“What?” My stomach clenches painfully. What does this mean for me and Belle? Will she want him back now that he’s available again? Nausea rolls in my gut. The feel of Belle’s hand on my leg startles me from my thoughts.
She looks at me with concern. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I clear my throat and swallow the rising bile. “I, uh, I just need some air.” I stand and walk into the hallway, where I lean against the wall. Bent over, hands on my thighs, I force in several deep breaths.
“Grayson?” Belle’s voice is soft and filled with concern.
I look up.
“What’s wrong?” She approaches cautiously.
“Nothing.” I straighten. The last thing I’m going to do is be that kind of boyfriend—the one who’s overly jealous and insecure. If Belle decides she wants Cam back, there’s nothing I can do to stop her. It’s better for me if I just accept that now.
“Liar.” She crosses her arms. “You freaked out the second you found out Cam and Andrea broke up.”
I clench my teeth.
“That’s what this is about?” Realization dawns on her face. “You’re worried I’m going to get back together with Cam, aren’t you?” She laughs as if that’s the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard.
“Should I worry?”
“No.” She steps up to me, takes hold of my arms, and wraps them around her. “I’m with you, Grayson. I don’t want anyone else.”
Relief floods me, and I rest my forehead against hers. “Prove it,” I whisper.
She closes the distance between us and kisses me. It’s packed with so much emotion I can’t think straight. But I no longer have any concerns about lingering feelings she might have for Cam.
“Thank you,” I say once she pulls away.
Her only response is a knowing smile. My heart flutters, and warmth spreads through my body. I’m falling in love with Isabelle Carson.
25
ISABELLE
I RUB MY FINGER ACROSS my still tingling lips as I walk to class. I’m not sure if Grayson’s behavior is sweet or troubling. He’s clearly worried I’m going to get back together with Cam, which I guess is sweet in that he cares enough about losing me that he freaked out. But jealousy is never a good thing, and I hope this isn’t going to be a recurring issue with him.
“Isabelle!”
Turning at the sound of my name, I come face to face with Andrea. My stomach clenches, and the tips of my ears burn. What does she want? I hitch my backpack strap higher on my shoulder and take a deep breath.
“Yeah?” I say, much snottier than necessary.
“Can we talk?” She doesn’t look me in the eyes when she speaks.
“I have class.” I’m sure she does, too.
“I know.” She sighs. “After school, maybe?”
I shift on my feet. She’s the last person I want to talk to, but I am curious as to why she suddenly broke up with Cam. Neither of them cared enough about me when they got together, so what’s the problem now?
“Please?” she says, finally looking up at me. Her hazel eyes are red and puffy, and her face is pale.
God teaches us forgiveness, right? Maybe if I get over myself and talk to her, I can get my life back in order. “Okay.” I nod. “I’ll meet you at your locker after last period.”
She lets out a heavy sigh, her shoulders drooping. “Thank you.”
Without another word, I turn back around and head to class. It’s impossible to concentrate, though, because I can’t stop thinking about what Andrea wants to say. Is she going to apologize? Does she want to be friends again? Do I?
The rest of the day ticks by torturously slow, and I’m ready to crawl out of my own skin by the time the final bell rings. I go to my locker and switch out my books, my movements frantic. Part of me worries Andrea will change her mind and leave before I get down to her locker.
“Hey there, beautiful.” Grayson kisses my cheek.
His words melt my insides. I close my locker and turn to face him. “Hey.”
“Want to come over?”
“Yes,” I say quickly. “But I have something I need to do first. Can I just meet you at your house later?”
He tilts his head, and that same look from earlier crosses his face—the one of dread and impending heartbreak. “I don’t mind hanging around and waiting,” he says.
“Andrea wants to talk to me.” I reach for his hand and lace our fingers. I want him to know he has nothing to worry about. “It shouldn’t take too long. But if you want to hang out and wait, that’s cool.”
