Now I have to figure out a way to take it a lot further than dinner.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Irwin
The American dream wasn’t supposed to be so damn complicated. I was raised to believe that the pieces would fall into place if you worked hard and put food on the table. My family wasn’t well off, but we weren’t poor. My father worked in an office and my mother stayed at home to take care of me. I was homeschooled until I was in high school and the curriculum got too complex for my mother to teach. Going from only seeing my parents and a few neighborhood kids every day to being thrust into the middle of the high school hierarchy was a major adjustment. I didn’t exactly have any peers. I tried to make friends, but I didn’t have enough life experience to fit in with any of the cliques. I became sort of an outcast, a perpetual loner that watched everyone else live their lives as a silent observer.
College was another brutal example of my social awkwardness. I didn’t have the stigma of high school hanging over my head, and I tried to be more outgoing, but it just wasn’t my nature. I dated a couple of girls, but when they wanted to take the relationship to the next level, I froze. I had no idea what to do. As the years went by, I pulled into my shell and just focused on the next chapter of my life. After all, I was taught to believe things would work out in the end. Finding work without a great resume was a challenge, but I eventually found a company called Viking Developments that was willing to hire me. It was the kind of place I dreamed about where hard work and dedication was rewarded. It only made sense to give them one hundred percent, and when that wasn’t enough, I just pushed my limits.
It was a lonely life. I went to work, came home, fed my cat, and slept until it was time to do it all over again. I tried dating, but it was even worse than college. The few women I was honest with about my lack of experience were turned off immediately. I finally gave in to my loneliness and conjured enough bravery to drive through the seedier parts of Chicago, searching for a prostitute. Helena was gentle, kind, and took my virginity without being horrified to find out I had never been with a woman before. I became a regular customer and while I knew she had other clients, I always felt like I was the only one when we were together. It was more than sex. We ate dinner together, watched movies, cuddled on the couch, and did everything a normal couple would do—as long as I was paying her hourly rate.
I knew it wouldn’t last, and that day finally came when Helena decided to leave Chicago and try to live a normal life. I pleaded with her to stay. I even asked her to marry me. Perhaps telling me no was her way of saving me from myself. After she was gone, the loneliness returned. It was months before I finally gave in and started looking for someone new to fill the void. None of the others compared to Helena. I found myself looking for something permanent, which was exactly what I thought I found one lonely night when I stumbled across a website for mail order brides. I couldn’t believe it was real. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Anastasia’s photograph. She was so beautiful and her eyes reflected the same sorrow I felt in my soul. I just didn’t know how damaged she actually was.
I married her as soon as she arrived from Russia, and on our wedding night, I was the experienced one, taking her virginity while she tried to smile through the pain. Anastasia was different than the whores I paid for sex. She needed me. She wanted me. The problem was, she needed too much. I wasn’t strong enough to be the rock she needed, so I tried to chisel away her rough edges and make her the foundation of our relationship. She was a lot better at adapting than I was. Once the power dynamic shifted, there was no way to reverse it. She made demands that were unrealistic and resulted in explosive fights. If I didn’t cater to her demands, she punished me by withholding sex and affection.
I found myself working more than I ever had before because I dreaded going home. That just made things worse and our marriage became toxic. When I came home late, Anastasia accused me of cheating on her. Our bedroom became as cold as the Chicago wind in December. I had no idea how to fix things. I loved Anastasia, but I knew there was a iceberg between us big enough to sink the Titanic. My job was the only thing keeping me sane. The harder I worked, the more I was rewarded, and that dynamic was one I could thrive in. I shouldn’t have been surprised when Anastasia served me with divorce papers. The marriage was over long before we made it official.
“Irwin, are you really going to eat junk food for dinner again?” Gina peeked into my office and gave me a disapproving shake of her head.
“Lots of work to do…” I didn’t even look up from my screen.
“Come on, none of us have that much work.” Gina walked into my office and sat down across from me.
“Wait until you’re a Senior Purchasing Agent, then you’ll be singing a different tune.” I finally looked away from my screen and sighed. “Your new account is a real doozy, trust me.”
“Yeah, it must be if you can’t get that old man to sell his store.” Gina chuckled and leaned back in her chair.
“We need it and it’s in his best interest to sell. He can barely afford to keep inventory on the shelves, and it’s not like he has any family to take over the store once he’s gone. We’re offering him a very good price.” I smiled and shrugged. “But maybe you can work your magic on him like you did on the guy who owned Hal’s Pub.”
“I might need a different approach.” Gina stifled a smile that tried to form on the corner of her lips. “I’ll give it my best shot, though.”
“You’ll have more time to devote to it, and that’s exactly what this account needs. I took it because I thought it would be an easy closure, but I’m too spread out to give it enough attention.” I reached for my bag of chips, but Gina grabbed it before I could.
“Not tonight, Irwin. I’m taking one of your accounts, right? That means you should have some free time. Let’s get some real food.” Gina tossed the bag of chips in the garbage can.
“Just let me kill myself with junk food in peace.” I waved her off and reached towards the garbage can.
