by Tilly Hart
'I will not kill you. Other than our sisters’, my guards and Ellerd, no-one knows what transpired. I intend to keep it that way. I will hold you in the tower, I will have your wounds seen to so they do not fester, and have your bones set to minimise any long-term damage. You may have become a monster, but I have not.'
'Another stupid decision Dante. And you wonder why our father wanted you dead? Almost as stupid as falling for your whore's ruse.'
I flinched and tried to temper the anger which rose in a great wave of heat through my cheeks.
'Did she even stick around once you got her sisters back? Or was she out of here faster than she got into your bed?'
Don't react Dante. It's what he wants. The only weapon he had left were his words to hurt you.
It was true though,Diego understood Simone more than I did, I was so sure that she would stay, that the love we'd began to share would be enough to get us through. I hoped, given time, it still would be. I didn't give him the satisfaction of an answer.
‘I will have you moved shortly. I will send Ellerd to enquire about the details of the journey you undertook after Father's death. I would advise you cooperate with him, he would enjoy practicing his art more thoroughly on you, and I may be less inclined to hold him back in the future.'
'Yes, your Majesty.' It was amazing, really, how he could make an honorific sounds so like an affliction.
I left before he could fire any more anger inducing words at me. With each step closer to the palace, to light and air, I grew more determined to prove him wrong, and win Simone's heart once and for all. I needed a woman's view, I'd consult my sisters hoping they could shed some light on the way to a woman's heart.
Weeks had passed since my return to my father's home with my sisters. The homecoming had been far from heartfelt. I couldn't blame my step-mother and father, I had shamed them and brought danger into their home. I hadn't divulged my role in attempting to kill the king, my sharing a bed with a man outwith a marriage was cause enough for my step-mother to want me out. It was only my father's grace that I remained. My time hadn't been easy though. To pay penance for my mistakes my step-mother required me to copy passages from the priest's holy book, under his watchful eye, until my hands ached and cramped. They made me take my evening meals alone in my room, treated like an errant child rather than a woman grown. But what choice did I have? This was home now.
My heart yearned for Dante, though. Yearned to be walking with him through rose gardens, or watching him laugh at a silly play. To kiss him in the moonlight and dance in his arms. To spend hours loving each other, without the urge of another blackmail souring our hours together. I made my choice to remain with my sisters, to see them from and to protect them, but it didn't make the pain any less.
I loved him. And I'd rejected him.
He's said he'd come after three months, yet he'd also said he would write every day, and not one letter had arrived. Perhaps he'd found another to indulge in, or perhaps he's finally come to realise that I wasn‘t worth even a moment of his time, far less months of it.
Voices arose from the parlour, heated whisper-shouts of an argument. There had been a lot of tension in these past weeks, and I'd long been wondering where it would land us all. I stole closer to the doorway and leaned against it, listening quietly to what was being said.
'...made mistakes, they have laughed her out of court and they sent her home from Dostland with her tail between her legs, that should be punishment enough.' My father's voice was even, it was my step-mother's that was high and shrill and filled with venom.
'I do not want her under my roof, she brings shame to our name. She's lucky that he's even made an offer. We should accept it.'
'Maria, I do not wish to push her into a marriage she doesn't desire. More offers will come, in time.' Marriage? I'm only just home and already she wants to marry me off to some suitor. I came home to be with my sisters, not to be sent away at the first sign of someone willing to take me. I may have gained a name for myself as having shared a bed with royalty, but I was still young and still noble.
'More offers? I think you overestimate your daughter. She may be a pretty trinket, but Simone has been publicly tarnished. Do you really think she would have shunned a prince and a king? Don't be silly, they didn'twant her.'
She was wrong, Dante had wanted me. His final kiss was full of fire that spoke of the deep desires he still held. It had been me who set those fires to ashes. I gripped my skirt between my fingers and twisted at the fabric as I listened to the character assassination beyond the door.
'There is always another man looking for a beautiful young wife. She is kind, she cares intently for those she loves and is smart. She will find love, in time.'
'Love?' my step-mother scoffed in response, 'Love is not what that girl needs, she needs a good dose of reality. Do you know what the gossips say? She spent two years out giving herself to men, and not once did she get with child. They say that she must be barren.'
My Father coughed and cleared his throat. 'As you well know, Maria, there are ways to avoid falling pregnant. What have I told you of listening to the idle chatter of bored wives?'
'If she waits much longer, the rumours will spread and then no man will have her. We will have to feed her and cloth her all her life, is that what you want?'
'No. I want her to be happy.'
'Then you are as naïve as she.'
Her footsteps approached as she stormed away from my father so I ducked behind a vast curtain as she passed. Every muscle in her body sang with indignation and I suspected that my life here was about to become even harder.
'Papa?' I said, as I knocked softly at the door. He looked up at me with a warmth that I adored.
'Yes, my sweet?'
'May I speak with you a moment?'
'Come and take a seat.' We sat opposite one another beside the fire and took a moment to just enjoy the silence, watching the flickering flames engulf the logs that it would eventually consume. That's what love had felt like. Like a flame tearing around me, burning me into a mad desire, then leaving me forever seared by its touch.
