by Lynn Howard
Jackson smirked and released a huff that sounded more like a snort. “Yeah,” he said, and stepped away from her.
June rushed through the door, but Carter was long gone, only a cloud of dust floating where he’d peeled out of the parking lot. “Shit,” she ground out and kicked a rock onto the road running between the different businesses.
Gravel crunched as Jackson walked past June. “Great guy. I liked the part where he ran through the door and completely ignored you.” He pulled the car door open and shook his head at June.
“Why are you such an asshole?” she said, the last word coming out in a scream as she balled her hands into fists.
“Hey, I’m not the one who left you standing in the parking lot. At least I came to apologize. I came to tell you I want you back. I want to make things work between us. And you chose that?” he said, gesturing toward the highway. “I meant what I said, June. I miss you. Everything I said before…that was just me lashing out. I didn’t mean it. I think…” He sighed heavily and dropped his head. “I think you’re perfect. You’re perfect for me. I’m ready to make a life with you and have cubs and the white picket fence and all that.”
June had no desire to even entertain that idea. She didn’t love Jackson. She never did. She enjoyed some of the time they’d had together, but for the most part, he’d always made her feel as if she didn’t deserve him, as if he was out of her league.
But not Carter. He was proud to have her by his side. He was attracted to her just the way she was. He wanted her, curves, rolls, and all.
And he’d also just freaked out and left without saying anything to her. She’d told him she would be happy for him to come by her work. Honestly, she wanted to see him. As stupid and juvenile as it sounded, she’d missed him all day. She didn’t even care what that said about her, either.
“Bye, Jackson,” she said, turning her back on him and heading back inside. She needed to call Carter and find out what the hell that was all about. She knew he was going to throw Jackson out. He probably thought June felt cornered. And why wouldn’t he after she’d been a total mess last night. But she couldn’t have her boyfriend fighting at her job. She didn’t want to risk getting fired over something like that. Or worse. One or both men could’ve Shifted or even let their eyes glow with their anger.
June shook her head at Julie when she raised her brows in question. She didn’t want to talk about it. She wasn’t even sure how to talk about it. All she knew was she had to make sure Carter didn’t think June wanted Jackson there. She wasn’t mad at Carter. Had they been at Moe’s, she probably would’ve let Carter throw Jackson out on his ass.
Instead of calling him, she typed out a quick text and shoved the phone back in her pocket. She told him they needed to talk after work, that he’d overreacted, and she’d thrown Jackson out. That was the best she could do until they were face to face.
She struggled to get through the rest of the day. Constantly checking her phone, she cursed Carter for not replying and herself for obsessing. They were two grown adults. They’d work through this, talk through the confusion and they’d be fine.
But, what if…
There was always that niggling sense of self-doubt. It’d been put there by so many people through the years, so many people telling her she wasn’t good enough, wasn’t smart enough, or thin enough, or pretty enough. What if he decided she was more trouble than she was worth? What if that was why he hadn’t replied yet?
She was being stupid. She was building things up in her head, or borrowing trouble as her mom used to say. There was a completely logical reason as to why Carter had taken off so quickly. She knew it. Her leopard, however, was begging her to run off and find him now. She was terrified they’d just lost their mate. And she needed to breed. Again. Nope. Carter and June had already decided to slow things down, and that included constantly screwing.
When quitting time rolled around, she grabbed her purse and came close to knocking a few people over to get to her car. There was a rose under her windshield and a note.
I meant what I said. Let’s try again. Call me.
Love you forever,
Jackson
June threw the rose on the ground and crumpled the note in her hand. That went to her floorboard; just because she was pissed didn’t mean she needed to litter. As much as she wanted to floor it and throw gravel like she’d seen other people do, she didn’t want to risk pinging rocks across everyone’s cars. Pretty sure that would get her in a lot of trouble with her boss. As well as her customers.
