by CJ Murphy
“I’m sorry for waking you, Gram. She’s stable. Her blood count is low, so her mother is donating blood in case they need it. That woman is a trip. Did Beth tell you?”
“Yup, Beth said she came in with both guns blazing. She’s scared, honey. No parent is meant to bury their child. I should know. When your kids are sick and there isn’t anything ya can do, it tears your soul apart. Sounds like it’s only by the grace of God that we ever got to meet Val. Whatever happened to her over there must have been pretty bad. Ya can’t mend a fence if the fence is gone. Now, how are ya?”
Laurel was grateful it was dark. She knew her grandmother always saw the truth in her, even if she didn’t tell her everything. “You also can’t build a bridge if the other side doesn’t exist. I don’t know what I’d have done if I’d lost her. I’m all jumbled up inside. You, of all people, know why I don’t get involved. I can’t put someone through what we went through with Momma.” Laurel was near tears thinking about her mother’s death. She’d watched her struggle and suffer. The memory of her illness was a constant reminder to be vigilant with her own health.
“Liebchen, ya love that woman, and she loves ya too. Everyone around ya can see it. For some reason, you two are bound and determined to not take a chance. I only had your grandpa for a few short years. Ya have a chance to spend your life with the one ya love, no matter how long that is. Listen to what your heart is telling ya to do. Now, get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day, and Val’s gonna need us. Love ya.” Ree leaned in, kissed her Laurel’s head, and rolled over, pulling the covers over her shoulder. “Never did like sleepin’ in a strange bed. Damn thing is harder than a river bed full of rocks.”
“Night, Gram.” Laurel adjusted the covers around her. Gram was such a homebody. The finest hotel wouldn’t have satisfied her. She was a child of the mountain and had no desire to roam.
Trying to fall asleep, Laurel’s mind drifted to Val and her wandering soul. Could she ever be happy in one place? Could she be happy with me? Val traveled everywhere for her job and had told Laurel there was really no place she’d ever settled other than the seat of her motorcycle. Laurel sighed, remembering Val’s tagline she had posted during her visit. There’s no place like home. Cool Springs seems to hold some place in her heart. Could Val be content with Gram and me? Laurel thought about all the gentle touches she and Val had exchanged over the years. None had been overtly sexual, and yet still intimate in their own way. Her hand fit so naturally in Val’s. Val would always pull her close, an arm wrapped around her waist or shoulders anytime they were near. Tonight was truly the first time they had ever kissed beyond a greeting. Laurel was no virgin, but that kiss had ignited her more than any other sexual experience. That kiss set me on fire.
With a start, she remembered the reason she hadn’t been with anyone in years. The fear of dying from the same cancer that took her mother, paralyzed her ability to love. She scowled at her earlier musings. How could I do that to Val? She’s already lost too much. Tugging her hair into a loose twist, she held it in her hands and settled her cheek against the cool pillows. Closing her eyes, she sent a silent prayer into the heavens that Val would be all right. She’d figure this out after the current crisis had passed. Right now, Val needed to heal, and she was bound and determined to make sure that happened.
Chapter Eight
OVER THE NEXT SEVERAL days, Val continued to get better. They were fortunate that one infusion of her mother’s donated blood had helped bring her counts back up. Dr. Ellis had upgraded her condition to stable, and she was moved out of the SICU and into a private room. This allowed her mother and Laurel to visit more frequently. Laurel was there every afternoon once she’d finished the morning shift. Val had asked her mother to pick up a new smartphone, as hers had been smashed in the accident. Luckily, they could extract the SIM card and all her data and contact information had been salvaged. They were also able to bring her laptop to her. Upon inspection, it appeared to suffer no damage because of the hard-sided saddlebags, but after using it a few times, Val could tell it was on its last leg. She had her mother purchase an external hard drive for her.
