by K. Webster
He draped his arm around me and pulled me close. Blinking back the tears, I continued. “I didn’t eat hardly at all for two weeks. He would try and contact me but I ignored him. Pepper also helped take care of keeping him away from me. My depression was so bad, that she convinced me to see a doctor and I was prescribed an antidepressant. On the night of our graduation, I ran into his mother. I was fighting to keep it together. He found me and pulled me in for a hug. My walls were finally crumbling and I felt like I could possibly forgive him. We shared a kiss that promised hope for a relationship again. When we parted and the bitch he had fucked hugged him, I lost it. The memories came crashing back down on me and I realized I would never be able to get past it.
“I went back to my dorm room and tried to drown my sorrows with medication and vodka. Somewhere along the fuzzy way, I thought it would be a good idea to take the entire bottle of pills.”
Jackson tensed beside me but I continued. “Before I completely faded away, I called him and told him what I had done. He rushed over and shoved his hand down my throat, causing me to vomit. The doctors told me that, had he not been able to get some of it out of my system, I would have died. My body was so emaciated from not eating that it wouldn’t have been able to handle the drug and alcohol concoction well. And even though I feel like I owe him for saving my life, I can’t help but feel like I wouldn’t have ever fallen to that point if it weren’t for his cheating in the first place.”
Jackson kissed my temple as the server placed our fajitas in front of us. We started fixing up our fajitas when he spoke. “Are you uncomfortable working with him? We can let him go. I don’t want him harassing you,” he pronounced, taking a bite.
“No, I feel like we can be civil with each other. Even though I am extremely unhappy with how things turned out, I don’t want him to lose his job. I can’t help but still care about him. It will just never again be in that way. My heart is too fragile.”
He swallowed and looked at me. “He’s the reason for your game?” he asked as understanding flooded his features.
I nodded and took a bite of my fajita. Oh my God, it was amazing. “Mmmm, Jackson, this is delicious,” I marveled while I chewed.
He laughed and whispered in my ear. “What did I tell you about that moaning? I’m ready to leave the fajitas and have dessert.”
His words gave me chills but the fajitas were too good to pass up. “Sorry, Charlie. The fajitas win this time,” I teased, laughing and taking another bite.
The rest of our dinner went on amicably as we chatted about easier things. I had fun telling stories about Pepper and Olive. I loved those girls. His stories about him and Jordan were hilarious. From what I gathered, Jackson was the serious one and Jordan was the easygoing brother. He talked fondly of his mother but never mentioned his dad.
“So where is your dad?” I wondered, pushing my plate away. I was completely stuffed. He grumbled but didn’t answer right away. I turned to look at him but he avoided my gaze.
“He’s dead.” That’s all he offered. I waited but he didn’t elaborate. Hello, Cold Jackson.
I pulled my margarita closer to me and sipped it. The silence dragged on and I was practically squirming in my seat with how uncomfortable it was. Finally, I couldn’t stand it any longer. “Jackson, I’m sorry if I hit a nerve. I just wanted to get to know you better. Can you please take me home? I’m tired,” I sighed.
As if snapping out of it, he turned to look at me. The pained look on his face told me he still hurt from his father’s death. “No. I mean, I’m sorry. I want to spend more time with you. I told you I’m trying. My past isn’t wonderful either, Andi. Please spend the night with me. I know this started out as a game but I want to get to know you better too,” he pled, pulling me to him.
I turned to study his face for a moment. He looked so broken.
“Okay, but let’s swing by my place first so I can pack a bag.” I cuddled into him.
He paid our tab and pulled me out of the booth. Leaning over, he kissed me softly on my lips. “Come on. I want to take you somewhere first,” he spoke mischievously. I was a sucker for his boyish charm and let him lead me out of the restaurant.
The not-so-dark days…
Pepper is hovering. It is so unlike her, but she won’t leave me alone. I have to figure out a way to convince her that I’m okay. She won’t do anything except go to work, and even then, I practically have to push her out the door.
