“My stepdad.”
Her eyes go as dark as her tone was.
I decide to open up to her a bit more, she has been more than forthcoming with me. “My mum died in a car crash when I was ten, six months earlier she married my stepdad. Not long after she was buried, he would climb into bed with me and touch me. On my fourteenth birthday he finally did what he had wanted to do all along. He raped me, I left that night and never looked back,” I tell her in an even tone, like I’m telling her the weather, hell, I’d probably be more animated when talking about the weather.
She’s up on her feet and over to me quicker than I can blink, she kneels down in front of me, her hands grasping and cocooning mine. “Natalie, I promise you from the bottom of my heart that no man will ever hurt you again. If anyone even dreams of doing so, I’ll stick my heel so far up their arse they’ll be shitting fucking leopard print for years. That sick son-of-a-bitch that you had the misfortune of calling a stepdad, has he any idea where you are?”
I shake my head, overwhelmed by her anger but also by her protectiveness. The last time someone cared for me like this was when I was ten, and that was my mum.
“He’s never going to find you either.” It’s a promise and it’s like instant relief, I’m not alone anymore. That there’s someone willing to help me out, maybe this means that I can sleep easier now?
“Thank you. I’m not used to this. I’ve been alone for three years, I’m not sure how to let people in, or even how I’m supposed to act. My life has been a routine for so long, get up, have a shower, go get something to eat and then work the streets come home and sleep. That’s been my life for as long as I can remember.” I’m scared for the change that’s about to come. Penelope is the only person that I’ve ever told my secrets to and it scares the shit out of me, I’m vulnerable now.
“Take it slow, it’s going to be a big adjustment,” she says gently. “What would you like to eat for dinner?”
“I don’t mind, whatever you want.” Food is food, when you’ve lived like I have you can’t be fussy, you’ll eat what you’re given, and you can either like it or lump it, either way, you eat it.
“Okay, I’ll order us some Chinese food. What would you like?” She’s still kneeling down in front of me, her eyes narrowing as I’m about to answer her. “Don’t say you don’t mind, pick something.”
I close my eyes, the last time I had a Chinese takeaway was a couple of days before my mum died, it was to celebrate her thirtieth birthday. It was just Mum and me, we had a girl’s night in, we played games, Mum did our nails, we put music on and danced, it was the perfect birthday she told me. It’s a memory that I hold dear to me. Something that I’ll always remember and cherish. “Can I have sweet and sour chicken balls and egg fried rice, please?”
“Of course, I’ll ring them and get a delivery and we can finish talking and then maybe watch a movie? What do you say?” She asks as she stands and grabs her phone from her bag.
“Sounds good, I love films.” Usually I’d put them on after I come home and most of the time, I’m either joining them halfway through or they’re just starting, and I’ve seen them a hundred times before, I don’t mind though, I’ll still watch them.
She turns to look at me. “Really? What’s your favourite?”
“I don’t have a favourite, I like comedy and action movies, but put anything on.” I love The Hangover, I’ve watched that a few times and find it hilarious.
“Hmm, I have the perfect movie that I think you may enjoy. Let me call the takeaway place and finish talking and then we can relax.” She scrolls through her phone, no doubt looking for the number for the takeaway, but I can’t help but laugh. “Something you find funny?”
“Do you actually relax? You look uptight.” Shit, I really need to think before I speak.
“Cheeky git, yes I do relax, my way of relaxing is different to most.” With that, she walks out of the sitting room with her phone to her ear, even though she’s in the other room, the softness of her voice fills the room so I turn my attention back towards the telly, Coronation Street is on, I turn up the volume so I won’t eavesdrop.
It’s been a long time since I’ve watched a soap, my mum was a soap addict, she’d watch them all; Neighbours, Home and Away, Hollyoaks, Emmerdale, Corrie, and EastEnders. As soon as half five came she was on the sofa ready for them to begin, the only time she’d move was when there was an ad break and that was only to go to the toilet or get a cup of tea. Looking at the telly, there’s not one character that I recognise, a lot has changed in seven years, it’s hard to believe that’s how long my mum’s been gone. Some days it seems longer and others it’s as though it was only yesterday.
