by B R Snow
“Yeah, like that’s gonna happen,” I said, shaking my head as I climbed out of bed.
I did my best slow lumber down the hall, and a few moments later I saw both of them standing near the main entrance talking on their radios.
“What do you mean you didn’t see her?” Detective Williams said.
“Jimmy,” the Chief said. “You got anything? Okay, hang tight. I’ll get back to you in a minute.”
“Are you kidding me?” Detective Williams said, shaking his head. “All right, just stay there and keep an eye on her car.”
They both lowered their radios and stared at each other, bewildered.
“I don’t believe it,” Detective Williams said. “Where the heck did she go?”
Henrietta approached at a brisk pace. She came to a stop and glanced back and forth at us obviously waiting for an explanation.
“Don’t look at me,” I snapped. “Talk to the Fife twins.”
“I said, shut it,” the Chief said, glaring at me.
“She was ten feet away. And there were two of you,” I said, shaking my head. “Unfreakingbelievable.”
“How would you like to spend the night in jail?” the Chief said.
“On what charge?” I said, returning his glare. “Impersonating a cop? No wait, that’s your thing.”
“Maybe I’ll just lock you up to teach you some manners, young lady.”
“Nice try, Chief. But you need to lower your voice a notch and say it slower,” I said, making a face at him. Then I stared off into the distance shaking my head. “Unfreakingbelievable.”
“Would one of you care to explain what’s going on?” Henrietta said, her patience rapidly disappearing. “I heard one of the emergency exit alarms go off.”
“She got away,” Detective Williams said.
“The killer actually showed up?” Henrietta said, baffled.
“Yeah, she did,” the Chief said.
“How on earth did she escape?” she said.
Detective Williams and Chief Abrams exchanged chagrined looks with each other.
“We sort of got stuck in the door coming out of the bathroom,” the Chief said softly. “And she got out of the room and ran down the hall.”
“No, I don’t think she went down the hall,” I said, shaking my head. “The footsteps didn’t last long enough.”
“Well, nobody has seen her outside,” Detective Williams said. “And her car is still parked out front.”
“Maybe somebody picked her up in a different car,” the Chief said.
“No, my guys would have seen it.”
“It’s not a car,” I said, heading for the glass doors directly across from the entrance. “Come on.”
“Where are you going?” the Chief said.
“Down to the dock,” I said, pushing the double doors open. “She’s going by boat.”
“Boat?” Detective Williams said.
“We have a dock off the front of the hospital we use for patients arriving by boat,” Henrietta said, by way of explanation. “Just follow the path down.”
“I know where the dock is, Henrietta,” the Chief said, annoyed.
“There’s no need to get snarky with me, Chief.”
“Just try not to trip over each other on the way down,” I said, over my shoulder as I broke into my fastest lumber.
Despite my best efforts, both cops soon passed me with ease, and by the time I caught up with them they were standing in bright light under a metal lamppost that was bolted into the dock and scanning the water for signs of a boat. I bent over and took several deep breaths.
“Are you okay?” the Chief said, giving me a quick once-over.
“I’ll…be fine,” I said, standing upright. “Man, I really need to get to the gym. You see anything?”
“No, it’s pretty dark out there,” Detective Williams said.
“Well, it is night,” I snapped, still extremely annoyed with both cops.
“You can drop the attitude, Suzy,” the detective said, pointing downriver to his right. “Hang on. What’s that?”
“That is what’s called a boat, Detective,” I said.
“You’re really starting to annoy me.”
“Well, you’re not doing much for my mood, either. So let’s call it even,” I said, then frowned at the approaching vessel. “That’s Rooster’s boat.”
“It certainly is,” the Chief said, heading to the other end of the dock to meet the boat.
Rooster idled the boat next to the dock, and he grinned up at us. Titan, his German Shepherd who rarely left his side, was sitting next to him.
“Well, I know this isn’t a greeting party,” Rooster said. “Don’t tell me she got away.”
“Yeah, she escaped,” Detective Williams said. “Hey, how did you know what we were doing?”
“Small town,” Rooster said with a shrug. “You let her get away? How the heck did you manage to do that? There’s two of you.”
“You might not want to go there, Rooster. It’s a bit of a sore spot,” I said, kneeling down to pet the German Shepherd. “Hey, Titan. Who’s the good boy?” I rubbed the dog’s head, then stood up and arched my back that was beginning to cramp.
“We think she used a boat to get away,” Detective Williams said, staring back out at the water.
“I’m sure you’re right,” Rooster said, nodding.
“How do you know that?”
“Because somebody just stole one of my rentals,” Rooster said.
“And you followed the boat here?” Detective Williams said.
“Unfreakingbelievable,” I mumbled under my breath, but still loud enough for the cop to hear me.
“Why else would I be out here in the middle of the night?”
“Don’t ask them to think, Rooster. You’ll only confuse them,” I said. “Did you see who it was?”
“I didn’t get a good look,” he said. “But it was definitely a woman.”
“Jessie,” I said, then glanced around for confirmation.
“It has to be her,” the Chief said. “Well, they don’t know their way around the River, so my guess is that they’ll pull into shore someplace nearby. Maybe they have a second car parked somewhere on the edge of town.”