So, she eased onto the road and aimed her car for Blackwater territory. When she didn’t find him there, she knew of only one other place to look for him and that was at the Shifter bar where they’d met. It seemed like months ago and days ago at the same time.
****
Carter clutched the beer between his hands as Shawnee brought him and Luke another. Colton was apparently on his way, as well, thanks to either Noah or Shawnee. He was slightly surprised they hadn’t called in their entire group of friends to calm him down.
His jaw ached from clenching his teeth as he fought for control. This wasn’t him. He was the calm one. He was the mature one. Yet, at that moment, he trembled with the urge to Shift, hunt down that Jackson fuck, and bitch slap him. He didn’t even want to kick his ass. He just wanted that prick to feel as small as he’d made June feel all that time.
She’d texted Carter shortly after he’d peeled out of the parking lot. He’d winced when he heard a few pings and wondered if he’d ruined anyone’s paint jobs. Not something he could think about at that moment. All he could think about was getting as far away from humans as possible before his bear burst from his skin and tore into Jackson.
“You want a shot of something stronger?” Shawnee asked. Her knuckles were white as she gripped her tray. He was making her nervous and it just pissed him off all that much more. The last thing he wanted to do was scare anyone, especially a member of his own fucking Clan.
“Jack,” Carter said, glancing up at her and forcing his face into a semblance of a smile. Although he was sure it came across as a sneer or grimace.
Shawnee forced her own smile and nodded, hurrying to the bar. She was whispering to Noah, keeping her voice low enough so Carter wouldn’t hear her. But the way Noah was shaking his head at Carter told him they were definitely talking about him.
Noah said something to his mate, grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels, and carried it to the table, slamming it down in the middle. “Do not get drunk and act a fool in front of my mate,” he grumbled in his gravelly voice before heading back behind the bar.
Hollyn’s eyes were on Carter, but they weren’t judgmental. They were concerned and a little sad. She’d only been with the Clan for less than a year and she’d never seen Carter act this way. Hell. None of them really had. He’d never had a reason to almost lose his shit in front of humans before.
“You going to call her?” Shawnee asked. She resembled the scared, broken woman she’d been when she’d arrived at Blackwater. He much more preferred the meddling, pushy woman she’d become when it came to her new brothers.
“Not yet.” He needed to cool off. The last thing either of them needed was for him to be full of rage. Not to mention every time they argued they ended up naked and sweaty.
Shawnee hovered a few more seconds then walked off to wait on another table. She didn’t need to worry about him. None of them did. Or maybe they did. Fuck if he knew the answer. That’s how it seemed lately, like there were too many questions and not enough answers.
Carter had finished off a quarter of the bottle of whiskey and was feeling the effects by the time Colton arrived. He kissed and loved on his mate before he came over to sit with Carter and Luke.
“Rough day?” he asked, holding up the bottle of Jack and swirling it in Carter’s face.
He just snatched the bottle from Colton’s big paw and tilted it back, taking another huge swig. His thoughts were getting fuzzy but at least the ang
er was dying down. It was more of a low simmer now. Maybe he should’ve stuck around. No. That hadn’t been an option. His bear had been too close to the surface. He hated that that fucker was near his mate. He hated the fear on her face when she watched as he grabbed Jackson by the shoulder and prepared to physically remove him. And he hated the way she’d begged him to stop. But why?
That was what was killing him. He wanted to believe it was because she was at work. That was the logical answer. He knew that. But that other part, the part that he hadn’t even known he’d possessed, taunted him and told him she didn’t feel the same way about him that he did about her. He’d already begun to fall hard for her. He’d already decided he’d do everything he could to keep her in his life.
She, on the other hand, had been appalled when she’d noticed the marks on her shoulder. She’d been heart broken, devastated that that mark might have ruined her chance of finding her true mate.
Well, he was her true mate, dammit. He knew that as much as he knew his own fucking heart. He’d never wanted anyone as badly as he’d wanted her from the moment he’d heard her throaty, sexy-as-sin laugh.
