by Zandria West
As I slide in next to Gabriel on the couch, I soon realise what a flimsy concession it is. His heavy coat has already been removed, so I unbutton his shirt and pull it open. As I do, I see the bruises and swelling on his chest and shoulder. He’s so beautiful and so damaged. His skin is purple and grey. I’m not a doctor, but I’d be amazed if something wasn’t broken. And a lot of the bruising is to his rib-cage. Immediately I find myself imagining injuries to his lungs and his heart and I start to panic… Steady Lana, steady. There’s something you can do now, and that is be close to him. Let your energy flow back to him through the bond, through your skin. Help him heal.
I nestle against him, hooking one leg between his, wrapping an arm low around his waist – I don’t want to hurt him by touching where he’s been hurt. In an instant, the whole front of my body is against his. He’s so much bigger than me, I feel engulfed by him. I swallow. My bare breasts are pressed against his skin. My nipples harden and a fierce, melting heat burns in my groin. Focus, Lana. Breathe. I sense a movement through the bond – the faintest shifting, as though from something very small and very far away. I press my forehead to his chin and close my eyes. ‘Come back, Gabriel,’ I whisper. ‘Please…’
Time seems to disappear. I don’t know how long we lie like this, whether it is seconds or minutes or hours. I feel like I’m humming, my body more alive, more present than it’s ever been before in my life. But I also feel rested, like I’ve had a deep and perfectly contented sleep. My breathing synchronises with his. I sense the rhythm of our heart beats, a dance of blood and muscle. I dream; a strange dream of flight. I soar over rooftops, glide through trees, the whole air belongs to me, everything is within my grasp. I feel light and I feel loved.
Suddenly, I wake to a searing pain. I cry out, for a moment clenched with fear, and then realise – it’s the crow. The crow on my arm feels like it’s burning. Gabriel groans and opens his eyes.
‘Lana?’ His voice is a muted whisper. He looks disbelieving at me. And then I feel him running his fingers through my hair, down the length of my spine, his lips are on my cheek, my neck.
‘You’re alright?’ I say. ‘Oh god, you’re alright. I thought you were going to die.’
I pull the blanket down and wriggle back a little and am amazed to see that the bruises on his body have faded. A moment later I realise that I’m basically naked.
‘Um…’ I pull the blanket back up.
His breath is heavy in my ear and I feel his body stirring against mine. And every single part of me wants him – I want to know his secrets, his dreams, his fears. I want to make him forget them all, forget everything except me…
He shifts back and gazes into my eyes and I feel like I will never see anything else again except him. ‘Is Alex okay?’ he murmurs.
‘Yeah I’m fine.’
‘Fuck!’ I squawk.
I had no idea that Alex was even in the room. He lounges in a chair a few feet away from us.
‘Thanks for asking, Gabe,’ Alex smiles. ‘I’m surprised you even remembered I existed, under the circumstances.’
Gabriel pushes himself up on one elbow and I bury my flaming face against his shoulder. He smells rich, like spices and the smoke from candles and the moment before lightning. I close my eyes.
‘Would you pass Lana her clothing please,’ Gabriel says, his voice an exemplar of gentlemanly politeness.
‘Hmm. Well, I guess I could. Though, have you thought about the alternative?’
‘Alex!’ I hiss. ‘Just pass me my fucking clothes.’
He shrugs and places them on the ground next to me. ‘I’ll give you two a moment,’ he says, then stands and walks back out into the other room where I can hear Freya making clattering sounds. For a moment, we’re alone.
‘You’re alright, Gabriel?’ I say again, hardly able to believe it. ‘You really feel better?’
‘I feel more than better, I feel… incredible. Thanks to you, Lana. You didn’t have to…’
I sit up and turn away from him to quickly hitch my bra back on, then pull my t-shirt over the top. I turn back to face him as I hop on one foot and then the other, extremely gracefully re-inserting my legs into jeans and barely managing not to fall over as I do it. Perfect.
Then I sit next to him. He takes my hand and gazes up at me, those eyes, so dark, so full of light. ‘Gabriel, you saved my life. Twice. And I have this strange feeling that you might have to do it again before long. So yes, I did have to.’
