“Oh.”
She crossed her arms, tucking her hands into her body, hidden. But it didn’t hide the quaking in her shoulders.
Of all that he had seen and done that day, it was this—her body out of control—that cut to his conscience and had Sebastian truly questioning his tactics.
Not able to stop himself, he pounced before she could avoid him, setting both of his hands on her shoulders, hoping to still the trembling. He stared down at the top of her head, searching for words to make this easier for her. “Brianna…what is done is done. It is the right course.”
Her eyes whipped up to him. “Did you plan this, Lord Luhaunt?
“What?”
“Did you plan this? Plan to ruin me?”
“How could I have possibly planned what happened by the stream?”
“Did you invite Wynne to catch us?”
“You question my honor?”
She glared at him, accusation plain in her clear blue eyes.
A soft chuckle escaped from his lips, his hands tightening on her shoulders. “Do you honestly think I somehow knew I would find you near to naked in a stream, and miraculously, I had thought ahead and asked Wynne to meet us in that very spot? You truly must think me magical if I could have possibly done any of those things.”
Her bottom lip disappeared under her teeth as she stared at him. “No. I apologize. It was wrong to question your honor.” Her eyes narrowed at him. “But your actions by the stream—all of this could have been avoided if you had just left. Left instead of sitting there a cad, antagonizing me. And to what end? Look at where we are now.”
“You blame me?”
“Yes.”
His hands dropped from her shoulders. She was angry again. Angry, but the shaking had stopped. He would take the anger well over the shaking shell she had just been.
“I cannot change what happened, Brianna. And I am not going to fight what is to come.”
Her eyes lit up. “But you could. You could leave. Disappear. Sneak off. Jilt me. I would be ever so grateful if you would. And you need not worry—I would only speak kind words of you.”
“I am not about to do that, Brianna.”
“I do not…I do not know what to do.” Her hand went to her forehead, rubbing it. “I do not know how to extract us from this situation. And you—you vex me, Lord Luhaunt. You. This situation. Everything. All I wanted to do was to find a suitable husband for Lily, the only reason we even came to Notlund, and now this…now this.”
She sank onto a side chair, her fingers going back and forth under the brown lace crawling up her neck as if it was choking her. Sebastian could see her start to crumble again.
He moved to sit on the chair next to her, leaning forward so she was forced to look at him. “All of this will be easier, Brianna, if you just accept the inevitable.”
“That easy?” Her head shook, her gaze going to the ceiling. With a deep breath, her blue eyes dropped to him. “What do you want from me, Lord Luhaunt?”
“Foremost, Brianna, I would like you to not look repulsed at the very thought of marrying me.”
Her head jerked to a tilt. “I look repulsed?”
“Slightly.”
“Oh…I fear I have lost all politeness.”
“It is understandable. Second, and most importantly, I wish to marry you. You will recall I did come here for a wife.”
“And it does not matter to you who that wife is?”
“I want you, Brianna. I have made no secret of that.”
Frown deepening on her face, Sebastian could see the suspicion in her eyes only heighten. As many times as he had told her that, not once had she believed him.
Not once.
Sebastian stared at her, attempting to see past her eyes, past her wall.
Not once had she looked at him without suspicion.
And he needed to figure out why.
{ Chapter 5 • Earl of Destiny }
She only had two days left.
Two days before the marriage, and as much as she had tried to convince the duke, Wynne, and her sister that the marriage wasn’t necessary, Brianna had made no progress. True, she had agreed to the marriage, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t try to escape it until the very moment she said “I do.”
Her sister avoided her at every turn, and Wynne would merely turn the conversation to wedding preparations. The duke had been scarce, Brianna only saw him at dinners. But at least he was still at Notlund—unlike Lord Luhaunt, who had disappeared altogether.
