by Amy Cecil
“Nah man, you take it easy tonight.” I pause and then remember church tomorrow. I say, “Hey, before I forget, can you call church for 11 am tomorrow?”
“Sure. I’ll do that now.”
“Good, thanks! I’ll see you in the AM.”
“Ok, see you tomorrow,” he says and disconnects the line.
Okay, two things done and a shitload more to do. I need to talk to the hospital, but I can do that in the morning. It’s late and I doubt that anyone who could do what I need is there at this hour anyway.
Then I call Dbag. He answers on the first ring, saying, “Hey Prez.”
“Hey man. Need you to do some checking for me on a Conner and Aillise O’Byrne. They live in Belfast, Ireland.”
“Sure, boss. What do you want to know about them?”
“Anything and everything. I know that they are currently missing. See if you can find out anything about where they were last seen. They are IRA, so that might help a bit,” I reply.
“IRA? What the fuck, Ice? What the hell is going on?”
“I’ll explain everything tomorrow. You’ll be getting word from Hawk, church tomorrow at 11. Be prepared to report back then.”
“You got it. Gotta get to work. See ya tomorrow,” he says eagerly.
“Thanks, Dbag.” I disconnect the line.
Now that all my boys are taken care of, I need to talk to Emma. I know she is expecting to go with me, but for her own safety and my peace of mind, I will not allow that. I’m not looking forward to this conversation, but it has to be done. I go back into the house and find Rebel back on the phone. The girls are chatting in the kitchen.
I’m beat. It’s been a long day starting with the meeting with the Satans, finding out that I’m gonna be a dad, and now this shit in Ireland … not to mention my newfound relatives. I walk over to Emma, kiss her on the cheek, and say goodnight to the girls. As I turn to go upstairs, Emma asks, “Cade? Are you alright?”
“Yeah babe, just beat. Gonna turn in early.”
Rebel looks up curiously and I say, “Everything’s good. I’ll fill you in on all the details in the morning.” Rebel nods and I proceed up the stairs.
Emma comes up not long after I get myself settled in bed. “Hey there,” she says when she sees that I’m still awake.
“Hey babe.” After she undresses she comes over and sits on the edge of the bed next to me. I take my hand and place it on her belly, right where I think my kid is growing. I ask, “You doing ok?”
She smiles. “For now, I sure am. But I doubt I will be feeling this good in the morning,” she says. “The morning sickness is taking its toll on me.”
“I need to talk to you about a few things, but right now, darl’n, all I can think about doing is losing myself in that sweet pussy of yours.” She smiles down at me and I realize that she likes that idea. Thank fuck! The sparkle of eagerness in her eye makes my dick rock hard. She fills my body with need.
I pull her body against me, crushing my lips to hers. Every time I taste her lips, it’s like coming home. Though it doesn’t seem remotely possible, my dick gets even harder. I ravage her mouth, drinking in her lips and swirling my tongue with hers. She pulls away from our kiss and looks at me intently. She leans in and begins trailing kisses from the back of my ear all the way down my torso, paying particular attention to the sides of my ribcage. She is working her magic, making me forget all the shit I have to worry about and making me focus on the incredible pleasure she is now providing me.
She works her way down to my erection, coming in closer as she pushes her way between my legs, curling her hand around me. My hands go to her hair as I grab hold and pull her closer, indicating that I want her mouth on me. I need to feel her warm mouth now. She begins to lick my cock as if she was licking a lollipop, and then she takes all of me in her warm wet mouth and sucks. Holy fuck!
“Look at me, babe. I want to see your eyes while you have my dick in your mouth.” She does as she is told and I fight the urge to grab her hair harder and completely take over fucking her mouth. I could take control of this, but she knows what I want and I know without a doubt that my girl will give it to me. Just then, I feel my dick hitting the back of her throat as her hand reaches up and begins to massage my balls. If this isn’t fucking ecstasy, then I don’t know what is. God, she is so fucking good at this.
