Rather to my amaze she said that Mary was out with the landlady
when she arrived; and eight--nine o'clock came, and she was absent
still.
At ten o'clock returned--not my wife, but Mrs. Stokes, and with her
a gentleman, who shook hands with me on coming into the room, and
said, "Mr. Titmarsh! I don't know whether you will remember me:
my name is Tiptoff. I have brought you a note from Mrs. Titmarsh,
and a message from my wife, who sincerely commiserates your loss,
and begs you will not be uneasy at Mrs. Titmarsh's absence. She
has been good enough to promise to pass the night with Lady
Tiptoff; and I am sure you will not object to her being away from
you, while she is giving happiness to a sick mother and a sick
child." After a few more words, my Lord left us. My wife's note
only said that Mrs. Stokes would tell me all.
CHAPTER XIII
IN WHICH IT IS SHOWN THAT A GOOD WIFE IS THE BEST DIAMOND A MAN CAN
WEAR IN HIS BOSOM
"Mrs. Titmarsh, ma'am," says Mrs. Stokes, "before I gratify your
curiosity, ma'am, permit me to observe that angels is scarce; and
it's rare to have one, much more two, in a family. Both your son
and your daughter-in-law, ma'am, are of that uncommon sort; they
are, now, reely, ma'am."
My mother said she thanked God for both of us; and Mrs. Stokes
proceeded:-
"When the fu- when the seminary, ma'am, was concluded this morning,
your poor daughter-in-law was glad to take shelter in my humble
parlour, ma'am; where she wept, and told a thousand stories of the
little cherub that's gone. Heaven bless us! it was here but a
month, and no one could have thought it could have done such a many
things in that time. But a mother's eyes are clear, ma'am; and I
had just such another angel, my dear little Antony, that was born
before Jemima, and would have been twenty-three now were he in this
wicked world, ma'am. However, I won't speak of him, ma'am, but of
what took place.
"You must know, ma'am, that Mrs. Titmarsh remained downstairs while
Mr. Samuel was talking with his friend Mr. Hoskins; and the poor
thing would not touch a bit of dinner, though we had it made
comfortable; and after dinner, it was with difficulty I could get
her to sup a little drop of wine-and-water, and dip a toast in it.
It was the first morsel that had passed her lips for many a long
hour, ma'am.
"Well, she would not speak, and I thought it best not to interrupt
her; but she sat and looked at my two youngest that were playing on
the rug; and just as Mr. Titmarsh and his friend Gus went out, the
boy brought the newspaper, ma'am, -it always comes from three to
four, and I began a-reading of it. But I couldn't read much, for
thinking of poor Mr. Sam's sad face as he went out, and the sad
story he told me about his money being so low; and every now and
then I stopped reading, and bade Mrs. T. not to take on so; and
told her some stories about my dear little Antony.
"'Ah!' says she, sobbing, and looking at the young ones, 'you have
other children, Mrs. Stokes; but that--that was my only one;' and
she flung back in her chair, and cried fit to break her heart: and
I knew that the cry would do her good, and so went back to my
paper--the Morning Post, ma'am; I always read it, for I like to
know what's a-going on in the West End.
"The very first thing that my eyes lighted upon was this:- 'Wanted,
immediately, a respectable person as wet-nurse. Apply at No. -,
Grosvenor Square.' 'Bless us and save us!' says I, 'here's poor
Lady Tiptoff ill;' for I knew her Ladyship's address, and how she
was confined on the very same day with Mrs. T.: and, for the
matter of that, her Ladyship knows my address, having visited here.
"A sudden thought came over me. 'My dear Mrs. Titmarsh,' said I,
'you know how poor and how good your husband is?'
"'Yes,' says she, rather surprised.
"'Well, my dear,' says I, looking her hard in the face, 'Lady
Tiptoff, who knows him, wants a nurse for her son, Lord Poynings.
Will you be a brave woman, and look for the place, and mayhap
replace the little one that God has taken from you?'
"She began to tremble and blush; and then I told her what you, Mr.
