by Karen Ferry
“Come in,” I called out softly.
When he peeked his head inside, I attempted a smile but when the rest of his body came into my line of sight, my mouth popped open in shock.
Bare-chested, small droplets of water clung to his skin, making my mouth water at the sight of his chiseled abs, but when my eyes locked in on the towel wrapped around his lower body, I swallowed hard.
I’d had sex with a couple of guys before, but none of them had had a body as glorious as Ethan’s. Despite having muscles, he was not bulky in any way. Lean and toned, with a six-pack that made me want to shake my fist at the heavens, demanding an explanation for putting temptation in my path, and finally, a narrow, dark-haired happy trail that disappeared down…oh, lord, my eyes landed on his crotch hidden behind the towel. I could practically hear the crackling as my brain short-circuited.
Immediately, I lifted my head, determined to get my befuddled brain to start up again.
“What do you want?” I squeaked as Ethan opened his mouth.
He frowned at me.
“Are you all right?”
“Yes,” I squawked.
The frown deepened.
“You sound like a mouse.”
I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Do not. Sore throat,” I lied as I watched him move closer toward me.
A small smile played on his lips.
“Why are you so flushed?” he asked.
I lifted a hand to my cheek and felt like I’d been burned. What girl wouldn’t drool when they found a hot-as-fuck, half-naked man in her bedroom?
Oh, wait.
Why was Ethan here?
“Is there a reason you’re here?” I tried again now that I remembered the absurdity of the situation. “And half-naked?”
Pointedly I looked down and he grabbed a tight hold on the knot, preventing the towel from slipping.
“Sorry,” he grinned, “I was wondering if you have a spare toothbrush?”
“Oh.” His answer was entirely different than the one I’d imagined, but now that my brain had ceased short-circuiting, I felt the tension leave my shoulders and I bounced from the bed. “I think I can find one.” I smiled quickly as I passed him, taking care not to touch any part of him.
“Thanks.”
I turned right at my bedroom and walked down the narrow hallway, past the guest bedroom and stopped in front of the bathroom before switching on the light.
I stopped at the cabinet above the sink and reached up but then froze on the spot when I felt something warm brush my back.
“Here, let me get it for you,” Ethan murmured. My eyes flew to the mirror, watching his every move. I nearly whimpered when his abs flexed as he opened the cabinet, but tried to disguise it with a light cough. Ethan frowned again.
“Are you sure you’re all right?”
All I could do was give him another nod. My tongue was tied up in knots and I felt heat between my legs that I needed to see to soon. If I didn’t, I’d go insane.
“Look, I…” he started but then bit his lip.
“Yes?”
As if he was pulling himself out of a trance, he shook his head and took a step away, his arm leaning against the doorway, thus boxing me in. The shutters were back in his eyes as he scanned me from top to toe, making me wish I’d chosen a safe, boring pair of pajamas for bed than the short, white nightgown with a deep V-neck that made my boobs a bit more visible than I was comfortable with. But laundry day wasn’t until tomorrow, so it was all I’d had to wear tonight.
“Nothing. Just tired, I guess.” His voice was deeper than before with a hint of growl in it that I couldn’t remember hearing before – but I liked it.
Snap out of it.
“Ah,” I mumbled and glanced down at my bare feet. “Me, too. It’s been a long day.”
“Were you really out on a date like Frederik said?”
The change in topic confused me. I raised my eyes.
“Yes. But, like I already told him, it was a complete failure. Why?”
He shrugged.
“Just didn’t know you were dating.”
“I’m not, not really.” I dragged in a deep breath. “It’d be stupid to start seeing someone just before I leave, don’t you think?”
There it was again, that line between his eyes that I wanted to erase. But I didn’t have the right.
“Yeah.”
I wanted to ask him if he was seeing someone special – it was on the tip of my tongue, waiting for me to ask him, but in the end, I chickened out.
“Well, um…Is there anything else you need?”
His eyes flashed briefly with heat, but he averted his gaze and shook his head.
“No, thanks. But…”
“But?”
He looked up, and the anguish in his eyes made me long to wrap my arms around him, telling him that no matter what, everything would be all right.
“I’m so sorry, Pen.”
“For what?”
“For staying away so long. I…I’ve missed you. I’ve missed the way we were together – our friendship, I mean. Most of all, I’m sorry I’ve hurt you by keeping my distance.” He raised his hand and placed his palm on my cheek, his eyes boring into mine. “I guess it hit me hard, seeing you again tonight, and I just want you to know that if I could turn back the clock – go back in time – I would.”
My breaths came out in short spurts of air, my nipples almost grazing his chest, and when his eyes flickered down to my lips, my tongue slicked out to wet them.
“I forgive you, Ethan,” I whispered, my voice hoarse.
The heat returned to his eyes for a moment, but then he released my chin. I must’ve imagined the burn because when he gave me a crooked smile, he looked the same as before – friendly, yet detached.
“Thank you.”
Nodding, I took a step closer and tilted my head at his arm still blocking my way out.
“Let me go?” I whispered. I didn’t know where that had come from, and I grimaced as soon as the words left my mouth.