When I’m about to cum, I take over and flip her on her back. Without a moment’s hesitation, I am balls deep inside her and her moans are driving me over the edge. Our fucking is ravenous, filled with need. But then, as I gaze into her beautiful blue eyes, we slow, feeling each other. The strain begins to build as I can feel her walls tightening around me. As she reaches her release she says, “I love you, Cade.” Her words are my undoing and I am filling her with my cum.
“God, baby, I love you too.”
She snuggles up next to me and we lay in the darkness for a while. Eventually she asks, “So, you’re leaving soon, aren’t you?”
“Yes. I’ve got a transport lined up from a friend of the club. It’s leaving Buffalo late Friday afternoon. Hawk will take us up there.”
“Us?” she asks eagerly.
“Not us as in you and I. Us as in me and Rebel, plus the brothers I choose to go with us,” I say.
“Oh,” she says, and I can hear the disappointment in her voice. “And what about me? Can I go too?” she asks.
“Babe, no. You’re staying here and taking care of yourself and my son.”
“But, Cade …” she starts to protest, but I guess she thinks better of it and never finishes her thought.
I don’t remember falling asleep, but Emma’s objection was the last thing I heard until I wake up abruptly in the middle of the night.
The room is dark and Emma is sound asleep. I sit up in bed and my mind begins to race. I’m dog-tired. I rub my hands over my face. So much has happened in so little time that I just can’t keep up anymore. It makes me wonder if the rest of my life is going to move this quickly.
The club has been through so much … first there was the situation with Emma’s friend, Brianne, then Emma’s abduction, Mark Grayson, my so-called death, moving out of guns, and now this shit in Ireland. Can I really leave my club right now? Maybe I should stay here and let Hawk go to Ireland and handle Rebel’s problem. As I continue to sit in bed wide awake, all these questions plague my thoughts.
I know what needs to be done and I know myself well enough to know that I won’t rest easy until I have taken care of things personally. I reassure myself that Hawk will be fine with the club and the transitions we’re trying to make. He will. And then there’s Rebel. He’s never asked me for anything—well, except for Ari, but that’s different. Since day one, he’s always been there for his club and me. And now, he needs me. He needs his club and I can’t in good conscience let him down.
“Cade, why can’t I go with you?” Emma whispers in the darkness.
Shit, I thought that this discussion was tabled. I really don’t want to deal with this now. I already have enough on my plate, but my girl deserves an answer.
“Babe, it’s too dangerous.” I wait to see if she says anything. When she doesn’t, I try to soften the blow by saying, “You know I’d love to have you with me. But like I said, it’s dangerous. I don’t have all the facts yet and I have no idea what we’re getting ourselves involved in. But I am hoping that we can go in, find my aunt and uncle, and get the hell out. I want this to be quick and painless and the only way I can make that happen is if I’m not constantly worrying about you. I can’t risk you or my child getting caught in any crossfire,” I explain.
“And what if you get caught in the crossfire?” she asks.
“I won’t,” I reply confidently.
“And you’re sure about that? Can you swear to me that nothing will happen to you?”
“Baby, you know I can’t do that. But I’ll do everything in my power to keep our boys and myself safe. Hell, if I can survive Mark Grayson, surely the IRA is go
nna be a piece of cake.” I’m trying to make light of the situation, but she isn’t laughing and obviously doesn’t like my humor. Fuck, I thought it was pretty funny.
“When do you leave again?” she asks.
“Friday.”
“So soon?”
“Yep, we need to get there as soon as possible. They’ve already been missing for a couple of weeks now, we can’t afford to waste any more time.”
“I know,” she says sadly. “I know you’re doing what you think is best. I just wish you didn’t have to go.” She hesitates and then adds, “I don’t know, Cade … I have an uneasy feeling about all of this.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. Something about this whole thing just has me rattled. I’m afraid that you or one of the boys are gonna get hurt,” she replies.
