by Everly Frost
When I glance up, his chest is vibrating. He can’t seem to hold in his laughter.
The shred of forgiveness I sensed before expands and the tension in my chest eases. He told me that humans were capable of both light and darkness. So far he has proven to have a seemingly endless capacity to feel emotion.
“Do you have any idea how silly you look right now?” he asks.
I shrug under the coat. “Unless you’re going to offer to lie under me, this is the only way I can see it without freezing my limbs off. Come on. Get down here.”
With a final huff-laugh, he tucks his coat under his knees, retracts his hands inside his sleeves, and crouches over the surface.
I wait the two seconds it takes for him to inhale a surprised breath.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I ask.
Far below us, the diamond’s light flickers through the frozen water. Even when they combine their powers, the Frost fae aren’t strong enough to freeze the lake all the way to the bottom, so a stream of icy water still flows around the diamond, causing the brilliant, white light to shift and flash.
I give a happy sigh. “I could watch it all night.”
Nathaniel suddenly reaches out between us. He balances on his other arm, still tucked into his sleeve, using strength alone to remain steady as he strokes my cheek.
His dark eyes are serious. “There’s a playful heart locked up inside you, Aura. When you’re happy, you’re like a dancing star.”
I’m not sure if I should be offended that he pretty much told me I was acting like a child. “I… don’t get to do silly things very often.”
“It wasn’t an insult,” he says.
I wrench my eyes away from the diamond to turn onto my back, keeping my coat between my legs and the icy surface beneath me. The hood protects the back of my head and neck as I stare up at the stars above us. The vast night sky stretches wide, the same kind of deep oblivion that I dream about. Now that the celebrations are dying down, lamps are being extinguished around the city and it only makes the sky glow brighter than ever.
Is pure happiness childish?
Despite everything going on around me, these few seconds lying here are the most peaceful I’ve felt for a very long time.
Nathaniel’s quiet question breaks into my thoughts. “Are you using your power right now?”
I don’t look away from the sky, not wanting the moment to end. “No.”
He hovers his hand above my cheek, demanding my attention. “You’re glowing, but I’m not touching you.”
“Hmm.” I poke a single finger out of the sleeve of my coat so I can see it. “That’s new.”
A thoughtful crease appears on his forehead as he leans over me. “I thought I had your glow figured out, but now I’m not so sure…”
I arch an eyebrow at him. “Well, I’m curious. Even if you’re wrong… What did you think was causing it?”
His smile becomes self-satisfied. “I thought it was because of the way I make you feel. The more intense the feeling, the more intense the glow.”
I laugh out loud. I’m probably reading way too much into what he’s saying, but I’m prepared to go out on a limb, even if it snaps beneath me. “You thought it was all about sex? Because that’s not overconfidence on your part at all.”
His thumb grazes my upper lip. “Why don’t we test the theory?”
My smile drains away. I should probably be shocked. I consider for a second whether he drank a bluebell while I wasn’t looking because intoxication would explain his proposition.
His fingertips graze my temple as he strokes the hair from my face, splaying the strands out across my hood, his hands coaxing me to agree.
“Only a kiss,” I whisper. “No more.”
Fear strikes through me the moment I give him permission.
Darkness attracts darkness, Crispin said. If the Fell creatures are darkness, then there must be some kind of darkness inside me, too, because right now, all I want is him.
Not just a kiss.
More.
Even if a kiss is all I’ll take.
He’s still balancing on one hand, his other hand stroking down my neck, his thumb resting against my jaw so lightly that it makes me shiver, soft sensations playing beneath my ear and across my scalp.
His head tilts to mine, hovering above me for the briefest, most agonizing moment before his lips lower to mine, fitting perfectly to the contours of my mouth.
Pleasure strikes through me, hot and intense. More intense than I should be feeling. More desire than I ever expected would be triggered by a kiss alone.
I gasp, nearly breaking the contact.
His hand tightens against my face, his fingers curling into my hair as he nudges my lips apart, only to abandon my mouth for the lower curve of my bottom lip. His lips trace across mine to the corner of my mouth and back again, branding every miniscule portion of my skin.
My breathing is already out of control. My lips are parted, unable to get enough air to keep me sane. Nothing could keep me lucid right now.
He finally returns fully to my mouth, tasting every curve of my lips. With every tingle and every shiver, want rages through my body, striking straight down into my center.
My back arches up off my coat. I don’t care that the edges slip apart. I need to be closer to him, closer to his heart. My hands slip from my sleeves in a rush, sliding beneath the opening of his coat to tug him down to me. I need the crush of his chest on mine, his heart as close to me as it can be.
His palm drags from my neck to my ribs, curling securely around my hip, not anywhere near enough to my center to ease the ache inside me. A moan slips from my mouth, an unintelligible wish, but his hand remains where it is, gripping me so tightly, it’s like he’s mentally shouting at himself not to move it.
Only a kiss.
That’s all I gave him permission for and he’s honoring my wishes, even though my body is a willing betrayer.
My coat slips apart completely, allowing his chest to press against mine, easing the need inside my heart—but only for a moment.
