by Zandria West
16
LANA
Gabriel hasn’t told me what he saw yet, though I can tell that it scared him because he’s pacing so fast on those long legs of his that I just about have to run to keep up. I’m fucking exhausted. I’m tired of being scared and I’m tired of running. My back burns. I haven’t seen what’s forming there yet but it feels big. Whoever this Reuben guy is, he’d better be worth it.
For a moment I feel light-headed, almost hysterical. I imagine myself on one of those ‘I got a tattoo and regret it terribly’ reality TV shows trying to explain why I’m marked with the signs of not one, not two, but three different guys – with a fourth on the way. Scratch that: different demons.
Gabriel said we’re going to cross back over, but the way he’s taken me isn’t the way I’d usually go to enter Darktown. So far as I know, there’s only one entrance and it’s a long way away from here. I look at him sideways. Is there something he’s not telling me?
‘As an enforcer, I have access to transit points that others aren’t aware of…’ Gabriel says, as though guessing my thoughts.
‘An enforcer? That sounds… serious.’
‘I am… was part of a team – myself, Alexander, Grayson and Reuben. We were tasked by the Council to hunt down and kill any demons who passed through the barrier into the human zone unlawfully.’
I shudder. ‘You killed people?’
‘Not people. Demons.’
Having worked at Hell on Earth for almost a year now, I could tell Gabriel that the distinction was nowhere near as clear cut as he’d like to believe. Some demons are thoughtful, polite, well-mannered and tip like a badly-loaded dinghy. Whereas some humans are dangerous, mean assholes.
‘There were other teams as well, but over time they’ve all been either disbanded or gone mysteriously missing. Officially enforcers still operate, they are a central requirement of the Accord, but in reality the political climate has changed somewhat in recent years.’
‘But you kept going?’
‘We went underground rather than disband,’ he says gruffly, clearly not wanting to continue this topic of conversation. ‘And we have not yet lost our rights of passage across the Barrier. Passage is granted not by the demon council but by the Great Coven. Though the demons are able to track who crosses, when and where. Ah, and here we are.’
We’re standing before the opening to a large stormwater drain that leads down into some kind of tunnel. It’s dark. Really dark. Fantastic.
Gabriel looks around cautiously. The street is empty. We’re in a part of the city I’ve never been to before, a place I didn’t even know existed until now. It’s a back alley that runs behind a row of huge storage sheds. He takes my hand and, crouching low, we wriggle our way through the opening and into the tunnel. Something brushes against my face, a spider-web probably, and I have to bite my lip not to scream. I have flashes of the movie IT and that fucking freaky murderous sewer-clown.
‘Only a little further,’ Gabriel says. Another few paces and the tunnel widens, so we’re finally able to stand. That helps a little. ‘The boundary is just ahead,’ he takes my hand and leads me into the darkness. ‘Once we’re through, I’ll take you to a safe house to rest, and then we can try to get a message out to Alexander.’
Rest. Just the sound of the word feels like gentle hands pressing down on my shoulders, making me so heavy I can barely move. All I want to do is lie down and close my eyes and imagine that none of this is really happening.
And then, there’s an unexpected jolt and I almost fall over as we step through into Darktown.
‘That was… easy,’ I say. Crossing never feels like that. It never takes you by surprise. It’s always way too unpleasant for way too long to be a surprise.
‘The binding will make it easier for you,’ Gabriel says.
It feels like we walk for hours through the tunnel, but really it’s probably only twenty minutes or so. Then we come to a door – it’s heavy and made of stone, and there is no visible handle or lock. I can only tell it’s a door because Gabriel tells me it is. There are faint markings on it – runes. He stops before it and recites a few words under his breath and then presses both palms to it and it opens.
I follow him in.
He closes the door again behind us, then lights a lamp and leads me into what is a surprisingly comfortable-looking room. I see a bed in one corner, made up with blankets and pillows. A shelf lined with supplies – tins of soup, packets of noodles, instant coffee, condensed milk. Things I recognise from the human world. A small gas stove like you’d get from a camping shop. A sink and kettle. And in the middle of the room, a table is covered with a half-finished jigsaw puzzle of a beach scene complete with surfers, palm trees and girls in bikinis.