Sam, had told me the other day about your money matters; and no
sooner did she hear it than she sprung to her bonnet, and said,
'Come, come:' and in five minutes she had me by the arm, and we
walked together to Grosvenor Square. The air did her no harm, Mr.
Sam, and during the whole of the walk she never cried but once, and
then it was at seeing a nursery-maid in the Square.
"A great fellow in livery opens the door, and says, 'You're the
forty-fifth as come about this 'ere place; but, fust, let me ask
you a preliminary question. Are you a Hirishwoman?'
"'No, sir,' says Mrs. T.
"'That suffishnt, mem,' says the gentleman in plush; 'I see you're
not by your axnt. Step this way, ladies, if you please. You'll
find some more candidix for the place upstairs; but I sent away
forty-four happlicants, because they WAS Hirish.'
"We were taken upstairs over very soft carpets, and brought into a
room, and told by an old lady who was there to speak very softly,
for my Lady was only two rooms off. And when I asked how the baby
and her Ladyship were, the old lady told me both were pretty well:
only the doctor said Lady Tiptoff was too delicate to nurse any
longer; and so it was considered necessary to have a wet-nurse.
"There was another young woman in the room--a tall fine woman as
ever you saw--that looked very angry and contempshious at Mrs. T.
and me, and said, 'I've brought a letter from the duchess whose
daughter I nust; and I think, Mrs. Blenkinsop, mem, my Lady Tiptoff
may look far before she finds such another nuss as me. Five feet
six high, had the small-pox, married to a corporal in the
Lifeguards, perfectly healthy, best of charactiers, only drink
water; and as for the child, ma'am, if her Ladyship had six, I've a
plenty for them all.'
"As the woman was making this speech, a little gentleman in black
came in from the next room, treading as if on velvet. The woman
got up, and made him a low curtsey, and folding her arms on her
great broad chest, repeated the speech she had made before. Mrs.
T. did not get up from her chair, but only made a sort of a bow;
which, to be sure, I thought was ill manners, as this gentleman was
evidently the apothecary. He looked hard at her and said, 'Well,
my good woman, and are you come about the place too?'
"'Yes, sir,' says she, blushing.
"'You seem very delicate. How old is your child? How many have
you had? What character have you?'
"Your wife didn't answer a word; so I stepped up, and said, 'Sir,'
says I, 'this lady has just lost her first child, and isn't used to
look for places, being the daughter of a captain in the navy; so
you'll excuse her want of manners in not getting up when you came
in.'
"The doctor a
t this sat down and began talking very kindly to her;
he said he was afraid that her application would be unsuccessful,
as Mrs. Horner came very strongly recommended from the Duchess of
Doncaster, whose relative Lady Tiptoff was; and presently my Lady
appeared, looking very pretty, ma'am, in an elegant lace-cap and a
sweet muslin robe-de-sham.
"A nurse came out of her Ladyship's room with her; and while my
Lady was talking to us, walked up and down in the next room with
something in her arms.
"First, my Lady spoke to Mrs. Horner, and then to Mrs. T.; but all
the while she was talking, Mrs. Titmarsh, rather rudely, as I
thought, ma'am, was looking into the next room: looking--looking
at the baby there with all her might. My Lady asked her her name,
and if she had any character; and as she did not speak, I spoke up
for her, and said she was the wife of one of the best men in the
world; that her Ladyship knew the gentleman, too, and had brought
him a haunch of venison. Then Lady Tiptoff looked up quite
astonished, and I told the whole story: how you had been head
clerk, and that rascal, Brough, had brought you to ruin. 'Poor
thing!' said my Lady: Mrs. Titmarsh did not speak, but still kept
looking at the baby; and the great big grenadier of a Mrs. Horner
looked angrily at her.
"'Poor thing!' says my Lady, taking Mrs. T.'s hand very kind, 'she
seems very young. How old are you, my dear?'
"'Five weeks and two days!' says your wife, sobbing.
"Mrs. Horner burst into a laugh; but there was a tear in my Lady's
eyes, for she knew what the poor thing was a-thinking of.
"'Silence, woman!' says she angrily to the great grenadier woman;
and at this moment the child in the next room began crying.