His tongue touches the tip of mine and I’m lost.
Desire rages from my center to my heart. Shivers run back and forth inside my core, building in a wave I can’t control. The wave tugs at my heart, tearing at me, tearing through me.
I kiss him without any inhibition, my mouth opening to his, and he responds with all the intensity I need.
His tongue finally plunges into my mouth and it’s a strike all the way through my heart and beyond me. Far, far beyond me. My stomach tightens low inside me, a cry building inside my mouth. The pressure between us intensifies and a final wave crashes over me.
Starlight bursts from my chest at the same time as I shatter against his lips, a release as complete as if he’d plunged his fingers inside me.
Shock follows relief—and then fear—as light spears between us, flooding our chests.
Too much power.
Terror that I’ve hurt him destroys me. “Nathaniel!”
He jolts back from me. His hand flies to his chest, pressing hard, his breathing rapid and shallow, his dark eyes shooting wide as he stares at me in shock.
He’s okay.
I tell myself he’s okay.
His eyes are impossibly dark as my starlight vanishes, the last tentacles of light dancing up across his shoulders while strands of his hair fall across his face in black lines. He slowly lifts up into a kneeling position.
“Dark stars,” he whispers, dragging air into his chest as if he can’t breathe. “What have we done?”
My coat is splayed apart. I’m nearly naked underneath it, but my chest glows right where my heart is, a deep burn that’s beginning to feel emptier and emptier the farther he leans away from me.
“I…”
Am confused. Afraid. Lost.
He kissed me. Just a kiss. But my body… holy stars… my body responded as if he were part of me, as if we were completely joined and he was stroking inside my
center.
It’s not possible.
I don’t know anywhere near as much about sex as I should, but an orgasm from a kiss is… Not. Possible.
It didn’t happen. I must be delusional. The stress of the day and my confused feelings toward him are finally getting the better of me.
I hurry to rise into a sitting position, tugging the coat around myself to cover up.
Nathaniel starts to speak. “Aura, I—”
A blast of heat explodes around us. Blazing fire roars across the surface of the lake, coming from the direction of the stairs. Nathaniel dives toward me, snatching me up and rolling with me as the flames strike the spot where we were lying.
A figure covered in black armor runs toward us, her arms outstretched as she releases another plume of fire at Nathaniel.
I grit my teeth, a scream of rage on my lips.
I’m done with being defensive.
Spinning out of Nathaniel’s arms, I rise from a crouch, my power an icy burn as it rushes from my chest through my arms and into my hands. I shove my palms forward. My starlight cuts right through the flames, speeding up the middle and splitting the plume in half so fast that the fire streaks off to both sides.
Our attacker skids to a stop and digs in her heels, increasing her power just in time to stop my starlight cutting right through her chest. The flames around her build in intensity, forming an instant shield along the length of her body while my starlight widens.
My power pushes at hers, forcing her arms and her flames to stretch wider and wider. The air around us fills with sunlight and starlight, both powers dazzling, lighting up the space for hundreds of paces.
She screams with effort, but my power feels weightless. Stronger than I’ve ever been.
I stride toward her, drawing my hands apart until the starlight pouring from me covers her entire body and her shield begins to fail, glittering white light eating away at her sunlight.
A pinpoint of my power breaks through her defenses, cutting across her collarbone.
Her scream of pain is too familiar.
I heard it once before in the arena.
I shut off my power so I don’t burn her entire body.
She staggers before she collapses to her knees, her head tilted back. Her scream is now full of rage. “He has to die!”
I drop to my knees in front of her and rip off her facemask. “Why?”
Serena’s amber hair cascades across her shoulders, her gold-flecked eyes turned up to me. “I’m trying to save you.”
I shake my head vehemently. “Not like this.”
She grips my arm. “You haven’t killed in the arena. Ever. I can save you from that.”
“You’re trying to get around the Law by burning him—by not shedding his blood—but you won’t fool the Law if he dies by your hand. You’ll die too!”
Her fingers claw my arm. “I should have died when you beat me, but you wouldn’t let me go. You wouldn’t let the healers give up until they saved me. It’s my duty to kill the Fell.”
“Who says?”
I search her eyes. Serena was always a survivor. She fought me hard in the arena, but she wasn’t reckless—or desperate like Calida. It isn’t like Serena to risk her life without calculating all the risks.
My blood runs cold. “Did the Queen order you to kill him?”
“Imatra doesn’t trust you to do it.”
My chest fills with bitterness. Imatra has threatened the people I love. Now she’s ordering them to kill themselves. “Even though she knows you’ll die if you succeed?”
“It’s my duty to do right by her.”
I stare into Serena’s eyes, anger rising inside me. “It’s our duty to do right by our people. Our people, Serena! Not what suits the Queen’s selfish wants.”
Her eyes widen. “What’s right for the Queen is what’s right for our people.”
“Threatening our people is not right. Bartering their lives for favors is not right. Clinging to power for the sake of power is not right. She has lied and manipulated—how can I trust anything she says?”
As I speak, I can’t help but hope that Serena didn’t know what was going on, that she was in the dark about the dying children like I was, but my hope is dashed.
