by Zandria West
‘Clarissa,’ he says, with a sigh. ‘She’s been the only person I can talk to about you. About the way you are at the moment. At least she understands. I feel embarrassed to even tell the guys at work…’
He’s embarrassed of me? He thinks that I’m just imagining my house is trashed? I swallow, a red haze of fury descending.
‘You might think I’m a joke Jamie, but I’m not fucking joking. Go and check my place out. It’s been wrecked. My fucking cat is dead in the middle of the fucking floor. I didn’t even have a chance to bury him because I had to run…’
‘Okay, I’m sorry. I don’t think you’re a joke. I’m just worried about you, that’s all. You know that, don’t you? It’s not normal, the way you’re living…’
I close my eyes and wish beyond hope that I’ll be able to get my brother to listen to me. Just this once. I try again. One last time. This time, I’m begging.
‘Please. This is really important. Even if you think I’m crazy, just do this one thing. Call in sick at work. Tell them you’ve got the flu. Don’t say anything to anyone. Head out to the cabin. I’ll meet you there tonight. I’ll tell you everything. I’ll prove it all to you, I swear.’
I still expect him to laugh it off but he’s silent for a long time, and finally he says ‘Okay. But after this, I need you to get your shit together, Lana. Dad’s gone. It’s been two years. You can’t keep falling apart like this. I can’t keep picking up the pieces.’
‘You’ll meet me?’ I say, my heart pounding. I can’t believe he’s agreed. He’s been a dick about it as usual, but he’s actually agreed.
‘I’ll meet you.’
‘Tonight,’ I say. ‘It has to be tonight. And promise you won’t say a word to anybody.’
Don’t tell Clarissa, is what I mean, but I feel like saying it will only make it more likely to happen.
‘I promise. But only because you’ve got the twin-power over me.’
I exhale. That’s as good as I’m going to get from Jamie. ‘Okay. Great,’ I say, my mind racing.
Now I have to figure out how to get to the cabin. I’m going to need Alex’s car. And I don’t want to leave Gabriel behind. I want all of them with me for this, even Reuben who I haven’t met yet.
Jamie’s not going to like it.
They’re not going to like it either.
Too bad. If they want to protect me, they’re going to have to protect him too. As of now, that’s the deal.
24
GABRIEL
She opens on the first knock.
‘Sweetheart, it has been too long, I thought you’d abandoned me forever…’
Emilia Ravankia opens the door wide and gestures for me to enter. I step in and inhale the familiar scent of burning incense, brewing herbal concoctions and wet dog.
‘Bastian, leave poor Gabriel alone,’ Emilia pulls the owner of the wet dog smell closer to her and he sits obediently, though he doesn’t take his eyes off me.
‘Please, Gabriel, come. Come.’
I follow Emilia down a long narrow corridor.
We’ve done some business together in the past. I was grateful for her help, but Emilia has a tendency to mix business with pleasure and to my mind that is nothing but dangerous and foolish, my present circumstances notwithstanding.
She indicates for me to sit, then tucks a long golden plait over one shoulder, twirling its end in her fingers, before sitting down directly across from me, a little too close for comfort and resting her ice blue eyes on mine. Her bloodhound sits at her feet, his nose resting on his paws but his eyes and ears alert and trained on me.
‘Now, what brings you to my door?’ she smiles sweetly, and I see a shifting flicker of light brighten her pupils for a moment.
‘I need your help,’ I say.
‘I guessed as much,’ her smile hardens. ‘Otherwise I’d never have seen you again, would I?’
‘I’m sorry. I’ve been… occupied.’
‘Always busy, our Gabriel, with many important things,’ she tilts her head slightly to the side. That uncanny glow sparks again and I feel her mind touching mine.
I never could get used to that feeling.
‘I think… I believe… someone may have found a way to connect themselves to me, to gain access to my thoughts, to sap my power…’
‘Oh really? And who would have done such a thing?’
Her voices holds just a hint of mockery, gentle enough to be friendly but barbed nonetheless.