“What are you thinking so hard about?” My heart races, I didn’t realise she came in, turning my head, I look at her, my eyes glance down at her feet and she’s taken off her heels, she’s in her bare feet.
“How much time has changed.”
She comes and sits beside me on the sofa, bringing her feet up just like mine are. “Tell me about it, time moves so quickly when you don’t want it to and so slowly when you do.”
“So, you wanted to talk?” I just hope that it’s not more heavy stuff, I want to put my past firmly behind me.
“Yes, so one more tough question and then we can talk about work, okay?” She looks nervous, more so than she did before.
“Okay, ask away.” I steel myself for whatever question she’s about to ask.
“Why do you want to sleep with the clients? I mean you had the chance to not do that, to just be their dates, you’d make decent money doing it that way. Why wouldn’t you take that job?” She sounds as confused as she looks, I’d say this question has been on her mind since this morning.
“It’s the million-pound question, why do I want to have sex with men that I’ve never met, especially after everything that’s happened?” I muse out loud and Penelope’s carefully scrutinizing me. “I’m dirty, no matter how hard I scrub I can’t get clean. Sleeping with the clients is my way of getting back something that was taken from me, getting a bit of strength back. It was also the only way I could survive. Maybe one day I’ll be clean and then I can finally stop.”
God, she probably thinks I’m crazy, I have no idea how anyone would understand that, it makes no sense to anyone but me. It’s something that I have to do, that I need to do in order to survive, so I don’t crumble to the floor and cry. So, I’m not buried beneath the pain I keep hidden, as much as I’ve dealt with what’s happened, it still hurts, that pain and devastation still takes my breath away when I think of it. It’s why I try my hardest to forget it, why I always say that the past stays in the past.
“I understand, I think. But I need you to understand that you are not dirty. Nat, you’re fucking beautiful and sweet. I’m sorry for everything that you’ve been through. You shouldn’t have been put through it.” Her face flushes as her hands shake. She’s angry and she’s not hiding it.
“Pen, others have been through far worse.” That’s for sure, I’ve witnessed what others have been put through and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. “We’ve all got scars, some run deeper than others. What separates us is how we deal with those scars, you can move on by hiding them or showing them to the world or you let those scars take over and define you.”
“You’re a wise one, aren’t you Nat? I reckon you and Stef are going to get along.” I frown. Who the hell is Stef? “You’re right, life gives everyone scars, some run deeper than others. I’d say yours run quite deep, though.” She raises her brows in question.
“About as deep as yours run.”
She grins at me. “Touché, okay, you’ll start work in about a month. It’ll give you time to get settled and be recovered properly. I’ll also need to run some tests on you to make sure you’re clean.” She raises her hands as though she thinks I’m going to argue with her. “It’s our policy that all clients and employees are clean. Are you on the pill?”
My face flames.
“No,” I say in a small voice.
“Any contraception?” She asks not judging me at all and I shake my head. “Okay, did your clients at least wrap up?”
I give her a sharp look. “Of course they did.”
“I had to check. Now I’ll move you into another house closer to work when you’re ready, I’m having it renovated at the moment, it’s why I couldn’t bring you there before. Now…”
I cut her off. “How many houses, castles, flats, and businesses do you own?”
She gets an impatient look on her face. “Natalie, it’s rude to interrupt people when they are talking. Now as I was saying, anything you need, you just have to ask. If I can help in any way I will and if I can’t, I’ll find someone who can.”
“Thank you.” I can’t believe she told me off, I’m actually stunned.
“Now, for your question. I have one mansion, three flats, six houses and one business. Do you have any more questions for me?” I shake my head, she’s been more than forthcoming with me tonight. “Okay, so the food should be here any moment and I need to get the movie ready. Have you watched Pitch Perfect before?”