“Want me to go with you to see Dr. Sweeney?” she asks while she pops her gum at me. “No, Pepper. I can go alone. You haven’t visited your dad lately. Maybe you should pay him a visit,” I suggest to her.
She pulls her feet out of my lap and sits up. “Andi, are you okay? I mean, I know you seem more like yourself, but I still feel like something is missing. Please tell me if you’re not okay. I can’t lose my best friend,” she confides, eyes tearing up.
I pull her foot back to me and continue to paint her big toe nail. “I’m fine, Pepper. Dr. Sweeney is helping me realize that I am better off without Bray. I’ve felt the best I have felt in a really long time. I am thankful for your careful watching over me, but I’m going to be okay so you can take it down a few notches. Enjoy your new job at the museum because I’m doing just fine.”
She stares at me for a few moments and nods once. Continuing to pop her gum while deep in thought, she lets me finish her toes and never brings it up again.
We drove for about thirty minutes across town. When we got to a charming little street with townhouses adorned with boxed flowers in the windows and ornate light fixtures on the porches, I could hardly contain my excitement.
“Where are we going?” I asked, admiring the homes as we passed. “You’ll see,” he teased. We sat holding hands until we pulled up in front of one of the homes. He helped me out of the car and we walked up to the front door. Before we could knock, the door flew open, revealing a willowy, dark-haired woman. Her eyes were twinkling when she saw our joined hands and she smiled widely. She was quite beautiful for an older woman.
“Hey, Mom. This is Andi,” he greeted, introducing us. My belly fluttered with nervousness at the fact Jackson had brought me to meet his mother. I wish he would have prepared me a little better. She pulled me in for a hug and I couldn’t help but giggle at her forwardness. Jordan must get his affectionate personality from his mom.
“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Compton,” I laughed.
“Oh rubbish, call me Trish. You’ll make me feel old otherwise,” she scolds me.
I chuckle because it reminded me of Jordan yesterday.
“Please, come inside. I just made some coffee and there’s a cobbler in the oven.” We followed her inside and I admired the way she had decorated her home. It was eccentric but warm, just like Trish. I instantly loved her. My own mother was cold and distant, so I reveled in Trish’s attention.
She motioned for us to sit at the small table in the kitchen while she went to the oven to pull out the cobbler. From the smell of it, we were having blackberry. My mouth watered just thinking about it.
Jackson pulled my hand into his lap and winked at me. After Trish scooped ice cream on our cobblers, she brought them to us. Jackson and I dug right in while she poured us some coffee before joining us at the table.
“So tell me a little about yourself, Andi,” Trish said.
I closed my eyes when I took a bite because it was absolutely heavenly. “Wow, this is delicious, Trish. Um, let’s see. I graduated from Columbia with a Bachelor’s in Architecture. I room with my two best friends, Pepper and Olive. This summer I started photographing buildings. I found it very therapeutic. And most obviously, I love food. I woke up one day recently with a new appreciation for it,” I remarked, glancing at Jackson, who was listening aptly.
The photography had started when my doctor told me I needed to find something to focus on. A hobby. Nothing had interested me whatsoever. One day, while staring at a beautiful building in the heart of the city, I wished I could fre
eze the image and commit it to memory. The idea to photograph it had come at that moment and I’d been doing it ever since. I’d even taken an online course to learn more about my thrift store camera.
“Well, Jackie here must be smitten with you. He doesn’t bring around girls. Not since Nadia,” she confided knowingly.
He stopped her from revealing more, “Mom, Andi doesn’t want to hear about past relationships and neither do I.”
She frowned but changed the subject. “How’s Jordie? He’s too busy these days running the firm to come see me. Tell him I’m mad that I haven’t seen his precious face in three weeks,” she said, apparently miffed.
He laughed at her pouty face. “Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll take pleasure in telling him that I’m now your favorite,” he grinned as he teased her.
After we finished our coffee, Jackson stood up from the table. “Mom, we need to get going. It’s late and I need to take Andi home,” he lied through his teeth. I rolled my eyes at him but stood up and grabbed hold of his hand.
