by Alison Mello
I grab my water and hurry around to wrap my arms around her small form.
“Co-workers giving you a hard time?” I roll my eyes in answer as we take a seat in the middle of the booth, next to a couple who seems to be on a first date.
“Let’s not talk about work. How are you? How’s school?”
Rachel and I have been friends since we were fourteen years old. Her family moved to Illinois in the middle of the school year, and for some odd reason, Rachel decided to befriend the quiet, loner girl.
Her brother, Reid, is two years older than us. He went away to college when he turned twenty and returned this year. He took two years off in between his sophomore and junior year, trying to figure out what he wanted to do. He graduated last year and moved back to Illinois, in an apartment in Naperville.
Rachel followed her brother, going to school out of state right out of high school. She is studying to get her doctorate as a pediatric nurse. She’s back for summer break and I am honestly the happiest I can be.
My life is so different when Rachel is here. When she’s gone, I am alone, and all my confidence seems to evaporate. She has been my strength since day one, and I rely on our friendship every day.
“School is fine. All A’s.” Rachel smirks, her eyes gleaming with happiness.
I went to a local community college for a few years and graduated with my associate. I am now a shift supervisor at Starbucks with no idea of what I want to do with my future.
I see the door open from the corner of my eye and look over to see Reid walk in, his eyes darting around the lobby until he sees Rachel. I nod toward him, causing Rachel to spin in her seat and let out a squeal.
The siblings embrace each other in a bone-crushing hug, causing me to smile down at the table so I’m not eavesdropping on their private moment.
The relationship they have is unlike any other I’ve seen. Brothers and sisters grow up picking on each other and always bickering. But Reid and Rachel were two peas in a pod. They always had each other’s back and always wanted to be with each other. Reid invited Rachel to football parties and never allowed his friends to pick on her.
I remember one time a friend of Reid’s complained about Rachel and I joining in at the drive-in movies. I instinctively shrunk away and wanted to go home, while Rachel took severe offense. Reid quickly righted his friend, saying, “Rachel is always invited. Same with Poppy.”
No one ever second-guessed our company again.
“Hey, Poppy.” I look up to see Reid looking down at me, his bright blue eyes shining with happiness.
Reid and Rachel are the only ones who call me “Poppy.” Everyone else always calls me “Pop” or “Pops.”
It secretly bothers me when people call me nicknames. Poppy is my name. Only my mom can call me “Pop.”
“Hi, Reid,” I whisper, biting my bottom lip as I divert my eyes. I hear him chuckle before he sits down beside me in the booth. He bumps his shoulder against me.
“I never see you anymore. Where have you been?” he asks.
I look around the Starbucks lobby, silently telling him my answer. I am here almost every day for nine hours.
“Well, we need to go to our drive-in, then,” Rachel chimes in. I smile to myself. I have been waiting for this all winter and spring. Drive-ins are some of my best memories as a kid, especially because it’s with these two.
“I can’t. I have to close tonight. I’m off tomorrow, though.” Rachel’s face breaks into a wide smile.
“Excellent. Tomorrow, you’re mine…and then I’ll share you with Reid for the drive-in.” Rachel looks down at her phone when it beeps and her eyes widen. “I have to go see Talen. Reid, keep Poppy company for the duration of her break.” Rachel jumps up and walks over to kiss my cheek. “I love you.”
“Love you,” I whisper, watching as she ruffles Reid’s unusually short blond hair upon passing him as she jogs out of the coffee shop.
Talen is her boyfriend from high school. He was on the football team with Reid, and I’m quite surprised Reid deemed him worthy of his sister. I was sure he would render her single until she was forty.
For as long as I can remember, he has kept boys at arm’s length for not only Rachel, but for me as well. I don’t understand why. Rachel is his sister, I get he’s being protective. But he had no claim on me, no reason to want to protect me. I was just his sister’s best friend.
In fact, I’m sure that at times I annoyed him.