‘Garenda,’ I say.
Her eyes narrow. A hiss escapes her lips and at her feet, her dog stirs and grumbles as though sensing his owner’s disquiet. ‘And you came here? To me? I do not like witches, Gabriel. For one handsome male witch only do I make an exception.’
‘I don’t want to place you in any danger, and I don’t expect any more of you than that you use your powers to confirm my fears. I may be wrong. If I’m right, I’ll find my own way of dealing with it.’
Emilia is silent a moment. ‘I suppose I can help you just this once, for old times’ sake my friend.’
‘What is the cost?’ I say, warily.
‘Cost?’ A confected look of wounded innocence crosses her face.
‘There is always a cost,’ I say. ‘Tell me what you will ask of me so I may know whether or not I am able to pay it.’
‘Gabriel, you’re mistaken. There is no cost. Though if you’d visit a lonely woman again someday, that would be a great kindness…’ She runs her long, shapely fingernails along the length of my thigh.
‘Of course,’ I say, holding myself still at her touch, although it repulses me. My need for what she can do is greater than the discomfort I feel in her presence.
‘Well, shall we begin?’ she says. She stands and pulls the blinds closed so the room falls into darkness, then she lights a row of candles along a far shelf.
She sits again, and this time takes both of my hands in hers.
‘Are you ready?’
I nod, tensing at what I know is to come.
‘Close your eyes, Gabriel, and take a deep breath.’
I do as she instructs and a moment later, I sense her.
Emilia is one of those demons who feed on thought and emotion. She has a skill for entering people’s minds, sifting through their memories and feelings, and taking what she wants. She reminds me of a bird who steals shiny objects to pile in their nest. I do not know if she has any real life of her own, or if she lives only off what she scavenges from others: their ideas, their dreams, their fears…
I take a breath and let her in.
At first, the touch of her mind on mine is gentle, so light that I barely notice her presence. Then I feel her beginning to feed. She has learned not to take too much, she told me once. Just a little here, a little there. Most people will not even notice the loss, they’ll just think their memories have faded, the intensity of what they felt dimmed over time when in fact, the truth is she has taken it from them.
We had an arrangement, for a time.
I needed to forget. She was hungry for memories.
I realised the danger before it was too late, I’m glad to say, but what was lost cannot ever be regained. And since I allowed her to feed on me, I have a connection to her that I never wanted. She knows me too well.
‘Ah, now, this is interesting…’
I sense her picking at the threads of my memories of Lana. I tense.
‘Those are not for you,’ I say stiffly.
The first time I saw Lana at Hell on Earth, striding across the dancefloor to rescue that foolish human girl; she was so brave and beautiful and fragile. The first time I touched her, when I planted the seed of the magic of our bond. And every time I have seen her since, and our bond has deepened and grown and along with it our trust, our friendship and glimmers of something much greater still that might bloom between us.
‘I see why you have not been to visit me,’ Emilia says, a touch of bitterness tainting her voice. ‘You’ve been busy. You no longer wish to forget.�
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‘Trying to run from my memories was a mistake,’ I say. ‘It was cowardice. I realised that before I ever met Lana.’
‘You have found your purpose,’ she says, almost sadly. ‘I will not see you again, after this, will I?’
I don’t answer.
‘Garenda attacked my home,’ I try to return us to the task at hand. ‘She killed my familiar and used the bond to gain access to my thoughts. I need to know if she’s still present in my mind.’
‘Of course…’ Emilia says, and I sense her moving deeper into my memories.
I hold still and let her do what she must. I know I can trust her. Emilia has no alliances. She works for no-one, and cares for no-one but herself and her own appetites. It makes our dealings simple and predictable, if not pleasant.
‘Ah yes,’ she croons. ‘I sense her. She is strong…’
She lets go of my hands and I open my eyes to see her sit back, blinking, maintaining distance from me as though Garenda is an illness she might catch.
‘I’m sorry, my darling, your fears are confirmed.’