One day, while her mother was out, she called Liz to reschedule the appointment with her the following week. Val was fairly sure she’d flashed during the accident. Still pictures spidered out from her memory. I can remember the taste of blood in my mouth, pain all over my body, even the impact itself in a way. The last thing she remembered was yelling for the medic. She shook her head, clearing the thoughts. Trying desperately to keep the strength in her voice, she spoke to her friend. “Sorry, Liz, I’m going to have to reschedule on you.”
Liz’s voice lowered. “That’s not like you. You haven’t dodged an appointment with me since our first few sessions. What’s going on?”
Val stared mindlessly at the TV. She wasn’t much of a fan. She flexed her right foot and then bent her knee, bringing her foot to rest flat on the starch white sheets. “I’m not dodging anything. I was in a pretty serious motorcycle accident after I left D.C. I’m pretty busted up in a hospital in West Virginia.”
“Oh, Val, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?” Liz asked.
Val heard the shift in her tone. “You can get my mother to go home.”
“Your mother is there? How in the hell did that happen?”
“Some friends remembered where Father worked and the university got in touch with her.” Val sighed. “Luckily, he didn’t come back from overseas, so I’ve only had to deal with one of them.”
“How’s it going with her?”
“It was rough going the first day or so, but it’s settled down. Laurel’s been running interference, and it torques my mother off to no end.” Val laughed. “She calls her Cruella behind her back. I need more pain meds just to not die from laughing.”
Liz laughed, too, and then paused. “How are the nightmares?”
Val sighed again, knowing that she couldn’t bullshit Liz. “I think I flashed during the accident, but it’s pretty fuzzy. My helmet prevented a serious head injury, but I still ended up with a concussion. It feels more like snapshots of memories. I’m not sure if they’re from Iraq or the wreck.” Liz had seen her at her lowest points. Times that she didn’t care about living or dying. The nightmares had been so bad she had to be sedated heavily to sleep even a few hours. She only had to live through the physical pain once. The pain from the memories, she lived over and over and over. She still occasionally woke up screaming from a vivid nightmare of the day that stole her military career and parts of her body. Liz had been there all along the way. Val diverted. “How’s Jo?”
“My wife is fine, busy creating some kind of metal art from scrap pieces of steel. She has a show coming up soon and has several pieces to complete.”
With true admiration in her voice, Val replied, “She amazes me all the things she can do from that robotic chair of hers. I remember she had that conventional one she tricked out after we went through rehab. Designed it herself and built the damn thing with spare parts. She always told me she wouldn’t let her paralysis keep her from doing…”
They both finished in unison, “anything I fucking want to.”
Jo Romano was Val’s best friend and one of the most important people in her life. Having been her chief antagonist, Jo was just as responsible for Val walking as her physical therapists. They met in Bethesda while they were both recovering from active duty injuries. Jo’s Humvee had taken an RPG in Iraq. After the vehicle went airborne and overturned, she’d been paralyzed. She’d already been at Bethesda for seven months when Val came in. Jo pushed Val to quit feeling sorry for herself and get the fuck up, as she had so elegantly put it. Jo had damn near dumped her out of bed and then kept pushing her wheelchair away from her. Each time Val got close, Jo would push it farther away and wheel herself over to it.
And so, it began, day after day, week after week until Val no longer needed Jo to piss her off to get up. After the amputation healed enough, Val was fitted for her prosthe
tic, and the cajoling started again as Val learned to walk using it. Over the months, Val and Jo became good friends, moved into the same room, and Jo saw the full extent of Val’s nightmares. Val resisted any type of counseling until a particularly bad night that ended with Jo crawling out of her own bed across the floor to hold Val. Several ego slams later, Val finally agreed to see someone. Lieutenant Colonel Elizabeth Ruston worked with Val for over a year to root out the triggers to cope with the nightmares. At the end of that year, Liz retired from the service and set up a private practice in Annapolis.
Slowly, Val became aware of Liz’s voice bringing her back from her musings.
“You’re diverting, Val,” Liz said.
Val, confused by her lapse, quickly recovered. “I’m not. I really did want to know about Jo. The nightmares are tolerable right now. Traveling to the wall and attending the ceremonies always stirs things up. I had a pretty bad flashback one day. I grabbed my sketchpad and worked it out.”