“Nope.” Gina extended her foot and pushed the garbage can out of my reach. “You’re having dinner with me.”
She really is determined.
“Okay, fine.” I grumbled and shut down my computer. “Let’s go.”
I never socialized with people at the office unless it was a mandatory event like the annual Christmas party. Even then, I mostly kept to myself after I said hello to the right people. Gina was trying to pull me out of my comfort zone and I didn’t like it. She was a bit of an anomaly. I mean, I had eyes—I saw how beautiful she was. She was way too hot for someone like to me to even dream of dating. It was a friendly dinner and nothing more. I couldn’t even consider that it was more than that, no matter how hard my eyes fought to look down at her ass when we walked towards the elevator. Every man in the office noticed her the second she was hired, and if she let one of them put a ring on her finger, it certainly wasn’t going to be me.
“Why do you want to have dinner with me so badly?” I looked over at her when the elevator doors closed.
“Maybe I just need some advice from the office Yoda when he’s not distracted by his computer screen.” She winked at me and hit the button to take us to the bottom floor.
That makes sense, I guess.
Gina and I went to a quiet restaurant that was within walking distance of the office. She asked for a corner booth and immediately ordered a glass of wine when we sat down. I rarely drank, but I found myself craving something to take the edge off, so I asked for a beer. We talked about accounts, people at the office, and I tried to do it without getting lost in her emerald green eyes. Fuck, they were intoxicating. The way she laughed—it was like her whole body felt the excitement. I found myself asking for a second beer when my first one was done, and our food hadn’t even arrived yet. The buzz loosened me up a little bit, and my eyes started to soak in her beauty. God damn, she was absolutely perfect. It was easy to just look at Gina as a co-worker when we were at the office, but it was impossi
ble to ignore how stunning she was when my undivided attention belonged to her.
“Okay, I’m tired of talking about work.” Gina reached for her glass of wine. “Tell me something about yourself.”
“Me?” I blinked in surprise. “I’m not that interesting. I just work hard, feed my cat, and try to get a few hours of sleep every day.”
“While eating nothing but junk food?” She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. “Please tell me that your cat eats better than you do.”
“Yes, Jabba eats very well.” I nodded and picked up my beer.
“Wait, you named your cat Jabba—like, after Jabba the Hutt?” She started to laugh, which made her eyes light up.
“Trust me, you’d see the resemblance if you met him.” I smiled and chuckled.
“Does he have a slave cat that he keeps on a leash?” She batted her eyelashes and bit down on her lip.
“No.” I shook my head and laughed. “Maybe when he was a stray, but he’s a bit too old for the ladies these days.”
Like me, even if I’m still a few candles short of forty.
Our food arrived and the conversation shifted back and forth between us. I opened up a little bit about my life, but I avoided mentioning my seedier exploits and failed marriage. Gina told me about her life in Bakersfield, what it was like to grow up in a small town, and how she ended up in Chicago. She had definitely lived a life that was more interesting than mine.
It was so easy to talk to Gina. It was like talking to a friend, even though I really didn’t know her. Deep conversations were never my thing, but it was like someone else was moving my lips. I didn’t feel socially awkward at all. When I took my last bite of dinner, a sadness swept through me because I realized the night was almost over.
“How about dessert? You’re a master at picking out junk food. Find me something nice.” Gina picked up the menu and handed it to me.
Or maybe the night isn’t over yet!
There was nothing on the menu that a normal person should eat alone, so we decided to share something called the Chocolate Fudge Earthquake. It lived up to the name. When it hit the table, I felt the wood literally vibrate from the impact. It was already a daunting task for two people, but the waitress upped the ante by piling what appeared to be a whole carton of vanilla ice cream on top of the steaming chocolate. The vanilla and chocolate quickly started to meld together into something gooey that looked like it would give me diabetes if I took more than one bite. I picked up my fork and studied it for a minute before digging in.
“Wow, that’s freaking amazing.” Gina took a big bite, and melted vanilla ice cream ran down the side of her face. “So good!”
“Yes, it’s a good thing they don’t sell this in the vending machine at work.” I smirked and took my second bite.
“I’d eat this for every meal.” Gina took another bite and a little more vanilla drizzled on her lip.
“Uh, you’ve got something—here.” I motioned to my mouth.
“I don’t even care, I just want to dig in with both hands.” She giggled and extended her tongue to slurp up the drizzled ice cream.
“Yeah, you still didn’t get it.” I picked up my napkin and leaned over.
Our eyes met as I wiped away the remnants of dessert from her chin. There was something in her eyes that screamed straight into my soul. I saw… hunger—and it wasn’t for the dessert we were sharing. I pulled back and dropped the napkin on the table, but I couldn’t look away from her. My heart started beating in my chest and I felt my throat tightening up. Gina reached across the table and put her hand on mine, letting her fingers graze across the surface of my skin. Her touch sent a sizzle through my whole body and made my head spin. I had never felt anything like it before in my life.
I would normally think I was misreading something, but this is too blatant to be misread.