‘You do jigsaws?’
‘Sometimes, to pass the time…’ he says, the words almost a growl. It’s hard to tell, but I think that maybe he’s blushing just the tiniest bit. ‘Now, before you rest, I should check your back. Is it hurting still?’
I wince and nod.
‘I might be able to help. May I…?’ He carefully helps me out of my jacket, then takes hold of my shoulders, turns me around and lifts the material of my top. For a moment there is nothing but the comfort of cool air on the place where the sign is forming. Then I feel something like a gentle breath, and instantly the pain diminishes.
‘Better?’ he asks.
‘So much better.’
‘Sleep will be the best thing for it,’ he says.
I feel so heavy, I don’t know how I’ve managed to stay on my feet this whole time. I sit on the bed and pull my shoes off. I don’t have the energy to do anything else, and besides I don’t exactly have PJs to change into or a toothbrush to do my teeth with. This is the least well-prepared sleepover I’ve ever had. Except it’s not a sleepover, I remind myself. Because I’m never going home. It returns to me in a flash: the destruction of my home. My belongings scattered and broken, my cat dead, the empty place on the ledge where my father’s ashes should have been... I close my eyes and rub them with my palms, as if I can rub the memory out of them. I know instinctively that if I let myself dwell on it for too long, horror and despair will drown me. I blink my eyes open and see Gabriel settling down on the floor on the far side of the room.
‘What are you doing?’ I ask.
‘We’re safe here. I don’t need to keep watch. I’ll try and catch a few hours’ sleep too…’
‘Down there?’
He looks up at me. In his dark eyes I see a longing so deep that it makes me shiver. I could blame it on the binding, or I could blame it on the utter disaster that is my life at this moment, or I could blame it on those eyes that seem to look right into my soul. Whatever it is, I just know I don’t want to be alone tonight.
‘Share the bed with me,’ I say, the words raw in my mouth. ‘Please.’
He closes his eyes as though engaging in some internal battle.
‘The binding will seek to draw us together…’ he says.
‘I don’t care about the binding,’ I say. ‘I don’t want to see you lying on the goddamned floor after everything we’ve been through today, and I don’t want to be alone.’
Finally, he sighs, then rises and crosses the room and lies on top of the sheet beside me, rolling onto his side so he faces me.
I can barely breathe having him so close. I can’t take my eyes off him. I lift a trembling hand and trace his profile with my fingers. Strong jaw, rough with dark stubble. Smooth forehead. Soft lips… And then our gaze meets, his eyes so dark, so deep… He takes hold of my hand and kisses my fingertips and I feel shivers move through the core of my body. The crow on my arm burns like a brand. He pulls away, frowning.
‘I shouldn’t do this,’ he says in a low growl. ‘You’re vulnerable, frightened. You’ve just lost your home. It’s not right.’
‘I’m not frightened when you’re here,’ I say, realising as I say it that it’s the truth. I lean forward and kiss him.
He lets out a low moan and kisses me back, slowly and deeply, running his fingers through my hair, stroking it gently over my shoulders and down my back. I close my eyes, letting myself drift with the kisses, it’s like I’m floating. His tongue traces the curve of my lips and pushes into my mouth and as I meet it with my own, I feel as though my body is about to melt. Suddenly, I sense Alexander lying on the other side of me. It’s so real: he’s there. I gasp and pull away from Gabriel and look over my shoulder. Of course the bed is empty.
‘What is it?’ Gabriel says, his brow crinkling with worry.
‘I… um…’ I don’t know how to tell him. Is it weird? Will he be angry? Then I remember how he comforted me when Alex left – he held me and told me not to hide my feelings.
‘I feel like Alex is here with us,’ I whisper.
To my surprise, Gabriel chuckles, a deep, rich sound that I don’t think I’ve ever heard him make before. ‘Is he now…’
I bite my lip and close my eyes. Alex’s presence is so strong. I feel the warmth of his body, the stroking of his fingers down my arms, along the stretch of my waist, over the curve of my hip…
I splutter and open my eyes, blushing, staring at Gabriel accusingly as it if was he who touched me.
