by A. Gomez
His apartment was very modern with sleek, straight lines and an impressive kitchen. It had a very masculine feel to it but it was a mess. On the opposite side of the living room there was a wall, half of which was all windows from floor to ceiling and two massive sliding glass doors. There was a great view of the Chicago skyline, and off to the far right I could see the Chicago River. The city looked breathtaking at night. It felt like a mini castle in the sky. Behind me, Josh was frantically picking up and straightening things up.
“I’m sorry about the mess. I haven’t been here in six weeks and I don’t have a cleaning lady.”
“I don’t mind,” I said, sounding worn and tired. “I just want to take a shower. Can you show me where I can do that?”
“Come on, baby.” He held out his hand for me to take. “You can take it in my bathroom.”
I took his hand as he guided me through his dark apartment. “Why don’t you turn on your lights?”
“I wanted you to see the view first. It’s pretty amazing, right?”
I nodded, smiling, agreeing with him, “It’s absolutely amazing, Josh.”
He turned on the lights to his bedroom and bathroom for me. He went to close the blinds and threw a few things in his closet. I walked into the bathroom expecting it to be an awful pigsty and possibly have a weird smell like my brothers’ bathroom. Surprisingly, it was clean and smelled clean too. It was an impressive size with two sinks and granite countertops. I was surprised. I closed the door, started the shower and stripped out of my clothes and cross-body purse. I was so ready for a hot shower and to just lie in bed, relax and not think of anything. Something I hadn’t done in six whole weeks.
39
I stepped out of the shower, dried off and wrapped a towel around me. I looked through all the drawers, cabinets and anywhere else I could think of for a toothbrush. Nothing. I found nothing. Josh’s toothbrush it would be. I found a small comb, however, and used that to comb my hair. I felt better, more awake even. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked pale, worn and tired. I had dark circles under my eyes but that bruise Gator Leg had left on my cheek had faded nicely. That was a good thing. That way, my parents or Josh didn’t have to see it.
I walked out, still wrapped in the towel. Josh was already in his pajama bottoms and shirtless, looking tempting. He was sitting on his bed with his legs up, busy reading something on his laptop. I strode to his dresser and took out the first shirt I could find. I put it on before taking my towel off. I glanced over at Josh. Whatever he was reading had his full attention because it didn’t seem like he even knew I was out of the shower. I rummaged through his drawers to find some underwear and could not find any. Hm, he did say he hadn’t been here in weeks, so maybe he hadn’t done laundry. Or, maybe they were packed in an overnight bag somewhere, except I didn’t remember him bringing in a bag. No underwear it was then.
I took the towel back to the bathroom and decided to head to the kitchen for some water. Josh was still engrossed in his work and I didn’t want to disturb him. His face looked tense, almost angry. Whatever he was reading or doing had him looking intimidating. I did not want to be the one to bother that look.
I didn’t turn on the lights as I walked through his living room. I looked over my shoulder, admiring the view as I headed to the kitchen. We were twenty stories up and I could only slightly hear the wind. Whoever designed the building must have made sure to have noise-canceling glass walls. I found the glasses and noticed that his fridge had a water dispenser. I placed my glass in the cubby and pushed the button for water.
“Hey, green eyes.”
“Gah!” Josh startled me; I must have jumped three feet away from him.
“I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you but what did I say about just getting up and leaving?” Josh’s low, sultry voice and his shirtless torso made my pulse quicken. His eyes were dark and intense. He took my hands and pulled me to him, wrapping my arms around his waist.
“I know, I know, but you looked really busy and I didn’t want to bother you plus, I didn’t think you noticed I was out of the shower anyway.”
“Baby, I notice everything when it comes to you. And go ahead and bother me. I love you and you could never be a bother.” He clasped my back with his broad hands, pressing me against his chest. He was bending over and gently kissing me on the lips—once, twice, three times. My breath hitched at his touch. My hands ran up the sides of his ribcage, feeling every muscle. My right hand stopped on a rough, bumpy spot in between his ribs and his abs. My fingers traced the pattern. I looked down to see what I was touching but couldn’t make it out in the dark.
