“Good. We’re trying to not only educate the public about the vaccine but to also raise awareness.”
“Well, I can confidently say I think you’re accomplishing both.”
His words were exactly what I needed to hear. I had no idea if he said them out of kindness or truth. Regardless, it was nice to know that maybe, just maybe, we’d made a difference. Even if it was a small one.
Carol greeted me when I strode across the lobby. The guards at all of the access doors on my way to the Sanctum did the same. I knew Sara would be waiting for me when I stepped into the Sanctum. I’d told her during my flight back that I’d return to the Compound if I had time.
Instead of trying to speak to me telepathically, she waited in Garrett’s cell. The large-eyed Kazzie, along with Sophie, Dorothy, Sage, and Victor were there. Everyone waited for me.
Everyone except Davin.
“Where is he?” I asked when I stepped into the watch room.
Sara approached the glass. “He’s coming. Don’t worry.”
The guard pressed a button, and the back panel door slid open. A second later, Davin strode in.
When he stepped into the cell, he stopped. His eyes glued to mine.
Despite talking to one another in brief, awkward conversations during my time away, it hadn’t been the same as seeing him in person. I’d missed his intense eyes, dark hair, broad shoulders, and steely chest that made me want to melt right into him.
I had no idea how long we stared at each other. It was only when the guard cleared his throat and Sophie giggled that I snapped out of my trance.
I took a deep breath. “I’m going in.” I walked to the containment door. “No need to help me suit up, as I’m sure you know.”
The guard opened the containment room door, and I stepped inside. I waited for the door to hiss closed behind me, seal, and the room to depressurize to match the pressures within the cells. When the dials completed their never-ending turns, the door hissed open.
All seven of my friends waited.
“Meghan!” Sara rushed forward and threw her arms around me.
The rest crowded around. Several patted me on the back. Sage ruffled the top of my head. Only Davin hung back, his hands stuffed in his jean pockets. His dark hair stood out on all ends, as if he’d been running his hands through it all afternoon. He kept his gaze averted.
Tears clouded my eyes as I regarded all of my friends. “I’m sorry that you have to move to the reservation.”
Victor shook his head, his large red face as blazing as the setting sun. “We know you and your friends tried, Meg. You can’t win ‘em all.”
Garrett nodded. His large, egg-like eyes blinked slowly. “We’ll be okay. At least we’ll get out of here.”
Sophie tensed at Sara’s side at the mention of the reservation.
I stepped back to get a better look at Sophie as Sara’s gaze fell to assess me. “You look exhausted!” she said hotly.
I ducked my head and tried to see myself the way they were. I hadn’t look in a mirror… well… at all today.
“And skinny.” Sage’s eyes appraised me disapprovingly. “Didn’t they feed you when you were touring the country?”
Dorothy shook her head with an envious smile. “Wish I could lose weight like that.” She appeared as plump as ever.
I shuffled my feet against the concrete floor. I’d had breakfast, but I’d been too nervous to eat lunch. It was the thought of seeing all of them again and having to explain that our attempts had been futile that had caused a pit in my stomach. A pit that wouldn’t let me eat.
My gaze sought Davin’s.
A heavy frown marred his features. His sapphire eyes were as bright as ever. He put his hands on his hips. “When did you last eat?”
His deep words rolled over me. It took a second before my head was clear enough to reply. “This morning.”
He stepped forward and took my hand. The feel of his calloused, thick fingers closing around my palm made my head spin.
“Come on. We’re getting you dinner.” He tugged me away and called to Garrett’s guard, “Can you order large meals for both of us and have them sent to my cell?”
“Sure,” the guard replied. “I’ll do it now.”
I expected everyone else to follow us. Their energy strummed nervously through the room, but they all hung back. I wasn’t sure if it was Davin’s stony expression or the way he stiffly walked past all of them. Whatever the case, none of them followed us out of the back door panel.
When it was just the two of us in the back hallway, all of my attention zeroed in on Davin’s hand around mine. He still hadn’t removed it.
He was warm. His palm was dry yet smooth. Only the calloused pads were rough. I felt his strength in his firm grip. A shiver ran through me at the power he could evoke.
Yet as frightening as that power was, I only felt safe with him. I knew he’d never hurt me. I knew he’d give his life to protect me, just as I’d give my life to protect him.
But then his words came back to haunt me. It can never be.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“I’m sure you can guess.” He pulled me into the elevator and hit the top button. “A quick stop before we get you food.” We glided up to the fourth floor and stepped out into the forgotten corridor
With every step he took, his arm brushed mine. Strong muscles in his forearms flexed when he tightened his hand on my palm. His heat seared my skin in the most delicious way.
“Do you want to sit down?” he asked when we reached the end of the hall. “There’s something we need to talk about.”
Oh oh. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear whatever he had to say. During our short conversations over the past six weeks, Davin had tried again and again to stop me from what I was doing. But those conversations had been brief. We’d both known that I wasn’t letting go. We’d both known that I was ignoring his request to carry on with my life. Yet he still didn’t know about Mitch.
He still didn’t know that nothing had ever happened between me and my co-worker, and now that so much time had passed – I didn’t know how to bring it up.