‘It’s a good sign,’ he says. ‘It means the bond is growing stronger. Eventually you won’t be able to be with one of us without sensing the others…’
I cough. ‘You mean…?’
His voice is gentle, but his gaze is serious. ‘We are all connected, Lana. Through you. The connection magnifies our power. Close your eyes. You will feel it…’
I close my eyes again, a flutter of excitement stirring in my chest.
‘And you don’t mind?’ I ask, opening my eyes and studying his face. ‘You don’t mind that it’s not… just us?’
‘I don’t mind, Lana,’ he smiles gently. ‘Which is fortunate, because it cannot be any other way.’
He leans his forehead against mine, runs his fingers down my shoulders, across the top of my back just above where the mark of the wolf is forming. A little flicker of pain makes me bite my lip, but it’s a good pain, the feeling of something new growing.
And then I sense him again – Alexander. Even though I have only known him for such a short time, he feels so familiar – cheeky, greedy, affectionate, teasing. Dangerous. I welcome him through the bond, and as I do I feel him nuzzling into me, smelling me, tasting me. And then, there’s a sudden sharp sensation.
‘Ouch!’ I jump and open my eyes. I expect to be greeted by his heavenly blue gaze but instead it’s Gabriel, watching me curiously, with a look of humour. ‘He bit me!’ I say.
Gabriel smiles slowly. ‘He must like you…’ Suddenly, I feel a strange jolt. There’s someone else there. A third. A presence I do not know but as soon as I sense it, the wolf on my back feels like it’s stretching, trying to find a way to climb off my back and run.
‘What the…?’ And then I understand. ‘Reuben. I can sense Reuben too. Just barely, but it’s there. He’s… different…’
‘It sounds like I should make the most of having you to myself,’ Gabriel says, ‘because it might not last much longer…’
He leans in and places a kiss on my mouth, pulls me to him so the full length of my body is crushed against his. I close my eyes and dissolve into his touch.
17
LANA
This feels so good. Part of me wants to just let it happen, and part of me is pinging an alert. Based on previous experience, nothing that feels this good can ever be anything short of a disaster.
Gabriel leans in and places a hard kiss on my mouth, another on my jaw, another on my neck. I groan softly, excitement like quicksilver running through my veins. ‘I want to know you, Lana,’ he says, his voice dark with desire. ‘I want to know all of you.’
As his gaze meets mine, I no longer care if this is a mistake. If it is, it’s the best mistake I’ve ever made. I raise my arms and he slides my top up and over my head. I shiver, both from the cool air and from his gaze on my body. He looks greedily at me now, and there’s something commanding in his eyes. He’s a man who’s used to being obeyed, to being feared even, but I don’t fear him.
I hesitate a moment, and then reach around and unhook my bra, and let it fall to the bed.
Gabriel lets out a low growl and then he pushes me back, pressing me hard against the pillow. At first the sign on my back burns but then it settles, like my wolf has accepted its place and is willing to relax and let me have this moment. Gabriel’s kisses are an onslaught. He traces a path with his lips and tongue, around my collar bone, over my sternum and down the centre of my chest. I close my eyes, gasping at the sensation of heat that ripples through me. I grab his hair, two handfuls, and pull his mouth to my breast. For a moment there’s only a gentle flickering sensation, like the lightest touch, and then I feel as he takes my nipple into his mouth, his hand rubbing over my other breast, stroking and kneading it. I moan with pleasure as he nibbles and licks and sucks and squeezes, harder and harder. My whole body feels like it’s on fire. God, I’m terrified I’m going to come just from him kissing my breasts. Is that even possible?
Then he lets go.
What the fuck?
He sits back on his haunches and studies me, and as he does I drink in his massive, shapely thighs, the suggestion of muscle beneath his shirt, that brutally perfect mouth that was all over my body just a moment ago… I reach for him, and he holds my wrists so tightly. The pressure is close to pain, but he doesn’t let me any closer.
I wriggle on the bed, feeling uncomfortable and turned on at the same time. My skin rises in goosebumps and I feel my nipples grow suddenly harder.
