I’d rushed home from work as fast as I could, but that’d still left Vlad alone with Murphy who couldn’t do anything for a good solid hour.
Luckily, Vlad was a good baby and chose to comply with his best friend instead of making it harder on him.
Murphy touched my arm, and I frowned.
Only half the soup had been consumed.
“You’re sure?” I asked.
He nodded. “Sure.”
I sat the soup down with a slightly shaking hand, and then went to my food as the man beside me got more comfortable on the couch.
I was half-finished with mine before Vlad woke up and wanted his own.
I fed him completely before I went back to my now-cold dinner.
“I love you.”
I smiled at Murphy over my shoulder. “I love you, too.”
His eyes took me in for a few long seconds before he said, “When I’m gone, I want you to know this. Vlad loves you, too. He may not show it in the best way, but in the beginning, I didn’t either. Okay?”
That lead ball had yet another weight added to it.
Murphy didn’t shy away from the ‘when I’m gone’ comments anymore.
We both knew he was going to be gone soon.
It was inevitable when you focused on his decline.
But that didn’t mean that I wanted to admit it.
“Okay.”
That ‘okay’ cost me.
He knew it, too.
When he brought me into his arms by tugging lightly on my hair, I could barely hold in the sobs.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. “One day, you’re going to look back and smile. You can cry for now, though. I have my crying shirt on.”
I snorted.
Then proceeded to cry into his ‘crying shirt.’
Funny thing was, all of them seemed to be crying shirts lately.
CHAPTER 18
I wish I could outsource my exercise.
-Text from Mavis to Murphy
MAVIS
“Can you take me to see the dogs one more time?” he asked.
No.
No I would not fucking take him to see the dogs one more time.
“I’ll take you to see them, but it won’t be for the last time,” I grumbled darkly.
Murphy smiled at me sweetly. “Thank you.”
He knew better than to argue.
Both of us could think it, but neither of us could say it.
At least, that was my motto.
He was very, very understanding of his last moments on this Earth. As in, he was well aware of how much longer he had, how difficult his leaving would be to others, and what him no longer being here would mean to us.
Especially after today.
“I’m ready.”
When I closed my eyes and listened to Murphy’s voice, I could pretend that he wasn’t sick.
Because his voice, despite the heavy breathing, still sounded strong and vibrant.
Still had the ability to send shivers down my spine and make tingles inside of my heart burst to light.
I reluctantly opened my eyes and stared into the bright eyes of the man that I loved.
It was hard to see my dark, beautiful Italian man go from the great big gentle giant that he used to be, to the one that could barely get in and out of a wheelchair without needing a very long rest break.
Like then.
I smiled and waited patiently as we got him in and out of the wheelchair and he caught his breath.
“The lawyer give you a call back yet?” I questioned him as he drew in deep, steadying breaths.
He nodded. “This morning while you were in the shower.”
I looked away.
I knew exactly why he’d done it when he’d done it.
He hadn’t wanted me to hear.
But I knew.
He’d left Vlad and me everything.
I’m talking, every single penny he had.
It all went to us.
I’d overheard him talking on the phone when I’d gotten out because I’d forgotten to bring in my toothbrush. He’d been telling them, with his mother’s help, that he wanted to make sure that it was as easy as possible when he was gone.
He’d even contemplated marriage so I could get away with not having to pay taxes on it a second time.
Something in which he planned on asking me tonight.
Something in which I would give him, because I knew it would make him very happy.
For a few days, Mavis Pope would finally become Mrs. Alessio Murphy Romano.
And if it would make him happy to give me that, then I would gladly take it.
I would take it into my hands, clamp my grip around it, and never let go of it.
And when Murphy was gone, and all I had left of him was my last name, then I would hold that little spark of happiness he’d given me and cherish it until I, myself, took my last dying breath.
“Ready, ready,” Murphy finally said.
I moved the oxygen bottle into his lap, then started gesturing for him to roll his scooter—something he really freakin’ hated—up the length of his bumpy and uneven driveway.
When we got to the front door, I took the keys out of my purse and unlocked the multitude of locks. Just as I was swinging the door open wide and flicking on the lights, my phone rang. “Can you get back there by yourself while I answer this?”
He jerked up his head in confirmation and I smiled at him before blowing him a kiss.
Pulling the phone out of my front pocket, I pressed the green phone icon on the front screen and pressed it to my ear.
“Hello?”
I usually didn’t answer anybody’s phone number I didn’t know, but with Murphy with me all the time now, I tended to answer a whole lot more than I wanted.
The lawyer.
The doctor, checking on him.
The home health nurse.
The funeral home.
That one had come as a shock.
It’d been a phone call that I’d also taken this morning.
When I’d answered, at first, I was confused when they introduced themselves as the funeral director for Bayou Funeral Homes. But then when they explained how Murphy had called them to set up his funeral…
“This is Jeremiah Flannagan,” a deep, low voice said into my ear, breaking me from my thoughts. “You called?”