“Still seeing the boy?”
“Always. I can’t see the soldier’s face, no matter how much I try.”
“Need a visit? Jo’s always up for a ride in that tricked out Hummer of hers,” Liz offered.
Val chuckled. “You know it’s a little ironic she lost the use of her legs in a Humvee and now as a civilian, she’s still driving one.”
“She says that if she hadn’t been in a reinforced Humvee, she might not have lived long enough to meet the woman of her dreams and marry me. I can’t argue with that logic, so if you can’t beat them, join them.” Liz laughed. “I’ll let you slide for two weeks. After that, I’ll have no choice but to turn my bulldog loose on you.”
Val groaned. “I’ll be coming back to Bethesda soon. My peg leg was mangled. I’ll have to go see the good folks at The Bodyshop about repairing it.”
“That trip better include time to stop in and see me, capisce? Doctor’s orders.” Liz’s tone left no room for argument.
“I promise. If I need to, I’ll call. Tell that pain in the ass you married hi from me.”
“Will do, and don’t be surprised if she comes to see you whether you want her to or not. She’d be up for a good game of catch me if you can. Although with that new chair, I’m not sure you could, even on your motorcycle. Rest, Val, we’ll work on the mind after the body heals. Sketch when you need to. If it gets bad, call.”
“Thanks, Liz.”
Val’s shoulder ached, and she adjusted the immobilizer. She wasn’t looking forward to having another major surgery or another metal body part. She knew her shoulder wasn’t going to heal on its own and not having it fixed, wasn’t an option. Another thing she needed was for her mother to go home. They hadn’t spent this much time together in ten years. They were barely tolerating one another, and her mother was trying to make more and more decisions without Val. That has to stop. I’m not a child anymore. If it got to be too much, Laurel ran interference for her. Seeing her so frequently had become the one positive thing in all of this. Ree had even been to visit a few times, bringing chilidogs, chocolate milk, and a large helping of rhubarb crisp. Val had groaned in appreciation.
She looked up to see Laurel leaning in the doorway watching her. She looked delicious in a pair of worn jeans and a form fitting polo shirt. Carrying a thermal tote in her hands, her smile went straight to Val’s heart.
“How are you, Viking?”
Seeing Laurel warmed her from the inside out. “In Mule’s words, ‘fair to middlin.’ Please tell me you have something from the diner in that tote for me? I think they’re trying to starve me.” Val’s mouth watered in anticipation.
“Oh, Gram has made sure you won’t starve. I’m pretty sure she’s planning to come over here to the hospital cafeteria and give them a piece of her mind after she saw your tray the other day. Tonight, you dine on roast beef, potatoes and gravy, peas and crisp.” Laurel looked around. “Where’s your mother?”
“I sent her back to the hotel. She’s on my reserve nerve and it’s close to snapping. I want her to go home.” Val pushed her head back into the pillows.
Laurel entered the room and arranged supper for Val on the bedside table. Val reached over and clumsily grabbed the fork with her left hand, spearing a piece of the roast beef. Stuffing it in her mouth, she chewed. “Heaven.”
Laurel laughed. “There’s a reason the diner has done so well over the years. Gram can out cook anyone in the county.” Laurel slid the table in front of Val and pulled out the thermos.
Val was right handed, so doing things now required concentration. Left handed, she couldn’t quite spear the peas on her plate. I had better motor skills when I was three. Frustrated and hungry, she huffed.
Laurel took the fork from her and moved the table to the side. She sat on the bed and fed Val one bite after another, stopping to let her take a drink. It was so easy between the two of them. “I think you like me taking care of you. What are you going to do after you get out of the hospital?”
Val put her head back and chewed. “Honestly, I really don’t know. I could get an apartment over in Annapolis near Liz and Jo, which would mean I’m close to someone for help if needed. I’m going to have to go back to The Bodyshop for repairs. I’m sure there will be therapy after surgery on my shoulder. I’m definitely not going back to Washington State. My mother is driving me bat shit crazy as it is.”