“No, is it good?” It's been advertised a lot, but I’ve never gotten around to going to the cinema.
She grins as the doorbell rings. “Just you wait, that will be the food.”
Chapter 6
Eight Weeks Later
Walking down the steps of my house I smile as the fresh air hits me, it’s not even nine in the morning and the sun is already shining, it’s been eight weeks since the night Pen and I spoke about everything, she stayed until three am that night, we talked about everything and anything. She told me about Annalisa and her ex-husband, she also told me that she’s a domme. I’m a prostitute, who the hell am I to judge anyone on their lifestyle? Pen has been my saving grace, she’s been amazing and been someone that I can talk to if I need to. If this job with her doesn’t work out, I’d never walk away from her, I’d move on and do something different, but Penelope will always be in my life. She’s earnt my love, respect, and most importantly, my trust.
Agreeing to come with Pen over eight weeks ago is one of the best decisions that I made. The best decision I made was running away from home and away from that arsehole. I’ve been working at Midnight Lovers for two weeks now and I’ve already made ten times what I made while working the street corners for three years. Midnight Lovers is a classy business, you have to dress smart yet sexy. I’ve found that the men are actually decent, they talk to you with respect unlike when I was on the street where no one spoke except to tell you what they wanted. The clients are rich beyond rich, they throw money around like it’s nothing. I made five grand the very first night on the job, these clients like to tip and when they tip, they do it massively. Penelope won’t take rent from me, she did set up a bank account for me, and all my money goes in there except for a bit that I use for clothes, food, and bills. For the first time in seven years, I’m actually happy with my life and I feel safe, something I haven’t felt since my mum died. I go to bed at night and fall straight to sleep, the very odd night I’d have a nightmare but they’re few and far between.
Tonight, I’m working with Stefanie, she’s nice enough just extremely nosy. That’s something I hate, I don’t like people sticking their nose into my business, I don’t do it to them, so they really shouldn’t do it to me. Stefanie is the employee that Penelope was talking about when she said she had someone who didn’t sleep with the clients. I actually respect her for not doing it, in a business like Pen’s where the money is beyond amazing, it would be easier to drop your knickers and have sex than not. Stef has rules and she keeps them, that’s something I respect.
So, this evening we have a gala and I have to find a new dress. You can’t go to these events wearing the same dress, thankfully, I make more than enough to pay for them. I’ve given three of my dresses to one of the local charity shops, they resold them for twenty pound, I’m glad that they’ve been able to help raise money for charity. I’ll be dropping a few more off on Monday, I donate to the Barnardo’s shop here in London; they help kids in need, it hits close to home and I’m just grateful that I can donate to help them stay in business. I don’t tend to buy expensive designer dresses, I go to the outlets and find something that’s either last season or slightly damaged. You’d be amazed at how easily fixed they are, and you get them for cheap too.
I need to go to Marylebone, so I can get the train to Bicester Village; they offer up to sixty percent off retail price. They have some really top-quality designers like Alexander McQueen, Ted Baker, Ralph Lauren, and Gucci. It’s going to take me a few hours maybe longer but it’s worth it with the savings I’ll be making. I’ll need to be back here by six so that I can get ready for the gala at eight. I love looking for new dresses, it’s lonely though. I don’t have any friends and it’s times like today when it hits me, how lonely life can be.
Standing in a towel I look at the bedroom door where Stefanie is standing with a smile on her face. Stef’s dressed in a burgundy strapless dress, it’s moulded to her body. Her hair is in curls, and she’s wearing dark red shoes. She called me while I was on my way home from Bicester Village, she asked if I wanted to do dinner and have a few drinks before going to the gala. I couldn’t say no, I didn’t want to offend her. Even though I met her last week, I’m uncomfortable and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m in only a towel.
Her eyes light up when, walking over to the door she gasps. “Where did you get this dress?” Her fingers caress the Oscar de la Renta dress that’s hanging up on my door. “It’s gorgeous.”
