Anyone but You

by Chelsea M. Cameron

  WE WENT TO A NICER Italian place for dinner and I got a plate of pasta that was half my body weight, which I devoured. Tuesday ate an entire pizza and a serving of meatballs. The waiter came over to ask us about dessert, saw the empty plates and almost fainted.

  “Yes, we want dessert,” Tuesday said, reaching for the menu in his hand. He gave it to her and took the empty plates, shaking his head.

  We ordered a limoncello cheesecake and a double chocolate cake since we couldn’t decide which we wanted more.

  After the dessert plates had been scraped clean, I sat back and put my hands on my belly.

  “That was fabulous. We should definitely come here again.”

  “Yeah?” Tuesday said, resting her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand.

  “Definitely. We can try something else on our next date.” Tuesday laughed softly.

  “I still can’t believe we’re dating.” I reached my hand across the table and she took it, twisting our fingers together.

  “I know, but I’ve gotta say that I like dating more than I like not dating you. Even if I don’t like you.” I said the last part playfully, so she would know I was joking.

  “I don’t like you either,” she said, but her eyes were smiling.

  This time I got the check and then we left, our hands still wrapped together.

  I THOUGHT ABOUT GIVING Tuesday instructions and rules for meeting Zee, but then I decided that was ridiculous and it would be fine. I wanted them to like each other so much, I could barely deal. The closer we got to my apartment, the more nervous I got. Tuesday put her hand on my leg.

  “If they’re as great as you say they are, then I’m going to like them. Stop stressing.” I couldn’t. Zee was on the couch when we walked into the house and got up to come over and shake Tuesday’s hand.

  “It’s so nice to finally meet you. I feel like I know you already,” Zee said, and I could tell they were genuinely happy to see us.

  Tuesday shook Zee’s hand, and said “likewise.” There was one of those moments of silence and then it was broken by the sounds of small kittens.

  “Oh my goodness,” Tuesday said, in a tone of voice I’d never heard. Not even with the turtles. She leaned down and picked both of them up, cradling them to her chest as they purred and pawed at her clothes and hair.

  “Aren’t you the most precious things in the entire world?” She kissed both of their heads and rocked back and forth with them, like they were fussy human babies.

  “She likes kittens and she gave us cake. I’d say she’s a winner so far,” Zee said with a grin. Tuesday looked up from the kitty faces, as if she’d forgotten anyone else was in the room.

  “Sorry. I’ve just seen so many videos of them that I’ve been thinking about this for ages.” That made Zee laugh and Tuesday’s face got red. “Sorry. Not that I wasn’t excited about meeting you.” Tuesday looked at me to throw her a line.

  “It’s fine, Zee is just messing with you. If you didn’t fall in love with the kittens, they’d be concerned. Right?” I turned to Zee for confirmation.

  “Exactly.”

  We sat down on the couch and Tuesday put the kittens down on the floor.

  “So, I hear you do CrossFit,” Zee said, and I gave them a warning glance.

  “Yes?” Tuesday said, not sure what was going to follow that statement.

  “I hear that’s a really good workout. I’m more into active sports, but I can appreciate the competitive aspects.” I stared at Zee. They had pulled no punches when they’d told me how much they despised that kind of CrossFit environment before. One of the things I’d been worried about was Zee attacking Tuesday for being involved in it, but here they were, surprising me.

  “It is competitive, if you want it to be.” Once Tuesday got talking about CrossFit, she didn’t want to stop, much like I was with yoga. Zee was used to being around passionate people, and was passionate themselves, so this was nothing new.

  Zee asked Tuesday some more questions about the gym and then they talked turtles for a few minutes before Zee’s phone went off.

  “That’s my ride.”

  “Where are you going?” I asked. They’d been a little cagey about what these “plans” were.

  “Nowhere,” they said, getting up and patting me on the head.

  “Seriously? Where are you going and who are you going with?” I called behind them as they ran out the door.

  “None of your business, Mom!” they yelled over their shoulder and then closed the door.