Carter dragged a slightly numb hand through his hair, working through the knots. He needed a haircut. He’d showered before heading to Havanah’s, but had only finger combed his hair in his hurry to get to his woman. It used to be short enough that, just weeks ago, there would’ve been no knots.
“I need a haircut,” he mumbled. Why were his thoughts so all over the place? What the hell had been thinking about before he’d ripped a few strands out of his head.
Oh. June. Right. Shit. Maybe drinking the half the bottle of Jack wasn’t the best idea. No. There was no way he’d drank that much. Luke must’ve been taking some drinks. Carter didn’t overdo it. He never had. Always the responsible one. Always the mature one.
“Blah blah blah,” he said out loud.
“What the fuck is that about?” Luke asked, frowning and twisting his face up at Carter as if he’d lost his marbles.
Well, maybe he had. Maybe it was his turn to become all unpredictable and crazy. His asshole Clan could be the ones to clean up after him for once.
If there was ever a land called Pity Partyville, Carter would officially be the fucking King.
“I’m a fucking mess,” he told Luke who was still staring at him with a scowl.
“No shit,” Luke muttered, ripping the bottle out of Carter’s hand and setting it closer to himself. As if Carter couldn’t just reach across the table and grab it. “What the fuck is going on with you?”
“Me? What about you? You think we haven’t noticed how often you just disappear? Then show up late as fuck? I mean, I guess it’s better than sleeping on Noah’s front porch, but at least you could let us know what’s going on. Is there someone who needs us?”
“What are you? Captain fucking America? We’re not the Avengers? We’re not some military police force. It’s not our job to protect everyone.” That was the most words Carter had heard Luke string together in…shit, years. Since Emory of Big River was attacked when Luke was supposed to be watching over her.
Luke stood so abruptly his chair toppled. Carter reached for the whiskey, but Luke yanked it out of his reach and carried it back to the bar. “Cut that fucker off. He’s had too much. And you better take his fucking keys.” Luke slammed the bottle on the bar top so hard both Hollyn and Shawnee jumped. But at least the glass didn’t break. That meant more whiskey for Carter.
He stood to make his way to retrieve the bottle, but the fucking ground started rocking. Since when was the bar on the water. Sitting sounded much better. He didn’t really need more whiskey. He’d just have Shawnee bring him another beer.
Before he had a chance to wave the redheaded Clan member over, the door opened and a familiar scent hit his nose before he could focus on the person walking in. Ahhh. His mate had finally arrived. Wait. Was she meeting him there? Or was he supposed to meet her somewhere? Dammit. This was why he’d always ended up being the designated driver; he hated losing complete control over his thoughts.
“Hey,” June said as she pulled a chair out and sat across from him.
“Hey yourself,” Carter replied, leaning forward on one arm. He leaned a little too hard and table started to tip.
“Whoa!” June said, righting the table before it could crash to the ground, Carter along with it. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked, her eyes all squinty as she stared at him.
“Not a damn thing.”
“Wow,” she breathed out. “You’re drunk.”
He held his finger and thumb up in front of his face. “Just a little.”
June looked around and sat back with her arms crossed over her chest. Who was she looking for?
“Who are you looking for?”
She turned her attention back to him and her dark brows knitted together. He’d never noticed that her gray eyes became almost a gun metal gray when she was pissed. But why was she pissed? Because he was drunk?
“No one.” She leaned forward and crossed her arms on the table. “I came to talk to you about earlier. But maybe it should wait until later.”
Earlier. She’d come to talk about earlier. What had happened earlier? Oh. That’s right. Her ex had shown up and she’d gotten mad because Carter was going to kick him out. Was that who she was looking for?
Even as he had all these irrational thoughts, his bear was snarling and growling in his head. And Carter realized the bear was growling at Carter, not a threat. Oh well. He was in control, not his bear.
“Apology accepted,” Carter said, leaning back against his chair and looking for Shawnee. Where the hell was his beer? Did he actually ever order another one? He couldn’t remember. He’d meant to right around the time June had shown up.