“They won’t be going very far right away,” I said, reaching for my phone.
“Why on earth not?” Detective Williams said.
“Because I have her dogs. She won’t leave town without them.”
“Why not?” the detective said, staring at me.
“You’re not a dog person, are you, Detective Williams?”
“No, I’m more of a cat guy,” he said, shrugging.
“That’s not the only reason she isn’t going far,” Rooster said.
We all looked at him and waited for him to continue.
“Oh, that’s right,” I said, grinning at Rooster.
“They’ll be running out of gas in the very near future,” Rooster said, scratching one of Titan’s ears.
“I’m surrounded by savants,” Detective Williams said, exasperated. “How on earth do you know that?”
“Because I always make sure my rentals have just enough gas in them to get them out on the water, but not far enough to get away.”
“And that makes it easy to catch the thieves and have them arrested,” Detective Williams said, nodding.
“Man, you’re on fire tonight, Detective,” I deadpanned. “Pity you didn’t show a bit more of that flash earlier.”
“Suzy, will you just let it go?” the Chief snapped.
“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” I said, dialing the number and putting the phone on speaker.
“Hey, you’re alive,” Josie said. “That’s good news. What’s up?”
“Well, she showed up,” I said, then glared at both cops. “Then she got away.”
“She got away? How the heck did she do that? There’s two of them,” Josie said, obviously surprised.
“I’d let them speak for themselves, but I doubt if they feel like explaini
ng at the moment.”
“Oh, they’re there with you? Hi, Chief, Detective Williams.”
They both mumbled hellos.
“Hey, Josie.”
“Rooster, what are you doing there?” Josie said.
“Oh, just the usual. I’m trying to hunt down a stolen boat,” Rooster said.
“Did somebody steal one of your rentals again?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, they won’t get far, right?” Josie said, laughing. “Hey, don’t forget. Titan is due for his shots.”
“I’ll bring him in next week,” Rooster said.
“Are we about done with the chit-chat?” Detective Williams said. “It’s really cold out here.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it, Detective. I doubt you could even catch a cold,” I said.
“How many years do you think I’d get for shooting an unarmed civilian?” Detective Williams said to the Chief.
“At least twenty,” the Chief said. “Unless the judge considered the mitigating factors.”
“Mitigating factors?”
“Her,” the Chief said, nodding in my direction.
I made a face at him then focused on the phone.
“Did you get a phone call?”
“Yup, just like you said she would, Missy called about an hour ago and said she’d be stopping by to pick up the labs.”
“Did you take them down to the Inn and put them in one of the condos?”
“I did. And they are currently resting comfortably with Rocky and Bullwinkle,” Josie said.
“Good call.”
“Rocky and Bullwinkle?” Detective Williams said, raising an eyebrow.
“Our nighttime security guards,” I said.
“You have two guys working dog security?” the detective said, confused.
“No, two Rottweilers,” I said, then spoke to Josie. “Don’t worry, I doubt if she’s going to get a chance to get over there. But to be safe, just stay up at the house. I’ll ask Detective Williams to send a car over to keep an eye on the Inn. If Missy does show up, she won’t get within twenty feet of her dogs.”
“Yeah, Rocky and Bullwinkle get pretty cranky when they’re woken up in the middle of the night,” Josie said. “Hey, does this mean we’re going to be able to keep the labs?”
“Geez, I hadn’t thought about that,” I said. “Yeah, I guess it might.”
“Oh, no. Not the briar patch,” Josie said, laughing.
“What do you think? Would we put them up for adoption or just keep them as part of the family?”
“I’d love to keep them, but if we found the perfect family for them, that would be good, too.”
“But we have to keep them together,” Josie said. “There’s no way we could split them up.”
“No, of course not. That wouldn’t be fair to them.”
“Who are you people?” Detective Williams said to no one in particular.
“Why don’t you folks hop in the boat, and we’ll go on a little scouting mission,” Rooster said.
“It’s a little dark, isn’t it?” Detective Williams said.
“Not with this,” Rooster said, flipping on a searchlight that hit the detective right in the eyes. “Oh, sorry about that, Detective.”
Detective Williams shielded his eyes, waved the searchlight away, then climbed into the boat. He flinched when Titan turned around to sniff him, and he stood very still in the middle of the boat and kept a close eye on the dog.
“Look, I gotta run,” I said. “I’m going to be hungry when I get home. Is there anything left?”
“I put a pretty good dent in the Shepherd’s Pie, but there’s plenty left.”
“Good. Later.”
“Be careful.”
I slipped my phone back in my pocket and followed Chief Abrams into the boat.
“Which way do you think they went?” Detective Williams said, glancing up and down the River.
“I’m going to guess that way,” Rooster said, pointing upriver.
“Why?”
“Because if they went the other way, there’s a good chance they’d end back at my place,” Rooster said.
“Good thinking,” Detective Williams said, nodding and pointing upriver. “Yeah, let’s go that way.”
“Unfreakingbelievable.”
