We are introduced in the video by the host of the show, who will be asking us questions today. It’s the popular anchor, Mini Mathur. She thanks the sponsoring matrimonial websites, welcomes us to this unique, first of its kind show and introduces the week’s special guest Soha Ali Khan.
I take one look at Soha Ali Khan and I flip. She is so graceful, so slim and so exquisite. Samir’s eyes are sparkling with delight as I have seen them often do when he is reviewing his photo shots. Soha is an embodiment of perfection and elegance he is always seeking in his shots.
Mini Mathur starts the first week’s simple quick fire round of questions to warm up the contestants. She asks us the first question, ‘What was your first impression of your partner?’
Me–‘A smooth flirt.’
Samir–‘A girl wearing happiness and confidence.’
I feel a warm, fuzzy feeling fill my senses at Samir’s response, while Mini raises her eyebrows to give Samir an impressed look.
Mini then asks Soha what was her first impression of Kunal Khemu with whom she had lived prior to getting married. Soha tells us that she and Khemu both felt that they couldn’t even be friends, let alone get into a relationship. She also says that she doesn’t agree with the title of the show ‘Live in Love out’ and asks us what we think about it.
Before I can say anything, Samir compliments Soha, ‘You look like your mom today.’
Soha blushes at the comment and smiles warmly at Samir. Hello, flirting with the guest! What will viewers and judges think?
Ignoring the pinch I give on his back, Samir continues. ‘When you start living together with someone and get to know the real person, it’s possible to fall out of love. But that only implies that you were really in love with the wrong person to begin with. So I think the show should be titled, “Live in, Love the real, False out.”’
Hey, that’s a smart one. I can see that both Mini and Soha like his honest reply. I smile agreeably at Samir.
Mini asks us the next question. ‘What is the one think you really like about your partner?’
Me–‘I like how he is comfortable and happy in his own skin.’
‘I am happier in hers,’ he quips and laughs. ‘Okay, so seriously speaking, I really like her lopsided smile, especially when she is feeling naughty but is trying to be nice. Like she is doing right now,’ he answers.
The camera zooms into my face to catch my smile. I am caught off-guard, lost in deciphering his earlier remark about being happier in my skin. My expression changes to more of an in-the-spot embarrassed smile.
His answers are really outstanding. Viewers will love him, especially the girls. They all do, always.
Mini–‘Okay. Let’s ask you a more intimate question. Does your partner kiss well?’
Me–‘Of course!’
Samir–‘Umm…she needs more practice. But she is a fast learner.’
Mini giggles at this while Soha just smiles gracefully, but I glare at Samir with a what-the-fuck expression. I want to tell him that it’s been more than five years since he last kissed me. I have had more practice since then. He can’t randomly rate me like this without even trying. And I am desperate to try right away and prove him wrong, but I can’t say all this on the live video. We will have to sort it out later in private.
‘When did you realize that your relationship was serious?’
Samir–‘When we were stuck in the middle of a life-threatening Tsunami and I didn’t know if we could make it back alive. Just being with Meha, I felt lighter and happier than I had in years. That’s when I realized that she means the world to me.’
Me–‘I think I always knew. The very first moment I bumped into him, his wild-rose fragrance knocked me out of my senses. I just didn’t want to accept it at the time for fear of heartache. But when we were stuck in the Tsunami and I woke up on the ferry, my head resting in his lap and a little tipsy, I somehow thought we were dead and in heaven. And I was happy being dead if it meant I could be with him.’
It’s Samir’s turn to give me you-nailed-this-one smile.
Mini–‘Do you think this is forever?’
Me–‘Like a FeviKwik bond!’
Him–‘I…er…don’t believe in forever. I prefer to live in the moment.’
I feel a little uncomfortable at his response as it can give the viewers a wrong impression about us. I see Mini give him a disappointed you-lost-some-points-there look. Soha has been mostly silent, reading our unspoken gestures. She gives us an intriguing smile and asks, ‘Why are you living together?’
I am thinking of saying something safe and standard when Samir humorously responds, ‘Jo girlfriend se sachmuch karte pyaar, woh live-in se kaise karen inkaar!’
Both Mini and Soha burst into laughter at this.
Mini concludes the session with a story about our hash tag and the show’s hash tag, and ends our recording.
We get a few off-screen minutes with the two women. Samir immediately asks for Soha’s number. He says a really close friend of ours, who actually got us together, is into fashion and image consulting. And it would be a great honour if Soha can help promote her new venture. Soha willingly shares her mobile number. I am amazed that Samir actually thought about Mansi and her new business.
After we disconnect, I want to ask Samir his views on our Q&A session but he is already engrossed in writing something on his laptop. He really does work hard. Even on Sundays.
If you really ask me, the living together for Samir and me is very much like an arranged marriage—commitment without love. We are both committed to it for six weeks, but we barely know each other. We have shared our bodies with each other—a lifetime ago though— and memorized our favourite foods, colours and movies, but we are only now beginning to discover the real us. It’s like we have only seen the trailer so far. Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost. And in this picture, I will not get sidelined to a supporting cast. I intend to hang on to the lead role. It will be a love story. My love story.