I remember one time, I showed up at Rachel’s house bawling my eyes out because of Diane and something she had said to me. Reid had walked into his sister’s room to see Rachel consoling me, and after Rachel gave him a short synopsis of what happened, I saw Reid’s face turn to stone as he shook his head and left the room without even asking if I was all right.
I didn’t expect him to, we were hardly friends and I was a blubbering teenage girl. But I have always remembered the expression and the feeling of being dismissed.
Reid props his elbow on the table, his side rubbing against me as he rests his chin in the palm of his hand. I peek up at him from the corner of my eye to see him staring at me intently.
I bite my bottom lip and stare down at the table.
With Rachel gone, I don’t even have the courage to start up a conversation. Not even with Reid. All words are lost to me and my mind is scrambling.
I flinch when I feel a gentle finger trace along my hairline, starting at my part and all the way down to where he tucks a few strands behind my ear. “Poppy…” Reid whispers.
I feel him shift closer, causing me to tense when his lips are a mere breath from my ear. “I see you,” he says.
My eyes widen at his words. I look over at him, shaking my head. What does he mean?
Rachel doesn’t even see the true me.
She doesn’t know my past, what I went through when I was young. Even when we were friends, I didn’t tell her about my home life. Everyone looks at me and thinks I’m quiet and soft-spoken. They don’t know that I am, in fact, a shell of a person.
So, what does Reid really see? The soft-spoken girl? Or the broken shell?
I bite my bottom lip again, gnawing on it.
“No. You don’t.” I slide out of the booth and grab my apron, ready to return to work, even if it’s a few minutes early. Reid springs to his feet, a frown marring his features.
“Poppy, wait.” He reaches out to grab my hand, but I step back and put on a small smile.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Reid.” His bright blue eyes dull with a hint of sadness before he nods and returns the smile.
Reid and I never were close, which is why I didn’t understand the blocking of any male contact. He never cared for me, not really. This is the most we’ve spoken without Rachel with us.
I watch as he gives me one last smile before turning and walking out the coffee shop. Once he’s out of sight, I put my apron on and proceed to clean the espresso bars.
***
Rachel’s arm is hooked around mine as we walk through the emptying mall. I let out a sigh and bow my head, avoiding eye contact from anyone who passes us.
“How’s Talen?” I ask. Rachel lets out a soft laugh, shaking her head. I know their long-distance relationship is hard on them as well. They only see each other a few times a year, on breaks and holidays.
But Talen is supportive of Rachel’s dreams and aspirations. He stays here in Illinois, working at the local gym as a physical trainer, and waits patiently for Rachel to return.
“He’s good. He’s…he’s the one, Poppy.” I don’t stop the smile that makes its appearance. Nothing makes me happier than seeing Rachel truly joyous. She loves Talen so much, and her declaring that he’s the one….best news I could receive right now.
“I’m glad, Rach. I’m really glad.” I lift a cup of hot mint tea, from the Starbucks inside the mall, to my lips and sip carefully. Tea is soothing, it always relaxes me.
Rachel unhooks her arm and switches her shopping bags to her other hand
so she can run her fingers through her long hair. She ruffles it, creating body and flow.
“Reid is acting weird,” Rachel says suddenly. I look over at her, my eyebrows furrowed with confusion. Rachel stops, grabbing my forearm to stop me as well. I turn my body so my full attention is on her.
How is Reid acting weird? He’s Reid…he’s always weird.
“He’s never had a girlfriend,” Rachel says. I lift my tea to take another small sip. “I think he’s gay.” I spew the hot liquid out of my mouth, almost choking on it. Rachel giggles, pounding on my back.
“He’s not gay, Rach. Remember, he had that fling with Keri,” I point out, shaking my head. There was no way. Reid was the straightest man I knew.
He doesn’t flirt around and thrive under women’s attention, however he oozes masculinity. He has had a few short relationships…
But Rachel is right.
I have never been formally introduced to any girlfriend.