"As soon as your wife heard the noise, she sprung from her chair
and made a stop forward, and put both her hands to her breast and
said, 'The child--the child--give it me!' and then began to cry
again.
"My Lady looked at her for a moment, and then ran into the next
room and brought her the baby; and the baby clung to her as if he
knew her: and a pretty sight it was to see that dear woman with
the child at her bosom.
"When my Lady saw it, what do you think she did? After looking on
it for a bit, she put her arms round your wife's neck and kissed
her.
"'My dear,' said she, 'I am sure you are as good as you are pretty,
and you shall keep the child: and I thank God for sending you to
me!'
"These were her very words; and Dr. Bland, who was standing by,
says, 'It's a second judgment of Solomon!'
"'I suppose, my Lady, you don't want ME?' says the big woman, with
another curtsey.
"'Not in the least!' answers my Lady, haughtily, and the grenadier
left the room: and then I told all your story at full length, and
Mrs. Blenkinsop kept me to tea, and I saw the beautiful room that
Mrs. Titmarsh is to have next to Lady Tiptoff's; and when my Lord
came home, what does he do but insist upon coming back with me here
in a hackney-coach, as he said he must apologise to you for keeping
your wife away."
I could not help, in my own mind, connecting this strange event
which, in the midst of our sorrow, came to console us, and in our
poverty to give us bread,--I could not help connecting it with the
DIAMOND PIN, and fancying that the disappearance of that ornament
had somehow brought a different and a better sort of luck into my
family. And though some gents who read this, may call me a poor-
spirited fellow for allowing my wife to go out to service, who was
bred a lady and ought to have servants herself: yet, for my part,
I confess I did not feel one minute's scruple or mortification on
the subject. If you love a person, is it not a pleasure to feel
obliged to him? And this, in consequence, I felt. I was proud and
happy at being able to think that my dear wife should be able to
labour and earn bread for me, now misfortune had put it out of my
power to support me and her. And now, instead of making any
reflections of my own upon prison discipline, I will recommend the
reader to consult that admirable chapter in the Life of Mr.
Pickwick in which the same theme is handled, and which shows how
silly it is to deprive honest men of the means of labour just at
the moment when they most want it. What could I do? There were
one or two gents in the prison who could work (literary gents,--one
wrote his "Travels in Mesopotamia," and the other his "Sketches at
Almack's," in the place); but all the occupation I could find was
walking down Bridge Street, and then up Bridge Street, and staring
at Alderman Waithman's windows, and then at the black man who swept
the crossing. I never gave him anything; but I envied him his
trade and his broom, and the money that continually fell into his
old hat. But I was not allowed even to carry a broom.
Twice or thrice--for Lady Tiptoff did not wish her little boy often
to breathe the air of such a close place as Salisbury Square--my
dear Mary came in the thundering carriage to see me. They were
merry meetings; and--if the truth must be told--twice, when nobody
was by, I jumped into the carriage and had a drive with her; and
when I had seen her home, jumped into another hackney-coach and
drove back. But this was only twice; for the system was dangerous,
and it might bring me into trouble, and it cost three shillings
from Grosvenor Square to Ludgate Hill.
Here, meanwhile, my good mother kept me company; and what should we
read of one day but the marriage of Mrs. Hoggarty and the Rev.
Grimes Wapshot! My mother, who never loved Mrs. H., now said that
she should repent all her life having allowed me to spend so much
of my time with that odious ungrateful woman; and added that she
and I too were justly punished for worshipping the mammon of
unrighteousness and forgetting our natural feelings for the sake of
my aunt's paltry lucre. "Well, Amen!" said I. "This is the end of
all our fine schemes! My aunt's money and my aunt's diamond were
the causes of my ruin, and now they are clear gone, thank Heaven!
and I hope the old lady will be happy; and I must say I don't envy
the Rev. Grimes Wapshot." So we put Mrs. Hoggarty out of our
thoughts, and made ourselves as comfortable as might be.