  “I bet they’re going on a date, but I don’t know why they wouldn’t tell me about it. They always want to know every single detail of what my romantic relationships are.” I rushed to the window, but the car that picked Zee up was already gone.

  “Dammit. I bet they’re on a date.” That was going to bug me for the rest of the evening. I sent them an accusatory message, but they didn’t respond right away.

  “You two are really close, aren’t you?” Tuesday commented from the couch.

  “Yeah, I can’t imagine my life without them. They’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a sibling. We were randomly paired up in college and we’ve lived together ever since. I think part of my reluctance to get into a completely committed relationship is that I don’t want to not live with Zee. I think if someday we could have separate homes that were still attached in some way, that would be ideal.” Zee and I would always be together somehow. I hoped Tuesday was okay with that. Some people wouldn’t be.

  “That’s great that you found each other and that you’ve stayed so close. I’m envious, to be honest,” she said, stroking both of the kittens heads at once.

  “It doesn’t weird you out that we’re so close?” That was always my concern.

  “No? Should it?” I breathed a sigh of relief.

  “No,” I said. “Would you like the grand tour?” She stood up and carried the kittens with us as I showed her the apartment.

  “Do you want some coffee or anything?”

  “Maybe some tea, if you have it.” I had tons of tea, and I opened the cabinet in the kitchen and showed her my bounty.

  “Pick your poison.” She pointed to a box of peppermint, and I brewed two cups in the kettle. When it was just me, I always just put the water in the microwave.

  “This is nice,” she said about the kitchen.

  “Not as nice as yours,” I mumbled.

  “What?” she said.

  “Nothing. Do you want honey or lemon?”

  “Both.”

  We took our tea back into the living room and curled up together on the couch.

  “It’s nice being here with you,” she said, turning her face and kissing my lips softly.

  “It’s nice having you here,” I said, and moved so I could kiss her more easily. Unfortunately, there were two little fuzz balls that protested me doing that.

  “Don’t be clitblockers,” I scolded them in a soft voice, before setting them on the floor. I looked up to find Tuesday choking on her tea and coughing.

  “You okay?” She wiped her mouth with a napkin and nodded, taking a few deep breaths.

  “Clitblockers? Really?” I shrugged.

  “I mean, where is the lie?” Tuesday smiled and shook her head.

  “What made you think you’re getting laid tonight?” Her tone was flirtatious.

  “Um, because you can’t resist me?” I posed dramatically, throwing my head back and then shaking my boobs.

  “You’re a little cocky, aren’t you?”

  “No, I’m a little clitty,” I pointed out. That made her laugh again.

  Tuesday leaned closer and used my shirt to pull my mouth to hers.

  “You’re a little everything, princess,” she said in a low voice, and I shivered with goosebumps.

  “Is that good?” I asked. I hoped it was good.

  “Mmm, very good.” Our lips met again and she tasted of mint and honey and I was starved for her. I immediately climbed in her lap and started to go for her
clothes.

  “Wait, wait,” she said, grabbing my hands to stop me. “I can’t do this in front of them.” I was confused.

  “In front of who?”

  “Them,” she said, pointing to the kittens who sat on the floor and stared at us, unblinking. It was eerie.

  “Okay, I think we need to move this somewhere else.” I got off of Tuesday’s lap and went to the pantry where I hid some of their catnip-filled toys. That was one way to keep them distracted for a little while.

  I shook the toys at them and they knew immediately what they were and started pawing my legs and crying.

  “Yes, I know. Here you go.” I set the toys down and they both pounced, meowing happily. “There, now we can do whatever we want. That will amuse them for at least a little while.” I looked up at Tuesday with a grin.

  “Well then,” she said, getting up from the couch. “What are we waiting for?”

  I LED THE WAY TO MY bedroom, grateful that I’d cleaned it last night in preparation for her being here. It hadn’t been this tidy since I’d moved in. Not that I was a slob, but I had a demanding job that required a lot of hours, and that didn’t leave a whole lot of energy for cleaning. I also had two kitties that were constantly getting into mischief and pulling things out of drawers.