He lifts my hand and presses a kiss to the back of it. “Vick is starting a study group for physics. The initial meeting is today, so I can go check that out while you’re talking to Andrea.”
I nod. “I’ll come find you in the lab when I’m done?”
“You better.” He tugs me into his arms. Then he kisses me; it’s long and slow, like a lazy river on a hot summer’s day.
When he releases me, I sway on my feet, dizzy from his kiss. My eyes flutter open. “Mmm. I’ll make this fast. Promise.”
“I’ll be waiting.” With a wink, he heads toward the science lab.
I head for the closest stairwell and practically run to Andrea’s locker. The hallway is almost empty, and a fresh wave of worry hits me. Thankfully, Andrea hasn’t left. She’s leaning against her locker, books clutched to her chest. I approach, out of breath.
“Sorry,” I say. “I had to go to my locker, and then I got distracted.”
“With Grayson?” she asks, a trace of humor in her tone.
“Well, he is a pretty big distraction.” I laugh.
She laughs, too, and for a moment, we’re best friends again, talking about boys. But I forget we haven’t spoken much since school started, and our friendship is broken, maybe beyond repair.
“Thanks for showing up,” she says.
“So, what did you want to talk to me about?”
Andrea takes a deep breath. “Can we go somewhere else? Maybe the cafeteria or something?”
“I think there’s some sort of meeting in the cafeteria. The Spanish room is empty. We can go there,” I suggest.
She nods, and we walk in silence to Señorita Guzmán’s room. I flick on the lights and close the door before taking a seat next to Andrea. I fold my hands on the table. “So, what did you want to talk about?” I ask for the second time in a matter of minutes. Not very smooth, but we’re not here to have a friendly chat.
“I wanted to explain what happened and to say I’m sorry.” She hesitates.
“I’m listening.”
“My dad’s company has been downsizing for almost a year, and back in May, he lost his job.” She averts her gaze to her lap, where she’s twisting her hands nervously. “He hasn’t been able to find another one, so he had to get into my college fund to pay the bills.”
Words escape me, and my expression fills with sympathy for her. Who knew she’s been dealing with so much?
“Money is so tight that my mom had to go to Pastor Jeff and ask if the church could help us.” Her voice drops to a whisper, and I have to lean closer to hear her. “They did, but now every time I go there, it feels like everyone is talking about us and how we needed charity.” Andrea covers her face with her hands. “Talk about embarrassing.”
“I had no idea,” I say, still trying to shake off the shock. “I’m so sorry.”
She drops her hands and heaves out a sigh.
“You could have told me,” I say gently and touch her arm. “And Hannah.”
“I know, but I was just so embarrassed. And you were dealing with Brandon’s accident. I didn’t want you to have to deal with my problems, too.” She looks at me with sad eyes. “Pastor Jeff told Cam about everything because he thought it would help if I had a friend to talk to. So, I did. I spent so much time with Cam, just talking to him. Crying. Praying.”
My stomach twists. I thought Andrea had been traveling all summer. Guess that’s just another lie she told to hi
de what had been really going on. Well, at least now I know the truth about why she was always too busy to hang out with me and Hannah this past summer. Not that I hung out with Hannah all that much, either. But now I know why Cam rarely answered my calls and texts.
“I don’t know how or when it happened, but my feelings for Cam changed. And then one day, we kissed.” She shifts in the chair to face me. “What I did to you was wrong. I know that now. I mean, I knew it when I was doing it, but I was so caught up in my emotions. I’m so sorry, Isabelle.” Tears streak silently down her face.
This is it—either I accept her apology and put all this behind us, or I hold a grudge and lose the opportunity to restore our friendship.
“I never should’ve gone behind your back like I did. I should’ve just been honest with you about everything and told you how I felt about Cam. I—”
I hold up my hand to silence her. The last thing I want is to listen to her tell me how much she likes Cam. “I accept your apology.”
Her entire body slumps as if I’ve removed a massive weight from her shoulders. “Thank you.”
