by Ann Roberts
Nadine stuck a hand on her hip and pointed at Mazie. “Girlfriend, I mow over the competition in all of my jobs, and in every way imaginable.”
Mazie stared at her, mystified. “What other jobs do you have?”
“You’re looking at the best private dick in all of Linn County,” Addy said.
“No, no,” Nadine corrected. “We don’t ever use the word dick to describe me, not since the surgery.”
Addy held up a hand. “I stand corrected.”
Mazie immediately thought of her cloak-and-dagger antics on the bus with Bianca. She’d not yet watched the movie they’d made of Pratul. If it turned out horribly, perhaps Nadine could help them.
Nadine looked around. “Where’s Jackie?” When Addy looked uncomfortable and rubbed the side of her neck, Nadine’s aura of happiness melted away. “I see.” She sighed and blew her bangs off her face. “Well, I’m starving. Where should we go?”
“How about our usual? The pizza place around the corner?” Addy suggested.
“Sure,” Nadine said unenthusiastically.
As they exited the rink, Nadine looked over her shoulder, and Mazie guessed she was still looking for Jackie.
“Hey Nadine, have you had any luck with your investigation?”
“What investigation?” Mazie asked.
“Nadine is hunting for dirt on Pratul. If we can get something on him, then he’ll leave me alone. Maybe all I’ll get is a letter in my file for going off my route. But if he keeps picking on me, I’m sure he’ll get me fired.”
Mazie imagined Addy was thinking about her daydreams. If Pratul knew she sometimes took a mental vacation while operating the bus, he could move for her dismissal.
“I’ve not found anything yet, Addy, but I’ll keep looking.”
Addy looked glum, and Mazie squeezed her hand. “It’ll be okay.”
She nodded and smiled.
As they walked to the restaurant, Nadine asked Mazie several questions related to the Bijou’s financial situation and Almondine’s actions. She finally said, “Did she agree to host an event?”
“Yes, sort of,” Mazie replied.
Both Addy and Nadine looked at her quizzically and she explained Almondine’s connection—and possible relationship—with Tarina Hudson, the actress.
“If you could get a premiere at the Bijou, it will put you on the map,” Nadine said. “Do whatever you need to do to make it happen. Even if it’s underhanded and deceitful. Almondine makes decisions slower than a slug. If I hadn’t pushed her to purchase a state-of-the-art sound system two years ago, what few customers she’d still have would feel like they were watching a movie from the inside of a tin can.”
They all laughed and Nadine opened the front door of Frank’s Pizza. Again, she looked behind them as if she were waiting for someone.
“I’ll go place the order and get drinks,” Addy volunteered.
“No, it’s my turn,” Nadine said. She pointed to a bench. “Sit. And we have matters to discuss.” Her tone was cryptic and piqued Mazie’s curiosity.
Addy did as she was told, and Mazie said, “I’m going to hit the restroom. Be right back.”
Mazie caught up to Nadine who was in line to order. “I need to talk with you—without Addy.”
“What is it?”
“You know about Addy’s suspension, right?”
“Yes, I’m working on it.”
Mazie sighed. “That’s great. Do you know the bus rider Addy was helping, Bianca?” Nadine nodded. “She and I did our own detective work today and made a video of Pratul hitting on her.”
“You did? Where is it?”
“I have it. I just haven’t had a chance to review it.”
“Does it have video and audio?”
“Hopefully, if everything recorded correctly.”
“Yes, it can be tricky. I can help you with that, and I’m dying to see what you captured.” Nadine paused. “We could meet after pizza, unless you and Addy have other plans.”
Her voice dripped with innuendo and Mazie blushed. “Well, actually I need to be back by eleven to help close the theater.”
“Okay, I’ll meet you there at eleven thirty.”
“And I don’t want Addy to know,” Mazie added. “Not yet. I don’t want her to get her hopes up.”
Nadine squeezed her arm. “I understand.” She looked over her shoulder. “Oh, look who finally got here.”
Jackie slid in next to Addy and chatted with her while Nadine fumed. Mazie said, “I’m sensing some tension between you and Jackie. Is something wrong? Is there something I can do?”