“The last thing I want you to do is worry that pretty little head of yours. We’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna be fine and our baby is gonna be fine,” I reply. I know that I can’t predict the future, but I’m gonna make damn sure that I do everything in my power to make sure that we all come home, whole and safe.
“I hope you’re right. I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen,” she says, defeated. “Why are you awake, anyhow?” she asks.
“Hell if I know. I’m dog-tired, but can’t seem to sleep. Too many things on my mind, I guess.”
“You’re worried too, aren’t you?” she asks.
Damn, she can see right through me. “A little,” I reply. “The timing is just off. That’s all that has me worried. There’s too much going on here for me to be leaving, but I can’t let my brother down either. I’m just torn by the things I care about the most.”
“I’m sorry, babe. I guess my whining about going doesn’t help you much, huh?”
“That’s one of the reasons I want you to stay here. You’re safe here and the less I need to worry about, the easier this mission will be.” Hopefully she’ll understand that as much as I would love to have her go, my head will be in a better place without her there.
“I understand, really I do,” she replies and I believe her. She hesitates for a moment and then adds, “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure babe, anything.”
“You said earlier that everything worked out with the Satans, but you never mentioned Brianne. Is she dead?”
Oh, fuck. I didn’t think that my avoidance of the subject would lead her to think the worst, but now that she has brought it up, what else could she think? “No, she is not dead,” I reply, but I do not elaborate.
“Well, where is she?” she asks curiously.
I really don’t want her to know that until Brianne gets better. I really don’t want Emma to see her in the state that I left her, but knowing Emma the way that I do, I know she will not relent. I reply, “She is at the hospital.”
“Is she hurt? What did they do to her?”
“She’s not exactly hurt, but she is banged up a bit. It looks as if Skid may have slapped her around. But the bigger problem is that she’s now addicted to some heavy drugs.”
“I don’t understand. Brianne never took drugs,” Emma says defensively.
“I know, baby, it’s not like that. Skid pumped her with drugs to keep her quiet and subdued. They gave her so much that it didn’t take long for her to become hooked. We have her now; she is safe at the hospital getting the help she needs. Once she detoxes, I’ll make sure Hawk takes you to see her.”
“Why can’t I see her tomorrow?”
“I don’t want you seeing her in that condition. And besides, she’s probably started detoxing already. She won’t know you and she won’t be in control of her actions. I doubt the hospital will even let her have visitors in that state.”
“Oh, I didn’t think of that,” she says sadly.
“I promise she’s getting the best of care, babe. And I promise as soon as she is allowed visitors, you can visit her as much as you want.” I kiss the top of her head as she snuggles against me. “Now why don’t we try to get some sleep?”
“Ok,” she says as she snuggles closer. “Cade?” she whispers.
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, babe.”
The next morning, I wake to hear Emma getting sick in the bathroom, again. I hate that she has to endure the morning sickness that goes along with being pregnant. Thankfully, from what she tells me she only has a couple more weeks of this.
I get out of bed and walk over to the bathroom. She is rinsing her mouth when I step in.
“Good morning, babe,” I say as I walk over and kiss her on the cheek.
“Morning. But frankly, I don’t know what’s good about it,” she states.
So it’s going to be one of those mornings.
Then she adds, “What time do you all leave Friday?”
“Late afternoon.”
“Can I take you to Buffalo?” she asks.
“No, Hawk is taking us.”
“But Cade …”
“Babe, what’s wrong with you? This isn’t like you at all. First you’re upset that I’m going without you, then you’re upset that I don’t want you at the airport. What’s the deal, Emma?”
“Hell, I don’t know. You’re right, this isn’t like me. Maybe your child is taking over my body. Maybe I’m giving birth to an alien that has complete control over my brain,” she says teasingly.
“My child isn’t an alien, woman! Actually, let me correct that—my son isn’t an alien,” I tease back. I know that she is miserable and that she is just trying to make light of all the hormonal changes that are happening to her, but her constant whining is driving me batshit crazy.
