Her chin dropped to her chest as her arm shifted, swinging the hammer half-heartedly at the corner of the abbey.
“Just leave me, Garek. Leave me to my stones.” Her voice escaped in a puff of cold air, a cracked whisper.
Her arm drifted to a standstill at her side, the handle of the hammer nearly slipping from her grasp.
“Smash them all you want, Lily. I am waiting right here for you.” Garek took a step forward, his hands setting softly on her shoulders. “You will not be alone. I was not about to desert you that first night I saw you, and I am not about to leave you alone now. It kills me that I cannot make right everything in your world. But I will. One day, I will. I swear it, Lils.”
It took a very long moment, then Lily swayed slightly, finally releasing her body backward. Backward to lean into him. To let him slip his arms around her.
Garek’s throat clenched, halting his breath.
This moment. This moment of safety he could give her. If nothing more, this he could give her.
A shiver ran through her body, and the hammer slid from her fingers, thumping to the cold ground.
“You are freezing.” Garek tightened his hold around her belly, trying to heat the chill from her body.
“And you are warm.”
His head dropped, his chin resting on her hair. “This is all I want, Lils. To heat you. Comfort you. Let me do that, if I can do nothing else.”
Garek stared at the beaten stone in front of them, the holes that had been ripped open into the interior.
A mess. A ramshackle mess.
{ Chapter 6 • Marquess of Fortune }
Garek stepped along the garden path outside of Weadly Hall, crunching the frost clinging to the blades of dead grass. He had checked on Brianna, but not finding Lily in her room, he had gone searching.
Her absence troubled him, as they had fallen into a reliable routine during the past weeks—Garek would arrive late in the morning and stay until just before nightfall unless there was a new patient in town to visit.
Dread building, he knew the formal gardens were the last place to check before he headed on to the abbey. If she was there, it most likely meant Sneedly had overstepped his bounds again.
The sound reached him softly at first, louder with each step, until he fully heard it.
His footsteps stilled.
The most hauntingly beautiful singing voice he had ever heard curled through the air along the evergreen hedges lining the pathway.
To pine on the stem;
Since the lovely are sleeping,
Go, sleep thou with them.
Thus kindly I scatter,
Thy leaves o'er the bed,
Where thy mates of the garden
Lie scentless and dead.
Stepping lightly, Garek followed the sound to find Lily sitting on a black iron bench in an evergreen garden room.
Transfixed, he stared at her profile from afar. Huddled under her dark cloak, her fingers plucked at the tightly wrapped petals of a dried rose, pain echoing in every word from her lips.
So soon may I follow,
When friendships decay,
And from Love's shining circle
The gems drop away.
When true hearts lie withered,
And fond ones are flown,
Oh, who would inhabit
This bleak world alone?
The last red petal, lined with dark decay, crumbled under her fingers, falling to the cold ground by her feet. She stared at her fingers, rubbing the remnants slowly from her skin.
It gutted him.
Garek thought for a moment to escape, to leave her to her pain. At least for the moment. At least until he could conjure words against the suffering that weighed upon her soul. He knew how to deal with her anger, but this—this he was at a loss with.
Instead of escape, he stepped forward into the small space.
Lily jumped, her blue eyes flashing to him. “Garek. I—I thought I was alone.”
He shook his head, walking silently to her, stopping before her feet, but careful to not crush any of the petals on the ground.
She held up the barren stem of the rose. “I found it. The last one. Hidden deep. It held on for so long. I do not know how…” Her voice trailed off.
His chest tightening, Garek watched her face closely, the sorrow crinkling the edges of her eyes. “The ones that hold on, fight, are always the most beautiful, Lily.”
She dropped the stem to the ground. “Dead now.”
Staring at it on the bed of petals for a long moment, her chin finally lifted to look up at Garek. “These were Papa’s—he loved the roses—loved watching softness blossom from the thorns. He always chuckled when he pricked a finger—angry stems reward with the most beauty, he would say. I used to sing to him out here. That song was one of his favorites.”
“I knew your voice was pure, Lily, but I had no idea you could break my heart with so few notes.”
An achingly sad smile crossed her face. “Our nursemaid—she had a very sad soul—used to sing that to us when we were tiny.”
“Tell me you do not feel that,” Garek said, his voice rough.
“What?”
“Alone.”
Her head tilted, contemplating as she looked up at him. “No. And yes. When you are not here, I do. Bree still is not awake for very long stretches, so I only have my thoughts to keep me company. Have you seen her already? I did not see you come up from the stables, or I would have accompanied you.”
Garek pointed to the empty space on the bench, and Lily nodded. He sat next to her, leaning on the back of elaborate iron scrollwork. “I did check on her. She was sleeping, but she is holding steady, Lily. Gaining her strength back. We should be able to move her in a few days as long as there are no set-backs.”
Lily nodded, staring at the dried petals on the ground. “I had to tell her today—about father, about how I found her.”
“That is what has put the sadness into your eyes.” His arm went along her shoulders, pulling her into him. “Why today?”