She stands and pours herself a drink, then pours me one too and offers it. As I take it, I see her hand is shaking.
‘What will you do?’ she says.
‘I’m not yet sure.’
‘But you have some idea,’ she presses.
‘I do.’
‘If I may be permitted to say one thing it would be this: do it quickly.’ Then she drains her drink and rises. ‘I’ll show you to the door.’
25
LANA
The tunnel feels even darker after being out in the daylight. I sense nothing as I cross the Barrier – actually nothing – which is the strangest thing of all. Crossing over is usually worse than an instantaneous hangover. But as the blackness thickens around me, I can tell without doubt I’m back in Darktown. It just feels different.
I start walking as fast as I can. Snake-demons be damned. I touch the amulet that hangs around my neck and it’s reassuringly cool. The signs on my body hum softly. I guess I’m closer to the guys, so the Bondmarks are responding.
Then I remember how I saw Clarissa in the place of Gabriel in my vision and my stomach churns. I extend my consciousness out through the bindings now, but nothing feels amiss. I remember watching a documentary about how spiders spin their web and gently touch each of the threads, feeling them for vibrations, to know when a prey has landed. I feel like that, except that I’m feeling for my protectors. They’re all there. One. Two. Three. Gabriel is very faint, but still, I can sense him.
I keep walking. The sooner I’m out of the dark and back at the safehouse, the better.
I see no sign of Tarly, though I watch and listen carefully, expecting to hear the soft slither of her snake every step I take. At one stage, I walk over something sticky and when I touch the tunnel wall it feels wet, but it’s too dark to see what it is. Part of me hopes whatever my sign did killed her. I’m sure she was about to hurt me. Another part of me hopes that she was just injured enough to be warned off, and she’s snuck away into a deep dark hole somewhere to recover from the wound.
I keep walking. Eventually I recognise the spot where the tunnel grows wider and higher, and the darkness softens just a little. I’m not far off now. It’s only when the door to the safehouse is almost in sight that doubt starts to creep up on me. The safehouse is meant to be secure. Gabriel said nobody could get in, that’s why he was comfortable leaving me alone there. As I think about it now, it seems extremely likely that “nobody” will include me.
Fuck. Excellent plan, Lana. I spot the rough shape of the door carved into the stone ahead. I reach the doorway and stand in front of it, take a deep breath, like that will help. Then I place my palms on the stone surface of the door. I remember the way it swung open for Gabriel. For me, it does nothing.
Crap.
I take my hands off and try again. Zilch.
I bang gently with my fist on the rock. If someone is inside they might hear me or sense me through the bond. I wait. Nothing. Damn it.
It’s dark, and I’ve already almost been killed once today in the tunnel, and frankly I really don’t like it here. Then I hear a sound and spin around. Footsteps: someone or something is approaching. I watch as a shape emerges from the gloom. At first, I’m not sure what it is, but then I see that it’s a man, or more likely a man-shaped demon. He’s tall, broad shouldered, his hair hangs long and knotted around his shoulders. He looks… wild. As he comes closer, I can vaguely make out his expression. He also looks pissed off.
I stand up taller and put my hands on my hips. I’m basically defenceless other than my amulet and whatever the hell the signs on my body do, but I don’t have to look like it. I learned that from Hell on Earth. Look like you’re not going to take any shit, and you get a whole lot less of it.
Then I see the man’s face contort into a vicious snarl. He roars and crosses the distance between us in a couple of leaps.
Suddenly, the sign on my back begins to burn. I cry out from the pain, and as I do I feel the man’s broad hands pressing around my throat. I fight and kick and try to bite at him, but he’s too strong and he holds me too firmly. He leans in, eyes narrowed, and sniffs me. He fucking sniffs me!
Then there’s a blur of movement and I make out a figure behind him – it’s Alexander, though his lovely jacket is all torn and bloody.
‘Reuben, what the fuck are you doing? Let Lana go you fucking mangy sack of toad-testicles!’
I see the man’s eyes widen. He releases my throat and steps back. He looks pale, then horrified, then mortified.