“It’s where I got shot that day in your office.”
“Does it hurt?” I wondered.
“No, it just aches every now and again.”
“I’m sorry for not giving you the benefit of the doubt, Josh.” I looked down at the floor, unseeingly. I felt ashamed.
“Shh…” He took my chin in his thumb and index finger, tilting my head up. “We’re together now and that’s all that matters. Let’s go to bed. I can see your dark circles even in this dim light.”
“I can see yours too,” I replied. “How much sleep did you get in these six weeks?”
“Almost nothing.”
“Yeah, I got slim and none and slim has just left the building,” I smirked.
“Baby,” he chuckled, “you sound just like your father. Those are the sort of things he would say.”
“Sounds like you’ve been spending a lot of time with my family.”
He took my hand, led me back to his bedroom with my water in his other hand. “I was with your parents every day for six weeks. Your brothers joined us shortly after you were kidnapped.”
“And my dad’s parents? When did they get here?”
“Just last week. Your father didn’t want to call them until we knew for sure we were able to get in and get you out.” He handed me my water. “Speaking of which, I called your father while you were in the shower to let them know we were at my apartment. I hope you don’t mind.” Josh was putting his laptop away and turning down the bed while I drank my water.
“Why would I mind? I completely forgot to call my mother or my father so I’m sure they’re grateful for you.” I yawned, placing the glass in the bathroom.
“Good. I told them you would call them in the morning once you woke up.”
I only nodded and crawled into bed with Josh. He turned out the lights and scooted closer to me, spooning me. His body heat engulfed me. It was heaven, lulling me to sleep. He held me tight, kissing the back of my neck.
“I love you, Isabel Grace,” he whispered.
I woke with a jolt, sitting up. I looked at my surroundings and nothing registered. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again. I reflexively reached over to the other side of the bed to make sure Betty Lou was still there but then quickly realized it wasn’t Betty Lou. It was Joshua Rockwall. There was no mistaking that rock hard chest. I let out a long exhale and let myself fall back on the pillow. I looked over at the clock—four in the morning. Shit! What was wrong with me? I covered my eyes with the palms of my hand, grabbing my hair by the roots. Was this part of PTSD? I’m supposed to know this, right? I was wide awake, although I felt extremely tired and drained. My thoughts were running a mile a minute. I had to do something to calm my thoughts. Should I call my mother, the therapist? She and my father probably hadn’t had a good night’s sleep either since I went missing, so waking her was out.
You can do this, Isabel. Help yourself. I decided to get up and go look at that amazing view Josh had. I sat up and sat at the edge of the bed for a moment, remembering that Josh didn’t want me to just get up and go without him. I looked over my shoulder at him. His angelic face looked so peaceful and he too looked like he needed to rest. I decided to go to the living room on my own without waking him. And it wasn’t as if his living room was on the other side of some massive house. It was just outside his bedroom.
&nb
sp; I padded to the large sliding doors, gazing out at Chicago’s striking skyline. I didn’t think I could ever get tired of looking at that view. The wind had quieted down and I began to see snow flurries. I looked up to see the snow was beginning to fall with more intensity. It looked so beautiful against the twinkling lights and the other skyscrapers, blanketing the rooftops and balconies of other buildings. I hadn’t noticed before that Josh had a good-size balcony with two chaise loungers and a small round table in between them with a dead plant resting on it. I pursed my lips, knowing that poor plant died of neglect because of me.
I thought of Betty and Caroline and wondered if they were well. I thought of the other girls and prayed that they were all able to get to sleep and stay asleep with no problems. I wondered if Debbie was still alive when Josh and the other agents finally arrived or had she bled to death? I shook my head and scoffed inwardly. This is not helping yourself, Dr. Langley. You can do better than this. I could, but for some reason, I just didn’t know how to begin.
“Isabel,” a deep, seductive voice from behind called out. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Josh holding his gun with the barrel pointed down to the floor. “Baby, why didn’t you wake me?”