“I…” he sighed, and again stopped. My gaze flickered down to his bare chest, captivated once more by the droplets of water. The throbbing between my legs intensified, leaving me lightheaded with need. If I didn’t leave now, I’d do or say something that neither of us would ever come back from. I ducked underneath his arm, escape and the toy in my desk drawer the only things occupying my mind.
“Goodnight,” I called out as I almost ran down to my bedroom.
“Goodnight.”
I shut my bedroom door, twisting the lock, before I turned out the lights and jumped on my bed. Keeping my mouth shut tight, I did the only thing that I’d already been doing for years that would make me fall asleep.
I made myself come with thoughts about Ethan. I used my imagination and disappeared into a world of bliss and heat, but this time, I promised myself that it would be the last time.
“Morning!”
I skipped into the kitchen and found Gramps at the kitchen island, reading the local newspaper.
“Morning, girl,” he mumbled, clearly absorbed reading if the frown between his eyebrows was anything to go by. Amused, I gently pushed his glassed tilting precariously up his nose. He nodded once in thanks, and I went to the coffee pot on the counter. I reached for my favorite mug from the cabinet above that said, Blogging Is Sexy and poured a hefty amount and a dab of coffee creamer. The scent teased my nostrils, and after I’d had my first sip, I immediately felt like a human instead of a hag.
Wondering where Ethan was, I went back to Gramps and pulled out a chair.
“Where’s our dog whisperer?” I asked.
“He went back to Blacksburg already,” he mumbled, peeking his head over the newspaper. “He said he already told you goodbye?”
I bristled. Ethan had snuck away during the night. Well, all right, at the early hours of the morning, but why would he do that? I thought we’d decided to turn the page and start over last night.
“Hmm,” he hummed and then disappeared again, ruffling the paper.
Wise Gramps.
“He made crepes before he left, though. There’s probably enough to feed an army.”
I looked at the covered plate next to the stove and then down at the empty plate before me. My stomach growled like mad, and I knew I couldn’t resist the sweet temptation for long.
“That was nice of him.”
“Hmm,” Gramps hummed again. “They’re your favorite, too.”
Frowning, I stepped down from my seat and went to examine them. Warmth settled in my bones when I opened the lid to take in the fluffy crepes. A mountain of strawberries sprinkled with powdered sugar met my gaze, but as soon as my eyes fell on the note next to them, a disbelieving huff fell from my lips.
You need more meat on your bones, Pippa. Can’t have you looking like sticks and bones anymore.
/Ethan.
“What the hell?” I gasped. I snatched the note, ready to tear it to pieces, but I hesitated when I saw the cell number scribbled at the bottom.
“What’s that?”
“Nothing.” I looked back at Gramps. “Just a bad joke,” I offered lamely and waved the note in my hand.
Resolutely, I pulled out my iPhone from the back pocket of my jeans and fired off a quick text.
Me: I am not stick and bones, thank you very much. I’m petite. There’s a difference. If you knew anything about women, you’d know that, too.
Satisfied, I fetched my plate and got down to business, checking for new ideas for my Pinterest boards while I ate. My blog was all over the place, covering everything between DIY beauty products to fashion and handmade jewelry; the blog reflected me – a woman who had trouble deciding on a career – but despite the haphazard things I posted, I had a large following, which made me believe that a lot of women appreciated, even understood, why I hadn’t settled on a niche just yet. Secretly, I hoped it was because they could relate to me, and it soothed me when I had my moments of doubt and insecurity.
A text message ten minutes later interrupted me, and I picked up my phone.
Ethan: Look up petite in Webster’s, Penelope. Then you’ll know I’m right.
Frowning, I shook my head and then looked down at my waist. I had to admit my jeans were a bit baggier around me than usual, but I liked it. Sort of.
My phone vibrated in my hand and I looked back at the screen.
Ethan: I’m waiting.
Huffing, I pulled up Google, found the website to Webster’s Online Dictionary and typed in petite in the search bar. I swallowed the strawberries when I read the answer:
Definition of petite: having a small figure – usually used of a woman.
“What is he on about?” I mumbled, confused and quickly sent him a reply.
Me: I did.
I stared intently at the screen as I saw the bubbles pop up, indicating he was typing a response.
Ethan: Then you’ll know that while you used to be petite, you’re now too skinny.
I felt a flush creep up my neck and I’m sure there was steam coming out of my ears. Or, that’s what it felt like – that’s how angry I was.
Me: 1) NEVER tell a woman what she should or shouldn’t eat. 2) How dare you be so rude? 3) Goodbye.
I placed my phone on the table facedown, angered to the point of diabolical. With jerky movements, I forked a piece of crepes, pushed it in my mouth and chewed furiously. I was so furious, I couldn’t even appreciate how delicious they were.
“Eat up,” Gramps grumbled next to me. “You need more meat on your bones.”
I nearly choked on another strawberry.
“Are you and Ethan going to order me to eat all the time now?” I spluttered. “That is not cool, Gramps. Not cool at all.”