‘Lana, I should say… when I first came around, I hope I didn’t…’
My jaw clenches. Oh god, is he going to make this awkward? He’s going to make this awkward.
‘It’s fine. You didn’t. I didn’t. We didn’t. Now let’s all have a nice cup of tea and think about how I’m getting home.’
For a moment, I see pain flickering across his features. Then he returns to normal and pushes himself up gingerly to sitting. It’s so good to see him move, to hear his voice. I’m staggered by the degree of relief and gratitude I feel, given that a day ago I didn’t even know this man.
He frowns at me. ‘Tea I can definitely agree with. Getting you home may require some further consideration.’
12
LANA
Freya feeds us generous servings of a thick, fragrant casserole with crusty bread and multiple glasses of wine. The food and drink, after the hours and hours of being awake and in danger, knock me out. She clears a spot for me to sleep and I lay down and am unconscious before I’ve taken another breath.
I stir awake to the sound of Gabriel and Alexander talking, their voices low and intense. I yawn, making enough noise that they’ll realise I’m awake, then roll over and look at them both. With a full belly and a decent night’s sleep, and in the absence of any immediate life-threatening danger, I can finally just appreciate these two men that life has thrown into my path. They’re each so different, both so unbearably sexy, and they’re looking at me with equally worried expressions.
In an instant, Alex is by my side, reaching for my hand. ‘You’re awake! How do you feel? Are you okay?’
‘Um, sure, a bit groggy but fine I think,’ I smile.
Gabriel frowns darkly as though he doesn’t believe me. ‘Can I get you a glass of water? Something to eat?’
‘I’m good, Gabriel. Thanks, though...’
I watch as the two men exchange a look.
‘So, you’re driving me home soon? My cat will be getting really hungry by now,’ I say. I see light pouring through the window. I wince. The glare is making my head hurt. I must be getting used to the dark. ‘Daytime’s a good time to travel, isn’t it?’
The bond is meant to help them protect me. So, I figure they can protect me, and I can go home.
I really, really just want to go home.
‘Daytime is probably the safest time for us to move,’ Gabriel says. I catch something tentative in his tone and in the way he looks sideways at Alex.
Alex gives a small nod. ‘If we’re going to go, we should go soon. The earlier we get through the city, the easier it will be.’
Just then the door opens and Freya bustles in with arms full of herbs.
‘Ah, she’s up,’ she drops the herbs on a table by the door, then sits beside me and examines me closely, frowning and tutting as she turns my head, looks at my eyes, and places her hands on my temples as though reading something through them. ‘Well, you seem fit as a fiddle. Remarkable given what you did for Gabriel last night. I’m sure it must have taken some strength to bring him back. More than meets the eye to this one,’ she says, turning and giving Gabriel and Alex a hard look. ‘I hope you two do your jobs properly and take good care of her.’
I almost laugh to see the way the two of them nod meekly in unison, badass grown men looking like scared little boys before this diminutive, silver-haired lady.
‘And you,’ she turns her gaze on me. ‘You are always welcome here, child. If need arises, the path through the forest to my home will be open to you.�
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I nod, surprised to find tears filling my eyes.
After goodbyes and thank-yous that feel like they last half the day, we finally head back out to the car. Walking behind Gabriel, I’m amazed to see him moving easily and without pain, given that he was a half-dead wreck when we brought him to Freya the night before. I feel a shiver of something sparking through my spine: excitement or pride, I’m not sure which. I healed him. Gabriel walks ahead of me and Alex just behind me, my two men. I realise for the first time that I really have begun to think of them as mine.
‘Leave some room in that heart of yours for the others,’ Alex says quietly as he opens the door for me.
I laugh nervously. ‘The others? I’ll believe they’re real when I meet them face to face.’
‘Oh, you’ll believe in them before that,’ Alex says. ‘You’ll know they’re real as soon as you feel their markings on your skin.’
A tiny thrum of excitement moves through me at his words.
