by Jenny Frame
Quade nodded in understanding. “Epilepsy can be almost as frightening for your loved ones—I know.”
Penny looked up from the phone quickly. “It didn’t seem to frighten you, when you were helping me.”
“My aunt had it. My uncle taught me how to take care of her when it struck,” Quade said.
It couldn’t be. Quade understood her condition as well? Could she be any more perfect? Penny was beginning to think the universe was playing one big cosmic trick on her, dangling the perfect partner in front of her, knowing she couldn’t take her.
“I see. Well, I’ve just spent six months at home being babied, and I need to be myself again,” Penny said while still installing the apps.
“I suppose it was hard growing up as a Huntingdon-Stewart. A lot of expectations?” Quade asked.
“You could say that. Not from my parents, but everyone in my family is so accomplished. My brother is the youngest ever professor of mathematics at Cambridge, my sister is Under-Secretary-General for Humanitarian Affairs at the UN, and you know who my mother and father are. Really difficult for a young girl with epilepsy and dyslexia.”
“Dyslexia?” Quade said. “That must have made school really difficult.”
“It did. I was terrible at school. I became so frustrated that I gave up trying. It was only when I got older that I worked through it and found ways to help myself.”
There was a silence, and then Penny put Quade’s phone down on the table. “I’ve never told anyone that before.”
Quade smiled at her. “I’m glad you trusted me, and I’m really proud of you for overcoming all those obstacles and becoming a successful businesswoman.”
Penny sighed. “Not all the obstacles. I can’t do live TV. I was always frightened my epilepsy would strike while I was under pressure. I suppose you know what happened to me six months ago?”
Quade shook her head. “Not really. Harry mentioned something but not the full story.”
Penny couldn’t believe there was anyone in the country who didn’t know and hadn’t laughed at the viral video.
“Don’t you ever go on the internet? I was all over it,” Penny asked.
“No, I only ever go online to order farm supplies, and my computer went completely kaput last week. I’ve had it about ten years.”
“Good God, well, my business partner, Olivia, convinced me to break my rule about live TV. If I could do it, then there might have been an offer from the production company for my own series, so against my better judgement, I did it, and I paid for it.”
“You had a fit?” Quade took her hand and squeezed it in support.
“Yes. It was one of the most terrifying experiences I’ve ever had. I woke up in terror, with strangers around me, and a studio audience watching as I was given first aid. The fit was much worse than the one I just had. It lasted too long. I couldn’t even begin to move or talk. Everything was a blur, like I was out of time with everyone else. I lost consciousness again, then woke up in hospital. Only to find the video of it had gone viral, was being watched all over the world. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.”
Quade looked angry. “Don’t ever say that. The people that shared that video are sick.”
Penny felt tears come to her eyes and fought hard to keep them back. “I shouldn’t be telling you this. I never talk like this.”
“Maybe you need to. You can trust me.” Quade squeezed her hand tightly.
Penny started to panic. She was exposing too much of herself. She had to get away. She slid Quade’s phone across the kitchen table and stood up abruptly.
“Can you take me home now?” Penny said.
Quade appeared confused. “What? Why? What’s wrong?”
“Just take me home now, please, or I’ll walk. Princess? Come now.”
Once she got hold of Princess, she marched out of the farmhouse and waited by the Land Rover.
Quade came out, followed by Dougal and clutching the basket of vegetables they had picked for Penny. “What have I done wrong, Penny?”
“Nothing, just take me home. I need to be home.” Penny’s whole mind and body were in panic. It was too easy to talk to Quade, too easy to touch her, and she was going to expose herself too much. Quade scared her.
Quade sighed and got in. The drive back to Northwood Cottage was excruciatingly tense. Penny’s mind just kept telling her, You need to be alone. You need to be alone.
When they arrived, she thanked Quade and ran into the house. She slammed the door shut and burst into tears.
“Why can’t I be normal?”
Chapter Eleven
A few days later, Harry was in her study, reviewing some edits for her new book on the Roman occupation of Britain, when she heard children screaming and shouting, running down the hall. There was a time when that would have sent her into a rage, but not now. Now that she had Annie and Riley, it made her smile and gave her a warm glow.
Riley had her best friend over after school. The alpacas were being delivered today, and it had caused great excitement. It was wonderful to be able to give Riley wonderful new experiences, and a much better childhood than she ever had.
Apart from when Bridge came to stay during the school holidays, Harry had always been alone. Since she didn’t go to the local school, the other children were distant, and her father’s reputation hadn’t helped. Axedale was a huge estate and house for a child to be alone in. At least Riley had a good friend. She remembered what Annie had said the other day, about Axedale being a big house for Riley to take care of on her own.
There was something they could do to give Riley support. A sibling. Harry couldn’t quite believe she was thinking about this, but the more she did, the more she liked the idea.
Her grandfather had once told her that houses like these were meant to be filled up with children. Maybe he was right. Her heart melted at the thought of seeing Annie pregnant and looking after her, but would Annie want another child?