'I heard what Maria said. Do you think it unwise to wait to take a husband?'
My father rubbed at his eyes and shook his head. 'It's not unwise, but you have to ask yourself what you are holding out for? Are you waiting for the king? I cannot see how he would marry you with the smear on your reputation. Do you wish to live as his mistress? His people expect him to marry, and soon, to produce heirs to the throne.'
I bit my lip and toyed with a ribbon my dress. He was right. Dante had given me a chance, and I'd blown it. All these weeks he hadn't sent a single letter nor had I had any messages passed along. I was fooling myself.
'Is the man kind? Is he a good man? Will he love me?'
'You have met before, he is Lord Dèssè.'
'Marco?'
'No, his uncle, Gregor.'
'But, he's more that twice my age!' My jaw gaped in surprise, I didn't want to marry a man in his fifties. I wanted someone vibrant and vital like Dante. NotlikeDante. I wanted Dante. But I needed to grow up and let go of that dream, no matter how my heart broke at the thought of a life without him.
'He is.' As always, my father was steady and calm, despite my reaction. 'But he is a good man, and a very wealthy man, he would look after you well. He needs an heir, you need a husband who will look past your mistakes. Such an advantageous match may not come about again.'
My heart sank as realisation hit. He was right. As much as the thought of an older husband didn't appeal, hell, no-one appealed other than Dante, if I could give him a child he‘d likely leave me be. I'd be close to my family and with a marriage in hand the gossip mongers would focus their attentions elsewhere.
'I should accept. But what of love? Of happiness?’
'My dear, more wars have been fought, and lives have been lost over love than convenience. Marriage is about securing the future for you and your children, love may come later. You are young,
god willing you will far outlive your husband. After the years spent dedicating your life to him and his children, you will be free to love again, and wealthy enough to never need marry again, thus freeing you to love where you will. Sometimes you need to play the long game.'
With legs like a newborn lamb, I stood shakily to my feet and took my father's hand. 'I will send word to the king, to let him know that I intend to accept the proposal, to ensure that he knows my intention. I will not marry before the first day of spring. If he hasn't come for me then, then I will marry Lord Dèssè.'
My father nodded and squeezed my hand, his eyes looking at me with a mixture of sadness and approval. ‘It is a wise choice Simone, you will live a good life, I am sure.'
I made it all the way back to my room before the tears fell. Curling up on my bed I let the sobs take me. I'd tasted love, and now it looked like I'd made the biggest mistake of my life by walking away from Dante. All I wanted was to tell him I was sorry, to tell him I had been scared and hurt and foolish. There was nothing left to do but give in to the life that I was doomed to endure.
Unless...
I sat up, dried my eyes and went to my writing desk, pulling out a fresh leaf of paper and dipping my quill into the inkpot. It was my last chance to tell him how I really felt, to explain my fears and the reason I ran from him when I should have been fleeing to him. I poured everything into that letter, sealing it with wax and sending a thousand prayers to whoever would hear them.
I hoped it would be enough.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
'Why am I only receiving this now?' My hand shook with anger as I gripped the letter from Simone. The date she sent it was almost six weeks prior, and the end of the three months I was giving her to clear her head was only days away. Urgent business in court had delayed my departure by two days, and I had sent word to Simone to warn her. Not that she'd replied to any of the letters I'd dutifully sent every day for the past three months.
The servant handed the letter to me amid court, while I listened to two noblemen babble on about the stretch of river which divided their land and who ought to own the fish it produced. All eyes landed on my when I reacted to the handing over of the letter. The servant messengers eye‘s widened in fear as my voice raised.
'I'm sorry, your Highness, it only just arrived this morning.'
I stood to the sound of gathering whispers and a hundred gossiping courtiers.
'We leave, now. Ready the horses.' Lars jumped forward at my instruction and Matteus headed off to warn the stable hands.
'Where to, your Majesty?'
'To Simone de Beauchamp's home.' The resounding gasps made me grin. Let them gossip, she was the only woman for me. Let them chatter until their tongues fell out.
Aurora stepped forward from her throne and lightly touched my arm. 'Are you sure Dante? Can you trust her?'
'In my whole life, she is the one thing I am sure about.'
'Then go with haste and our blessing, I can deal with the nobles and their fish.'
I kissed her hand and walked from the throne room, never more certain of a decision. Time was not on my side, the letter said she would marry on the first day of spring, and from the way she poured out her heart, she couldn't have received my many letters prior to the writing of her own. If she had, she'd never have doubted my love for her, and my insistence on coming for her. The first day of spring was two days away, her region was three days ride from the palace. We'd need to ride our horses hard and secure new ones when they tired. If we kept going through the night and only slept when we must, we might just make it.
The servant girl wove the white flowers into my braids with a deft hand. I stared at myself in the looking glass, hating every moment of my wedding day. Soon my father would come to take me to Lord Dèssè, and there would be no turning back. It had been seven weeks since I had written to Dante, and he hadn't even responded to my heartfelt plea. My heart ached at the loss of what could have been. He hadn't come on the first day of spring, and now here I was, to wed a man old enough to be my father. He may be a good man, but he was not the man I loved.