“Okay. Right. Then why is he single? I mean, he’s good-looking, right? You think he’s good-looking, don’t you?” Rachel rambles, her concern for her brother apparent as her eyebrows crease in worry.
I honestly love their relationship.
Reid…attractive? Of course he is. Even the blind could tell just by hearing his voice and touching his face. Reid is near perfection. His selflessness is the cherry on top of the sundae.
Why is he single?
“Reid isn’t the one to just date, Rach. And neither were you. Talen is your first serious relationship and he’s the one for you. You waited for him. Reid is doing the same thing.”
It’s a total guess that sounded good in my head. I’m sure this excuse will sound good to Rachel as well. It’s what she needs to hear, even if it isn’t the truth. She needs to take a deep breath and trust that Reid is doing what is best for himself.
Rachel nods. “Come on. Reid will be waiting.”
***
“Poppy, get up here.” I climb into the bed of the truck, crawling over the bedding of blankets until I am pressed in between Reid and Rachel.
Rachel quickly drops her head on my shoulder and watches as advertisements play on the screen as we wait for the sky to darken.
Reid struggles to get comfortable beside me, situating and re-situating himself. I finally lift so he can move his arm and drape it around my shoulder, his hand gently touching the top of my left arm. I look over at him, trying to ignore the feeling in my stomach.
We’ve done this every time we go to the drive-in. There is nothing behind his touch.
I try to convince myself, but I can’t deny the feeling of excitement.
But why?
Why do I care if Reid touches me? I never used to before…
“I see you.”
It’s because he sees me.
Chapter 2
Determination
Reid
May 12, 2016
“I see you.”
What am I doing? I retract my hand from behind her ear, silently cursing myself for going too far. I see Poppy’s eyes widen as she looks at me, confusion and fear swarming in her beautiful hazel eyes.
She doubts me.
Oh, Poppy…I’ve seen you since November 3rd, 2008.
“No. You don’t.” I flinch at her confident tone as she slides out of the booth, gathering her apron and water. Watching her, dread fills me as I face the fact that I might have overstepped my bounds.
I jump to my feet. “Poppy, wait,” I plead, desperate to fix this. I reach out a hand to try and stop her from walking away, but she manages to avoid my grasp.
A small smile adorns her face, however I can see through her façade. She is retreating away from me and back into her shell. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Reid.”
A morsel of relief fills me. I’ll see her tomorrow.
I smile back at her, nodding my head. Poppy watches as I turn and exit the coffee shop, heading straight toward my dark blue Ford F-250. I let out a growl of irritation before I kick the front left rubber tire.
Sliding into my car, I run a hand through my hair, pulling at it.
Ever since that day, back in 2008, there was no one else. I saw her, sitting beside Rachel, and I knew that she was it for me.
I walk through the hall of the overcrowded school of Waubonsie Valley, heading toward the cafeteria. I follow Trent, a running back for the football team, as he gives me a poor tour of the school.
Trent is in my first-hour class, and after the topic of football was brought up, he silently deemed us friends and took up the job of giving me the lay of the land. He has been ranting on about football tryouts and the likelihood of me getting the position of first string quarterback…apparently it’s not looking too great.
Once we reach the cafeteria, I look around for Rachel.
Rachel is finally a freshman, which means I can keep a watchful eye on her. The two years of separation were pure torture, not knowing if people were picking on her in school or if stupid lowlifes were hitting on her.
Being a junior and her brother, I will ensure she is well protected. It always has been and always will be my job.
I spot her at a table off in the corner, sitting next to a brunette, whose head is bowed. Rachel is talking her mouth off, surely annoying the poor girl. I dismiss Trent, walking toward my sister, backpack slung over one shoulder.
Rachel meets my eyes, a smile breaking across her face. “Reid! Hey, how’s the first day?” she asks, tossing a green grape in her mouth. I shrug my shoulders, dropping my bag on the table so I can take up the seat next to my sister.