“She has been asking, pestering me every time she awakens. She is still so confused about what happened and why.”
Lily picked up a crispy petal that had fallen onto her lap and attached to her cloak. She stared at it, turning it around in her fingers. “I had hoped she would be the one with answers for me. Instead, I have only confused her because I have no answers as to why this happened. I only know what I saw. Papa dead. Her cuts. But I could delay her no longer. She wants to visit the abbey, see it for herself, the spot where Papa died. She says she only sees snippets in her mind. Flashes of what happened.”
“That is good. It means her mind is coming back to her.”
Lily’s head tilted back, resting on his arm as her eyes went to the grey sky. “I do not want to bring her there, Garek. I do not want to remember. I do not want to watch her face when she remembers.”
“Then I will bring her.”
Her look fell to him. “You would do that for me?”
His hold tightened along her shoulders. “I would do anything to ease your burden, Lils.”
Taking a deep breath, her eyes closed. “I do not believe you are here, sometimes. Believe you are real.” The vibrant blue of her eyes opened to him. “How did you get here, Garek? Why did you leave London? You never speak of it.”
Garek had to stop his arm from noticeably tightening around her shoulders. “Dr. Halowell is a genius, making impressive advancements with what a surgeon, what medicine can achieve. Astounding research. It was why I was training under him. But his tutelage was also expensive and my funding for that privilege ran out.”
“That is all? I have seen your skill, Garek, your knowledge of herbs, of treating wounds—I am sure you were useful to him. Why could he not keep you on?”
“It was not Dr. Halowell’s decision. His son runs his practice along with the finances. Dr. Halowell does not want to be bothered by details. He wants to devote his time solely to his work an
d research. So his son controls the details, and I was given a choice when my funding expired. I could perform some duties for the practice as payment for my training, my room and meals, or I could leave.”
Her head tilted. “Duties? What duties?”
Garek shrugged. “Something I thought I could stomach, but as it happened, I discovered I am morally opposed to what he asked of me. So I was forced to leave.”
Lily turned under his arm to more fully face him. “What did Dr. Halowell’s son ask of you?”
“You do not need to know the details of my departure, Lily,” Garek said, cautious. He had not intended to ever have to tell Lily any of this, much less tell her at this very moment.
“Possibly not.” Her hands curled together on her lap. “But the devil always lurks in the details, Garek. I think I need to know.”
He sighed, shaking his head. It was very possible Lily would eventually discover this very detail from another source, and that would not do. She needed to hear it from him. “Cadavers. Dr. Halowell’s son wanted me to dig up cadavers.”
Lily yanked away from him, mouth agape, her face etched in horror. “He wanted you to rob graves?”
“Yes.” Garek’s arm dropped to his lap, meeting her eyes. He could not hide his past from her. And he wasn’t about to lie about it. “Dr. Halowell is advancing the field of surgery—brilliant—but it comes at a cost. He needs bodies—lots of bodies to dissect. A cost I had never thought about until I was asked to produce the bodies for the research.”
“So you refused?”
“No. Not immediately. I was at a gravesite, shovel in hand. I had dug three shovelfuls of dirt before the war in my head finished—respecting the dead versus the need for knowledge. And I could not do it. The dead should be given the respect to remain dead.”
Garek cleared his throat, flattening the fist his hand had balled into on his thigh. “So I stopped, much to the dismay of the three other grave robbers I was there with. There was…an altercation. And I left. I was done. Done with everything. I had thought never to practice medicine again.”
Lily stared at him, the horror melting from her forehead. Her mouth closed with a deep breath, her chest visibly lifting under her dark cloak. “But then you met me.”
He nodded. “I met you.”
“I am glad.”
“You are?”
“You are very good, Garek. I never thought you looked it—you are too large, a force—people should naturally cower from you. But you have such control—you are so gentle.” Her blue eyes centered on him. “The most compassionate man I have ever met. It would be wrong if you were not doing this work that so very clearly suits you.”
Garek’s jaw dropped slightly.
This he had not expected. Of all the words she could have spewed at him, just this—genuine acceptance. No condemnation of poor choices from his past.
Not that he had told her the whole story. He never intended to.
“You do not care?”
“I have far more important things to care about, Garek. Or have you not noticed?” A clear twinkle sprang into her eyes. “Whatever it took to put you in my path, I am grateful for it—however insidious it may have begun. And now…now I feel as though I have known you my whole life, that you are a constant in my world, and I have no patience for the past that clearly still disturbs you—sets your eyes to regret.”
His hands flew up, capturing her face.
“I am going to kiss you, Lils.” The words burned from his chest, full of intention.
She blinked, startled for a moment, and then nodded.
Garek paused, stuck in that very moment. Hell. How he needed to make her his.
The last two weeks had been torture. Stolen kisses in the shadows of Weadly Hall. Watching her move about Brianna’s room, wanting to touch her, hold her. Every moment wishing they were far from this place. Far from Sneedly’s leering eyes. Far past Brianna’s sickness.