She’d had Riley a long time ago and had never mentioned wanting more children to her. Maybe she thought one was enough. Harry looked up at the portrait of her favourite ancestors, Lady Hildegard and Lady Katherine, that hung above her fireplace.
“I bet you would have loved to have a baby with Katherine, Hildegard, if you’d had the technology.”
Her mind was made up. Harry would talk to Annie about having another baby, but she just had to find the right time to bring it up.
* * *
Annie had invited Penny for a cup of tea, and to make firm plans for filming in the Axedale kitchen. Penny was taking notes on her iPad, and Princess was ingratiating herself with Annie by sitting on her knee and getting lots of strokes.
“I know things are going to be busy leading up to Bridge’s wedding,” Penny said. “Why don’t we make it the next week?”
Annie looked at her own calendar, where she kept all the Axedale bookings, and said, “Any day but Friday of that week. We have an anniversary party in the east wing then.”
Penny was impressed by how good Axedale looked, and by the improvements the couple had made. She had heard it was in a state of disrepair a few years ago.
“Do you enjoy that side of things? The hospitality business part?”
Annie took a sip of tea. “Yes, I do. It’s not as if we have to do it for the money, but everything we do with the house—weddings, parties, business conferences—all bring money into the village. More people to buy things in the shops, and more jobs here on the estate, while the visitors keep coming. It’s too big a house not to do something constructive with it, I think.”
“What does Harry think?” Penny asked.
Annie chuckled. “Oh, she just lets me get on with it, really. As long as they don’t get in her way, she doesn’t mind. When we refurbished the public end of the house, I had a professional kitchen added, so we can keep our own kitchen to ourselves. And anyway, I’ve worked all my life. I can’t just look after Harry all day, although she does take some looking after.”
“Don’t worry. I know what she was like, but she had some issues to overcome and needed the right woman to help her.”
Annie’s description reminded her of her own fears, the intimacy issues that had held her personal life back all these years.
Penny stared down at the table and made imaginary circles with her fingertip. “Do you think there’s someone for everyone like that?”
“To help them understand love?” Annie asked.
Penny cleared her throat, feeling a little uncomfortable. “Yes.”
“Of course, but then I’m a romantic. Before I met Harry, I vowed to hold out for my one true love. The one my heart yearned for. Then I met the womanizing Harry Knight, who didn’t believe in love.”
“And what happened when you met?” Penny asked.
Annie had the biggest smile and she whispered, “I made her believe.”
Could Quade be the one to make her believe she was capable of a relationship?
After a silence, Annie said, “To change the subject completely, how are you getting on with Quade? I understand she was showing you around.”
It had been three days since she had seen Quade, and they’d felt like the loneliest days. She hadn’t come to take Princess out for her evening walk, and Penny couldn’t blame her. Penny had panicked. She’d told Quade things she had never told anyone, and she just wasn’t used to it.
The feeling of missing someone was also new. Everything seemed to remind her of Quade. The fresh vegetables in the kitchen, her book at bedtime, Lady Chatterley’s Lover, which gave her some hot thoughts about Quade, and then there was Princess who was pining for her.
“Yes, I had a lovely day with her at her farm, and then I—Well, I left on bad terms.”
Annie lifted both their teacups and took them to the sink. “Oh, don’t worry about that. Quade’s not the type to hold a grudge. Just talk to her. She’s one of the nicest people you could meet.”
No. She just couldn’t find one flaw in her character, that was why she was so frightening.
They heard children’s footsteps running down the stairs. Riley stopped halfway down with her friend and leaned over the banister. “They’re here, Mum. The alpacas!” And then they ran away again.
“Can you tell she’s excited?” Annie joked. “Would you like to come up and see our new friends? It would make a good video clip for you.”
Penny’s mind lit up with the prospect. Alpacas were hilarious and cute in any video, but when added to her country experience, could be fantastic for internet hits.
“Thanks. Come on, Princess.”
As they walked out of the large Axedale entrance hall, Annie asked, “Are you sure you’re feeling better now?”
“Much better, and thank you for the meals you made. They were perfect,” Penny said.
She saw Annie’s eyes were drawn to Harry, who was well ahead of them, holding Riley’s and her friend Sophie’s hands, the large Great Dane walking by their side. She sighed in contentment.
It must have been wonderful to look and feel that way about someone. Harry was gorgeous, in a different way from Quade. Harry was polished and oozed sex appeal, while Quade was ruggedly sexy and didn’t know how attractive she was. Going by the response to the picture she’d posted of Quade, everyone seemed to agree. She should have been snapped up years ago.
As they rounded the corner of Axedale Hall, they saw a group of estate workers standing by a large fenced-off area occupied by a horsebox-style trailer.
“Why the alpacas, Annie?” Penny asked.
“I thought it would be a nice to have something to interest the children who visit here with their parents. Everyone loves alpacas, and I thought they’d be a good place to start. We’re eventually going to have goats, hens, the whole petting zoo experience.”