‘And I hope that comes sooner rather than later,’ Gabriel says from the back seat. ‘After what happened last night, I’d like you to be better protected. The two of us will do our best, but four are stronger than two.’
I turn to look at Gabriel. The hours since I met him have been a blur. I still haven’t got the answers I came here for, and after everything that’s happened, it’s become even more important that I know why all this is happening to me. ‘Why would it take all four of you to protect me, Gabriel? What is going on?’
Gabriel’s eyes darken. He hesitates for a moment, as though weighing his options, before he finally speaks. ‘Your father didn’t tell me much, Lana, but what he did tell me… He met a woman in the jungle, a soothsayer. She warned him that you were in grave danger. She knew things about you and about your family that nobody should have known, which is why your father took her warning so seriously. I believe he was trying to learn more before he died…’
I swallow. I can hardly believe this is all really happening. Alex turns the key and the engine roars. He edges his foot onto the accelerator. We lurch over a few feet of bumpy ground and then back onto the road to the city.
The drive back feels different. There’s a tension in the car that wasn’t there before, which is strange, because on the drive out we were running from a horde of furious demons and Gabriel was horribly injured. Whatever happened between Gabriel and I when I healed him has strengthened our bond. I’m so aware of him now, of how he feels, of his consciousness of me. And Alex keeps looking sideways at me and reaching across and taking my hand and I want him to, and that in itself is a fucking headspin. I want both of them. I’m out of my depth.
I turn to look at Gabriel where he sits in the back. ‘Will you be safe going home after what happened? Will they come after you?’
‘I’ll be fine,’ he growls.
‘Gabe’s been in the trenches for centuries,’ Alex says. ‘A few more enemies to add to the list won’t make much difference.’
But I sense Gabriel tensing up. He’s not fine. He’s scared. There’s something he’s not telling me.
‘What is it?’ I say. ‘You can talk to me.’
I see Alex and Gabriel make eye contact in the rear vision mirror. Then Gabriel sinks a little in his seat, like he’s deflating slightly. ‘It’s just… the one who broke through the wards at my house. She is… someone who I haven’t seen in a long time…’
‘Like an ex-girlfriend?’ I ask, frowning, and Alex snorts.
Gabriel ignores us both. ‘No. She is a witch. Very old and very powerful. I tried to kill her once many years ago. She’s come back to return the favour.’
‘Well, she tried and failed last night, so you’re even-stevens again, right?’ I say hopefully.
I see Alex grin and shake his head.
‘Unfortunately, I don’t think that is how it will work,’ Gabriel says. He’s definitely not grinning.
‘Well, what are you going to do?’
‘I… I hadn’t thought that far ahead yet,’ he admits. ‘I was thinking about you.’
‘Can’t protect me very well if you’re dead though, can you?’ I say.
‘She has a point,’ Alex agrees, keeping his eyes on the road.
Gabriel groans. ‘I’ll rework the protection spell when I get home, secure the area again and wait –’
‘For her to come back and kill you?’ I say. ‘That’s your plan? Right, well, I can see why my father chose you to protect me. It was definitely for the forward thinking.’
Alex chuckles at this, though I sense Gabriel bristling through the bond.
‘Do you have a better suggestion, Lana?’
‘Actually, I do. Come and stay with me. Just for a few days until things settle down. Get someone else to keep an eye on your place for a while and see if anyone’s watching it.’
I hadn’t even meant to say it, but the moment I do, I think the plan is perfect. Gabriel is mostly human. He can freely cross the Barrier, or so Alex said. And to be honest, after the closeness I’ve felt with the two of them these past twenty-four hours, as much as I want to go home, I can’t help but think it’s going to be, well, lonely on my own… which is seriously weird, because being alone isn’t something that’s ever bothered me before.
But while I’m thinking happy thoughts, Gabriel is scowling. ‘Absolutely not.’
‘Why not?’