Chapter 22
Instead of driving slow and sweeping the waterline with the searchlight, Rooster roared away from the dock. The Chief and I, as veteran River Rats, were accustomed to rapid acceleration on the water, and we both held onto the side of the boat for support when the boat surged forward. However, Detective Williams was standing in the middle of the boat with nothing to hold onto, and he tumbled backward and ended up flat on his back against the transom. Rooster glanced over his shoulder when he heard the noise, but didn’t slow down. Detective Williams got to his feet, then slowly inched his way toward the bow after the boat had planed.
“Aren’t you going a little fast for a search effort?” the Detective said, struggling to make himself heard above the roar of the engine.
“Yup,” Rooster said, nodding without slowing down.
“Okay, thanks for clearing that up,” the detective said, shaking his head.
“He’s going upriver until he’s sure the boat is downriver from us,” I yelled. “Once they’re out of gas, the current is going to grab them and they’ll starting drifting back toward town.”
“Wouldn’t the boat have oars or a paddle?”
“I’m sure it does,” I said.
“Then couldn’t they just row further upriver?” Detective Williams said.
“I guess they could try. But the River is pretty narrow in this section, and the current is strong. It would only take them a couple of paddle strokes to figure it out and then let the River do its thing. You know, just go with the flow.”
“Got it.”
Rooster headed for the center of the main channel then slowed down. When he was satisfied with the boat’s position, he turned the engine off, and we immediately felt the current begin to pull the boat downriver.
“I see what you mean,” Detective Williams said.
Rooster turned the searchlight on and began to slowly sweep it back and forth across the waterline.
“There’s no way they could have gotten further upriver?” the Chief said.
“Nah,” Rooster said without taking his eyes off the water. “I only keep a tiny amount of gas in my rentals. After I had three stolen in a week about five years ago, I learned my lesson. Either they’ll be out here in the channel rowing with the current, or they’ll be over on our right trying to make it back to shore.”
We continued to drift and stare out over the water in silence for several minutes then I caught a glimpse of something off to my right. I nudged Chief Abrams and Rooster and pointed. Rooster swung the searchlight around until it was focused directly on the boat that Jessie was frantically rowing about two hundred yards from shore. When she saw the beam of the searchlight, she began rowing even harder. But after a few strokes, she realized it was futile and placed the oars back in their locks. Chief Abrams took over searchlight duties from Rooster who started the engine and slowly headed toward their boat. Rooster positioned our boat directly upriver from them, then put the boat in neutral and we began drifting straight toward the two women who were huddled close and obviously whispering.
“Show us your hands,” Detective Williams said loudly, his hands reaching for his gun. “Hands. Let me see those pretty manicures.”
“Really, Detective?” I said, shaking my head. “Show me your manicures?”
“Okay, I’m done. That’s all I’m going to listen to for one night.”
“Don’t bet on it,” I said, then caught the dirty look the Chief was giving me and let it go.
Both women slowly raised their hands, and I couldn’t miss the fear in their eyes.
“Well done. Now, just keep them up in the air where I can see them.”
We continued to drift toward them,
and Chief Abrams grabbed the bow line without taking his eyes off them. I noticed Titan’s fur bristling when he spotted the stolen rental, and his guttural growl echoed across the water. If being out on the water at night in a small boat out of gas with two cops about to descend and arrest you for murder wasn’t enough to send a chill up your spine, I was pretty sure Titan’s growl would do the trick.
When we were about fifty feet away from the boat, it began to rock, and Jessie appeared to lose her balance, and she reached for the side of the boat to catch herself.
“Hands,” Detective Williams said, his gun at his side.
“Hold your horses,” Jessie snapped. “I just didn’t want to fall in.”
What played out over the next several seconds will definitely be retold on a regular basis over the coming years. And I doubt if the story will need much embellishment.
Jessie wobbled back and forth on her legs until she got her balance, then stood straight up, raised her arm and fired at us in one smooth motion.
I heard a loud whoosh and saw a flash of light heading straight for our boat I immediately recognized. Detective Williams raised his gun and prepared to fire back, and I jumped toward him.
“No!” I screamed as I shoved him hard. “Don’t shoot. It’s just a flare gun.”
“I can’t believe I forgot about the flare gun,” Rooster said.
Those were the last words I remember hearing before the flare hit me square in the shoulder then bounced off into the water with a loud hiss. I dropped like a rock onto the deck of the boat, smelled a blend of phosphorous and burning fleece and flesh, and heard the unmistakable sound of someone falling into the water.
Titan starting barking loudly and hopped over the seat and hovered next to me. Rooster grabbed a towel, quickly dipped it in the water, then began swatting at the flames that were beginning to make short work of my coat. My shoulder was initially numb, then an intense burning sensation emerged that my neurons didn’t know how to process. Rooster got the flames out, then gently unzipped and helped me out of my jacket. Dazed, I heard Chief Abrams’ voice.
“Suzy?” he said, leaning over me. “Are you all right?”
“I think so,” I managed to get out. “But I think I’m on fire.”
“No, the flames are out,” Rooster said, dropping to his knees and resting my head in his lap. He looked up at Chief Abrams who continued to stare down at me in disbelief that I’d been shot. “She’ll be fine. You better check on him.”