I notice the shy girl flinch at the loud thump of the bag hitting the table and murmur an apology. “Oh, Reid. This is Poppy. Poppy, this is Reid.”
Poppy. What an odd name. Unique and beautiful…but odd.
“Hey,” I say, waiting for her to lift her head so I can see who I am being introduced to.
When she finally does, her curtain of hair falls away from her face to reveal large hazel eyes that hold anxiety and apprehension. Her pink lips are chapped, however she instinctively moistens them, running her tongue over the bottom and rubbing the lips together. I furrow my brows as she stares at me.
She’s scared. And it’s rubbing me the wrong way.
“Hi. I’m Reid.” I mentally scold myself for introducing myself again, after Rachel already had.
“Hi.” Her voice is throaty yet soft. Music to my ears. I smile at her, nodding my head. Poppy bows her head again and I notice she’s drawing something on her notepad.
I can’t help but wonder if she is artistic, or if she draws for the fun of it.
“Holt. What are you doing over here with the loner?” Trent asks, approaching the table. Rachel quickly turns on him, rising to her feet. I grab her arm, keeping her from doing something stupid.
Grinding my teeth, I look over my shoulder at Trent, keeping a firm grip on my sister. “I’m going to sit with Rachel and Poppy today, Trent. I’ll see you tomorrow in English.”
I clench my fists together as I open the door of my car and walk toward my apartment complex. Even to this day, just remembering the way Trent spoke of her makes me livid.
I didn’t even know Poppy; perhaps it was because she was Rachel’s friend, but I had to defend her. It was second nature, just as I would have stood up for Rachel.
But now, Rachel has nothing to do with it. Over the years, I have watched Poppy speak and interact only with Rachel, and exclusively with me. I have fallen in love with her smile, for it is private and sacred. I have fallen in love with her gentle laugh that comes from deep within her.
I had fallen for Poppy many years ago and have decided recently that I am no longer going to stand by the sidelines and wait for her to see me the way I see her.
I need her to understand the way I feel. That all this time, she has been the only one for me.
Going up to my bedroom, I change out of my clothes until I’m dressed only in my boxer briefs. I lie in bed, glancing at the clock to see
that it’s now nine o’clock and that Poppy is closing down shop.
A small smile on my lips, I close my eyes and do what I’ve done since freshman year of college.
I pray for Poppy.
***
I hear the soft breathing coming from Poppy’s nose, the telltale sound that signifies she’s asleep. I tilt my head, seeing that Rachel is still watching the movie intently, her head on Poppy’s lap. Poppy is deeply asleep on my shoulder, her cool nose pressed against my neck.
I wrap the blanket tightly around her, rubbing my hand up and down her arm.
Captain America: Civil War plays on the screen, however I’ve tuned it out for the most part, not able to pay attention when the woman of my dreams is pressed warmly to my side.
Poppy subconsciously seeks comfort from me, knowing deep down that I will keep her warm and safe. When she’s awake, it’s a different story. She can hardly maintain eye contact with me or even hold a conversation.
I wish more than anything that I knew her past. I wish I understood what she went through as a child that made her so fragile and skittish. I used to lie awake, envisioning her getting physically abused at home, and it would cause me to grind my teeth.
Poppy never came to school with scars, cuts, or bruises. She never wore baggy clothes that would cover them up, either.
So it must be verbal and mental abuse.
That’s what I concluded my senior year of high school. I was irate that I had to leave high school and leave Rachel and her alone for the next two years. But Rachel was a mother hen when it came to Poppy. She was able to look after her when I wasn’t.
A loud explosion blasts from the screen, causing Poppy to jerk awake and lift herself out of my embrace. I watch her, seeing embarrassment flush her cheek as she wraps the blanket around her shoulders and situates herself beside me, instead of on me.
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling at her.
“You can go back to sleep, Poppy. I don’t mind,” I whisper in her ear, making sure Rachel doesn’t hear.
