by Karen Ferry
“Callum,” I untucked my T-shirt and pulled it over my head. “It’s time I quit, you know that.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, I know. It’s the same for almost every performer here – at some point, most of them quit. Still, the clicks we get on your profile whenever we post something new?” He waggled his eyebrows at me. “Subscribers love you, man. Both the women and the men.”
I chuckled and unzipped my pants. “Sorry, but this was always only going to be temporary.”
“Right, right.”
When he lingered but kept silent, I raised my eyebrows at him. “Anything on your mind?”
“Off the record…is something going on between you and Astrid that’s going to cause the firm any problems?”
I laughed and shook my head. “Definitely not. Why, has she implied otherwise?”
He pursed his lips. “Nah, just a feeling I got from when she was at my party last week. She talked a lot about you, that’s all. And from what I can tell, she’s the one who invited all these people to come see your last performance.”
Unease prickled at my scalp and I frowned at him. “She did what?”
He looked down, but I still managed to catch the grimace.
“Yeah, I know. I’ll talk to her, get her to move everybody out before we start.”
Grateful, I nodded. “I’m not into Astrid, Callum. We’re friends, but that’s it.”
He raised his head and the suspicion in them made me want to find Astrid right away and tell her to set him straight. I didn’t like it.
“You sure she knows that? Because from I’ve heard, she’d like to be more than just friends, Ethan.”
I huffed, annoyed that he wouldn’t let it go. “Look, I respect you a fuckuva lot, Callum – hell, I think of you as a friend – but you should know that I’m involved with someone else. Someone I’ve waited my whole life for. That’s partly the reason this is my last shoot.”
“Really?” He blinked, clearly surprised by my admission.
I couldn’t fault him for that; it was rare I opened up to him.
“Why’s that such a surprise?” I grumbled and pulled a pair of black boxers from my locker.
He chuckled. “You’ve always given off the vibe that you’re, I don’t know…a lone wolf or something.”
I grimaced at the image. “Hardly.”
“She must be pretty special if you’re giving up this gig,” he mused and scratched his chin.
I didn’t fall for his bait but couldn’t stop my lips from pulling up in a small smile.
“She’s my world,” I muttered.
Silence filled the room for a beat until he burst out in loud laughter.
“Man, you sound so, I don’t know? In love. Are you in love with her?”
I wanted to say yes, but I didn’t. I didn’t want the first person to know I was in love with her to be someone other than Penelope. Instead, I shrugged and pushed down my pants, not caring in the least about being naked in front of him. “Maybe I am, but it’s the truth.”
We both fell quiet as I finished getting ready.
“So, I guess this is it, huh?” Callum said, now in a somber mood, when I closed the locker.
“I guess so. But we’ll still see each other, right?”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah.”
Somehow, I didn’t believe him, but I didn’t have time for a heart-to-heart. I wanted this scene over and done with. I wanted to close the door to this part of my life and move on.
I took a deep breath and ran a hand through my scruff. “You better clear the room, but first?” I grinned at him. “Can you tell me what I’m supposed to do today?”
He straightened from his place next to me. “Sure. It’s a short scene, but chicks dig it when you jerk off, so if you do that and manage to keep it up until I give you the sign to shoot your cum, that’ll be that.”
I shook my head at his candor. “An oldie but goldie.”
He flashed a grin before he turned around. “Sometimes, it’s better to stick with the classics.”
It wasn’t until after I’d showered and got dressed that I turned on my cell and found Penelope’s texts waiting for me.
Penelope: They know about us. xo
“Shit.”
“What is it?” Callum stopped next to me, camera hanging down his chest.
I shook my head and forced a smile on my lips.
“Nothing, just something I’d forgotten.”
He narrowed his eyes at me, but nodded and left me alone. Sighing, I reached for the few items I’d been keeping at my locker at Privé and put them in my work-out bag. I didn’t know why I ever thought that asking Penelope to keep us a secret was a good idea, because I should’ve known better.
Her honesty was one of the million things I loved about her.
And maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that the Montgomerys had been let in on our relationship. I didn’t really want a lie to hang over our heads so early on in our relationship. That’s when it struck me that it was time I needed to tell Penelope about Privé. That I couldn’t, nor shouldn’t, hide it from her anymore.
I’d told her about my parents – my biggest secret and regret – so how hard could it be to reveal this part of my life to her?
My thoughts were interrupted when the scent of Astrid’s signature perfume – something flowery mixed with vanilla, so different from my girl’s clean scent – filled my nostrils, and I gritted my teeth when I felt her hand on my shoulder.
“Hey, handsome. Whatcha doing tonight?”
I zipped my bag and peered down at her. “Not much.”
She smiled as she leaned up to give me a kiss, but I took a step away, so her lips missed my lips, landing on my chin instead. “Cut it out, Astrid.”
Her eyes didn’t lose their playfulness. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry we won’t be working together anymore, Ethan. We were good together.”
I nodded. “Yeah, but you know what they say – all good things must come to an end. Besides,” I closed the locker and turned to face her, “you’ll fit so much better with a different partner than me.”