‘My presence could draw attention to you, Lana. We can’t risk it…’
I frown. ‘But that’s not possible is it? Doesn’t the Barrier keep the demons away? They can’t cross over…’
There’s a pause, and then Alex is the one who answers. ‘Unfortunately, it’s not quite that simple. The Barrier prevents most demons from crossing, but demons also have humans who work for them. Hunters, mercenaries, lackeys, devotees, that sort of thing. The witch who attacked Gabe, I’m pretty sure she’s relatively human. So she can cross at will, which is bad news, whatever fucking world you live in. There have been incidents recently, too, though they’ve probably been kept quiet on the human side. The Barrier is starting to fail. It has been breached more than once.’
I feel a sudden chill in my veins. None of that sounds good at all.
‘So, what you’re saying is, they might come for me anyway? So, if Gabriel was staying with me, he’d be able to help fight them off?’ I look from one to the other of them, pleading.
‘She’s right, actually. You should do it, Gabe,’ Alex says, uncharacteristically serious. ‘You cross over with Lana and I’ll track down the others. That way we can complete the binding as soon as possible.’
‘So, it’s a plan?’ I say hopefully.
There’s a long pause and then Gabriel nods. ‘I will stay with you. Alexander will seek the final two.’
I feel a rush of happiness, like he’s agreed to go out for a pizza and a movie rather than to crash in my tiny apartment and help ward off demonic attackers.
13
LANA
Gabriel leaves Alex and I alone for a few minutes while he goes into an apothecary to collect some supplies before we cross back over from Darktown. I think he’s done it to give us a little space to say goodbye, which makes me feel weird and uncertain in about a dozen different ways. Alex draws me into a tight embrace and buries his face in my hair, runs his lips down the length of my neck. For a long, shivering moment I imagine him biting me. I wonder if it would hurt? I long for the pain, the closeness. I don’t want him to let me go, but eventually he does.
‘Listen to me angel,’ Alex whispers, holding both my hands and gazing into my eyes. It’s all I can do not to lunge at him, he’s so unreasonably goddamned beautiful. ‘Gabriel will sense danger more quickly than you will. Whatever he tells you to do, do it. Even if you don’t like it, even if it seems overly cautious. Trust him. Please.’
I swallow and nod. Suddenly I’m overwhelmed with terror that this really is goodbye, that I won’t ever see Alex again. I’ve heard him and Gabriel murmuring about where they think the ot
hers might be and what could have delayed them, given that the strength of the binding calling to them should be something they cannot ignore. I worry that Alex is heading into danger now, alone, and there’s nothing I can do to help him.
‘I won’t be long, I promise,’ he says in a low voice. Then he places a hand on either side of my face, leans in slowly and his lips brush mine so gently for a moment I’m not even sure if it’s happening. I close my eyes and kiss him back. The kiss grows deeper and holy hell… when we kiss, there’s nothing else. Nothing else exists in the whole universe. No fear, no grief, no loss. If the world was to end right now it would be completely fine with me. I feel something welling up inside me, a feeling that I hardly even recognise, it’s fierce and deep and powerful. If I had to put a name to it, I’d call it joy.
Alex pulls away and smiles, the gentlest of smiles, and places a finger on my lips. Then, before I can say anything, he turns and walks back to the car. I watch him climb back into the driver’s seat. I hear the shop door open and shut behind me and sense Gabriel beside me. I watch as Alex starts the car. I watch as he drives away down the road. I don’t even know why I’m crying.
‘It’s okay to feel,’ Gabriel says gently. ‘You don’t have to try to stop it. And you don’t have to hide it from me. I feel too. It’s the bond…’ He places a hand on my heart. The warmth of his touch thaws parts of me that have been frozen for longer than I can remember. He puts an arm around my shoulders and draws me closer.
‘I’ve known Alexander for centuries and still haven’t managed to lose him. And that’s not for lack of trying. Don’t worry, you’ll see him again.’
I sob-laugh, and nod, and then wipe my face with my sleeve. We start walking. The Barrier is only a few blocks away from here, and I can already feel the humming it makes in my ears. I never look forward to passing back through, it always feels like shit. But somehow, to be doing it with Gabriel at my side makes it something that I could almost enjoy. Because I know I’m going home, and he’s coming with me.