I walk over to her and extend my arms. She falls into them freely as I wrap my arms around her. “I’m so sorry, babe. I would like to say I know what you’re going through, but I don’t. And I’m sure if I did say that, it would only piss you off. So, I won’t. But please know that it doesn’t make me happy that you’re so miserable. And if I could take that part away from you, I would. But I want you to try to remember that all of this will be worth it when our son is born.”
“You are so sure it is going to be a boy, aren’t you?” she asks.
“I am. It is a feeling in my gut that I can’t explain,” I reply smugly.
She just smiles and shakes her head. She isn’t buying it. “Aren’t you gonna be surprised when I give birth to a girl?”
“Nope, I won’t be, ‘cause we ain’t having no girl!”
She rolls her eyes and says, “Whatever.” She then adds, “What can I do to help you get ready to go?”
“Nothing, really. I’m not expecting us to be there very long, so I am just going to throw some things in that duffle over there and I’ll be all set.”
“Ok. Well, let me know if you need anything.”
“I will, babe.”
Chapter 2
Rebel
Everyone else has gone to bed, but Ari and I remain in the kitchen. I look over at her and I can see that she is about to cry. What’s that all about? I hold out my arms, inviting her into my embrace, which she curls into gladly. “Come sit with me for a bit.” Putting my arm around her, I walk us over to the couch.
“Are you gonna be ok?” she asks as she snuggles up against me, resting her head on my chest.
“Of course I am. We’re gonna find them, babe. Ice won’t let me down,” I reply.
“You’re putting a lot of responsibility on my brother.”
“You and I both know what he’s capable of. If anyone can get Mam and Da out, it’s Ice.”
Ari lifts her head from my chest and looks at me worriedly and says, “But what if he can’t? There aren’t any guarantees, Rebel. And what if you both get hurt?”
I can tell by the tone in her voice and the look on her face that she is really worried. Hell, I’m worried too. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in Ireland, but I know the violence didn’t stop. I kno
w we’re walking into a shitstorm. I know it won’t be easy. But I also know that if I sit back and do nothing, if I rely on my brothers to fix this, I’ll never be able to forgive myself. Although there were times that I felt my parents had abandoned me by sending me to the US, I know they probably saved my life. It’s my turn to give back. I need to find them. I owe them that much.
“Babe, everything is going to be ok. I know there are no guarantees in anything—from my going to Ireland and coming home alive to walking across the street and making it to the other side alive. There is risk in everything we do. The question is, do we die by not taking any risks at all or do we live and take a chance? I, for one, want to live!” I kiss the top of her head as she snuggles closer to me. “Besides, you need to get back to school and graduate,” I add.
“I know. I just don’t want to leave you right now. Maybe I can go with you. You can show me where you grew up.”
“Ari, as much as I would love to take you to Ireland and show you where I grew up, now is not the time. Go back to school, get your degree, and we can move forward with our life together after all this shit is settled.”
“But …” she starts, but I quickly jump in.
“Before you go any further, I’m not the only one who wants you to stay here and get your degree. Even if I had said yes, Ice would never let you go with us,” I remind her. “I don’t even think he is allowing Emma to go, and you know he’ll feel the same about you.”
“Oh, I didn’t think about that,” she says. I can hear the disappointment in her voice. She’s quiet for several minutes and I relish in the quiet and the feeling of having her in my arms. I don’t know what lies ahead for me, so I make it a point to enjoy this moment for as long as I can.
I look down at her and take her chin in my grasp, forcing her to look up at me. The vulnerability in her eyes has me mesmerized and I bring my lips to hers. I kiss her slowly at first, but then, not being able to control myself, my mouth begins to ravish hers. Her moans are muffled by my continuous assault and I growl as I continue to kiss her. She shifts her body and her own hand drifts up over my arms, encircling my neck. We continue kissing for several minutes and I eventually realize that I have to stop or I will take her right here in her brother’s living room, which would be nothing short of a death wish.