“Okay, kids, but I want you both over for dinner on Saturday. If you can get your brother to come, please do. Tell him to bring a date,” she winked at Jackson.
She hugged us both and walked us to the door. “Hold on a sec!” Trish scurried back into the kitchen and came back with a plate covered with foil and a thermos. “Give this to George.” She smiled broadly.
Jackson laughed and shook his head, taking it from her as we headed out the door.
The not-so-dark days…
“Andi, I want you to find a new focus. Now that you’re out of school and are no longer with Bray, what do you do with your time besides work at the café?” Dr. Sweeney asks me.
I frown because I do absolutely nothing. All I do is replay the events of the last few weeks over and over. When Pepper isn’t busy trying to distract me, it is all I can think about. I can hardly sleep because the thoughts consume me. Even though I am no longer distraught, I still can’t stop them.
“I don’t know what I would do. There isn’t much I care about besides Pepper,” I tell him honestly.
“I know, Andi, which is why you need to find something. Try some things out. Yoga, kickboxing, reading, pottery, bunko—anything besides what you’re doing now. You need to do some soul searching. That’s your homework this week. Find something new to think about. I have faith in you that you’ll find something.
“Andi, I also want you to try and go on a date. You are a young, attractive woman, and I fear you might end up a little jaded. I’m not saying that you need to go out and find a husband. What I’m saying is that you need to have fun and get out—without Pepper. She’s your crutch, and you need to learn to stand on your own again,” he told me.
I feel nauseous at the idea of dating, but I nod my head to appease Dr. Sweeney. “Good. Now don’t show up next week without a new hobby,” he instructs, smiling at me as we conclude our session.
When we arrived at the apartment, I made him stay in the car while I ran up to grab my things. Mostly, I wanted to tell the girls about my day without Jackson in earshot.
I walked in the front door to see Olive reading a novel on the couch and Pepper glaring at her laptop. Tossing my keys and purse on the table by the door, I ran over to Olive and kissed her forehead. She smiled at me and blew me a kiss.
Making my way to Pepper, I closed her laptop when I plopped down beside her. She huffed in annoyance but couldn’t stop the smile that formed on her face. “What are you so happy about, Andi?” she asked grumpily.
I hugged her and laughed. “I had the weirdest day today. Jackson is outside waiting in the car. I’m going to spend the night with him tonight.”
“Hold up. As of yesterday, he was an ass. What’s so different about today?” she demanded.
Olive chimed in before I could answer. “Andi, I am just blown away by the fact that you’re still seeing the guy and the weekend is over!” She clapped her hands excitedly.
Pepper and I giggled at her. She was so damn cute. “Well, things were looking up this morning. I was in Man-Killer mode and even left the panties at home,” I explained, winking at Pepper, who just rolled her eyes. Olive gasped at my proclamation.
I continued my story. “So I got to work and there was a note from Jackson saying we should have lunch in his office again. I was on cloud nine when I went into the conference room to meet the new architect I’ll be assisting. Jordan was his normal happy self. But Jackson—his face lit up when he saw me and I almost melted,” I tell them dreamily.
“Go on, Jennifer Aniston,” Pepper smarted off to me.
“Anyway, the other chair turned and it was—”
Cutting me off, Pepper sneers, “Fucking Brayden.”
I nod my head and continue. “So Fucking Brayden got up and hugged me, a little too long for comfort. When we pulled apart, Jackson was killing him with death rays that were shooting from his eyes.
“The meeting was short, but afterwards, Bray stopped at my desk and told me how pretty I was. No surprise there,” I winked at them. “I worked and worked until I realized I had been stood up for lunch by Jackson.”
“No fucking way. What do you see in that asshole?” Pepper fumed.
I sighed but continued. “Well, Bray realized that I hadn’t eaten yet by around two and fetched me a sandwich when I nearly fainted. I ended up dropping the lid and he got an accidental view of the goods.” I paused, letting it sink in.
“Oh,” Olive whispered.
“God, Andi, you are such a hooch,” Pepper scolds me.