As if my outburst didn’t ruffle his feathers at all – and I was sure it didn’t – he folded the newspaper and calmly took a sip of his coffee before he turned his head to look at me.
“You’ve been looking tired and haggard for a while now, Penelope,” he started, making my anger dwindle to dust at once. “If you’re going travelling, you need all the energy you can get. So, please keep our concern in mind for the next month, please.”
With that, he moved to get down from his chair but I sprang from my seat, resentment and hurt momentarily forgotten, while I helped him settle in his wheelchair.
He groaned as he sat back, and I peered down at him.
“You all right, Gramps?” I asked as I took in his pallor.
“Fine, fine,” he grumbled. “I need to call Arnold. I’ll be in the library.”
I opened my mouth, but my words were snuffed out when my phone started to ring. I went to pick it up, and when I saw Ethan’s number flashing at me, I sighed and swiped the screen.
“Look,” I started, “Gramps has already given me grief about not eating properly, so please don’t start as well.”
“For the record,” he laughed, “I don’t make it a tendency to tell women what they can or can’t eat. That’s not what this is about. Frederik told me last night that you’ve been trying to lose weight for a while – something that is not necessary, by the way – and he expressed his concern.”
“But I…”
“Not done.”
I blinked in shock at the low command.
“Second, implying that I know nothing about women is very rude as well, but since I insulted you first, I’ll forgive you for that one.”
“Excuse me?” I snapped.
“Still not done, Penelope,” he grumbled. “Last point – telling me goodbye via text messaging? Really? How very mature of you.”
My breaths came out in puffs and I was so angry, red spots disrupted my line of sight.
“If you were here right now,” I seethed, my voice deadly calm, “I would kick your balls so hard, your very manly voice would turn into falsetto for the next decade.”
I didn’t wait for his reply but hung up. Closing my eyes, I rubbed my temples and counted to thirty. Once I felt calmer, I went to the library.
“I’m heading out. Back in a couple of hours.”
I didn’t wait for Gramps to answer me back, but turned around on my heels, grabbed my jacket and keys, and left the house.
It was only eleven a.m., but I was in need of a cocktail and girl talk.
5
Goodbyes Suck
Ella and I had met at college when we shared a dorm, and I’d liked her immediately. Her no-fucks-given attitude and honesty had been refreshing and living with her had turned those years into some of the best of my life. We’d ended up the best of friends, and when we realized we both had family in Charlottesville, life became even sweeter. We took turns visiting and getting to know each other’s families during breaks, and my parents adored her. Once Ella had moved here permanently after she’d gotten her degree in journalism, we met up at least once a week, sometimes more often. The funny thing about her was that she changed hair color and style so often, I never quite knew what to expect when we met up. Lately, though, her wild days dyeing her hair all the colors of the rainbow seemed to have given way to a more classic and discreet style, and it made me wonder if she had decided to grow up at last. These days, she was sporting a cute, layered bob that made her naturally raven colored hair – a gift from the Asian part of her ancestry – shine in the sun.
I had just finished my angry tirade to her at our favorite place to meet up – a cute, relaxed café and bakery on Rose Hill Drive – while binge eating their delicious buttermilk pancakes with strawberries and drinking my second hot cocoa. Wisely, she’d veered off my initial idea of going to a bar to get plastered – which, I admitted, hadn’t been my best idea to begin with – and I was exhausted.
“What?” I asked when she frowned, her hazel eyes cautious.
She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Right, my turn to talk.”
<
br /> I waved my hand at her, silently telling her to go ahead.
“Okay, so Ethan was a douche canoe for saying those things, but bottom line is that he and your Gramps are right, Pippa.”
My eyes bulged.
“What? I’m not skin and bones!” I exclaimed.
She tilted her head at me.
“No, you’re not, but you’ve been dropping weight for the past few months, and I hate to say it, girl, it’s not looking good on you.”
Shocked, I sat back in my chair.
“I can’t believe you’re telling me this,” I muttered. “You’re my friend.”
“And as your friend, it’s my job to tell you the truth, even when it hurts.”
She leaned closer toward me and grabbed my hand.
“I’m not saying it to hurt you,” she continued, “but you have to start taking care of yourself. You’ve been running yourself ragged the last few months, preparing for your trip, taking care of your grandfather, and running your blog while working at your Dad’s firm all at the same time.” She squeezed my hand when my gaze drifted away. “You have to find a balance, Pippa.”
I nodded as I took her words to heart.
“Being driven is good,” Ella whispered, “but it’s not worth making yourself ill over. Nothing is.”
Sighing, I nodded again before meeting her gaze.
“You’re right,” I whispered back. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” she huffed. “Just promise me you’ll be careful and start eating regular meals again.”
“I do tend to forget the time when I feel passionate about things.” I grinned weakly at her. “Guess there’s nothing like a brutal wake-up call to make you realize you’ve been a fool.”
She winked at me and released my hand.
“Glad to help.”
I looked out the window and we people watched for a while. I was grateful that Ella let me alone with my thoughts and now that she’d had her say, I couldn’t believe how stupid I’d been, failing to give my body the nourishment it clearly needed.