Brianna hadn’t talked to Luhaunt since the day of the scandal. He had left Notlund for a few days, presumably to prepare things for the wedding—arrange the special license—but she wasn’t sure. She had hoped against hope that he maybe just wouldn’t return. That he would disappear, fleeing the need to marry her.
But then Luhaunt had returned. And Brianna had become desperate. So desperate, that she was about to trade one secret in order to keep an even more precious one.
Pacing the wooden boards on the porch of Wynne’s painting studio, situated just up the hill from the expansive stables, Brianna’s eyes scanned the rolling pastures. She had been waiting for two hours for Lord Luhaunt to appear, jittery and watching the workers that were busy constructing the fourth, and grandest, stable at Notlund.
One of the stableboys had reported that Luhaunt had taken out a new young mare to test her stamina. But how long did it really take to test a horse’s stamina?
Brianna stopped, rocking back on her heels as she looked at the horizon above the forest canopy. The sun’s rays were beginning to wane. If Luhaunt did not appear soon, she would miss her chance to talk to him in private today.
Thundering hooves from her right made her jump, and a cloud of dust preceded a lean brown horse coming to a sudden halt in front of her. Brianna looked up.
Lord Luhaunt. Of course. The man was not bashful.
“Brianna. You are waiting for me?”
Brianna’s arms crossed over her belly. Was she that obvious? She nodded.
A quick smile crossed his face. “Had I known the pleasure awaited me, I would have returned much earlier. Let me get this one settled to her stall. You will wait?”
Brianna nodded again, her arms tightening against her belly. She hadn’t realized how twisted her stomach had gotten during the past several days, but there it was, a spiked rock ravaging her belly at the mere sight of Luhaunt.
Within minutes, Brianna was watching Luhaunt walk up from the second stable. In a simple white linen shirt with sleeves rolled back, buckskin breeches, and well-worn, tall black Hessians, Lord Luhaunt looked entirely comfortable, entirely at ease with dirt and sweat covering his tall frame.
He ran a hand through his dark brown hair, mussing even more the tousle of it. She took a deep breath. If she did end up having to marry the man, at least he was easy to look at. Too easy, truth be told.
“Have you been waiting long?” Luhaunt asked halfway up the hill.
Brianna stepped from the porch onto the scrubby grass splotching the dirt. “Yes. But it was fine to wait. I wished to speak to you in private.” She met him a few paces from the studio.
He stopped, eyeing her for a quick second, then looked around. “Walk with me to the castle?”
Brianna nodded, her arms dropping from her stomach. She didn’t trust being alone with him, but she also couldn’t risk having this conversation anywhere near prying ears.
They walked in silence to the start of the path that ran through the forest up to the castle. Her eyes on the trail in front of her, she could feel Luhaunt’s curious glances her way.
Once they were secluded in the quiet of the trees, Luhaunt cleared his throat. “What was it you wanted to discuss, Brianna?”
The hairs on the back of her neck prickled. That he continued to call her by her first name put her on guard—far too intimate. But she wasn’t about to fight that battle. She had much bigger problems—like extracting herself from getting married.
She gla
nced up at him. “To my dismay, this wedding appears to be moving forth. I had hoped that with a few days’ time, the duke and my sister would see that it is not necessary, but they have not budged in their opinions.”
“Nor have I.”
“Yes, well, you may think differently after I tell you what I need to. And in which case, I will be more than happy to absolve you from any entanglement with me.”
“What is it you need to tell me?”
“The money, the Silverton estate. I am sure you know that it is vast and healthy.”
“I do.”
“I was not lying when I told you days ago that all of it is tied into trusts that are only accessible by me, and limitedly, by my sister. A husband for either of us would have no access to the fortune. I have had three separate solicitors working to make it so, and the trusts are unbreakable. I would be happy to show you the documents.”
He shrugged. “I do not need to see the documents, Brianna. I believe you.”
“Do you understand? You will not gain anything by marrying me, Lord Luhaunt.”
“I disagree.”
“You do?”