Her lips press downward, a disapproving line. “Imatra does what’s necessary, Aura. Even if it means that the weakest in our society are eliminated. We’re here to carry out her orders. That includes managing our people and killing every Fell we can.”
Managing our people. What a way to sanitize Imatra’s actions.
I sense Serena’s power building again. See the flicker of her gaze to a spot behind me.
Nathaniel is striding up behind me, a perfect target, and I know Serena’s next move as surely as if she told me.
I grab her rising hand before she can release her power at him. Wrenching her arm against her chest, I press her palm over the burn I made.
She screams again, this time in pain. “Release me!”
“No.”
I’ve never disobeyed her. Fought her, challenged her, but never defied her.
She shrieks as I fill her chest with starlight. It lights up her body beneath her clothing, her organs and bones turning into gleaming silhouettes. I ease back on my power moments before every organ in her body would fail, tucking my arm around her shoulders and gently lowering her to the surface of the ice.
She’s still breathing, but barely.
Inside, I’m as numb as the frozen lake around me.
Nathaniel reaches me just as I hook my arms beneath Serena’s shoulders and prepare to drag her to the side. “I need to get her off the lake or she’ll freeze.”
When he bends to help me, I stop him. “Don’t. She’s hurt. I don’t want to trigger some twisted part of the Law that implicates you in her injuries.”
His expression is unreadable. “You chose not to kill her.”
“Like I said… all I have is my conscience and my heart.” I drag Serena beneath the whisper willows, quietly fighting my own misgivings. Serena trained me. She groomed me. She nurtured a desire in me to always obey the Queen. She will never doubt her convictions or ask whether she’s doing the right thing. Not like I will.
“You’re leaving a string of enemies in your wake, Aura. She won’t give up.”
“Then I need to become stronger,” I say, standing over Serena. I need to know what really happened on the night my parents died. That means going back to the burn site.
To do that, I need my armor and I need Treble. Whistling for Treble is easy, but getting my armor is much harder. I can’t risk walking through the palace right now, and I can’t fly up to my window and leap inside like Evander did earlier because of this damn Law. If I hit that invisible wall and fall instead… Nathaniel can watch me plummet all the way to my death.
I consider my coat and Serena’s black armor.
She’s a similar height and build to me…
Before I think about how cold I’m going to be while I change, I drop to her side and quickly unclasp her armor, peeling it off her arms and chest and dragging it down her legs. As fast as I can, I slip off my coat, throw it over her to keep her warm, and roll her up in it, making sure it covers her completely. My breath frosts, my arms shake, and my chest constricts, but I manage to pull on her armor moments before Nathaniel drags me against his chest and wraps his coat around me.
He sighs against my hair as I shiver against him. “You’re allowed to ask for help,” he says.
I shake my head, even though I’m grateful for his body heat while I wait for the thermal properties in the armor to bring my temperature under control. Being so close to him again is confusing my body.
As soon as my teeth stop chattering, I slip out of his coat as quickly as I can and finish doing up the clasps on the armor. I’m happy to discover that it stretches and conforms to my body shape, even if the sleeves are a little too long. I’m also very happy to discover that it comes complete with liquid weapons: a dagger acros
s each hip and a sword across the left shoulder, all functioning correctly.
Without delay, I press my fingers to my lips. My whistle is quick and sharp.
Before I can walk back out into the open so that Treble can see us easily, Nathaniel halts me with a simple brush of his hand across my arm. He doesn’t grab me, doesn’t force me to stop, merely rests his palm against me.
“Aura.”
The sound of my name on his lips sounds like a caress.
I turn my eyes up to his, waiting for him to voice his thoughts. Fighting Serena allowed me to avoid the conversation he and I need to have, but I don’t know how to start.
It was a perfect, earth-shattering kiss. Can I start with that?
Whatever he’s about to say, it’s lost in the crackles of Treble’s lightning as my thunderbird soars across the lake. He lands safely on the frozen surface, his talons clawing at the ice to break his flight.
Nathaniel withdraws his hand, but it’s slow and reluctant.
“We need to move fast,” I say. “You first.”
He gives me a nod before we break into a run. He precedes me up Treble’s wing, his steps practiced now.
I follow quickly, sliding in behind him, but I take a deep breath before I lean past him to my bird. “Treble, take us to where the ash burns.”
Treble knows I mean the burn site where my parents died. We’ve passed over it a hundred times on my flights to and from the border. He immediately lifts into the air and spears a path high into the clouds where we won’t be seen.
The only way to understand my future is to go back to where my life began.
Chapter 21
We leave the city far behind, flying toward the crystal peaks and taking the narrow pass between them. Gliding beyond the mountains, we soar above the flower fields that stretch between the mountains and the border. The deadly glitter field that marks the border finally comes into view in the distance.
Evander said that multiple squadrons were being sent out here to defend against a Fell attack. I sense all of the thunderbirds hiding within the clouds in the distance—not only the usual Border Guards but multiple squadrons placed at intervals up and down the border. Possibly as many as one hundred.
