“Shit, sorry. Are you okay?” he said, putting his hand over mine on my head. I giggled and lay back on the ground pouting.
“Ouch.”
“Are you alright?”
I shook my head. “No, make me feel better,” I said. He laughed and leaned in, kissing me. For what it was worth, my head didn’t even hurt but it worked. Our current situation wouldn’t have been my first choice but it was nice.
We were on a carpet and the room was warm, not to mention the fireplace right next to us that made me feel like I was a prairie woman being ravaged by her husband who had just gotten home from a day’s work on the fields. His body was way too nice for the job he had.
He was hard and athletic, his arms and legs covered in hair a shade or two lighter than the hair on his head. He maintained the hair on his torso but didn’t get rid of all of it, which I preferred. He was naked and it took a couple of seconds to get me there too. He plucked my bra off and I shimmied out of my underwear.
He didn’t hesitate. He moved between my thighs and got to work with his mouth and tongue. I sprawled on the ground and closed my eyes. He was good at that and seemed to enjoy it. I enjoyed letting him. Paul would hold it over me when I had a hard time coming when we had sex.
He would only eat me out on his terms, usually after his disgusting movies got him hard and he needed somewhere to release. It was gross at times like that, not pleasurable. I hated to admit it but I owed it to Toby for giving me back this experience.
His tongue manipulated my clit and his fingers played at my entrance. I scooted forward so he’d get the idea and use them. As if he had heard me, he slid two of his fingers smoothly into me. That stretch, his touch was delicious. Sex wasn’t particularly hard to come by but good sex was. My moans were guttural. It was so good, every single time. I didn’t know when I wouldn’t absolutely lose myself whenever he did this to me. When did the magic stop? When did I finally get enough of him?
I came, arching my back off the floor. He didn’t stop until I pushed him away. I lay on the ground motionless, trying to gather myself. He planted soft kisses on the insides of my thighs, my stomach, my chest, until he was at my face. We kissed as he positioned himself on top of me. I knew what was coming next, but I didn’t want to stop this part yet.
I pushed him so that he would get off of me.
“What’s up?”
“My turn,” I said to him.
Kneeling between his spread legs while he lay on his back in front of me, I felt strangely powerful. He was so beautiful, and I had the power to reduce him to nothing. It was so easy when this was all we were doing. I wished that every interaction went like this. I lowered myself between his legs and took his cock in my hand. Easing the tip into my mouth, I started sucking.
He shuddered and sighed as I worked on him. I didn’t want him to come, but I wanted him to get so close that it physically hurt, and then pull him back again. I wanted him to feel just one ounce of what he did to me. And after that, I would ride him like my life depended on it.
Paul made me hate doing this for him. He would say the most disgusting things and make the experience as unpleasant for me as he could, all while calling me boring and vanilla because I couldn’t keep up with him. He was a pervert, I was glad I couldn’t keep up with him.
“Babe? Baby, I’m not going to last if you keep doing that,” Toby whispered. I took that as my cue to straddle him. I had to go slow easing his dick into me because he had a good amount of size. As soon as I was accustomed though, there was no stopping me. I ground my hips against him, modulating my movements based on his reactions.
Eventually, he got sick of me and wrestled me to the ground, pounding into me until both of us came. He pulled out again which I was grateful for since I hadn’t told him that he had to. I had had to go on birth control with Paul since he didn’t like condoms or care if he got me pregnant. A baby with him would have ruined my life. Toby got up and came back with kitchen towel to clean up his cum.
I felt like I had run a marathon by the time we were done. On the ground, sweaty and panting, he wrapped his arms around me. I wasn’t too tired to move, but I didn’t do it. I liked being like this, even though I knew it was a bad idea. If it was a bad idea though, why did it feel so good? Why had any of this even happened?
We couldn’t stay away from each other and the reason had to be bigger than the two of us being too horny to function, even though I did get that way around him.
I was letting my thoughts get away from me, but I didn’t do anything to stop them. What were the chances that he had the same thought that I had coming out here before we were scheduled to be here? I wasn’t the kind to talk about fate or destiny, but the situation between us felt like way more than just a coincidence.
We had had the exact same idea.
I hadn’t taken it well in the beginning, but was finally happy that this had happened. The situation was still less than ideal, but we weren’t at each other’s necks anymore. I wished that it had been like this from the start. No weird distance and awkwardness because we didn’t know what we were to each other. We had literally been given a private bubble to do with each other whatever we wanted, and we had already wasted so much time. That of course meant that we had to make up for it.
I felt him lazily kiss my temple and adjust himself next to me. The night we had sex when Missy got her proposal, I didn’t stay the night. We went several rounds and he told me I didn’t have to leave if I didn’t want to, but I did want to. I felt like I was done. I had gotten everything I wanted from him and he paid for my ride home so it felt like a success.
That should have been the last of it but he stayed with me. I started longing for him and feeling lonely after the intense connection we had shared. I didn’t know I’d end up falling this deep but was it really that much of a mystery?