“That’s a great idea.” Penny smiled.
“Riley thought it was, but you should have seen the faces of Harry, Quade, and Stevens the estate manager when I suggested them.”
Penny laughed. “I can just imagine. Was Harry easy to talk around?”
“Harry’s always easy to talk around.” Annie winked at her.
When she turned back to face the field, she saw Quade was one of the people helping with the alpacas.
“Quade’s there.” Penny stopped dead. “It’ll be awkward. I’ll just go home.”
Annie grasped her arm, “Don’t be silly. It’ll give you a chance to talk. She’s a good friend to have while you’re here, Penny.”
While I’m here. She was reminded again that she had the perfect excuse to escape her burgeoning attraction. She was going home to London in a month or so.
“Okay.”
* * *
Quade walked up the ramp of the truck to help with the last alpacas out. After a lot of research, they had decided on four females to start with, and they’d see how they settled. Annie hoped they might breed with them at some point. Baby alpacas would be a good attraction.
Jack, one of the estate workers, was struggling with the last alpaca.
“Quade, this one doesn’t want to move,” Jack said.
“Stand back from her,” Quade told him. She approached the more dominant female from the side and slowly and gently took hold of her harness.
She stroked its nose while she said in a soft calming voice, “Hello there. You don’t like to be handled, eh? I know another girl like you who is independent and doesn’t like to be pushed into things.”
Quade’s gaze drifted over to the fence where Penny, Harry, Annie, and the children were watching.
“I know you’re scared, but we’ve got a lovely pasture for you and your girls to live in, and a wading pool to cool off in, if you’ll take that first step.”
Quade could tell her soothing voice was calming the animal, even though it couldn’t understand her words.
She knew as well that Penny’s eyes never left hers, and she was sorry now for not going over to Northwood Cottage and trying to mend what had happened in her kitchen. Quade had been confused and angry at the start but soon came to realize that Penny was simply scared. A scared young woman frightened of showing anything but the ditzy city girl.
She should have gone back to see her. Quade patted the alpaca a few more times, then took a step forward, and the animal followed suit. She then took two and three steps, and soon the alpaca was walking down the ramp to join its pack mates.
Everyone clapped as it bounced off towards its friends. Quade turned back around and saw Penny struggling to keep Princess in her arms, while holding her video camera.
I’m not giving up on you.
Quade strode over to the fence and took Princess from Penny’s arms. “Hi, I’m sorry I haven’t been around to take Princess for a walk. I was trying to give you some space.”
“You’re apologizing to me? I was wrong. I—why do you have to be so nice and understanding, Sammy?”
Quade smiled at her warmly. “It’s who I am, and who I always will be.”
“Yes, you will, won’t you?” Penny said.
Quade couldn’t quite tell if that sentence was good or bad. She decided to change the subject. “Do you like the alpacas?”
A big smile erupted on Penny’s face. “I love them. I got some great video, and going by Riley and her little friend, they are going to be a big hit.”
Quade looked down to where Harry, Annie, and the girls were. They had a bucket of food and had enticed a few of the alpacas over to the fence.
“Yeah they will. I was sceptical at the start, but they’ll have a good life here. That’s for sure.”
“What did you say to that one that didn’t want to get out of the truck?” Penny asked.
Quade tickled Princess behind the ears and looked at Penny’s beautiful green eyes.
“I told her that I understood she was frightened to take t
hese new steps, but if she was brave enough and took them, that there was something wonderful waiting for her.”
Penny clearly got her meaning. In fact, it felt like there was no one else here but them gazing into each other’s eyes.
“Sammy? Would you come to my cottage tonight? I could show you how I make an episode of my show, and then we could eat dinner.”
“I would love to.” This was Quade’s chance to melt Penny as Bridge suggested, because as much as Penny was out of her league, and she probably wouldn’t be here for long, Quade was falling for her. She wanted to be the person who taught her love wasn’t scary.
* * *
Penny felt nervous. Not nervous like going in for a business meeting kind of nervous, but more of a giddy excitement. Giddiness was not something she was associated with. Ditzy, yes, but not giddy.
That was the only way she could describe the feeling she had in her stomach at the thought of Quade coming to watch her record and make dinner. She scrutinized her cream dress with pink flowers in the mirror above the fireplace and checked her hair. Luckily her ankle was feeling good enough for her to wear heels again.
“Do I look fabulous, Princess?” Princess didn’t respond. “No, I didn’t think so. How can she make me feel so nervous?”
Penny picked up her signature 1950s frilly apron and walked to the kitchen to check on dinner. She thought since Quade was watching, she would do a simple video but cook something extra special for her.
She figured Quade would like simple but tasty food, and she was trying to apologize, so there would be no making her eat extra healthy tonight. Penny looked in the oven and saw that the beef casserole she was cooking was doing okay.
There was a knock on the door, Penny jumped out of her skin, and Princess ran for the door, barking and going crazy.
Penny clutched her chest in an effort to calm a rapidly hammering heart. “Dear God, she’s here.”