“I heard you two broke up.” I don’t know why I said that—it isn’t any of my business, and I really don’t care. But seeing her so upset tugs at my heart, and I can’t stop all the familiar feelings of a lifetime of friendship from resurfacing.
“Yeah.” She nods. “I broke up with him last night.”
“Why?” I blurt out.
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “Being with him just doesn’t feel right. And I’m pretty sure he’s still in love with you.”
I laugh—I can’t help it. “Right. That’s why he cheated on me?” I shake my head with disgust and lean back in the chair. “Look, I was so mad at you two for what you did, but I’m over it, okay? I’ve moved on.”
“I know. Hannah says you’re really happy.” Andrea smiles.
“I am.”
“Good.” She sounds sincere. “I miss you, Isabelle. I want to be friends again.”
Now that she doesn’t have Cam, my friendship is important to her again? I have to stop myself from scoffing and rolling my eyes. “I miss you, too, but how can I trust you?” Fear grips my chest—what if she does this to me again? What if she tries to steal Grayson the same way she stole Cam?
“I don’t know.” She sighs again, defeated. “Can you at least try? I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right.”
“I’ll—You seriously think Cam still loves me? Did he tell you that?” I shake my head. “Personally, I don’t think Cam ever loved me. Not really. He only liked me because I always did what he wanted. I was the perfect submissive girlfriend. That’s what he loved. Not me.”
“Yeah, he wasn’t too happy when I didn’t do what he wanted.” She sniffles and digs through her bag for a tissue. Finding one, she wipes her nose. “He gave me this long lecture on how the Bible says women are supposed to be subservient to men.”
I cup my hand over my mouth. “He didn’t.”
“He did.” She giggles.
When I stop laughing and catch my breath, I say, “He’s not going to make a very good pastor, is he?” We delve into giggles again, and it feels good to have my other best friend back. I wipe my tears of laughter and blow out a breath.
Andrea reaches out and hesitantly puts her hand on my arm. “Can you ever forgive me?”
“Yeah, I think I can.” I give her an awkward hug. “But Grayson is totally off-limits, got it?”
“Got it.” She chuckles and releases me. “Honestly, I think I’m done with boys for a while.”
“Yeah, they’re nothing but trouble, huh?” I grin. “Speaking of troublesome boys, I need to go.” I stand and sling my bag over my shoulder. “I have to meet Grayson, but call me later, okay?”
“Definitely. And thanks, Isabelle. It means so much that you’re willing to give me another chance.”
I nod, praying I’m not making a huge mistake by offering her my forgiveness and friendship. “I’ll see ya later.” Giving her a small wave, I leave. I don’t know how long Grayson will be in the study group, but I don’t want to interrupt. If he’s still in there, I’ll just wait outside the room for him. I can get a head start on the reading assignment for my English class—except that I forgot the book in my locker.
I groan and detour back to the senior hallway where my locker is located. Maybe I should just text Grayson and let him know I’m done. Knowing him, he’ll cut out of study group early so we can hang out. The thought of curling up on his couch with him and watching a movie with him and his dad is consuming me. I can’t wait to get out of this school and relax. Head down, I grab my phone from my pocket and open my messages.
“Oh, good. You’re still here. I thought you left already.”
I jerk my head up. Cam. “Yeah, well, I’m just waiting for Grayson, and then I’m leaving.”
Cam narrows his eyes in that way he does when he’s not happy. “Think you can spare a minute? Or will your new boyfriend get mad if you’re late?”
I scowl and cross my arms. “What do you want, Cam?” My patience is gone, and I’m not going to stand here and listen to him make snotty comments about Grayson.
He sighs and drags his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry I hurt you with the whole Andrea thing.”
What is this—national apologize to Isabelle day? First Andrea and now Cam. Seriously, this is starting to get weird. “Well, you know, God works all things for the good of those who love Him…”
Cam furrows his brows and continues as if I said nothing. “And I just want you to know I made a mistake.”
“I don’t need you to tell me you made a mistake. I already know that.” And I'm over it. He should be, too.