Reality Show: Week 1
It’s 7 a.m. on a Monday morning and I am already at work. Surya makes sure I wake up early.
I count my money as part of my daily regime. Surprisingly, the numbers are in the pink of health today. It’s because I have hidden the one row, with a really large negative number. I feel it sometimes helps to look at just the positives, till you are ready to face the negative. Like today. I don’t mind the negatives as I am feeling quite upbeat.
Today, I am looking forward to our Jab-we-met video going live. The entire world will see Samir and me as a couple who are in love.
I am also curious to see what competition we have. I check the ‘LiveInLoveOut’ page but the videos are not released yet, so I get busy finalizing the details for the upcoming NRI wedding in Jaisalmer next week. I am wondering how to best use the swimming pool in the Jaisalmer fort, when the creative ass comes over and hands me a box of chocolate-flavoured condoms, from his current marketing campaign I guess.
‘You like chocolates, right?’ he chuckles. ‘Will be great if you could share your experience.’ He has a naughty smile.
His hair tied in a low ponytail and his smile dipping into a cute dimple on his left cheek, he looks rather desirable. If only I believed in random one-night-ers, I could have given him both the experience and the feedback right away.
I nod my head vaguely and ask how the ‘Perfect Body’ campaign is doing.
‘Oh, the perfect-body ad turned out to be not so perfect,’ he admits unhappily. ‘We got a lot of criticism on promoting impossibly thin, leggy, and large-busted bodies.’
I refrain from saying I-told-you-so. The least you can do for a cute, sexy colleague is to not rub it in. I tell him I could help him redesign the campaign and we agree to meet later.
I put the box away in my handbag. I guess, I will just pass them onto Mansi or Didi. Back at my laptop, there is a we-miss-you mail from the virtual boyfriend app’s customer support. It says that they have a policy to cancel accounts that are inacti
ve for more than a month. I decide to send a message to Vir. I will need him once Samir is gone.
‘Hi Vir, I really miss talking naughty with you. I got these new soaps in different fragrances. I bet you will enjoy them next time we bathe together. How about we connect day after tomorrow at 8 p.m.? Sexily yours, Me-ha-appy.’
I have just finished typing the message to fix my virtual date, when NetGen and Pyare enter the office hand in hand. Romance is brewing right under my nose and I don’t even know. I knew Pyare always had a thing for her, but I didn’t think he with his old, slow, conservative ways was any match for NetGen’s fast-paced, multi-processing, forward-looking style.
NetGen smiles when she sees the caught-you expression in my eyes. She instinctively leaves Pyare’s hand and he awkwardly heads for the men’s room. I smile and pass her the condom box under the table as she takes her seat next to mine. Her eyes dismiss the romance as no big deal as she hides the pack in her cupboard. Poor Pyare has no idea what has hit him.
I wait for NetGen to finish ordering breakfast from a Gourmet Deli app before we get down to work. The jab-we-met videos of all the contestants are released now and social media is showing a lot of activity. NetGen tells me that the #LiveInLiveOut is trending right on top on twitter in India right now. We check our video. There are only sixty-seven views on it. No comments, likes or shares yet. We send out emails to our friends and business partner mailing groups with the video link. We share it on our Facebook page and promote the post. We watch the other contestants’ videos.
The first couple #AshaAndAshok (A&A) seem to be totally made for each other. They have been living together for almost an year and are getting married after the show. Their regular work-romance will resonate with the small town, middle-class Indian population. And they have five thousand Facebook friends each. They are definitely competition.
The second couple #BagyashriAndBasheer (B&B) is a conservative, Hindu-Muslim couple. They are living in because their families are against the marriage. They want to rally public support, through the show, to get their parents to come around and accept them. They certainly have the sympathy angle going very strongly for them. But religious controversy is a double-edged sword. It can get them attention but it can also split their votes. I wouldn’t worry about them yet.
The third couple #CharuAndChetan (C&C) seem like chalk and cheese. Even in their video, they seem to be fighting and contradicting each other. I will be surprised if they don’t break up before the show is over. NetGen is certain that they have bought their way into the show.
The fourth and final competing couple #DimpyAndDanny (D&D) are clearly daring and different. Their video is almost soft porn and bound to go viral. They certainly look like the type who can use the edible condoms and eat them too. It is clear what got them the entry ticket into the show. They are surely a threat.
NetGen and I discuss the pros and cons of all the couples as we relish the tangy goodness of freshly baked, sundried tomato rolls that just arrived. The As are the only ones that seem likely to get married within three months of the reality show, which will entitle them to a free-paid honeymoon package in Europe, worth five lakh rupees, sponsored by a travel company. All those who break up will receive free matrimonial services by sponsors for a year. The Cs surely seems to be heading that way. We both agree that there is real threat from Ds and As. NetGen doesn’t know that my real reason for doing the show is to win the cash prize because we are in huge debt, but she is excited by the idea of winning a mega-digital event like this. I am glad she hasn’t asked me tough questions like why I didn’t tell her I knew Samir when we discussed KISS earlier or even when we were preparing for Sonia’s proposal. Overall, the whole team is excited about the two NRI weddings we are working on and is looking at the reality show as a good lead generating tool.
