“And, that soliciting that purchases or works hurt to the solicitors, as it seemed to us, ought not any ways to be sought for, for much better is it to stand idle than work harm, although that neither the one nor the other is to be praised. Paris was a solicitor to his own destruction, if he beheld the end of his soliciting. Menelaus was become diligent, not for love but to recover his honour lost, as each discreet person ought to do.
“Neither yet is this love a mean to mitigate anger, but the benignity of mind, the brunt being past that induces it makes it to become nothing and remits the offence against whom it was angry. And yet lovers and discreet persons were wont at the prayers of the person loved, or of some friend, to forgive offences, to shew themselves courteous of that which cost them nothing, and to make the cravers thereof beholden unto them. And in this sort Achilles many times shewed himself to expell from him this congealed anger.
“Likewise it seems that this makes men courageous and worthy, but thereof I can shew you the contrary. Who was a man of greater valour than Hercules? And yet being enamoured he became vile and forgetful of his force, so that he did spin thread with the women of Iole. Assuredly in things wherein occurs no danger a most hardy people are the enamoured, and wherein danger happens they shew themselves in appearance hardy and put themselves forward; neither does love, but little wit, allure them so to do, to the end they may after have glory in the sight of their loves. Although it happens seldom because they doubt so much the losing the person loved that they are rather contented to be held vile and of little courage than to give themselves to peril.
“And yet we doubt not but this love reposed all sweetness in Orpheus’ harp. We agree that it is true that you have shewed, that truly in general love loads the tongues of his subjects with such a sweetness and with so many enticements as they many times would thereby make the stones turn upside down, so that to entice is not only the property of wavering and inconstant men but of vile men. How shall we say, that such a lord ought to be followed, through the good property of the follower? Assuredly he (in whom he abides) makes wise and profitable counsels to be despised. For it was evil with the Trojans that those of Cassandra were not heard of Paris. He makes likewise his subjects to forget and despise their good fame, the which ought to remain to us all on earth as an eternal heir of our memory. And how much these aforesaid did condemn the same Aegisthus may serve for an example, although Scylla wrought no less hurt than Pasiphae.
“Is not he the occasion that does break the sacred bonds of the promised pure faith? Yea truly, what had Ariadne done to Duke Theseus whereby contaminating the matrimonial bands and giving himself and his promised faith to the winds, he should abandon his poor one among the desert rocks? A little pleasure in gazing in the eyes of Phaedra was occasion to bring about so much evil and such requittall for the received honour. In him also is found no law, and that it is true may be seen by the doings of Tereus, who having received Philomena from her pitiful father and carnally known her, made no stay to contaminate the most holy laws matrimonially contracted between him and Procne the sister of Philomena. This also calling and causing himself to be called a god, occupys the reasons of the gods. Who could ever fully with words shew the iniquity of him?
“He (to speak briefly) leads them that follow him to all evils; and if by chance his followers do any virtuous act (which happens very seldom) with a vicious beginning they begin it, desiring thereby to come very quickly into the desired end of their loathesome wills. The which may be rather said vices, than virtues, forsomuch as that is not to be heeded only which man does but with what mind it is done, and so according to the will of the worker to repute the same vicious or virtuous, because that never of an evil root sprang a good tree nor from an evil tree good fruit.
“This love then is lewd and naught, and if he be naught he is to be fled. And who that flees things evil of consequence follows the good, and so is both good and virtuous. The beginning of this love is none other thing than fear, the sequel is sin and the end is grief and misery. It ought then to be fled and to be reproved and to fear to have him in you because he is violent, neither knows he is any of his doings to keep measure and is altogether devoid of reason. He is without all doubt the destroyer of the mind; the shame, anguish, passion, grief and plaint of the same; never contents that the heart of whom that lodges him without bitterness. Who will then pray that he is to be followed, but fools?
“Truly if it were lawful we would willingly live without him. But of such a harm we are too late awares, and therefor it is convenient for us, since we are caught in his nets, to follow his life until what time as that light which guided Aeneas out of the dark ways, fleeing the perilous fires may appear to us and guide us to his pleasures.”
CHAPTER 9. THE EIGHTH QUESTION, PROPOSED BY A YOUNG GENTLEWOMAN NAMED PAOLA
ON THE RIGHT hand of Galeon sat a fair gentlewoman named Paola, pleasant and yet under an honest coverture, who after the queen had done thus began to say:
“O noble queen, you have decreed at this present that no person ought to follow this our lord love, and I for my part consent thereunto. But yet it seems to me impossible that the youthful race both of men and women should be run over without this benign love. I gather at this present, setting apart (by your leave) your sentence that to be enamoured is lawful, taking the evil doing for good working. And in following the same, I desire to know of you which of these two women ought rather to be loved of a young man, both two pleasing him alike, either she that is of noble blood and of able kinsfolk and copious of having much more than the young man, or the other, that is neither noble nor rich nor of kinsfolk so abounding as is the young man?”