He needed quite desperately to take her and leave no mistake that she was his now—would always be his.
Garek leaned forward, pulling her to him, his warm lips meeting her cool ones. She offered no hesitation, taking his attack, meeting it with purpose.
His right hand slipped along her jaw, wrapping along the back of her neck as he parted her mouth. He could feel her smile against him as his tongue ran along her teeth, the very sensation sending his body into hardness.
Garek knew he needed to pull back. Stop the madness he was slipping into before restraint abandoned him.
Ignoring reason, his left hand slipped down, moving under Lily’s cloak. Finding her wrist, his fingers danced up her forearm, past her elbow, and landed on the edge of her shoulder. His thumb dove inward, tracing the outer curve of her breast.
She gasped into his mouth. But held. Did not pull away.
No. Lily leaned into his hand, the softest murmur coming from the back of her throat.
Garek could not keep his palm from slipping downward, taking the full weight of her breast in his hand, gently cupping it, teasing the nipple through the layers of fabric.
Again, Lily only leaned into his touch, her breath quickening under his lips.
Damn. His last snippets of restraint wavered.
With a groan, Garek pulled away from her. Her lips had gone raw, her skin pink from his stubble. She looked thoroughly sated. Sated and fully ready for hours of his hands on her body.
He pulled his hand free from under her cloak.
Her blue eyes fluttered open to him.
“You are stopping?”
“If I do not, I will not be able to walk for days.”
Her eyebrows cocked with curious innocence at his comment, just as a snowflake landed on her forehead.
“It is no matter.” He smiled, resigned, and wiped the fat snowflake from her forehead with his thumb. “It is beginning to snow. You should go inside.”
“Are you gone for the rest of the day? I have started to gather much of my father’s papers, his ledgers. I know we will need them when we leave Weadly Hall, but they are in such disarray. The bound ledgers are fine, but the papers—they are a mess and I am making no sense of them. I think some guide me to a bank in London and others to the bank in Annadale, but I am not sure.”
“Why are they in such a mess?”
Lily’s nose scrunched. “Mr. Sneedly. Do you have somewhere to keep them safe at the tavern? I have some of the piles in several satchels. Will you look at them for me? I no longer trust leaving anything in this house, so I am trying to move everything of importance I can find to Bree’s room.”
“Including yourself?”
She smiled, her head tilting as her eyes went upward. “Yes. Including myself. I have made myself near invisible within the house.”
Garek’s jaw tightened. She tried to make light of the situation, but he could still see the angry fear veiled in her eyes. “Good. Keep it so. Brianna should be well enough to leave in a few days. I have found several homes that are possibilities for you two.”
“You have?”
He nodded.
She shook her head slowly, her blue eyes turning serious, pinning him. “I do not know what made you follow the sounds to the abbey those many weeks ago, what made you appear to me. But whatever it was, I owe it my heart, Garek. I had nothing left—nothing when you found me. But now Bree…You…” Her voice broke, words evaporating.
“Fate.” His hand went to the side of her face. “Fate put me in your path. It is the only explanation, and I am not inclined to believe in fate.”
“Maybe you should start.” She chuckled. “Fate it is, then. It is fate I owe.”
~~~
Lily softly cracked open the door to her father’s study, peeking her head into the room.
Empty, thank goodness.
After Garek had left, she had waited all day in Brianna’s room until late into the darkness, hoping that Mr. Sneedly had retired or drunk himself into a stupor, then made her way to her father’s study.
&n
bsp; Dropping the four burlap satchels she had scrounged up from the kitchens onto the desk, she set the one candle she had brought far across the room from the doorway to hide the light. She didn’t want Mr. Sneedly passing by and stopping to investigate.
Pulling a stack of her father’s papers onto her lap, she began sifting through them, squinting at his tiny scrawl in the low light, trying to decide what was needed and what wasn’t.
Hours passed in silence, only the slight crinkle of paper disturbing the stillness. Mr. Sneedly hadn’t interrupted her, which Lily was grateful for, though she continued to jump at every odd creak of the house. The wind had picked up with the snow, and the house was groaning against the cold.
The last thing she wanted was a repeat of the scene in the study with Mr. Sneedly from weeks ago. Not when she was so close to leaving this place for good.
Two satchels filled with her father’s papers, Lily shifted the balance of them in her arms, clutching them to her chest as she stepped out into the corridor. She quickly moved through the dark hallways to Brianna’s room.
The door closing behind her, it took Lily a moment to realize something was very wrong in Brianna’s room. Drastically wrong.
Brianna was gone.
Not in her bed. Not in the room.
Her sister had been improving, but for her to get out of bed on her own, walk somewhere—that was still beyond Brianna’s capabilities. Lily dropped the heavy satchels to the floor, racing to the adjoining dressing room. No Brianna.
Hand on her chest, her heart out of control, Lily rushed to the door, swinging it wide open.
Lord of Fates: A Complete Historical Regency Romance Series (3-Book Box Set) Page 60