That was it, it was too late. I was done. I couldn’t fight it anymore. It must’ve happened a lot sooner but I had just lied to myself. I had fallen for him. There was nothing I could do to stop it. I knew the risks and part of me was already regretting it, but I was done.
How could I have resisted? He was perfect. How many young, hot, accomplished, smart, funny billionaires were there who also happened to be interested in me? Stuff like this didn’t just happen. He was everything I wanted in a man, except the tiny little fact that he didn’t do relationships.
I couldn’t say anything to him. He would shoot it down immediately because it wouldn’t be what he wanted. I wished that I was the kind of person who could divorce sex from emotion but I wasn’t. I was playing with fire by letting him get this close to me but fuck it. I didn’t know when I would be able to feel like this again, so I was going to enjoy it. We fell asleep cuddled up next to the fireplace.
I woke up first the next morning. I felt stiff and a little sore but that was for two very different reasons. The first one was riding Toby like a rodeo bull, and the second one was falling asleep on the floor. After stretching, I walked over to the sliding doors to look out at the situation outside. I had to squint my eyes because the sun was shining and it was reflecting brightly off of the snow.
Opening the door, I tiptoed out into the cold. The snow had stopped. The sun was shining and I could see little melting droplets off of the snow-covered branches of the trees. It was over. The blizzard was over. I scuttled back inside because the air was still cold, but the snowfall had stopped and the weather was completely clear.
Conflicting feelings fought for dominance in my mind. We were finally getting out of here. I was going to Vail to check-in to the beautiful luxury resort with my own personal hot tub in my suite. The promise of a luxury vacation was the whole reason why I was excited to come to Colorado in the first place. On the other hand, we wouldn’t have any reason to stay here anymore. Sooner or later, most likely today, we were going to be out of here.
Just twenty-four hours ago, that had been everything that I wanted. I had been losing my mind wondering how I was going to su
rvive being here stranded with Toby for so long. Now, I wanted more time. Things with us had taken a complete turn. I didn’t want to call it progress since we weren’t exactly on a mission towards anything. Instead, I felt like I was finally at peace with my feelings about him. While I had no plans to necessarily tell him, I had been looking forward to more nights like the one we had just had.
What was that feeling where you had to feel bad about missing things that hadn’t had a chance to happen yet? This cabin had ended up becoming a sanctuary for us, well, for me to explore my feelings for Toby. I wasn’t done yet, but the adventure was already over.
What happened now? Missy didn’t know about us and I didn’t know what Toby might have told Easton, but because it was a professional setting we were heading to, canoodling was out of the question. Who said Toby would even be interested in carrying on whatever this had been when we returned to real life?
Wasn’t that what I told him last time? One night was all I wanted and then it was over. Maybe this time I was getting it. A couple of days stuck in the snow was all I was getting and then it was back to regularly scheduled programming. How foolish to think anything more was in store for us.
I felt my mind filling was dark thoughts. I never should have gotten my hopes up because it was no use. Toby was perfect in every way except the way I wanted him to be. That wasn’t my fault and it wasn’t his fault either, but because of that, this would never work. It was over. Now, once again, it was my job to pick up the pieces. Alone.
15
Toby
I felt her moving, then she was gone. I opened my eyes expecting to see her. I thought I’d see her lush, beautiful naked body standing there, silhouetted in the light coming in from the windows. The room was empty. I rubbed my eyes and got up. Where the hell was she?
I was slow getting up after sleeping on the floor. Bad idea. Couldn’t we have at least moved it to the couch or something? What the hell. I shouldn’t have been complaining so much since the night had been great, but I could have done without the stiffness. I got my clothes on and looked for her, checking the bathroom. Not there either. Huh. I looked around for my phone, wondering where I left it. Stretching, I looked out the window.
It wasn’t snowing anymore.
I went up to the window and looked outside. The sun was out, and nothing was coming down. It almost looked pleasant. That could only mean one thing. We were in the clear, we were going to be leaving soon.
That should have made me feel better than it did. I expected to be thrilled, ecstatic that we were finally on our way out, but I wasn’t. I wanted this so bad and now that it was happening, I was kind of lukewarm about finally getting the trip back on track.
This little detour had been more fun than I expected.
I checked my phone for messages.
Snowplows dispatched.
Expect rescue at noon.
That was only about two hours from now. I flashed back to the conversation I had yelling about wanting the snowplows to come up the mountain faster. Hell, I was willing to pay whatever it took, get a helicopter, whatever they had just so I wouldn’t be up here anymore. It was strange how much things could change in just one day.
It was over. Our weird little snowed in vacation was over. This news coming to me yesterday would have been the best thing that I had ever heard in my life.
Now, I wasn't so sure. To be honest, things had just started getting comfortable. It was probably good that this was over since we were logistically going to run out of supplies, but it wasn't awkward anymore. It wasn't uncomfortable and now that I wanted to be here, we were going home.
Home would have been better than our actual destination though since we were still here for work and that work had not yet begun. What if it got awkward again? We wouldn't be alone anymore so we would have to act like what had happened between us hadn’t taken place.