I pulled my hand away and crossed my arms just as Davin lowered himself to the floor. “I know what you’re going to say.”
“You do?”
I stepped back and took a deep breath. “And don’t even bother. You’re wasting your breath. I understand that you want me to move on with my life, forget all of you, let you face your uncertain future on your own, but I can’t do that and I won’t do that. So stop asking me to go away. I’m not going to.”
A sad smile covered his face. “I know. I see that now, and I realize that I’m wasting my breath, so I won’t ask again.”
“You won’t?”
He shook his head. “Will you please sit now?”
With stiff movements, I lowered onto my knees. His expression turned grim again.
“You’ve lost at least fifteen pounds.” Pain crossed his features as a flash of some other emotion I couldn’t identify flickered in his gaze. “This is why I wanted to speak with you. Meghan, if you’re going to spend all of your time fighting for us, you at least have to eat. You need to take better care of yourself.”
I sighed. “I know. It’s just… out there…” How do I explain how hectic it was? How so many people were around me all day every day? How at times, it felt like I was underwater, unable to breathe while the weight of the ocean pressed down on me?
His expression softened. “Let me guess. It was too much? All of the people? The demands?”
“Yeah,” I breathed.
“And that’s why I don’t want you doing it,” he grumbled.
He pulled his knees up and clasped his arms around them. Thick veins wound up his forearms, while his rounded shoulders bulged. More than anything I wanted to feel those arms around me. To hold me. Comfort me. Tell me that everything would be okay.
But he couldn’t do that. We didn’t know if everything would be okay. In
two days, he and every other Kazzie in the country would be arriving at the reservation. None of us knew what would happen from there.
“How much have you been sleeping?” I felt his gaze on the dark circles under my eyes. Even though I hadn’t looked in a mirror today, I knew they were as dark as ever.
“About four hours a night.”
“Four hours?” He jumped to standing and paced the width of the hall. “Meghan, that’s crazy! You’re going to kill yourself with that kind of schedule!”
His shouts only pressed down on me further. Tears filled my eyes. I looked down so he wouldn’t see them. I didn’t have the energy to say anything to his anger. He was right. I was running myself ragged, but I’d rather do that and die early than do nothing and live to a ripe old age.
He paced a few more times. His movements grew faster and faster until the last few became a blur.
Throughout it all, I sat quietly. I didn’t have the energy to fight him. Not today. Not when it was one of my last chances to see him, really see him, before he disappeared to the reservation.
It was only when a tear slipped out, against my will that Davin’s hurried movements stopped. One second, he was a blur in front of me, the next he stood ramrod straight, his magnificent figure towering above.
“Jesus, Meg. I’m sorry.” He fell to the ground and pulled me into his arms.
I sobbed against his chest. The last six weeks of fighting, trying, and rallying poured out of me. I’d tried so damned hard, and it hadn’t done anything positive that I could see. Not yet anyway. And deep down, I feared it never would. If we were never able to sway the public, if we were never able to get the majority of representatives on our sides, then Davin would be forever locked away.
And that was a thought I couldn’t bear.
The tears slid down my cheeks in messy rivers. I burrowed into his chest as he rocked me on the ground, crooning nonsensical things in my ear. His soap and aftershave scent was everywhere. I wanted to sink into him, become one with him in the way only a man and woman could.
But he’d never allow that.
It can never be.
I had no idea how long he held me like that. It wasn’t until my tears ran dry and I hiccuped a few times that he loosened his grip. “Come on,” he said gently. He lifted me and carried me down the hall as if I weighed nothing at all.
From there, we descended back to the main floor. Sergeant Rose let us into Davin’s cell. The guard’s eyes widened when he saw me in Davin’s arms.
“Is she okay?”
“No, she’s barely eaten or slept in six weeks. Is the food here?”
“Yes. It should be in your tray system.” Sergeant Rose clicked the panel open.
Davin set me on his bed and watched me with eyes so bright they seemed to see right into my soul. “I’m going to make sure you eat a proper meal tonight and then I want you to go home, take a shower, and go to bed. And tomorrow, you’re to stay home, sleep, and eat more. That’s it. That’s all you’re to do tomorrow.”
I pushed up straighter. “But tomorrow is the last day you’re in the Compound–”
He put a finger to my lips. “Meghan, I’m not budging on this one. Since you refuse to take care of yourself, I’m going to tell you exactly how you spend the next twenty-four hours, and if you don’t…”
His threat fell flat. We both knew he would never actually threaten me. In fact, we both knew his demands could easily be ignored on my part, but the devastated look on his face and the way his eyes pleaded with me to do as he asked – I couldn’t say no.
“Okay, fine. I’ll stay home tomorrow and sleep and eat.”
“And that’s all you do?”
I sighed. “Yes.”
20 – SECRET TUNNEL
I thought it would be hard to stay away. I thought for sure as soon as morning came I’d be bounding out of bed, more nervous energy kicking in as the Kazzies last full day at the Compound was finally here.
Only, that didn’t happen at all.
Davin was right. I was exhausted.
Completely exhausted.