“No, I mean I made a mistake when I broke up with you.” He steps closer.
I lean back. So, cheating on me is cool, but breaking up with me isn’t? What is wrong with him? Where’s Grayson when I need him?
“You’re different lately.” Cam takes another step toward me, and I’m frozen in place. “You smile a lot more. You’re happier.”
Is he expecting a response? I have no idea what to say.
“You’re so… vibrant.” He places his hands on my shoulders. “It’s like I’m seeing you for the first time, and my gosh, Isabelle.”
My heart is in my throat. A month ago, I would’ve sold my soul to hear him say these things, but now… it makes me physically sick. He doesn’t want me because he’s seen what he’s lost. He only wants me because he knows he can’t have me—and because he’s on the rebound from Andrea. This is nothing more than jealousy.
“I never should’ve broken up with you,” he whispers. “Please give me another chance.”
“Cam. This isn’t—”
He silences me with a kiss I’m not expecting, a kiss I don’t want.
26
GRAYSON
MY SIDES HURT FROM LAUGHING so hard. Leave it to Vick to turn something as boring as a physics study group into a one-man comedy act. At this rate, none of us will pass this class. But we’ll have fun failing.
“So, we’ll meet every Wednesday after school?” Vick looks around the group, and everyone nods. “And if there’s a big test, we’ll add another study session.”
“Sounds good,” I say. I gather my stuff and follow the rest of the group out of the room, expecting to see Isabelle waiting for me, but she’s not here. She’s probably still talking to Andrea. I glance around for Vick and find him almost at the end of the hall. “Hey, Vick!” I jog after him. “Do you know where Andrea’s locker is?”
“Junior hallway.”
I clap him on the back. “Thanks, man.” Thankfully, the junior hallway isn’t as big as the senior hallway. When I get there, it’s deserted. No sign of Belle or Andrea. Did they go somewhere else to talk? I grab my phone and send her a message. study group is over. where are you? did you get lost? lol.
Maybe she’s waiting at my locker. I trudge back upstairs. When I exit the stairwell, I stop cold. Al
l the breath rushes from my lungs in one sharp whoosh. Cam and Belle. Kissing. It feels like someone is repeatedly stabbing my heart with a butter knife. This can’t be real. I’m seeing things. But no matter how many times I blink, the scene doesn’t change.
Belle—my beautiful, funny, spunky Belle—is kissing her ex-boyfriend.
She’s cheating on me.
I guess I pick them as well as my dad.
Pain morphs into anger that radiates through my body, spreading like a virus until it’s raging out of control. I spin on my heel and storm toward the exit. Shoving the door open, I let out a scream. How can she do this to me? After I told her about my mom… I speed walk to my bike, each step heavier and harder than the last. All I want to do is throw stuff and punch something. I curl my hand into a fist, then flex my fingers, repeating the motion until my entire hand aches.
I hop on my bike and take off much too fast. I need to get as far away from that school—and Isabelle—as I can. I drive around for almost an hour, and by the time I get home, I’m feeling slightly better. The rage has settled to a dull hum in the back of my mind. It’s my heart that hurts now.
My phone’s been buzzing in my pocket almost non-stop. I can’t ignore it any longer. Pulling it from my pocket, I take a deep breath, knowing I’m going to have messages from Isabelle. And I do—six of them.
lol. no, not lost. had to go back to my locker. meet me there?
are you still in study group?
just went to the science lab. where are you?
your bike is gone. did you leave without me?
hello?? please answer me!
okay, i’m really worried, grayson. what’s going on? where are you?
Reading her messages reignites the anger in my chest. How can she send me all this stuff like nothing’s wrong? She knows what she did. She may not know that I know, but that doesn’t change anything. She cheated on me. I delete her messages without answering any of them, turn my phone off, and go inside.
“Hey, Grays,” Dad says. His hand is no longer bandaged, and the stitches will be removed in a couple of days.
Perfectly Imperfect Page 18