Rich and great people are slower in making Christians of their
children than we poor ones, and little Lord Poynings was not
christened until the month of June. A duke was one godfather, and
Mr. Edmund Preston, the State Secretary, another; and that kind
Lady Jane Preston, whom I have before spoken of, was the godmother
to her nephew. She had not long been made acquainted with my
wife's history; and both she and her sister loved her heartily and
were very kind to her. Indeed, there was not a single soul in the
house, high or low, but was fond of that good sweet creature; and
the very footmen were as ready to serve her as they were their own
mistres
s.
"I tell you what, sir," says one of them. "You see, Tit my boy,
I'm a connyshure, and up to snough; and if ever I see a lady in my
life, Mrs. Titmarsh is one. I can't be fimiliar with her--I've
tried--"
"Have you, sir?" said I.
"Don't look so indignant! I can't, I say, be fimiliar with her as
I am with you. There's a somethink in her, a jenny-squaw, that
haws me, sir! and even my Lord's own man, that 'as 'ad as much
success as any gentleman in Europe--he says that, cuss him--"
"Mr. Charles," says I, "tell my Lord's own man that, if he wants to
keep his place and his whole skin, he will never address a single
word to that lady but such as a servant should utter in the
presence of his mistress; and take notice that I am a gentleman,
though a poor one, and will murder the first man who does her
wrong!"
Mr. Charles only said "Gammin!" to this: but psha! in bragging
about my own spirit, I forgot to say what great good fortune my
dear wife's conduct procured for me.
On the christening-day, Mr. Preston offered her first a five, and
then a twenty-pound note; but she declined either; but she did not
decline a present that the two ladies made her together, and this
was no other than MY RELEASE FROM THE FLEET. Lord Tiptoff's lawyer
paid every one of the bills against me, and that happy christening-
day made me a free man. Ah! who shall tell the pleasure of that
day, or the merry dinner we had in Mary's room at Lord Tiptoff's
house, when my Lord and my Lady came upstairs to shake hands with
me!
"I have been speaking to Mr. Preston," says my Lord, "the gentleman
with whom you had the memorable quarrel, and he has forgiven it,
although he was in the wrong, and promises to do something for you.
We are going down, meanwhile, to his house at Richmond; and be
sure, Mr. Titmarsh, I will not fail to keep you in his mind."
"MRS. Titmarsh will do that," says my Lady; "for Edmund is woefully
smitten with her!" And Mary blushed, and I laughed, and we were
all very happy: and sure enough there came from Richmond a letter
to me, stating that I was appointed fourth clerk in the Tape and
Sealing-wax Office, with a salary of 80L. per annum.
Here perhaps my story ought to stop; for I was happy at last, and
have never since, thank Heaven! known want: but Gus insists that I
should add how I gave up the place in the Tape and Sealing-wax
Office, and for what reason. That excellent Lady Jane Preston is
long gone, and so is Mr. P- off in an apoplexy, and there is no
harm now in telling the story.
The fact was, that Mr. Preston had fallen in love with Mary in a
much more serious way than any of us imagined; for I do believe he
invited his brother-in-law to Richmond for no other purpose than to
pay court to his son's nurse. And one day, as I was coming post-
haste to thank him for the place he had procured for me, being
directed by Mr. Charles to the "scrubbery," as he called it, which
led down to the river--there, sure enough, I found Mr. Preston, on
his knees too, on the gravel-walk, and before him Mary, holding the
little lord.
"Dearest creature!" says Mr. Preston, "do but listen to me, and
I'll make your husband consul at Timbuctoo! He shall never know of
it, I tell you: he CAN never know of it. I pledge you my word as
a Cabinet Minister! Oh, don't look at me in that arch way: by
heavens, your eyes kill me!"
Mary, when she saw me, burst out laughing, and ran down the lawn;
my Lord making a huge crowing, too, and holding out his little fat
hands. Mr. Preston, who was a heavy man, was slowly getting up,
when, catching a sight of me looking as fierce as the crater of
Mount Etna,--he gave a start back and lost his footing, and rolled
over and over, walloping into the water at the garden's edge. It
was not deep, and he came bubbling and snorting out again in as
The Great Hoggarty Diamond Page 15