‘I know bad things have happened to you Lana,’ he says, his voice low and hard. ‘I don’t want to be one of those things. Ever.’
‘You won’t be,’ I say. In truth, at this point I’d say anything if it would get him to touch me again.
‘I’m sworn to protect you and I will. With my fucking life if I have to.’ His gaze burns, as though something inside him were blazing with a heat that might never be extinguished.
I swallow, unable to speak. Gabriel looks into my eyes and then places his hands on the button of my jeans. I nod permission and he undoes the button and pulls them down over my legs and tosses them onto the floor.
‘And these too…’ he whispers, hooking his fingers in the band of my panties and sliding them down. I’m shocked to feel how wet I am. I’m actually, literally, dripping onto the bed. I’m also naked, and he hasn’t removed a single item of his own clothing. Part of me thinks that should feel unfair, but it doesn’t. I love how it feels. I love being exposed to him. So vulnerable.
He lowers his head to my belly, nuzzles and licks, places kisses on the small peaks of my hip bones, and then runs his mouth lightly over my sex. All he does is breathe, one warm, gentle breath, and I feel myself dissolve.
Slowly I sense the whisper beside me. Alex. It’s fucking Alex. I close my eyes and turn my head to one side as Gabriel draws his fingertips down my inner thighs, teasing them apart gently and then with more force, so my legs are splayed. I feel the lips of my sex parting. I’m completely open to him. My eyes roll back as I moan, reaching for Gabriel’s hair, his hands, whatever of him that I can touch but all I can find are the sheets, so I grab at them with clawing fingers.
‘You’re perfect, Lana,’ he growls, ‘like a beautiful flower opening to the light…’
The warm touch of his tongue on the tip of my clit blasts a jolt of desperate need through me. Oh god I want him on me and in me, I want to give all of myself to him. He laps at me, tiny licks that make me hum with a dangerous voltage. He runs his fingers over me, teasing at my entrance so I long to push myself onto his finger, to be impaled by him…
‘Fuck…’ I moan.
He licks more strongly now, nibbling and biting at me, playing with me, pushing his tongue inside me so I buck and writhe against him. Oh god, I don’t want him to ever s
top. I could do this forever.
Beautiful… I sense Alexander. I don’t care if he’s there. I want him too. I want all of them. Even the ones I haven’t met yet. Because I know that they are mine and I am theirs. My body feels like it’s glowing, the signs of the binding pulsating with energy, with pleasure.
The climax is coming, it’s like something outside of me. It’s too fast and too powerful, there’s no way I can escape once I’m in its path. I close my eyes. I’m barely aware of anything now – of where I am or what Gabriel is doing to me, the sensations have grown so heightened, so intense…
He slides his fingers inside me, revelling in my wetness, my need. When the orgasm hits me, I come apart. I hear myself scream, but I’m not even sure if it’s me anymore.
I feel so complete, so utterly myself.
I feel like I’m not even there, I’ve shattered into a billion pieces.
And then, Gabriel is holding me tight, lifting me up into his arms and rocking me as I’m sobbing my release. He kisses my eyes and strokes my hair and whispers words I don’t even hear. And slowly, slowly, I return.
‘Oh my fucking god,’ I say. ‘Is that what it’s like?’
I’ve been with guys before, but it has never felt anything like this.
He smiles at me. ‘Yes, Lana. That is what it’s like. Or that is one way it can be. There are many varieties of pleasure and many varieties of release, and I want you to know all of them, my brightest star.’
I close my eyes and lean back against him. ‘I think I can sleep now,’ I murmur, then realise that he has only given pleasure, he hasn’t received. ‘I’m sorry, can I do something for you…?’ I murmur looking up at him, concerned that I could have forgotten his needs so easily.
He smiles and shakes his head. ‘Rest. Just as you are. I will watch over you. That is the greatest gift you could give me, your trust…’
18
LANA
I wake up to find Gabriel watching me. The room is dim – the lamp has been turned down so it’s just the merest flicker of flame. I have no sense of time – whether it is day or night, how long I might have slept for. I wonder if Gabriel slept at all or if he just sat like that, by the bed, studying me.