I laugh again. “He acted all shocked that I wasn’t wearing panties, and Jackson walked up, interrupting his peep show. He looked pissed but then Brayden went off on him for standing me up.”
Pepper chuckled because, even though she hates Bray, she liked to see Jackson get the short end of the stick too.
“So he must have felt like an ass because he apologized and disappeared to his office. He called me in there a little while later and fucked me on the credenza.”
Olive screeched and Pepper cursed at me.
“And his dick was still in me when Bray knocked on the door. Jackson told him that I’d be right over after we finished up and proceeded to clean me up with Bray on the other side.”
Pepper was shaking her head at me, muttering under hear breath, and Olive was fifty shades of crimson.
“So then Fucking Bray decided that he thinks I’m so hot and he wants me so bad. Again, no surprise there. I basically told him to fuck off and bolted from his office.
“Here’s where it gets good. So Pepper here canceled on our wine date because she lost her main sponsor. I ran and told Jordan so he would call her and take over the spot.”
Pepper interrupted me. “Hold up, you had a hand in that?” she interrogated, agitation lacing her voice.
I nodded beaming, completely proud of saving her ass. “Yep. How’d it go?”
Rolling her eyes, she groaned, “Well, I told him I’d think about it. He’s so damn sure of himself, like he knows I’ll agree to his requests. I’ve been trying all night to email other potential sponsors, but most everyone has already made commitments and can’t agree to such a costly sponsorship so late in the year. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
This time I rolled my eyes, making Olive giggle. “Duh, Pep. You take the Compton Enterprises sponsorship. Really, it’s a no-brainer. Now call him and agree!” I griped at her.
She huffed, picked up her laptop, and stalked to her room, ignoring me. I shrugged my shoulders and went into my own room. Quickly, I packed all of my things for tomorrow and headed back out into the living room. I waved to Olive and ran back downstairs to Jackson.
The not-so-dark days…
The camera costs just fifty bucks so I buy it. I begin snapping pictures of whatever I can find just to learn how the thing works. Getting the hang of it, I start taking snapshots of buildings in the early morning sun when I am nearly blinded by the reflection of the windows. I also take pictur
es of them on gloomy days as the rain saturates their surfaces, giving the buildings a gleaming façade.
Photography consumes me. I research it on the internet. I borrow books from the library on the subject. And even participate in an online class to learn more about apertures, ISO, f/stops, and natural light.
Pepper allows me to litter the apartment with photos of the buildings so I can make critiques and choose my favorites. Dr. Sweeney will be so proud. Now, for the whole dating concept…
When I climbed back into the car, Jackson was sprawled in his seat, scrolling through his phone. He looked so relaxed and content. Tossing my stuff into the floor, I slammed the car door shut and pounced on him.
He laughed when I started kissing his face all over, trying to be obnoxious. I was in a playful mood this evening. Finally, he palmed my cheeks and held me still so he could kiss my lips. We made out like two teenagers during the short drive to his loft. Helping me out of the car, he grabbed my bags and we practically ran to the elevators. When one opened, he dragged me inside.
Realizing we were alone, he pinned me to the wall and slid his hand up my skirt. I gasped as he slipped a finger inside of me. His mouth found my neck as he pulled his finger in and out at an agonizingly slow speed. I was moaning and begging him to go faster when the doors to the penthouse opened up.
Pulling his finger from me, he took my hand and led me into his loft. Immediately, he jerked off my jacket and began pulling off my camisole. I jerked at his belt, efficiently whipped it off of him, and started working at the button on his pants. When I successfully got the zipper down, I yanked down his pants and boxers, freeing his cock.
Stepping out of them and kicking off his shoes, he reached behind me and slid the zipper to my skirt down, letting it drop to the floor. He also one-handedly unhooked my bra and tossed it away after he pulled it off. We laughed when we realized he was still wearing socks and I still had on my thigh-highs and heels. Kneeling down, he pulled one of the thigh-highs down my leg and off my foot along with my shoe. He repeated his actions on the other side.