After a huge dinner with him at the Compound the night before, I’d stopped at the lab to say a quick hello to my co-workers before driving home. Mitch had tried to corner me, but I managed to hightail it out of there before that conversation. And true to my word, I’d showered, pulled on my pajamas, and climbed into bed.
The feel of my own bed, the softness of the sheets, and the way the moon shined through my window made the world disappear. I fell into a deep sleep that I didn’t emerge from until late morning the next day. I couldn’t believe that I’d slept so long.
As I groggily woke, my thoughts slowly sped up. I pictured Davin last night as he sat across from me while we ate dinner. His unique blue eyes. The curl of his hair. His large hands, broad shoulders, and steely demeanor.
His image appeared so readily thanks to my eidetic memory.
More than anything, I wanted to return to the Compound and be at his side. I knew the Kazzies would be packing the few items they had. The van was due to arrive tomorrow morning to transport them to the reservation. I’d be riding with them. As the only researcher in Compound 26 who’d been exposed to the virus, I was the only one who could travel with them into the rez.
Because of everything that was happening, I thought it would be hard to spend the day at home. Instead, it went surprisingly fast. I made a quick trip to the South Dakota Food Distribution Center. More than a few people stopped and stared when they saw me. I liked to think that was because they recognized me from the news, not because I looked like a train wreck. I still had circles under my eyes, and Davin was right, I’d lost at least fifteen pounds.
It quickly became apparent, however, that it was from people recognizing me, not from my poor personal care. One woman actually stopped and thanked me for what I was doing. Her kind words and warm touch made my throat tighten. It was so different from the angry mobs, hateful jeers, and homemade food bombs that we’d encountered in random cities throughout the country.
“Thank you,” I said to her before she turned. “I needed to hear that.”
It was strange, to connect with a complete stranger and feel a bond that I rarely felt with those I knew. Perhaps exhaustion had also hindered my usual anxiety-provoked response. Regardless, when I returned home I felt a bit more energetic, but I still kept my promise.
I didn’t go to the Compound.
I made simple food, so I couldn’t burn it or render it inedible. One of my neighbors, Ameena, stopped by to say hello and told me she admired what I was doing. Amy also stopped by in the evening.
When her knock sounded on my door, I opened it to her barreling inside.
“It’s so good to have you back!” She kicked her shoes off and hung her purse on a kitchen chair.
Since my apartment was so small, the front entryway practically opened up to the kitchen.
“Charlie and Mitch have been driving me crazy. It’ll be good to have you back at my side in the lab.”
I smiled genuinely. “I’ve missed you guys too.”
Amy pulled out a kitchen chair. “So? How has the last month been? I’ve seen the crazy protests that have followed you and your group around the country, but it hasn’t seemed all bad. There seems to be just as many people supporting the Kazzies. So that’s good news right? A decent majority want them freed.”
I nodded. “That’s what we’re hoping, and with time, we’re hoping to grow that group of supporters. There’s so much fear out there. People are convinced that they’ll still die from Makanza, even though they’ve been vaccinated.”
Amy snorted. “You can thank the MRI for that. We’ve done such a great job at keeping the public in the dark about the virus. I’m not surprised they’re afraid. They don’t know any better.”
I sighed. “I know.”
“So how are you feeling? You look like crap by the way.” Amy winked.
I smiled at her crass comment. I knew she didn’t m
ean any ill will by it, and she was right. I looked terrible. “I slept thirteen hours last night, and I’ve eaten enough today to blow through half of my food allowance for the week.”
“Good. You need to sleep and eat more. Ever since I’ve met you, you haven’t had enough of either.”
I pushed to standing from my chair and moved to the stove to boil the tea kettle. The simple task brought back memories of Sharon, Davin’s mother. Every time I visited her in South Dakota, she always headed straight for the stove before pulling out her china tea set. It had become such a routine that I no longer waited for her to ask if I wanted tea. She knew I would.
“Tea?” I asked Amy.
She shrugged. “Sure.”
A few minutes later, I settled again in the chair across from her. Tea steamed from our mugs. Even though it was still warm outside, there was something comforting about a hot cup of tea in the evening. During my weeks on the road, I didn’t think I’d enjoyed that once.
I took a sip and set my cup down. “How did preparations go today?”
Amy ran a hand through her red curls. “Okay. There’s not much to pack, so they’re all ready to go. We spent most of our time reviewing the rules on the reservation.”
My hand stilled. I set my teacup back down. “Rules?”
“Apparently, the director of the reservation has strict rules he’s enforcing.”
“Do you know much about him?”
She shook her head. “Nope, other than he’s a former CDC big wig and was in the military at one point.”
Tea sloshed over the sides of my cup when I picked it up. “I don’t understand why they need rules on the reservation. Aren’t the Kazzies supposed to live there the way we all live normally?”
“Yes and no from what I’ve heard.” Amy finished her drink and leaned back. “They announced this morning that they’ll have strict rules about keeping a certain distance from the perimeter, and visitors are allowed only under certain conditions. And as you know, anybody who does visit has to go through the three week quarantine process afterward, unless they have the money to spend on the blood test to confirm Makanza is no longer active inside them.”
Reservation 1: Book #2 in The Makanza Series Page 21