Nadine’s expression quickly shifted and she batted her eyelashes at Mazie. “It’s nice of you to offer, but the problem is between me and Jackie.” She lowered her gaze to the floor, and Mazie thought she mumbled, “I suppose it’s really just my problem.”
They returned to their table with a little plastic number and beers for the four of them. Jackie jumped up to give Nadine a hug, but Nadine quickly took the chair opposite Addy. Jackie leaned down and whispered something to Nadine, who remained as stiff and unresponsive as a mannequin.
The pizza arrived after an awkward fifteen minutes. Addy tried diligently to keep the conversation going, first praising Nadine for a terrific bout at the rink, and then talking about movies they had all seen. Mazie continually answered her questions so they didn’t hang in the air, and Addy seemed oblivious to the situation, or she was so caught up in her favorite topic that she didn’t care.
“Seriously, the best sex scene was in When Night is Falling,” Addy said.
Mazie wiped her fingers on a napkin. “I’ll agree that was one of the best, but my personal favorite is still Tipping the Velvet.”
Addy nodded. “That was near the top of my list.” Addy reached for another slice and asked, “What about least plausible plot?”
“Oh, so many there. I hate any movie where there’s a professed lesbian character who goes back to her husband,” Mazie said.
Her response got a chuckle from Jackie, who said, “You mean you don’t like women who can’t make up their mind?”
“I just don’t think those women are lesbians. They’re wannabes.” She noticed the table had gone silent, and she worried she’d stepped in a topic landmine. “Look, I’m fine with bisexuality, but just call it, you know? Be who you are and not a poser.”
“Interesting. I’ve known a few posers.” Jackie shot a glare toward Nadine.
Mazie closed her mouth. She’d walked into a trap, and now she wanted to back out slowly, which would best be accomplished by saying nothing.
“A woman has every right to change her mind. That’s what bisexuality is all about,” Nadine said.
“That’s not the same as straight women who experiment,” Addy said.
“True,” Nadine conceded, “but sometimes that experimentation leads a woman to shift her thinking about her own label. And the choices nowadays!” Nadine’s face grew animated and she threw up her hands. “I love that we’re breaking out of the old molds.”
“Yeah,” Addy agreed. “It’s pretty cool.”
Mazie bit her lip and slowly raised her hand. “Um, I’m showing my age here, but I don’t get a lot of it. It’s like a foreign language to me. What’s Cis? And what’s with the pronouns? Can I just be ‘she’ or am I required to pick another one? It’s like someone changed the secret handshake and didn’t tell me. Can’t I just like someone and not worry about a label?”
She glanced at Addy, who wore a goofy expression. “Yes,” was all she said.
Nadine leaned across the table and planted a surprising kiss on Mazie’s cheek. “Miss Mazie, if everyone thought like you there wouldn’t be a need for labels.”
Mazie knew her face was bright red. “Thank you, Nadine.”
“I don’t get any of it,” Jackie said, tossing her napkin on the table. “To me it’s just gamesmanship. Everybody should just be straight up.” Nadine laughed heartily and slapped the table. Jackie scowled. “
You find that amusing?”
“Coming from you, yes,” Nadine said. “You’re not straight up at all, at least not with yourself.”
Mazie was beginning to feel as though she was in a lesbian movie. She expected Jackie to say something like “explain yourself,” but instead, Jackie just stood. “I’m going home. Any of you bitches want a ride, the train is leaving now.”
The three women looked at each other, puzzled. “Jackie, chill,” Addy said. She held up her third slice of pie. “I’m still eating. Can’t we wait five more minutes?”
Still glaring at Nadine, Jackie said, “I’ll meet you at the car. Five more, Addy, but then I’m gone.”
After Jackie left Mazie turned to Addy and Nadine. “Um, explain?” Addy kept chewing, and motioned to Nadine, who sighed and fidgeted with her lovely gold necklace. “I like that,” Mazie said.
“Thank you, Ms. M.” Nadine waved a manicured hand at her. “I think that’s my new nickname for you.”
Mazie smiled. “I like it.” She touched Nadine’s hand. “What’s up with you and Jackie? You two seem like best friends one minute and enemies the next. Is that frenemies?”