“Apology accepted?” June said, a confused frown on her face. And then that confusion turned to anger and her gray eyes got darker. Or maybe it was his imagination. Hollyn’s eyes changed with her mood, but she was a Fairy. June wasn’t. So…her eyes couldn’t really change colors.
Dammit. His thoughts were so fucking all over the place.
“Why don’t you call me tomorrow when you’re sober,” June said, raising to stand.
“Where are you going?” Carter asked, standing too quickly and grabbing her arm. Of course, the quick movement made him sway and he almost jerked June right off her feet.
Colton was there so quick it made Carter dizzy and righted June and laid a hand on Carter’s shoulder. “Maybe you should get some water, brother,” Colton said, leaning down to speak low in Carter’s ear.
Colton was right. Carter was a little thirsty. And confused. And honestly, a little nauseous. “Shit,” Carter said, lunging to his feet and weaving the entire way to the bathroom. He burst through a stall, dropped to his knees, and lost his breakfast, lunch, and dinner into the toilet. He was pretty sure he saw a lung in there, too.
“Gross,” Shawnee said from behind him.
“I’ve got him,” June said. Her soft hand was on his back making small circles. She pulled away, and, when she came back, pressed a cool, wet stack of paper towels to his neck. “What the hell is wrong with you, Carter?” she said, but it sounded more like she was talking to herself.
Carter couldn’t speak. Well, he probably could but was worried if he even tried, he’d just barf again. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d drank so much. Probably back in his teen years. He was going to pay for it tomorrow.
“I fucked up,” he grumbled after a few deep breaths. His voice echoed in the toilet. He reached up and flushed the toilet, keeping his eyes closed and holding his breath against the stench.
“I see that,” June said, helping him to his feet.
“Why was Jackson at your work?” At least he had a rational thought through the drunken fog that felt like it’d never go away.
“Is that what this is about? You think I asked him there?” Her voice was accusing and annoyed.
Carter leaned against the wal
l and tried to make the room stop spinning. He tried to focus on June’s face, but there were more than one of her. Not that he minded the thought of having two June’s, but neither of her would stop swimming. He was going to end up puking again.
Swallowing hard, Carter leaned over the sink and splashed cold water on his face, then cupped his hands and used them as a cup. He rinsed his mouth out and spit in the sink.
“I need to go home,” he said, pulling his keys from his pocket.
“Oh, I don’t think so,” June said, plucking the keys from his hand and shoving them deep in her pocket.
“Is that a dare?” he asked. Maybe he could push the nausea away long enough to make love to his mate. He was so crazy about her. But he was mad at her. Wasn’t he? He thought he was but couldn’t remember what the hell he was so pissed about.
Wait. Yes, he did. Jackson. Her ex had been sitting at the bar when he’d shown up and she’d made him stop from kicking his stupid ass out the door.
“Can I have my keys back?” he asked. At least he knew his bear would stay put. He was too drunk to even pretend to understand a word it was saying.
“I don’t think so,” June said, jerking the door open and walking back into the bar.
“Hey!” he called, following her through the door.
She glanced back at him but kept walking.
“June!” he called. “Give me my keys back.”
Why wasn’t she listening? He needed to go to bed and sleep this shit off. Or puke again. One of them. And he couldn’t do that without his fucking keys.
“Carter,” Luke said with warning in his voice.
“What?” he yelled back a little too loud.
Everyone froze and stared at him, June included.
“Here,” Noah said, bringing Carter a cup of coffee. “Sit your ass down. Drink this. And keep your fucking voice down.”
“She has my keys,” Carter said, pointing at June as she stood just behind Noah with her brows pulled low.
He was irritated, but honestly, he still wanted her. Even pissed, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. And she was his. Unless Jackson stole her away. That fucker had her before Carter. And he still had the ability to hurt her feelings. Did that mean she still had feelings for him?