“You looked so tired before we went to bed and then so peaceful asleep I couldn’t bring myself to wake you. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
He placed the gun on his coffee table and padded over to me. I turned my attention back to the skyline. He stood behind me, rubbing my arms and planting kisses on the side of my head.
“Your view is beautiful,” I muttered. “I can’t sleep.”
“What can I do to help?”
“Nothing,” I sighed, still gazing out the windows and doors.
Josh was quiet. I could feel him getting a little agitated. “I should’ve brought you here from the beginning,” he breathed.
“Yes, you should have,” I said dryly.
He clasped my upper arms, holding them tight as he laid his forehead against the top of my head. My words must have stung. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. His breathing was starting to pick up. “I should’ve listened to you when you asked me to take you home with me.”
“I didn’t ask, Josh, I begged,” I replied, dryly again.
“Baby, I am so sorry. Whatever you’re going through right now is all my fault. You could’ve been here with me, safe.”
I whirled. “I shot, stabbed and killed several men…and possibly one woman, Josh!” I yelled at Josh, not really understanding why I was yelling at him. It wasn’t his fault at all. He was just doing his job. Tears began to pool in my eyes. I could feel my hands shaking. “I lived every day thinking that any moment another large man was going to be ordered by Chang to take Betty Lou and sell her or rent her out for the night. Or worse, attack her, and I wouldn’t be able to stop him! I didn’t know how long I could protect her or me, for that matter.” My voice was trembling and the tears were running down my cheeks. I was beginning to sob uncontrollably. “When I saw that awful man go at Betty,” I said, sobbing, “I didn’t stop to think. I just killed him, Josh.” I was getting hysterical. “And Betty Lou saw me kill him.” I broke down and fell on the floor to my knees in front of Josh, sobbing hysterically. Josh was on the floor with me, holding me.
“I can still hear the guttural sound he was making when I kept stabbing him in the neck. Those damn scissors were too short and he wouldn’t die so I kept stabbing until I knew he was dead.” I could hardly get the words out through my sobs. “Every day and night I saw the girls going to their appointments and some of them wouldn’t come back. I couldn’t save them. I couldn’t stop Chang. Why didn’t I kill him?” I yelled. “Those bastards shot my dog!”
Josh pulled me close to his chest, holding me tight. I began to push him away, hitting him, feeling like I didn’t deserve his comfort or compassion. I was yelling at him to let me go. I wanted to run away. Run away from this pain, from this guilt that consumed me. I hated him for not bringing me here sooner. I hated him for not coming to rescue us sooner. I hated life and all its ugliness.
I tried to stand up and get out of his grip but he was too strong. I was about to throat-punch him when he grabbed my wrists, turned me around and held me tight against him. I was whipping my head from side to side and still sobbing hysterically, yelling at him. He just held me, waiting for me to calm down. I could hear his breathing become somewhat harsh. He must have been struggling to keep his grip on me.
“Isabel, you did what you needed to do to survive. I’m glad you did what you did, otherwise we wouldn’t be here together.” His hot breath was like a zing of electricity through me and a flood of memories of our first morning together came rushing back to me. “I’m sorry about Samson, baby.”
I stopped struggling against his grip. I was out of breath. He didn't let me go but he loosened his grip just a bit. I slumped down all the way to the floor on my knees and let my head hang. Josh slumped with me and turned me around so I could face him. He lifted my chin up with his finger so I could look at him as he still held both my hands in one of his. He was so beautiful. My thoughts were jumbled and my will was quickly beginning to crumble. I remembered how much I wanted this man… how much I still wanted this man. I wanted to kiss him. “Josh,” I breathed, “let me kiss you.”
He froze, eyeing me suspiciously, unsure of it all.
“Really, I promise.” I lifted myself up, kissing him hard, my teeth tugging at his lower lip.
He slowly let my right hand go. I quickly wrapped it around his neck, pulling myself up to him. He let my left hand go and lifted me up to a seated position on top of him. I was now straddling him. I held his face in my hands, my tongue in his mouth. He was gently sucking my tongue and biting my lower lip. I groaned, wanting more.