I briefly considered the alternative; letting the cat out of the bag. Was there a cat though? I felt kind of weird about that. I didn't think it needed to be a secret, but what had she told Missy and Easton about us? We weren’t a thing. We had slept together over a period of time and that was all there was to report. I felt like we weren’t in the same place as we had been at the start of this little debacle, but where was that?
Why was this bothering me so much? So what if she didn't want anything together, it wasn't like I was offering.
What would happen if I did though? I never thought of the answer because I never thought of doing it in the first place. This was completely outside of what I usually did with women, but in a strange turn of events, I really liked Maggie.
Strange, right, as if she hadn't been a mainstay in my mind since the night we spent together in New York.
I wasn't sure what to do with this new information.
I went into the shower. Let's just say that something happened. It wouldn't be strange. Maggie was a great woman. She was funny in that sharp, sarcastic way that probably scared some people, but not me. She was resourceful and with very limited ingredients, she cooked pretty well too. Add to that the fact that she was sexy and incredible in bed and where could we go wrong?
I stood under the water and ran my hands through my hair. I knew what she was like in bed, and we had spent some time together, but I didn't know the finer details of her life. I didn't know where she lived or how much she made working for Missy. I could give her whatever she wanted of course. I wanted to, that was the single perk of having as much money as I did, I got to use it to make other people happy.
Women tended to like that stuff, right? Dinners, vacations, gifts, I could upgrade her apartment if she wanted, I could pay off her tuition if she wanted to get another degree or had debt, whatever she wanted. We could be happy. She could quit her job working for Missy, no problem.
I worked a lot though. Women tended not to like that, even though it was directly proportional to how much money you made. She would be understanding though, wouldn't she? I'd make sure that whatever time I did get off, we would spend it together. That would work until it stopped working. Everything I could give her materially would stop mattering because she wouldn't be getting the attention she wanted. She’d start to resent me when I forgot birthdays and anniversaries and tried to make up for it with new jewelry.
Eventually, she’d tell me that she had found someone who could cater to her needs better than I could. It would be a guy who wasn't as rich, probably wouldn’t look like me either, but he would be there for her in ways that I couldn't be.
Just like that, I managed to shoot down what had seemed like a great idea. No matter how nice it seemed in theory, it would end up being horrible later. I couldn't let this happen. I should have known from the way I couldn't stop thinking about her that there was something different there, but I couldn't allow myself to fall completely. There was only one way that this could end.
Face it, man, she can do better.
Would it truly matter what I could give her in a relationship if neither of us would end up being happy? I would be selling her short. She would have to settle for a guy whose job was his first priority. I'd be stuck with a woman who was miserable all the time because I couldn't give her what she wanted. That wouldn’t last and when it fell apart, it would throw off the environment of the whole friend group.
My mind was swimming and the clarity I thought I was going to get coming into the shower was not coming through.
Our whole situation up to this point had not been normal. All we had done was have sex and lie about our true feelings. What would happen when we were out of this environment and back in our real lives? How did we fit together?
I wanted to know. I wanted to know so bad that it scared me a little bit. I had never wanted to stick my neck out for a woman like this before. Logically, I knew that my reason for staying away from relationships was incredibly biased but I held onto it anyway. I didn't mind being wrong about Maggie. My parents didn't have to be my single model for romantic relationships. For t
he first time, I was more curious about the future than scared of it. I wanted to give her and me both the benefit of the doubt to see whether it could work.
I got out of the shower and Maggie was still nowhere in sight. Before going downstairs, I decided to pack up my bags and carry them downstairs with me. Coming down, I heard her voice coming from the kitchen. She was on the phone.
“Food? No, we were pretty good there. No Dinner Party scenario or anything,” she was saying as I walked in. I found that she had made some coffee so helped myself.
“I’ll let you know when we get there… yeah, for sure… I get it, no need to apologize. We’re getting out of here anyway.” After a few seconds, she ended the call.
“Was that Missy?” I asked her.
“Yeah, it was her. She was just talking about the snowplows and apologizing that it took as long as it did. Apparently, conditions are a lot better now so we should have no problem getting down to Vail. Everyone’s there already, waiting for us.”
“That’s great. Is the plan still on though? Are we still coming back all the way out here to shoot?”
“She didn’t say. Basically, the original plan has already gone to hell, so we are going to meet up and regroup.” She wasn’t looking at me, she was looking down at her phone, but she wasn’t trying to read a text message or check the time. She sounded a little bit distant. Was something wrong? I had a lot on my mind too and now I was curious whether it was for the same reason.
I had never been so concerned about what another person thought about me in my whole life almost. As a general rule, I never gave people that power over me, but Maggie was making me reconsider.
I heard a sound outside. Instead of looking out the window in the kitchen I went out to the front door and opened it. They were here, the snowplows. I would have paid an ungodly amount of money to see this sight yesterday but today it just felt a little empty. I went ahead and went outside, walking out to the road to talk to one of the drivers.
Admit You Need Me: A Secret Pregnancy Romance (Irresistible Billionaires Book 4) Page 10