That caused her to frown. “What do you mean?”
“Just that your level of kink was never my thing.” I smiled gently at her. “You need to find someone who fits you so much better than me, babe.” I hoped she got the double meaning of my words, because even though she didn’t seem to get my brush-offs, she had to know we’d never be right for each other. We’d worked together so many times, and I respected her – she deserved the truth as well.
She took a deep breath, her hand falling from my shoulder. “Maybe you’re wrong, Ethan. Maybe you should let me show you how good we could be together.”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I’m seeing someone else. Someone who means everything to me.”
The pain that lanced through her eyes hurt me, but I needed to be straight with her.
“It’s that girl I saw you with, isn’t it? The blonde, skinny girl.”
I sighed and stepped around her. “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, it’s her.” I stopped, my back to her. “You’re a gorgeous woman, Astrid, but we were never meant to be more than friends. I’m sorry if I ever gave the implication that we were.”
“I’m a big girl, Ethan,” she sniffled. “Just tell me the truth – it’s because she’s thin and I’m not, isn’t it?”
Exasperated, I turned to face her. “Don’t be ridiculous. Size has absolutely nothing to do with it.” I leaned down and put my hand on her cheek, needing her to see the honesty in my words. “Pen’s owned my heart since I was thirteen, Astrid.” Her eyes widened in surprise. “It’s the truth. Please believe me.”
She dipped her chin and wiped her nose on her sleeve. “Wow. That sounds…intense.”
I grinned at her. “Well, maybe, but do you believe me now?”
She shrugged and stepped away from me when Callum came back from his studio. He hesitated but then reached out his hand for her.
“Come on, gorgeous. Let me buy you a drink.”
I looked between them, sensing there was more to the innocent request, but I didn’t ask.
Astrid smiled at Callum and took his hand. “Sounds good.” She squared her shoulders and looked directly into my eyes. “Goodbye, handsome. See you around.”
I nodded and smiled at her. “Probably, yeah.”
“Don’t be a stranger, man,” Callum grinned at me.
“I won’t.”
With that, he stepped around me, pulling Astrid behind him, and I let out a relieved sigh before I turned off the lights and followed them. Suddenly, I couldn’t wait to speak with my girl, and I rushed out the door and got into my truck. I wanted to hurry home, needing privacy for what I was about to tell her, but I fired off a text first:
Me: I miss you, darlin’. Home in five. Can I call you when I’ve taken care of the dogs?
I tossed my phone down on the seat and started my truck. The parking lot was almost empty, but just as I was about to reverse, my eyes caught Callum and Astrid standing next to his flashy, black BMW convertible in my rearview mirror, and I hesitated as I watched what could only be described as a heated argument. She was in his arms, slamming her palms against his chest before he leaned down and said something that caused her to melt into his arms. She buried her face in his neck, her body shaking. I frowned at the gentle way he ran his hand down her back to soothe her, a grim set to his mouth.
Seeing her in such a vulnerable state made me feel like shit. I hoped to god her outburst didn’t have anything to do with me, but I had a nagging feeling it did.
My cell pinged, and I looked down at the lit-up screen.
Penelope: I miss you, too. So much, in fact, that I’m standing outside your apartment building right now. Please hurry home. xo
Blown away by her words, I flew into action. I reversed out of my space, ignored Callum’s chin lift when he saw me, and drove away from Privé for the last time. I swore I’d never come back here. It only took me ten minutes to get to my apartment, but it felt like an eternity. Had something happened between Penelope and her parents that had caused her to come running to me? Trepidation settled in my gut as my thoughts ran wild, but when I saw her next to my parking space, her face serene and happy, my nerves settled down a little. I turned off the ignition and grabbed my bag.
“Are you all right?” I called to her as I jumped out.
“Of course.” She beamed at me. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
I wrapped her up in my arms. “Fuck, your text made me worried.”
“I’m sorry.” Her arms squeezed my neck and she pulled back. “Everything is fine. Was it wrong of me to show up here?”
I crushed her to my chest and buried my face in her neck. “Fuck no.” She shivered when my lips found the sensitive spot behind her ear, and I groaned.
“Good,” she whispered.
I raised my head and moved my hand to rest on her cheek, tilting up her face. “You can come to my place whenever you want. I have a spare key – it’s yours if you want it.”
Her eyes lit up with joy, but she bit her lip, seeming unsure.
“Don’t you think we’re moving too fast, Ethan?”
I shook my head. “We’ve been moving toward this moment almost all our lives, Pen. Hell no, I don’t think it’s going too fast.”
Happiness flooded her eyes, making me feel like I was ten feet tall. “Thank you, baby.”
I grinned and kissed her nose. “Come on, let’s go upstairs. After we’ve walked Freya and Thor,” she beamed at me when I said their names, “it’s just you, me, and my bed all night.”
Another delightful shiver passed through her, and at the sight of her eyes as they darkened with desire, I pushed my hardening dick into her belly. The need that flared to life inside me whenever she was within reach made me curse the fact that I had to tamp it down for now.