I pulled away to gaze at him. He looked intently into my eyes and I into his. His eyes looked worried. I must have given him a good scare just then. I kissed both his eyes.
“I love you, Joshua Rockwall,” I whispered.
He cupped my backside, pulling me closer to him. I could feel his erection between my legs. It was thick and large.
“Baby, you’re not wearing any panties,” he said, sounding pleasantly surprised.
“I didn’t have any clean ones and you didn’t have any in your dresser.”
He chuckled. “I’m going commando, too. I haven’t done laundry in six weeks. I was lucky if I got a shower in.” He squeezed my bare behind a few times and ran his hands up and down my waist. I closed my eyes, inhaling sharply, savoring his touch.
“Better?” he asked.
I nodded, kissing him gently on the lips.
“Come on, baby, let me take you to bed,” he said, kissing my neck.
I stopped him from getting up, pushing down on his shoulders. I gazed at his beautiful face, tracing his lips with my thumbs and running my hands through his beard. His hands were resting on my thighs. His expression was laced with concern. I slowly took my t-shirt off and dropped it on the floor. My breasts were swollen and my nipples were erect and hard.
“Isabel…” he gasped.
“Take me to bed, Josh, but not to sleep.”
“Baby, no, not like this.” He was squeezing my thighs. “You’re too upset. You’re not thinking straight.”
I took his hands and placed them on my swollen breasts. “Please, Josh,” I pleaded. “I need you. I want you. I want this.” I leaned in and tenderly began to kiss his neck and jaw. “Are you going to make me beg again?”
“No, baby, never,” he said, his breath jagged.
“Good,” I said, kissing his lips, parting them and only ever so slightly letting my tongue in his mouth just enough to touch the tip of his.
“Isabel, are you sure?” he asked as I was kissing the corners of his mouth. His eyes wide open, gazing at me.
“Yessss,” I breathed, biting his earlobe. He groaned, running his hands up the sides of my waist and then down to my hips. “I can’t say no to you. I don’t want to say n
o to you anymore.”
I could feel his smile on my cheek as I bit his other earlobe. He slipped two fingers inside me.
“Aahh,” I moaned, throwing my head back and arching my back.
“Baby, you are so wet.” He pulled his fingers out, grabbed both my breasts and tugged my nipples, sending fire through my veins.
He grabbed the back of my head and kissed me fervently. Next thing I knew, he was carrying me to his bed. He gently laid me down, only stopping his kiss long enough to move me up higher on the bed. My heart was racing. I was nervous. I didn’t know if it would hurt. I didn’t know if I would be any good at this. I didn’t know if he would be disappointed with me. I wanted to please him.
Josh quickly stripped out of his bottoms and climbed in between my legs. He began to trail kisses from my knee, going to the apex of my thigh and up to my navel, bypassing my groin.
“No,” I groaned, complaining. I ran my fingers though his long hair.
“Patience, baby. This is your first time and I intend to do it right,” he said nipping at my navel. He slowly moved to my other leg, only this time he was nipping and sucking. I moaned, feeling the exquisite sensation all throughout my body.
“Please,” I begged, letting go of his hair and gripping the sheets above my head.
His lips closed around my clit, gently sucking and tugging. I nearly convulsed. My breathing was harsher and my back was arching higher.
“Oh, baby, you’re so responsive.” He gently blew on my clit. The sweet sensation drove me wild and I began to squirm under him. “Be still, baby, I’m going to flip you over now.”
He sat on his knees, grabbed one of my legs, bringing it to meet my other leg and then in one fluid movement flipped me onto my stomach. He squeezed my backside with both hands and then began to kiss and bite.
“Get on your hands and knees,” he ordered in his sultry voice. I quickly obeyed. He leaned against me, placing his chest on my back, cupping both my breasts, tugging and rolling my nipples between his fingers. I could feel his erection between my cheeks. He slowly and torturously ran his right hand down the side of my body to my hip, down the back of my thigh and then slipped two fingers inside me. I moaned loudly, pushing my backside into his fingers. Heat and electricity consumed me. I wanted him now.