“I will gain a wife.”
Brianna gritted her teeth, taking a controlling breath. “In no uncertain terms, Lord Luhaunt, if we are forced to marry—and I emphasize forced—you will not be able to take control of any assets, and you will not be able to make me choose to give you anything.” Her voice went hard. “No matter what you think you can do to me, I will give you nothing. If you think you can break my will, you cannot.”
His eyebrow cocked up at her, curious. “I believe you misinterpret every intention I have, Brianna. I do not want your money—I never did. The earldom eclipses anything I could ever desire, and then some.”
Brianna’s feet stopped. “But you work so hard for this stud farm—all of your travels. Wynne has talked about all you have done to make these stables, this business, successful—you work on it like you need it to be prosperous.”
Luhaunt halted, turning fully to her. “I do not have to do anything, Brianna. I work with the duke on the herd because I am good at it. I am good at discovering the best horses. Good at convincing people to part with them. Good at breeding matches.” His left hand went up, fingers running through his hair and then scratching the back of his neck. “I do all of it because it is worth my time. Something I can contribute to the world. Something more than sitting in London and gambling and drinking.”
He pointed back in the direction of the stables. “What Rowen and I started here—what we are creating is something truly special. These horses—we are creating new breeds—new lines that are nothing but a gift to the world.”
Following to where his finger pointed, Brianna stared at the trees that now blocked the stables from view.
She suddenly realized she knew absolutely nothing about this man. She had been fighting so hard to extract herself from marrying him, that she hadn’t even considered learning anything about him.
She looked up at him, meeting his brown eyes that were squarely on her. “It is just not usual, an earl that has more to do with his time than gambling and hunting and politics.”
Luhaunt shrugged and turned, resuming the walk. “Yes, well, I was a spare—a second son—for most of my life. My purpose had never been the earldom, and I should not be vilified for having aspirations outside of it.”
Brianna followed, falling into step beside him. “I apologize. I did not intend to disparage your work. I made assumptions.”
“Do not give it another thought.”
“Are you cursed, Lord Luhaunt?” Brianna glanced at his profile, the question flying out of her mouth before she could control it. Annoyed with herself, the fingernail of her ring finger jabbed into the pad of her thumb—her control over her own tongue seemed to particularly lack around Luhaunt.
A few steps passed without him looking her way, and then he chuckled, his eyes on a low branch in front of them. “Cursed? That is the latest the tongues wag about me?”
“The Newdale sisters, yes. The elder mentioned that you are cursed and that you practice the dark arts. Especially with the horses. It is how you are able to see things with them that others do not.” Brianna cleared her throat. As the words escaped, she realized how utterly silly they sounded. “I am, of course, keenly aware she is not the most credible of sources. So I thought to ask you on the matter.”
“Do I see things that others do not?”
“Is that the curse?”
“I do not know if one would call it a curse, but yes, I do recognize nuances with the horses that others do not. I did not understand how different, or useful, the skill was until we were immersed in the wars on the continent.”
“The duke has mentioned time and again how crucial you were to saving some of the very best horses to ever walk the earth.”
“He is too kind.”
“He is also honest and not given to exaggeration.”
Luhaunt shrugged.
They continued in silence for several more steps. Her boots crunching on twigs, Brianna’s eyes fell to the forest floor.
She was moving in the exact opposite direction she had intended. She hadn’t waited for hours just to speak to Luhaunt to get to know him better—no, she was supposed to be trying to convince him to call off the wedding. She had hoped reminding him of the money he would not have access to would be enough. That he would realize there would be no benefit to marrying her.
She had been a fool to pin her hopes on that.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, her fingernails started to, one by one and back and forth, dig into the pads of her thumbs.
She would have to tell him. It was the last thing she could think of. The last chance for escape.
“There is one more thing I need to tell you, Lord Luhaunt, and again, I give you free rein to put a stop to this marriage when you hear it. In fact, I encourage it.”