Nadine blinked several times, and Mazie could tell she was trying not to cry. “We’re best friends and we both want more. But that would mean Jackie has to accept that I’m bisexual, in addition to being transgender. Jackie is biased against bisexuals. She thinks they should all just make up their mind. Her lack of acceptance is standing in our way. I’ve told her that as a bisexual, I might find I need more than just her. I’d never pick another woman over her,” she said quickly, “but I might, occasionally, need a man to satisfy me. She can’t see being with someone who is also with a man. We’re at a standoff. So she has quickies or one-night stands, and I pine for her. And yes, once in a while I’ll go to a straight bar and pick up a man.” She pointed and said, “But I never go to Lolly’s and pick up a woman. Never. I may be many things, but I’m not a hypocrite. Until she and I come to some conclusion about our relationship, I’m true to her.”
Mazie nodded. “So the two of you have slept together?”
“Of course. That’s how we know we’re so right for each other. We’re great friends, but the sex sealed the deal. No other woman could please me the way Jackie does.” Mazie shifted uncomfortably and Nadine asked, “What are you thinking, Ms. M?”
She gazed at Nadine tenderly. “There’s another way to look at this, but I don’t think you’ll like it, and you can probably guess what I’m going to say.”
Nadine looked away. “Yes, I know.”
“Well, I don’t,” Addy said, her mouth full. “Enlighten me.”
Nadine’s gaze went from Mazie to Addy. “I believe your delightful, prospective girlfriend believes that bisexuals have a greater challenge in relationships. We not only have to resist temptation from half of the proverbial fish in the sea, but from all the fish.” Her gaze returned to Mazie. “Did I summarize correctly?”
“Yes, far more eloquently than I would have.”
“That makes sense,” Addy said, wiping her lips with her napkin. “She’s not opposed to your bisexuality. She just wants you to be faithful.”
Nadine rolled her eyes. “Leave it to you, kid, to call me an asshole—without really calling me an asshole.”
Addy looked puzzled, and Nadine and Mazie laughed.
Mazie yawned. It was one thirty a.m. She and Nadine had spent two hours on Mazie’s laptop, attempting to connect the audio to the video of Mazie and Bianca’s surveillance of Pratul, but nothing worked.
“I don’t know what happened,” Mazie said. “I know she had it on, because I heard her through my earpiece.”
Nadine patted her cheeks to keep awake. “There’s not always an easy answer, Ms. M. I’ll take this home and fiddle with it, but I think you and Bianca are the ones who got stung in your sting operation.”
Chapter Nineteen
“So you like this woman. How much? Think about that for a minute,” Dr. Pfeiffer said to Addy before she turned and prepared for her croquet shot. With decent form and a smooth stroke from Dr. P., the blue ball sailed through the wicket and kissed Addy’s green ball, knocking it further away from the next wicket.
This was how their sessions normally went. Addy hated the idea of sitting in Dr. P’s home office on a couch while she extracted memories and fears from her conscious, subconscious, and any other cerebral crevice that might provide insight into her complicated psyche. So after their first session, which they both agreed was a dismal failure, Dr. P had looked for an alternate meeting place. They’d tried walking in the park (too distracting for Addy), kayaking on the river (too difficult for Addy, who couldn’t steer her kayak and talk at the same time), and finally croquet in Dr. P’s backyard, the winner. They played very slowly and with few rules, allowing Addy time to think about Dr. P’s questions between shots but without the baggage of remembering the nuances of the game. And Dr. P’s sprawling one-acre backyard guaranteed confidentiality.
“Well,” Addy said, “I like her so much that lately my daydreams have changed.”
Dr. P raised an eyebrow. “How so?”
“She’s in them.” Addy recounted the carnival dream that began with Bianca but ended with Mazie.
“Interesting,” Dr. P said, preparing for her next shot. She tapped the ball just hard enough to line it up with the next wicket. Addy marveled at Dr. P’s hand-eye coordination. Of course, Addy had never played croquet until she met Dr. Pfeiffer, and although still wasn’t very good, she knew she was improving. Perhaps someday they would follow all the rules.