To whom the queen thus made answer: “Fair gentlewoman, admitting the case that both man and woman ought to follow love as we have before affirmed, we give judgment: that in how much the woman is richer, greater and more noble than the young man, of whatsoever degree or dignity he be, even so she ought to be rather preferred to the love of a young man than ought she that has anything less than he, because man’s mind was created to follow high things. And therefor he must seek rather to advance than anyways to debase himself. Further, there is a common proverb which says:
The good to covet better ’tis,
Than to possess that which bad is.
“Wherefor in our judgment you are better to love the most noble and with good reason to refuse the less noble.”
Then said pleasant Paola: “Noble queen, I would have given another judgment (if it had been to me) of this question, as you shall hear. We all naturally do rather desire short and brief than long and tedious troubles, and that it is a less and more brief trouble to get the love of the less noble than of the more noble is manifest. Then the less ought to be followed, for as much as the love of the less may be said to be already won, the which of the more is yet to get. Further, many perils may follow to a man loving a woman of a greater condition than himself is of, neither has he lastly thereby any greater delight than of the lesser.
“For we see a great woman to have many kinsfolks and a great family, and them all as diligent heeders of her honour to have an eye unto her, so that if any one of them happen to espy this love, thereof may follow (as we have already said) great peril to the lover, the which of the less noble can not so lightly come to pass. And these perils each one (as he is able) ought to flee, for as much as who that receives harm is sure thereof and who that has done it laughs him after to scorn, saying he speeds well, where he likes there let him love; yet dies he more than once? But how that once happens, where, and for what occasion besides, each one ought to take good heed. It is very credible that a gentlewoman will lightly esteem of him, for that she will desire to love one more noble or greater than herself and not one inferior to herself; whereby seldom or never he shall attain his desire. But of the lesser shall happen the contrary, because that she will glory to be loved of such a lover, and will endeavour herself to please him, to the end to nourish love. And yet if this were not the powe
r of the lover only might be able without fear to bring to pass to fulfill his desire. Wherefor I gather that the less noble ought to be preferred in love before the more noble.”
“Your judgment deceives you,” said the queen to the fair gentlewoman, “because love is of this nature, that how much the more one loves so much the more he desires to love. And this may be seen by them that through love feel the greater grief, the which although it troubles them not a little yet love they continually the more. Neither does anyone from his heart, although he make great appearance in words, desire thereof a speedy end. Then as small troubles are sought for of the slothful, and the wise, things that are attained with most trouble are held most dear and delightful. And therefor in loving the less woman, to get her should be (as you say) little trouble, and the love both little and short, and should be followed as though one in loving would desire to love less and less. Which is contrary to the nature of love as we have said. But in loving the greater, that is gotten with trouble, happens the contrary; because that as a thing dearly gotten with travail is reposed all diligence to the well heeding of the gained love, even so is she every hour the more loved and the longer does continue the delight and pleasure thereof.
“And yet if you will say that all the doubt is of their kinsmen we will not deny it, for this is one of the occasions. Wherefor it is a trouble to have the love of one of these great women. But notwithstanding the desert in such cases proceed by a secret way. And we doubt not but that the honour both of the greatest and meanest women is by some of their kinsfolks according to their power looked to, in such sort as a fool may come to an evil adventure, loving as well in a base as in a noble stock.
“But what shall he be that will pass Pesistrato in cruelty, having offended them which loved him without forethinking that which he should afterwards have done to those that had had the same in heart? In saying also that loving a greater woman than himself he shall never be able to come to the end of his desire, because the woman covets to love one greater than herself and therefor will make of him no estimation at all. You show yourself to be ignorant that the meanest man (in what belongs to natural virtues) is of greater and better condition than the noblest woman of the world. Whatsoever man she then desires she desires him that is of greater and better condition than herself, because the virtuous or vicious life makes many times the mean great, and the great mean. Inasmuch therefor as any woman shall be solicited by any man in due sort, even so without doubt she shall yield to his desire, though the great with more trouble than the mean.
“For we see the soft water with a continual fall to break and pierce the hard stone. And therefor let none despair to love. For so much goodness shall follow him that loves a greater woman than himself as he shall endeavour himself to please her, to have decent qualities, the company of noble personages, to be ornate of sweet talk, bold in enterprises and splendid in apparel; and if she attain to greater glory the greater delight shall he have of mind, likewise he shall be exalted with the good report of the people and reputed of a noble mind. Let him therefor follow the most noble, as we have already said.”
CHAPTER 10. THE NINTH QUESTION, PROPOSED BY FERAMONT DUKE OF MONTORIO
NEXT UNTO PAOLA sat Feramont, Duke of Montorio, who after the queen had said, thus began:
“I consent that if it be convenient to love that you have already fully answered this gentlewoman to her question. And that a man also love rather a more noble woman than a less noble than himself, may very well be yielded to, through the sundry reasons by you shewed touching the same. But forasmuch as there are sundry gentlewomen of sundry sorts attired with diversities of habits (as it is thought) do diversely love, some more, some less; some more hotly and some others more lukewarm. I desire to understand of you which of these three a young man should bring his desire to a most happy end, ought soonest to be enamoured of either of her that is married, or of the maid or of the widow?”