  My room was small, but I liked to think it had a comfortable, unassuming vibe. No high thread-count sheets here.

  Tuesday shut the door and rested her back on it.

  “Come here,” she said, crooking her finger at me.

  “No, you come here,” I said, going over to sit on the bed. “We’re on my turf.”

  “You’re being awfully bossy, princess,” she said.

  “Yup. My room, my rules.” I reached my arms out for her and she crossed the room and came to stand in front of me. “Now, turn around and show me that butt.” She burst out laughing, but spun around and then did something that almost made me slide off the bed.

  Tuesday bent over and did something to make her ass undulate in the way I’d only seen people do in music videos.

  “That’s a very impressive skill, you should put that on your resume,” I said, when I could remember how to talk. My voice sounded a little strangled and breathless.

  “Thanks, I’ll remember to do that,” she said, looking at me over her shoulder.

  “But you know what would make that even better?” I asked, reaching out and grabbing the waist of her pants and tugging her in between my legs.

  “What?” she said, squealing a little.

  “If you were wearing no pants while doing that.” I tugged at the waistband again.

  Tuesday gasped.

  “Are you trying to get my pants off?”

  “Yes? I thought that was obvious. If my choices are Tuesday with pants and Tuesday without pants, I’ll take the second, every time.” Tuesday laughed and I heard the sound of a zipper.

  “In that case . . .” In a feat that could only be described as magic, Tuesday removed the skintight jeans and discarded them on my floor. They looked so much better that way. She was left in underwear that was more of a whisper than actual fabric.

  “I didn’t know people actually wore thongs,” I said. “Isn’t it like having floss between your cheeks?” I stroked the little tail of fabric that rested above her ass.

  “You certainly have a way with words. And you get used to it,” she said, spinning around and taking my cheeks in both hands and tilting my face up.

  “Should I shake my ass again?” What kind of a question was that? The answer would always be yes. I held up a finger for her to wait a second and grabbed my phone, scrambling to find the right song.

  “Okay, got it,” I said, hitting play. Tuesday groaned, but then bent over and started shaking her ass in time with the music.

  “I’m not doing this all night,” she said.

  “Mmm, just a few more seconds,” I said, tilting my head to get the best view. “Can you teach me how to do that?”

  “Sure,” she said, doing a little twirl. The front of her thong was completely transparent and I was starting to see the benefit of them.

  “Now, you dance for me,” she said, taking my hands and pulling me to my feet.

  “So, I know I know how to do a yoga flow, but, uh, I’m not super coordinated when it comes to dancing. I’m guessing any kinds of moves I’m going to come up with are not going to seduce you. At all.” I’d watched myself dance in mirrors before and it wasn’t pretty.

  “I’m sure that’s not true,” Tuesday said, putting her hands on my hips. “All you need to do is move your hips. Come on, you can do it.” I tried, but my whole bottom half moved, so I looked like I was a middle-aged dad trying to rock it out at a bowling alley after a few beers.

  “No, isolate your hips. Like this.” She moved until our hips were pressed together and I wasn’t thinking about dancing. I could only feel the heat of her skin and the fact that there were only a few layers of fabric between us.

  “Move with me,” she said, her hands pushing my hips from one side to the other in a swaying motion as she did the same with her hips. The friction between us made me bite my lip so I didn’t moan. This was the most erotic dancing lesson I’d ever had.

  “There, you’ve got it,” she said, but then I faltered and lost my rhythm.

  “Sorry,” I said, my face getting red. “I told you I wasn’t a good dancer.”

  “That’s okay,” she said, digging her fingers into my hips. “I can think of something else you can do with your hips that I think you might like better.” A whimpering sound emerged from my mouth and she smiled.

  “Let’s get you out of this outfit now.”

  Within moments I was naked, and I wasn’t quite sure how it happened.

  “Why am I always the first one naked? It’s not fair,” I whined.

