’d share for brushing teeth. A few minutes later, Danny came running in with Zul and lifted his arms to Axel. He picked up the boy and sat in the padded rocking chair by the window, and Sadie handed him a picture book.
“Let’s see,” Axel said. “This book is called Snowy the Owl. I love owls, too.”
Danny shook his head and waved Zul at Axel. “Story Zul.”
Axel was beginning to speak toddler. “Ah, you want a story about Zul the superhero lion?”
Danny nodded and settled in, his head in the crook of Axel’s arm, the baby-shampoo scent of him rising up. A pang gripped him in the chest, and he had a flash of the woman he’d loved three years ago sitting in a rocker and reading a story to her baby. Axel had been so attracted to Lizzie, a single mother of an eleven-month-old baby girl, maybe mistaking that for love, and when she’d left him for a bull rider, he’d been out of sorts for months, missing her, missing the baby he’d gotten close to. That was when he’d stopped dating single mothers. It was when he’d stopped dating with an eye toward a future, period. The way he’d felt about Lizzie and her daughter had superseded all the usual reasons he’d never gotten seriously involved with a woman—his upbringing, his cynicism, his lack of faith in people. And then wham, all those walls had built back up even stronger.
Now here he was, sitting on a rocker with a little baby-shampoo-scented kid on his lap, about to make up a story about a superhero lion named after him. This had gotten out of hand.
Whoa, he told himself. Dial back the intensity. It’s a story. You’re doing Sadie a favor so she and her son don’t get sick. You and Sadie already agreed there would be no more kissing. Don’t make this into more than it is.
Talking-to over, he cleared his throat.
But it already was more because he recognized that what he felt for Sadie Winston was a lot more than lust.
He cleared his throat again and glanced up at Sadie, leaning against the doorway. Waiting.
“Once upon a time, there was a superhero lion named Zul,” Axel began.
Danny’s eyes were wide on his. So far, so good.
“Zul flew all over the place looking for animals and kids who needed help. One day, Zul saw a little owl who couldn’t get back in his nest.”
“Oh no!” Danny yelped.
“Don’t worry,” Axel assured him. “Because Zul was there!”
“Yay, Zul!” Danny said, flying Zul around until a yawn had his arm drooping with his eyes.
“Zul said, ‘Hey little owl, hang on to my cape and I’ll land you right in your nest.’ And Zul did. The little owl was very happy to be home. Zul flew away, his red cape zipping behind, looking to be helpful. The end.”
Danny’s eyes drooped again, then opened, then drooped hard. A moment later, he managed to get them half-opened, then they closed.
“Good night, little buddy,” Axel whispered. There. He’d gotten through this unscathed. He’d told the boy a story and Axel’s world hadn’t imploded. Mother and child didn’t have to affect him if he didn’t let them.
A few years ago, not long after he’d gotten his heart handed to him by Lizzie, he’d run into Mack, a widowed, grizzled mountain man who’d lived alone for decades in a small cabin he’d built himself. Out of nowhere, the man had said to Axel, finger waving, “I’ll tell ya the secret of life, buddy boy. It’s ruling your emotions instead of letting them rule you. Be the boss of yourself.” Axel had thought that was excellent life advice, not that the mountain man seemed too emotionally healthy and the rangers checked in on him a few times a week. A grown son had been trying to get him to agree to go into assisted living and Mack had put up a fuss, but Axel had heard he’d finally agreed.
He glanced at Sadie, who seemed very affected. She was staring at him, and he could swear she might cry.
He carefully stood and walked over to the crib and lowered Danny in, putting Zul under his arm. “Success,” he whispered to Sadie. Her eyes were misty. “You okay?”
“You’re the first man besides his grandpa to tell Danny a story,” she said. “It’s very sweet to watch someone t
ell your baby a story—especially off the cuff. Guess I got a little emotional.”
Ah, okay. It was a mother thing and not a him thing. Phew. Sadie turned out the light and they left the room, leaving the door ajar.
“Well, I think I’m ready for bed myself,” she said, yawning what had to be the fakest yawn he’d ever seen.
She needed some space from him and this—he got it. He did, too.
But he could barely drag his eyes off her, let alone make his body move farther from hers. If he was honest with himself, he’d admit to wanting to sit with her and talk or watch a movie and eat popcorn. And yes, he wanted to kiss her. More than kiss her.
“If you need anything, just knock,” he said, knowing that distance from her was exactly what he needed.
She gave him something of a smile. “Good night,” she said. “Thanks for dinner. And for letting us stay here. And for the story.”
“My pleasure,” he said, holding her gaze. “Pleasant dreams,” he added like his grandparents always used to when he was young.
Watching her walk away was so damned hard.
* * *
An hour later, Axel lay on his bed, hands folded behind his head, staring at the beamed ceiling. His thoughts were a jumble of everything that had happened that night. The Mexican restaurant. Manuela. The text from Sadie’s mom about her and Danny needing to stay at his cabin. Playing with Danny and reading to him. Being so attracted to Sadie that he could barely think of anything without her popping into his mind every five seconds. Her face, her long light blond hair, her pale brown eyes. Her pink lips.
He could not start something with Sadie that wouldn’t end with what she wanted; he wouldn’t do that to her. She wanted her Mr. Right. He wanted nothing to do with emotional involvement. He was done with love and commitment and caring too much. Yeah, yeah, it had been three years since he had his heart torn out of his chest, but he felt nowhere close to wanting a relationship. Maybe one day the feeling would go away. He had no idea. He knew the idea of getting seriously involved with someone, particularly someone with a child, gave him that airless feeling in his chest.
A Family for a Week Page 8