My step mother had hired a dressmaker from the city to design me a wedding gown of the finest fabrics. She'd insisted that I must be the picture of perfection for my new husband, lest he take one look at my sinner's face and flee. The sky blue damask matched the sweet spring day and contrasted with the white flowers in my hair. I evoked the vision of spring—she had said—to remind everyone that this was a new beginning, and that hope would prevail over my demeanours. Hope may have prevailed for her, but for me this marriage was the acceptance of a life without hope, a life of compromise, a life without passion or desire. Once consummated, not even a king nor a priest could annul a marriage.
The thought of consummating the marriage brought a whole other level of queasiness to my stomach. I'd rather have no other man, then have one who wasn't Dante. But as a wife I‘d have to perform my duties and provide my husband with the heir he so desperately craved.
'You look beautiful, Miss.' The servant smiled as she stood back and admired her work.
'Thank you.'
'I think they are almost ready with the carriage Miss, shall I check with the footman?'
'Please.'
The moment she left I leaned my face against my palms and let the tears claim me. It wasn't unusual, I knew, for a couple to enter a marriage on these sorts of terms, in fact amongst the nobility it was far more the norm, but it broke my heart all the same.
Why hadn't he come? He'd promised, and with the ferocity of that promise, I'd been sure he would have sent word at least.
But he hadn't, and I had to accept that it was over. Truly.
I stood and wiped my eyes, straightening my back and holding my head high. No more tears, they do nothing to change my fate. With determination driving my steps I got into the carriage beside my family, seated between my darling sisters, and trundled toward the village where my groom awaited.
'Will you come visit?' Ava asked as we approached the village, I squeezed her hand and nodded. 'As often as I am able.'
'Can we come live with you?' Flora rested her sweet face in my lap, and my step-mother scowled at her.
'No, you must stay with your mother, but if she permits it, you may come visit whenever you please, and I will have a room especially for you both.'
'Don't indulge them, Simone, it is not good for a child.'
She didn't know what was good for a child, she'd barely comforted them upon their return, merely handing them back over the nursery maid and tutor, and me. They were more of an inconvenience than anything else to her. I wished that I could take them with me, but Maria wouldn't allow it and I didn't have the authority to make her give themto me.
My mouth went dry as the carriage neared the town's gates. Oh god. This was happening.
'Look, there are riders coming up fast!' Ava's face pressed against the carriage window.
I tried not to let my hopes rise; it was foolish to hope that it was Dante.
Hoof beats thundered on the road, approaching at speed, and then they stopped. I could hear the ragged breath of horses outside, and an unfamiliar voice demanding we stop.
'Carry on!' Maria shouted, banging at the roof with one hand. My father smiled ruefully but didn't intervene.
'By order of the king, I demand you halt this carriage.'
The king? The king! Could it be true? Had he come for me? A surge of hope swelled in my chest as I peeked out of the window. The door swung outward and Lars’ head popped into the opening.
'Ah, Lady Simone, I'm very glad we found you. We've stopped many a carriage today and half frightened the occupants to death. Please, the king would speak with you.'
I stepped out, taking Lars’ outstretched hand and blinking as the day's light hurt my eyes.
Then I saw him. Dante. He stood by his horse, his clothes covered in sweat and dust, his muscles bulging from exertion. His eyes set upon me and without a word he walked forward and snaked
an arm around my waist, pulling me into a hard kiss. I gasped as he captured my mouth, but despite his salty sweat and his dirt stained face I kissed him back with all that I was worth.
'Simone, what are you doing? Your husband is waiting for you and here you are kissing a man in public. How dare you?'
I broke off the kiss, but stayed glued to Dante's side.
'He's not my husband. And I'll kiss who I please.'
I'd have laughed at the expression of sheer disbelief that contorted her face, but I had far more pressing matters at hand.
'I'm sorry that I left when I did. I've regretted the choice every minute since.'
'I told you I'd come for you, I wrote every day. Why didn't you respond if that's the way you felt?' My eyes widened, could it be true? I hadn't received a single letter in the many months since we'd last laid eyes on one another.
'I didn't get them. I thought you'd decided against your choice to wait and given up on us. I couldn't have blamed you. When my step-mother set up this marriage, I saw no other route for me, you had gone silent. But I couldn't marry another without leaving word with you and letting you know that I love you. Then the weeks passed without a response and I thought it must be true, that you really didn't care for me. So I proceeded with the marriage plans. The first day of spring arrived, and you did not.'
'The letter only arrived a few days ago, and I left immediately.'
'A few days ago... I sent it weeks ago!’ I knitted my eyebrows before realisation hit me. ‘Maria.'
She paled at my accusation. My father followed her out of the carriage and took her arm. 'My dear, I am sure Maria had good intentions at heart. When the girls brought me the letter I knew I owed it to you to send it.’
Maria scowled at the girls.
'You went through my things?' She barked the words at the girls before rounding on my father, 'And you went behind my back and indulged in the girls foolhardy?'