Looking at the sleeveless pink and grey dress that I bought today I can’t help but smile. The pink dress that has black flowers originally was meant to cost a little over eighteen hundred pounds, it was reduced down to five eighty because the zip was broken. It was such an easy fix, one that I can do myself. It’s beautiful, elegant, and fits me like a glove.
“I got it at Bicester Village today along with three other dresses.” I can’t help but smile as Stef’s mouth forms an ‘O’, she’s surprised.
“Nat, these dresses, God, they’re expensive. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to own an Oscar de la Renta dress? I can’t justify spending almost two grand on a dress, especially if I’m only going to wear it once.” She crosses her arms over her chest like she’s in defensive mode. “I usually only pay six hundred at most for mine.” I’m pretty sure there’s a dig at me somewhere in there.
“Yeah, I’m the same. It’s why I love going to Bicester Village. You’ll always find a bargain. I got four dresses today for just over a thousand. I went a bit crazy.” I can’t help but smirk as I say it, there’s nothing better than rubbing it in when someone judges you wrongly.
“What other dresses did you buy?” She’s genuinely interested, and I decide to let her have a peek at them because we’ve got to work together and not only that, she seemed nice and Penelope loves her, for that alone I’d be respectful to her.
Opening my wardrobe, I pull out the Goat green floral dress, the Ted Baker oriental blossom dress, and the Karen Millen floral multicolour maxi dress. Each dress I instantly fell in love with as soon as I saw them. When I tried them on, I knew that I had to have them.
Stef gasps again. “Oh God, I’m so bloody jealous. You got these for a grand? But Nat, the De La Renta and that Ted Baker dress cost more than that themselves.”
Smiling brightly, I nod. “God, I love bargains. That Bicester Village is a designer outlet Stef, everything is at least sixty percent off retail prices. Not only that, I sometimes stumble across items that may have holes or busted zips and they’ll be reduced even more. I buy them and fix them myself. It’s easy and so worth it in the end. Saves me spending two grand on a dress.”
“Nat you have to bring me with you the next time you go. I’d be in heaven there. Please can I come the next time?” She’s pleading with me, her eyes like a puppy begging for treats.
“Yeah, we’ll arra
nge a date for the next time I go.” I’m rewarded with a genuine smile. “Right, I best be getting ready otherwise we’re going to be late, help yourself to anything in the kitchen, I shouldn’t be too long.”
“Okay, if you need help just yell.” I nod and grab the dress off of the door and close it after she leaves. I place the dress on the bed and grab some underwear from the drawer to put on. I blow-dry my hair, it’s something that takes time, but I don’t mind because my brown hair always looks smooth and shiny when I do. I’m in two minds whether I should curl or straighten my hair, I get dressed and check the time, I don’t have time to do either to it. My hair’s relatively straight anyway, just a kink here and there. I’m usually a freak and have to straighten it constantly but my hair was severely damaged, so I’ve eased up on doing it.
Twenty minutes later, we’re leaving my house. Opening the door, we’re hit by darkness and a cold blustery breeze, even though it’s cold out there are still loads of people walking around. I grab the jacket that’s hanging up by the front door as Stef waits for me outside. I lock up behind me and pull my jacket on as I’m walking down the stairs, looking up at the sky, I pray it doesn’t rain, I’ve a face full of makeup and the nerves are kicking in. Before when I worked the streets, I didn’t get nervous, all I had to do was have sex with someone. Now though, I have to go on a date and talk to someone, act as though I’m enjoying their company. Sit through stupid dinners and act as though I’m interested in what they’re talking about.
“So where are you from, Penelope hasn’t said much about you. Other than you and I would get along like a house on fire,” she asks as she links her arm through mine.
I immediately tense, God, why is she asking me questions? “I’m from Plymouth, what about you?”
“Oh, I was born and raised in Camden.” She tilts her head to the side as we walk down the street. “Have you ever been to the market there?”
The Scars Of Life (The Working Girls Book 4) Page 5