I am repeatedly refreshing our reality show video page to check for updates. The views have gone up to two hundred now.
Mom has commented, ‘Meha is finicky when it comes to liking things. But what she likes, she likes forever. Orange lolly is still her favourite ice-cream. Samir and Meha, you two are meant for each other—from mummy and papa.’
That’s sweet of Ma, although I highly doubt if Papa approves of all this drama in public.
Di has written, ‘Samir take my word for it, my little sis is hard to live with. But she is worth all the trouble.’
Mansi’s just shared it on her new business page. A minute later, Neeraj, the CXO, likes the post and comments, ‘Guys, your chemistry is enviable!’
Wow, really? No sex and yet a good chemistry? Perhaps it’s the bottled-up desire that is elevating the chemistry or the soul sharing we are doing.
There are also a few comments like ‘nice couple’, ‘good sense of humour’ and ‘there is no love like first love’ from strangers. The excitement is building up. I really want to know what Samir thinks of other contestants. I message him but he doesn’t reply back. I am so excited, that I even try calling him, but there is no answer.
It’s post-lunch. NetGen and I have been constantly following each count increment. There are comments and likes now from all my friends, my clients and their friends. We have garnered over two thousand views now but we are still lagging behind Ds and As. Even Bs have managed to get about a thousand views. As expected, C’s are floundering with barely a hundred views.
Samir still hasn’t messaged or called me. How can he be so inconsiderate? Even if he doesn’t really love me, he does know this is a big moment. He hasn’t even shared the video on his social media. Not one of his friends has commented. Neither did Radhika nor did Sonia.
NetGen’s high-pitched shriek interrupts my thoughts. Her eyes are glued to the screen with a stupefied look on her face. I quickly move over to her desk and look at her laptop. A video featuring Sonia is playing. Sonia in just a bathing gown that ends about ten inches above her knees. She looks devastated and drunk. Her hair haywire, her lipstick eroded and her eyeliner smudged. She looks like she has been in a fight and has been crying. The camera zooms in for a closer shot. She claims that Samir really loves her and I am just a minor sex-traction he will get over in a few weeks.
‘How can Samir love a fat, un-shapely girl like Meha, when he has dated a model like me? Can you ever go back to an ungainly minivan after you have driven a sleek Mercedes?’ Sonia asks the viewers.
She further apologizes for trying to tie Samir down in a marriage. She says she doesn’t care if he never marries her so long as he loves her. In the end, she is literally pleading with Samir to come back to her. Then, with a salacious pout, she blows him a kiss before the video goes blank.
She has posted the link to her video in a comment on our video’s page. Her video is already showing five thousand views. People are watching it and leaving nasty comments on our page.
I can see a comment from Radhika warning me to not leave Sam this time. Funny that Radhika hasn’t sided with Sonia. In fact, she almost seems to be approving of Samir and me in her own snobbish way.
My ex-boss, Sarika, has also found out about us and added a vile comment, ‘Meha is a thief. She stole Sonia’s project from us and now she has stolen her lover too. She used to work with me earlier and I always knew she was jealous of my success. But I didn’t think she could stoop so low. Imagine your wedding designer having sex with your fiancé! Meha should be disqualified from reality show on moral grounds.’
Fuck Sarika! She has the guts to lecture me on morality.
There is also a comment from Samir’s sister, ‘Sonia and Samir were so much in love. I was really hoping they would get married.’
I don’t believe one bit that Samir really loves Sonia but I am feeling humiliated by this public slandering. Ashamed and shaken, I am unable to look away from the video and face anyone. From the corner of my eye though, I can see that NetGen looks flabbergasted by Sonia’s accusations. She is not personally mortified but she is worried about the implications of the video on our brand.
I try
to call Samir. He still doesn’t take my call. Frustrated, I leave office holding back my tears. I just keep walking, without any idea of where I am going. First Ma calls and then Didi, but I take neither of their calls. What can I tell them? That Sonia is possibly right. That this is all fake. But then why does it hurt so much? I call Mansi but her number is unreachable, so I call Anusha. Thankfully, she answers my call immediately but asks me to hold. I can hear little kids shouting and crying in background. I guess she is with her son in a play area. I hear her asking Varun to keep an eye on her son as she walks away to a quieter spot. I know Varun is trying hard to win over Anusha once again.
‘Why are you crying Meha?’ Anusha asks in a calm, gentle voice, as she comes back on line.
Anusha hasn’t seen Sonia’s video so I fill her with the details in between the sobs.
‘Are you worried that the video will harm your chances of winning the show?’
‘A bit.’
‘You think Samir will leave you and go to her?’
I nod my head and wiping the tears on my sleeve, I say, ‘Maybe.’
‘Silly girl! You are crying because she called you fat,’ Anusha states, being able to peek into my innermost thoughts.
‘Mm-hmm.’
‘Meha, you shouldn’t doubt yourself just because of somebody else’s definition of pretty and perfect. May be Samir prefers an all-weather SUV over a high maintenance car.’
Let's Have Coffee Page 15