To whom the queen made this answer: “Of the three the one, that is, the married woman, ought in no wise to be desired, because she is not her own, neither has liberty to give herself to any. And therefor either to desire or to take her is both to commit an offence against the divine laws as also against the laws natural and positive, the offending whereof is to heap upon ourselves the divine anger, and by consequence heavy judgement. Howbeit who that gropes not his conscience so far inwardly, does oftentimes speed better in loving her than of any other of the two, either maid or widow, inasmuch as he (although such love be with great peril) is to have the effect of his desire. And why this love may divers times bring the lover to his desire sooner than the love of the others, this is the reason. It is manifest that in how much more the fire is blown so much the more it flames, and without blowing it becomes dead. And as all other things through much use do decay, so contrarywise lust the more it is used the more it increases.
“The widow in that she has been a long time without the like effect, does feel the same almost as though it had never been and so is rather kindled with the memory thereof than with any concupiscence at all.
“The maid, that has yet no skill thereof, neither knows the same but by imagination, desires as it were one lukewarm. And therefore the married woman kindled in such passions does more than any of the others desire such effects. What time the married are wont to receive from their husbands outrageous words or deeds, whereof willingly they would take revenge if they might, there is no way left more readier unto them than in despite of their husbands to give their love to him by whom they are allured to receive the like. And although it be expedient that such manner of revenge be very secret, that no shame grow thereby, nevertheless are they yet content in their minds. Further the always using of one kind of meat is tedious. And we have oftentimes the delicate meats left for the gross, turning afterwards unto the same again, what time the appetite has been satisfied of the others.
“But because (as we have said) it is not lawful through any unjust occasion to desire that which is another man’s, we will leave the married to their husbands and take the others, whereof a copious number our city does set before our eyes. And we would in bestowing our love rather seek the widows than the rude maids unlearned for such a mystery and that are not without great trouble (the which is widows needs not) made able to a man’s desire. Further, if maids love, they know not what they desire, and therefor they do not follow with an intentive mind the steps of the lover as do the widows, in whom now the antique fire takes force and makes them to desire that which through long depriving they had forgotten. So that to come to such effect they (too late) beweep the lost times and the solitary long nights the which they have passed in their widows’ beds. These are therefor (as it seems unto us) rather to be loved of them in whom is the liberty to submit themselves unto others than any of the rest.”
Then answered Feramont: “Most excellent queen, what you have said of the married I had determined in my mind that so it ought to be; and now hearing the same from you I am the rather assured thereof. But touching the maids and widows I am of the contrary opinion because (setting the married apart for the reasons by you alleged) it seems unto me very good that the maid rather than the widow ought to be desired. Forasmuch as the love of the maid seems more firm and assured than that of the widow. For the widow without doubt has already loved one other time before and has seen and felt many things of love, and knows what shame may follow thereof. And therefor knowing these things better than the maid, loves fair and softly; and doubting and not loving firmly desires now this and now that, and knows not to whether (for her most delight and greatest honour) to link herself, for sometimes she will neither the one nor the other. So that deliberation does waver in her mind, neither is the amorous passion able to take there stability.
“But to the maid these things are altogether unknown. And therefor as she persuades herself with good advisement, that of many young men she greatly pleases one, so without further examination she makes choice of him as her lover and to him only disposes her
love, not knowing how for her pleasure to show any contrary act. Neither is there for the more sure tying of the lover any new deliberation by her sought forth touching her love, so that she is then pure at the will and pleasure of him that simply pleases her and quickly disposes her wounded heart, him only to serve as lord. The which thing (as I have already said) happens not oft with widow and therefor is the other the rather to be followed.
“Further, with more efficacy the maid tarries those things that never anyone of her sort has seen, heard or proved. And yet she desires more to see, hear and prove them than who that has many times both seen, heard and proved them, and this is manifest. Among the other occasions for the which our life does greatly delight us and is desired to be long, is for to see new things such as we have never yet seen before. And also for to see things most new we have a great delight to run with a diligent pace to that which we above all other things do endeavour ourselves to flee, that is, death, the last end of our bodies. “The maid knows not that delightful conjunction through the which we come into the world, and yet it is natural to every creature through a desire to be drawn thereunto. Further, she many times has heard from them that know what manner of thing it is, how much sweetness does consist therein, the which words have given fire to the desire and therefor, drawn of nature and of a desire to prove the thing of her not as yet proved, does through the words which she has heard desire boldly with a kindled heart this concourse. And with whom is it presumed to be had but only with him whom she has already made lord of her mind? This heat shall not be in the widow because having once proved and felt what manner of thing it was she is thereby provoked thereunto. So that the maid shall then love more and be more diligent (through the reasons aforesaid) to the pleasure of her lover than the widow. To what end shall we then wade any further in seeking that the maid ought not rather to be loved than the widow?”
Collected Works of Giovanni Boccaccio Page 355