Addy set up her next shot and Dr. P asked, “Have you had any other dreams about her?”
“One. She was an Amazonian warrior, and I was about to make love to her.” Addy tapped the ball with too much force and it sailed past her intended stopping point.
“And do you think the extinction of your daydreams and your increased involvement with Mazie are related?”
Addy shrugged. “Maybe. I think it’s possible, don’t you?”
“Oh, yes. We’ve previously connected your dreams to anxiety. You’re nervous about your health coverage from Meritain, so Princess Meritain appears. Pratul catches you violating rules at the sauna. I don’t even need my advanced degrees to see that one.”
“No,” Addy laughed.
“I hope they’re related. A strong romantic relationship can indeed lessen our fears. We have someone we completely trust to confide in, help share the load, and who listens to us. Does that describe your relationship with Mazie?”
Addy felt the butterflies in her stomach. “Yeah, we talk about a lot of things, especially movies.”
“How are you feeling about the suspension?” She pointed at the mallet Addy tapped against her foot. “I’m guessing you’re nervous.”
She stopped tapping and shrugged. “A little. I don’t think they’ll fire me because I broke the rules. I did it for a good reason. But I’ll probably get a letter in my file.”
“Do you think it’s okay to break rules you don’t like?”
“No, I think it’s okay to break rules that are wrong, or it’s okay to break rules that are wrong for certain people.”
“Explain.”
“It was wrong to make Bianca ride the bus with Pratul because of what he was doing to her. And since there wasn’t a way to make him stop, all I could do was make it better for her.”
“Do you break other rules for other people, or is it just people you have a crush on?”
“I don’t have a crush on Bianca anymore, but I’ve bent some of the other rules to help passengers.”
Dr. P stroked her chin. “Well, at least you’re consistent.” She whacked her ball through the last wicket and it came to stop just inches from the colorful peg in the middle of the course. She pointed to the rattan table surrounded by four matching chairs. “Can I infer the color issue is still as strong as ever?”
Addy’s keys, which were on a blue keychain, sat next to Dr. P�
�s blue purse. The two coffee mugs they’d carried out from the house—both red—sat next to each other. All by itself sat her backpack, the only lime green object. Addy nodded and looked down.
“I think it’s time, Addy,” Dr. P said gently. “We’ve talked about hypnosis for over a year. If we’re ever going to tackle this, we have to explore the cause. I believe you don’t remember when this color fixation started. It’s obvious you’ve completely blocked it out. To help you move to a healthy mental state, we need to go back. Are you willing?”
“Yes,” Addy whispered.
“Good,” Dr. P replied. She tapped her ball against the center peg, essentially “winning” the game. She looked up and smiled. “I’m proud of you, Addy.”
Before Addy left Dr. P’s house, she made an appointment for hypnosis. For only the second time, they would meet in Dr. P’s office, which still intimidated Addy, with all of Dr. P’s degrees hanging behind her desk, the books with long scientific titles, and the seashell collection Dr. P kept on top of a bookcase. Unfortunately, none of the shells were grouped by color. Addy would need to make sure she sat with her back toward that bookcase, or she’d never be able to concentrate on anything.
Addy decided to walk up a few blocks and take the bus—her bus—to the Bijou. She missed her regulars, and since it was late morning, several of them should be on the bus or boarding soon.
As she approached the stop near Gallagher Hall, she saw Kit sitting under the shelter, knitting. When she recognized Addy, her face lit up in a smile. “Addy!”
Addy offered a hug and said, “Hi, Kit. How are you?”
“I’m fine.” Her face hardened. “The question is, how are you?”
“I’m okay. I’m just waiting for my supervisor to conclude the mandatory investigation.”
“Well, they better find the right conclusions, or I’ll be having a word with the Wilshire Hills Transportation Department. Yes, I certainly will.” She returned to her knitting with renewed vigor, and the needles clickety-clicked against each other. “I can’t believe they would suspend the best driver they have. Absolutely ridiculous. When I worked at Cammon, some of the professors attempted similar shenanigans with women. It was a different time. When I was in charge, it didn’t happen. Imagine that, huh?”