“Come on.” I stepped away and took her hand in mine. “Let’s get going. We’ll hit the grocery store when we walk the dogs. Can’t forget to eat.”
She tilted her head. “It’s funny how often you seem to be obsessed with feeding me.”
I slapped her gently on the butt, grinning wickedly at her when she jumped. “Have to keep you fueled up so I can have my wicked way with you, darlin’.”
Her lips twitched at the same time she tried to keep a straight face.
“Hmm.”
My dick swelled as I watched her pert ass walk up the stairs – fuck, her jeans were so tight, they looked as if they were painted on. I couldn’t wait to rip them off her. For the first time in my life, I wished to fuck I didn’t have a couple four-legged furry friends waiting for me.
I didn’t know what it said about me, but I didn’t give a damn.
Penelope made me forget everything and everyone else, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it.
22
The Past - Planning
Ethan & Pippa – ages twenty-two & nineteen
“You have to quit looking at my sister like that.”
The grin I’d been sporting before Max spoke up vanished, and I whipped my head around.
“What?”
He raised his beer, resting it on the ridges of his lips, and nodded. “You heard me.” He took a long pull of beer, and I looked back to the dance floor – well, the dining room that had been turned into a dance floor – and my eyes landed on Pippa who was dancing with some of her friends. She always looked beautiful, but even more so tonight in that long, backless white dress she was wearing. Maybe it was because it was her graduation party and she was, as she put it, finally free to do as she pleased, but…no, I realized, a pang to my heart. That wasn’t it.
It was her confidence and her feisty spirit that drew me like a moth to a flame.
A tight fist clenched around my heart, but I pretended to be clueless as I glanced at him.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Max snorted. “Yeah, right. You weren’t the one who had to wipe away her tears last year when you turned her down. I’m her big brother, remember? I know her, sometimes better than she knows herself. She isn’t over you yet, and she won’t get there as long as you keep sending her those long, smoldering looks.”
Smoldering looks?! Where the hell did he come up with that?
Sensing this wasn’t to go down well, I turned fully to face him. “Look, I…”
“No, you need to take a look, Ethan.” Beer bottle in hand, he pointed to the dance floor, frown in place. If it weren’t for the hard, honest way he looked at me, I’d have been able to play off his accusations for drunken stupidity. But Max wasn’t drunk. Sighing, I raised my eyes and did as he asked.
“Take a good, fucking look at her and tell me what you see.”
Fuck me, she looked good enough to eat, but I couldn’t tell him that. I couldn’t tell anyone, least of all her.
I rested a hip against the table behind us. “I see my best friend,” I huffed.
He pulled his beanie down “That’s a lie, and you fucking know it.”
“Max.” I narrowed my eyes in warning, but he wouldn’t let it go.
“Oh, yeah, she was your best friend,” he said as he pushed a finger into my chest, “but from where I stand? These days, it looks like you wanna do a fuckuva lot more than just be her friend.”
Exasperated, I raised my glass, shaking my head. “You’re wrong,” I lied.
“Listen, man, I don’t really give a fuck about how you feel, but I do care about my little sister, and what I won’t do is stand by and see her get hurt.” He clapped me hard on the back. “If you’re not going to do anything about it, then quit getting her hopes up. That’s all I’m saying.”
“How am I getting her hopes up?” I spluttered. “Have I ever given her any indication that I want her to be more than my friend?”
He shook his head slowly. “You don’t get it, do you?”
He was really starting to piss me off, but this w
as Max, my brother – maybe not by blood, but by choice – and I took a deep breath, trying to calm down.
“Get what?”
Mouth grim, he took a step closer and muttered, “Whenever you’re in the same room, you gravitate toward each other as if you’re two magnets being pulled together by some otherworldly force, Ethan. You have this…this strange connection,” he huffed, “that we all see, and that’s pretty fucking special. I get that, I do.” He shrugged. “I want to find that someday. But to a young girl like her? She could read way more into it than you do, so I’m warning you now: stop staring at her. Stop watching her every move and give it a rest. Let her be free, Ethan, instead of toying with her emotions. It’s not fair to her, and you know it.”
I jerked my chin at him. “You done yet?”
He nodded once, and, without another word, he left me alone.
Alone with my thoughts and emotions all over the place. I glanced down at the soda in my hand, for once wishing that I didn’t have an aversion to alcohol, but I wasn’t about to let go of my principles. I wasn’t stupid enough to think that I’d turn into my old man – fucking bastard that he was – but I didn’t want to lose control, especially not tonight. Max had given me so much to think about, and I needed to get some air and digest his words in solitude.
But before I left the room, I allowed myself a few more moments of temptation and looked back at Pippa. Silently, I counted to ten, drawing out the seconds, as I memorized her beaming smile and the stars in her eyes. The pangs in my heart grew stronger until I found myself gasping for air, the pain became that intense. Finally, when I couldn’t bear it any longer, I wrenched my eyes away and snuck to the back of the Montgomery house. When I slipped out the back door, memories of playing with their old dogs, Molly and Sam, assaulted me, and I became lost in them the closer I got to the old treehouse.
But the closer I got, the stronger my memories became.