‘I thought… I thought… you said she was inside the safehouse…’
Alex pushes Reuben aside and grasps me by the shoulders, only a little more gently then Reuben had. ‘She was fucking supposed to be. What are you doing out here Lana?’
I tear his hands off me and push him away. The terror of being attacked has morphed into fury. ‘None of your fucking business, Alexander. Now will one of you let me back inside? Or would you rather I wait out here until someone else decides to take a swipe at me?’
Alex’s face instantly softens. He reaches for me again, but this time tenderly. ‘I’m so sorry. You scared me, angel.’
‘He scared me,’ I say, glaring over his shoulder at the man who is now wearing a hangdog expression.
‘He’s been out in the wild for too long. Tends to act before he thinks, does our Reuben.’
Reuben?
The man lets out a low growl and as he does, my back aches. It feels as though it’s not just my skin that’s branded by my bond with him, but my muscles, and nerves and bone… I scowl back at him.
Alexander reaches an arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer. ‘Let’s not do introductions like this, out in the tunnel. Here, let’s get you inside.’
Then he puts a hand to the door, murmurs a few words, and it swings wide.
26
LANA
‘Where did he say he was going?’
Alexander hasn’t stopped frowning and pacing since we got back into the safehouse. Reuben is slouched silently in a corner looking at the floor. Now that my rage has died away, I find myself looking at him curiously when I think he won’t see.
‘He didn’t,’ I say, just like I did the last few times Alex asked me. ‘He said he had things to do and that I should wait here for him.’
‘And that was a few hours ago?’
I frown. ‘I… I think so.’ I have trouble telling how fast time moves here still.
‘And what were you doing when you thought you saw Clarissa?’
I shut my mouth and feel my cheeks blaze red. Alex turns and looks at me, and at exactly the same moment I remember sensing him while I was with Gabriel the night before. His expression softens, a playful smile brushing the edges of his lips. ‘That’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.’
I grit my teeth. Of course I don’t have to tell him; he’ll take it straight out of my m
ind whether I like it or not.
‘I was just… thinking of Gabriel. And I saw her instead. I felt her there.’
Alex’s smile dissolves. This is bad. I know it is.
‘We can’t wait for Gabriel,’ I say, even though I feel sick in my stomach as I say it. ‘I promised my brother I’d meet him tonight.’
‘We don’t go anywhere without Gabe,’ Alex says sharply.
‘No, Alex. Lana’s brother is her pack,’ Reuben growls. I turn, startled. ‘She has no one else. We should go. It’s her brother. It’s important.’
‘Not if we all end up dead it isn’t,’ Alex says then sighs dramatically and drops down to sit on the end of the bed. He turns to me. ‘Have you considered that it’s a trap?’
I shake my head. ‘Jamie might think I’m an idiot, but he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.’
‘He might not think what he’s doing will hurt you. If Clarissa is involved he might be misguided or enchanted or… you know… just not very bright. Women like Clarissa can have that effect on men. You must exercise caution, Lana.’
From the corner I hear Reuben make a noise that might have been a cough or might have been a laugh. ‘Like you can teach anyone about caution,’ he says.
I meet Alex’s gaze. For a moment, I’m lost in the glorious blue of his eyes. Reuben’s right, caution is the last thing I want to exercise when I look at my beautiful vampire. I want to close my eyes and let myself drift in the power of the bond. I have a sense of him weightless, underwater, the smoothness of his skin, his strength, his power…
I shake myself back to the present moment. Jamie.
‘I’m going. Whether Gabriel comes back or not. If you want to protect me, you’d better come with me. Otherwise, I’ll need to borrow your car.’
‘You’d better be prepared for a breezy drive,’ Alex says. ‘We had a little mishap when we were coming out of the forest…’
Fifteen minutes later we’re driving through the old city at a speed that in my world would be illegal. It’s lucky that it was one of the side windows that got broken and not the windscreen. The air rushing into the car is cool, but at least the damage isn’t too conspicuous.