  “Because you’re prettier,” she said, as if that was a fact.

  “Excuse me? Are you on drugs?” What in the hell was she talking about?

  “You’re prettier than me? That’s not a secret, or a surprise,” she said. That was not going to fly.

  “There is one person here who is the prettiest, and it’s not me,” I said, tracing my fingers down her neck. She bit her bottom lip and shook her head.

  “No way.”

  I leaned closer and whispered in her ear, “Yes way,” before I took her earlobe between my teeth and bit it softly. A garbled sound came from her lips and I laughed. That was an end to that argument, for now.

  “Now, let me take your clothes off,” I said, placing a kiss on her neck.

  “Uh huh,” she said, and I loved that I’d rendered her as senseless as I got when she kissed my neck.

  I got the shirt off, and wrestled a little with the bra, which was ridiculous because I took a bra off at least once a day. Hooking my fingers in the strings of the thong, I slid them down her legs. I helped her kick them aside and then ran my hands up and down the front of her thighs.

  “You have the best thighs I’ve ever seen,” I said.

  “They’re not too big?” she asked, muscles twitching.

  “They’re perfect.” I kissed one thigh and then the other. “Let me show your thighs some appreciation.” I drew her onto the bed and pushed her so she was on her back.

  “When I first saw you, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I wanted to lick each and every one of your muscles. I was too impatient to do that our first night, but I have plenty of patience now.” I dragged my hand down the center of her chest and circled her belly button. She quivered in anticipation.

  “I was going to start from the top and work my way down, but I don’t think I’m going to do that.” No, I was going to start from her feet.

  Tuesday sat up, her face flushed.

  “You don’t have a foot fetish, do you?” I picked up her right foot and kissed the arch.

  “Would it matter if I did?” She blew some hair out of her face.

  “I mean, I’d have to get used to it. Not something I’ve had a who
le lot of experience with.” I smiled and kissed each one of her toes.

  “No, I don’t have a foot fetish, but it’s good to know how you’d feel if I did.” I kissed her heel, and then the top of her foot. Her ankle was next, then her unbelievable calf. I learned that she was ticklish behind her knees, a fact that I stored away for later use. Her knee had a tiny scar on it that I wanted to ask about later. I left her thigh for later and did the same routine to her other leg, stopping just short of her powerful thighs. Scooting forward, I situated myself between them. I had the perfect view of all her best physical attributes. Tuesday had pressed herself up on her elbows to watch me. Her pupils were large and her breathing erratic. I hadn’t done much, but she was already having a hard time. Good. I wanted to drive her wild before making her come so hard, she’d never forget it, and then make her come at least two more times. I wanted to give her an unforgettable night.

  Ignoring my own raging lust, I parted her thighs and licked my way upwards.

  “I know your nipples are horribly neglected right now, but I will get to them, don’t you worry.” Oh, I’d get to them after round one.

  Tuesday’s skin was slightly salty and so warm, it was like her internal furnace was always on.

  Curious, I softly bit one of her thighs and she bucked against me and made noises that said she’d enjoyed that. So I did it again, and again, leaving little red marks on her skin that faded too quickly for my liking. I wanted to leave marks on her. That was a new feeling.

  Her front was lovely, but I had neglected her back and I needed to fix that.

  “Can you roll over, babe?” The endearment came out of my mouth without me even intending to say it. I hoped she didn’t notice that little slip. Tuesday flipped onto her stomach and turned her head to the side with a sigh.

  I sat on my heels for a moment, just savoring the view of her ass and her back.

  “This is the best view I’ve ever seen. Maybe tied with the front view of you. Then the Grand Canyon is second. The Eifel Tower is third.” I scraped my nails down her back and circled one of her ass cheeks with a finger. I pinched it softly, wondering what would happen. She made a little surprised noise, but it wasn’t one that told me not to do that again. I rubbed a circle on her skin and then gave her a quick little slap. Her hips jacked up and she let out an audible moan. No mistaking that.