“Do you—um.” I swallowed hard and looked down at her hand. “Do you have a boyfriend?”
“I’m in what you would call—an open relationship?” She tilted her head slightly. “Is that a problem?”
Yes—no? Why doesn’t that make me want to run in the opposite direction as fast as possible?
“I—I don’t know.” I felt myself stammering over my words. “He won’t be upset?”
“Why would he be upset? We’re just having dinner.” A devious smile spread across her lips.
“What if… what if we do more than have dinner?” I swallowed hard as my head continued to spin.
“Do you want to?” She bit down on her lip again.
So bad it’s almost criminal.
“Maybe…” I struggled to admit it, even though the desire was digging into my soul.
“Well, when you’re sure, let me know. Maybe on our next date?” Gina pulled her hand away and shrugged.
Fuck, did I just blow my chance?
Chapter Twenty-Three
Gina
“Irwin?” Erik blinked in surprise when I told him who the fourth man in our ensemble was supposed to be. “No fucking way.”
“Yeah, he’s definitely the one.” I nodded and smiled. “I was as floored as you when Angelina told me, but after having dinner with him, there’s something between us.”
“He was married, though.” Olsen walked over and sat down across from me. “What if he was still married? Would you just become a homewrecker?”
“No.” I shook my head quickly. “I wouldn’t have even considered approaching him.”
“We trust you to do what you think is best. I’ve never heard anyone say anything bad about Irwin, but if Angelina doesn’t know much about him, that’s kind of a scary thought.” Erik shrugged and shook his head.
“Yeah, that woman seems to know everything.” Olsen exhaled sharply.
I held back with Irwin because there was still some uncertainty. I saw desire in his eyes and I certainly felt a connection, but he was still a mystery. He didn’t have the courage to make a move. That definitely set him apart from Erik, Olsen and Joaquin. They would run through a brick wall to get what they wanted. If he was still hesitant, I didn’t want to push things. I had taken it as far as I could without leaping across the table when we had dinner. The next move was on him. I was as honest as I could be with him without disclosing everything. An open relationship was the best way to describe what I had with the others, even if the openness didn’t extend past Irwin. If he could get past that and still chase his desires, we might be on our way to making it work.
Irwin ignored me at the office the next day when I looked his way, but I caught him staring a few times when he thought I couldn’t see him. Something was definitely stirring. He normally didn’t look up from his computer when he was in the office. He even worked straight through a fire drill once and said he didn’t hear the alarm. As it was most nights, we were the last two people on our floor. I heard Irwin get up from his desk, and I looked around the edge of my door frame to see if he was heading towards the vending machine. I was pleasantly surprised, and a little nervous, when he started walking towards my office.
“I’m starving. How would you like to grab some dinner?” He leaned against my door and smiled.
“I guess a good meal changed your perspective on vending machine dinners?” I leaned back in my chair and chuckled.
“Something like that.” He nodded and motioned towards the elevators. “Can pull yourself away for a quick meal?”
“I’m about done here anyway.” I reached over and turned off my computer.
We left the office, and as we walked towards the restaurant we ate at the previous night, Irwin reached over and took my hand. He didn’t ask or convey any real emotion, he just did it like it was the most natural thing in the world. That was exactly what it felt like—natural. We held hands for the entire walk and he requested the same booth we had the night before. The conversation was a lot more relaxed and he didn’t seem to be nervous. I was impressed by how easily he opened up, telling me things about his life that he avoided the night before. Af
ter a couple of beers, he seemed to get a little solemn, and I worried that he was starting to have doubts again. It seemed like things were going really good up until that point, and I felt my heart sinking into my stomach when I saw his whole demeanor change.
“I’m not a very good man.” He sighed and reached for his beer.
“What? Where did that come from?” I blinked in surprise.
“I’ve done things that would probably make your skin crawl.” He guzzled until his mouth was full and swallowed.
Uh oh—I hope he’s not about to tell me he really is a serial killer.
“You can talk to me about it.” I reached out and put my hand on his in a reassuring manner. “You’ll get no judgment from me.”
It was like the floodgates opened. Irwin told me about not fitting in, his loneliness, finding comfort with prostitutes, and then he told me about his ex-wife. I had to pick up my jaw when he talked about his insecurities and how Anastasia used them as a weapon in their marriage. I finally saw through the veil Irwin put up to hide from the world. He was a broken man. Perhaps he never truly found himself, but he stopped looking after his divorce. He found solace in his work and used it as an emotional outlet. It was all he had left. It was probably what kept him from losing the last bit of humanity he had bottled up inside his shattered soul.
“So, there you have it. That’s the kind of man that is sitting here with you again after you told me you’re already in a relationship—even if it is an open one.” He sighed and reached for his beer again. “Do the smart thing and run away now. It’ll be easier for both of us.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” I squeezed his hand and shook my head. “I’m going to tell you something now, something that will probably make you want to run.”
Club Endless Fantasy: Reverse Harem Romance (Haremworld Book 8) Page 14