He gave her a sideways glance, sudden smirk on his face. “Yes, I imagine you do encourage it. There is nothing that will change my mind on the matter, Brianna.”
“I am not a virgin.”
His stride froze instantly, and it took Brianna another two steps to stop. By then, he already had her elbow in his hand, pulling her backward. She turned to look at him, finding his smirk had vanished and his eyes had turned deadly serious.
Brianna’s throat constricted, cutting her breath as her body went stiff. She hadn’t thought Luhaunt a violent man, but then, she had been wrong before. Very wrong.
Trying to wedge her arm from his grasp, her head swiveled around, looking for escape into the trees.
He didn’t let her go. “You are not a virgin?”
She shook her head, leaning into his arm, trying to use her weight to break his hold.
“Brianna, stop. Did something happen to you? Did some man—”
“No. No. It is not what you are thinking. I was willing.”
He dropped her elbow, staring at her. She didn’t move from her spot, accepting his stare. Accepting his judgement. If it got her out of the marriage, then she would take it—anything he had to dole out.
It took him a long moment to form words. “You loved this man, then?”
Brianna sucked in a gasp, blood draining from her face.
“You loved him?”
She fought the dizziness setting in.
But what did it matter now, the truth?
“I…I did. I thought I did.”
“When?”
“Years ago.”
“What happened?”
Her head whipped to the side and she turned to walk away from Luhaunt. She had to move or she was going to faint. She had thought it would be easy, speaking these words, speaking of the past. But it wasn’t—far from it. Chin at her chest, words mumbled out. “I loved the wrong person.”
His hand went to her elbow again, halting her steps. Luhaunt planted himself in front of her. “Your face is ashen, Brianna. And your eyes tell me it was not as simple as th
at—that it was traumatic. Did he die? Did he abandon you?”
She glanced up at his face for the smallest moment, and then her head dropped and she stared at the dust on his black boots.
Seconds ticked by before she gained enough control to lift her head and force her eyes to meet and stay on his. “Lord Luhaunt, I have told you what you were owed to know before you married me. I am a fallen woman. Beyond that, I do not wish to speak of that time.”
She inhaled a deep breath, her left hand flat on her stomach. “Will you talk to the duke about the broken engagement by yourself, or do you wish me to accompany you?”
His answer was instant, his brow furrowed at her. “This does not change a thing, Brianna. I still want you.”
“But…but you cannot. I am a fallen woman.”
“I can, and I do. I want you as my wife.”
Brianna swallowed a frustrated growl. This man was impossible to escape. “Lord Luhaunt, I do understand that you came here for my sister, and that I am—”
“Why is it, Brianna, that you continue to insist I came to Notlund for your sister?”
“The first day we met, you said you were here for a wife.”
“Yes.” Luhaunt’s grip on her elbow tightened, and he leaned in, heat in his brown eyes. Unmistakable heat. Heat that was directed, full force, at her. “A wife is exactly why I came here.”
Dumbstruck, unable to deny what he insinuated, Brianna leaned slightly away from him. His heat was too much.
“But why me? I am not interesting, not a painter like Wynne, not light and bubbly and charming like Lily. I have offered you nothing but frowns, and yet you still insist on saying you want me.” She wedged a foot backward to gain some space. “Why? I do not understand it.”
His intentions sufficiently expressed, Luhaunt dropped his grip on her arm, letting her escape him. She pounced on the opportunity and continued walking up the path. He stayed right next to her, his arm brushing hers.
“Honestly, Brianna, I do not fully understand it either. But it is true. I want you. It is just like with the horses—I see something in you that others do not.”
“What could you possibly see in me?”
“Aside from your beauty you try so hard to hide? Maybe I see that there is more to you than you are willing to let the world see. Maybe that is what I am marrying.”
Lord of Fates: A Complete Historical Regency Romance Series (3-Book Box Set) Page 34