“What about your dad?” Laurel asked.
Val answered with thick sarcasm in her voice, rolling her eyes. “Oh, I’m sure you’ve been able to witness how close we are. You can tell by how many times he’s been here and his daily calls.”
“I guess that’s all the answer I need.”
Val held up two fingers. “Judging by the amount of times we’ve spoken in the last ten years, I’m not even sure I’d say we’re on speaking terms. He’s an overgrown teenager who never had time for a family if it didn’t suit him. In college, I never knew whether someone wanted to be my friend or get close enough to score points with him. Going my own direction infuriated him.” She rolled her head left and right against the pillow. “You don’t deserve to have this dumped on you. I’m sorry.”
Reaching out for the hand clutching the bedding, Laurel used her other hand to cup Val’s chin, forcing Val’s eyes to hers. “Val, I think we’re close enough that you can say whatever you need to. That’s what family does and as far as Gram and I are concerned, you’re family.”
“I—” Val started, but her words stuck in her throat.
Laurel dropped her hand and began clearing the remains of the dinner. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, doesn’t stop us from caring about you.”
Val caught her arm. “I do feel the same. You two and that crazy bunch from Cool Springs are more important to me that anyone in this world. I only have a few close friends.” Shaking her head for emphasis. “Few people know anything about me. Liz, Jo, and Tess are about all I have. The rest are acquaintances. Don’t ever think you aren’t important to me.”
Laurel cleared her throat. “If that’s so, Gram and I have a proposition for you. We want you to come and recuperate with us after your release. Over in Thomas, there’s a fantastic little nursing home with a top-of-the-line outpatient physical therapy unit run by a friend of mine. I know you have to go back to Bethesda. I’d like to take you. Beth’s offered to take over for me at the diner, and Gram’s threatened to make you go cut your own switch if you don’t agree.”
Val shifted in the bed looking away. Returning her eyes to Laurel, she swallowed hard. “Laurel, that’s a lot to take on.” You’ve already got so much to do. The last thing you need is to babysit me.
Laurel cupped Val’s cheek in her hand. “Think we can’t handle it? Come on, Val. Even if it’s temporary, you need a place to stay and people who care about you. It’s going to be a while before you can ride again, and we want to help. I want to help.”
Leaning into the touch, the years of isolation melted away. “Let’s see what tomorrow brings. If I need surgery o
n my shoulder, I don’t know how soon my doctor at Bethesda will be able to do it.” You don’t know how badly I want to say yes. There’s so much of me you haven’t seen.
“So, you’ll at least think about it?”
“Your offer is one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me. I’ll think about it. Mother isn’t going to like it at all.” Val used her good hand to squeeze her temples. She didn’t look forward to starting World War Three with the formidable woman.
“I’ve had her eating out of my hand since the second day. You’re not the only one who has been entranced by Gram’s crisp.”
Val laughed so hard she was forced to grab her side. “Of that I have no doubt.”
***
Amanda and Laurel sat down in a quiet area. Val’s mother still looked like she’d stepped out of the pages of Vogue. Her eyes, however, held a shadow under them that she tried to conceal with makeup. Even with all their discussions, Amanda revealed little about herself or her relationship with her daughter. Laurel had promised she’d get Amanda to go home, and she needed to get started on that. “Amanda, what are your plans from here?”
With a great sigh, Amanda brought her eyes to Laurel’s. “She’s had enough of me, hasn’t she?”
Laurel dropped her gaze and studied her hands. “That’s not what I asked.”
“I know you didn’t. I also know my daughter. We’ve never had the mother-daughter relationship that some are lucky to have, though she’s actually let me in farther this time. As much as I’d like Val to come home with me, I have no illusions that lead me to believe she ever would. She’s never stayed in one place long enough to put down roots. I think that’s why the military appealed to her. She could see the world and piss both of her parents off at the same time.” Amanda shook her head. “I think she already has everything she needs. I know she’s out of danger now. I’ll start working on booking my return flight this afternoon. Has she told you what she’ll do?”