A fuckin’ week ago.
“Yes,” I said, breaking into a sigh. “My name is Mavis. I’m…” Dating? Seeing? About to marry? “Alessio Murphy Romano is your neighbor? We’re actually here now doing a few final things but…”
“Oh, gotcha. He talked about you.” He paused. “I’ll come outside.”
Before I had a chance to say much more than that, he was hanging up on me, leaving me so abruptly that I wondered if I should have tried to stop him.
But then I saw the big bull of a man charging around the corner that separated Murphy’s shop from his, and he made me blink in surprise.
Jeremiah Flannagan was a hot, sexy older man that clearly worked out.
He was also a rather pissed off looking man that had a glare that could flay the skin from my bones if he only wanted to try.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I held out my hand.
He looked at me suspiciously, but ultimately held his hand out for me to shake.
“Murphy around?” he asked, sounding miffed.
I would’ve originally said yes, but Murphy had gotten kind of hermit-like lately. He didn’t want anyone to see him suffering.
Which was why half the gym had been turned away over the last week by me.
He just…didn’t have the energy to make them feel better about him dying.
“Um, no. Actually, he’s busy with something.” I paused. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for a week now.”
Him not answering had meant that his mom and I just had one more thing to add to our ever-growing list of things we needed to do.
And, not saying that
I didn’t love Murphy’s dogs, because they were sweet, but I would rather be spending that time with Murphy. Not spending thirty minutes driving into town while I could’ve been spending it with him.
“I’ve been kind of hard to get a hold of lately,” he admitted. “Had a bad break up with my ex-wife. Been sorting that shit out for quite a long time. Dealing with my fuckin’ daughter hating my guts for something I didn’t do…they look a lot like you. I’m sorry for being a dick.” He winced. “Got like, eight hours of sleep in the past twelve days thanks to that fuckin’ storm up in Arkansas.” He shook his head. “I’m the VP for Ally Power, and we sent like thirty trucks up there, and I went with them. Just got home to your message about feedin’ the dogs and it just…fuck. I’m tired.”
I smiled, but it didn’t meet my eyes. “It’s okay. As for why Murphy can’t come…” I hesitated. “Murphy is dying. He is in end-stage heart failure, and tomorrow we’re starting him on hospice care. End of life care.”
Jeremiah looked stunned for a long second, then his mouth fell open. “What?”
I rubbed at the gaping hole in my chest.
I looked down, once again expecting to see something sticking out of it—like a knife or a mace—but finding nothing that showed the trauma and pain I felt on the inside.
“I wish that was a joke but…it’s not. Murphy is dying. They are giving him about two weeks tops left to live. The only reason he’s still alive this long is…he’s stubborn.”
• • •
“So where to now?” I asked cheekily.
Murphy gave me a smile. “You guessed?”
I shook my head. “I heard. I got out of the shower for my toothbrush and heard you speaking with your lawyer about me marrying you.”
Fifteen minutes later, we pulled into the parking lot of the county judge.
Five minutes later, I was staring at a man that was marrying me. In the van that he absolutely hated.
Eight minutes later, Murphy was asleep, exhausted from the day, and I was the brand new owner of a two-carat princess cut diamond ring.
That night, I lay next to my husband and cried.
CHAPTER 19
I’m going to stand outside so if anyone asks, I’m outstanding.
-Mavis to Murphy
MAVIS
“Hello?”
I answered the phone before it’d even had a chance to ring a full rotation.
Like always over the last few weeks, I’d hoped and prayed that each time the phone rang, that I would answer it and find out that a heart had been found for Murphy.
Yet, each time I answered, it never happened.
I glanced at the man that was lying on the pillow next to me and found him wide awake.
His eyes were heavy, dark bags were underneath of his eyes, indicating he’d been awake. Likely for a while.
Shit.
I’d gone to sleep thinking he was asleep himself.
Had he been faking?
“Ms. Pope?”
I sat up and wiped the sleep from my eyes. “That’s me,” I croaked.
“This is Jeremiah Flannagan.” He paused. “The bakery owner that has a shop next to your husband. We spoke yesterday.”
I closed my eyes.
Murphy was my husband. How had he known?
“Hey,” I whispered softly, not wanting to interrupt the hospice nurse and Murphy.
“Yeah,” he croaked. “I just wanted to call you and tell you that the dogs…one of them perished during the night, and the other one isn’t looking too good.”
I felt myself stiffen. “What?”
“I don’t think this other one is going to make it, ma’am,” he whispered.
I closed my eyes as something close to devastation, utter and complete depletion of feeling, washed over me.
We started Murphy on hospice care today. They were supposed to be here at eight in the morning. I glanced at the clock and saw it was close to seven thirty.
When the nurse had arrived early, I’d wanted to close the door in her face.
“I’ll come after eight…” I hesitated. “Is that okay?”
He knew why I was waiting until eight.
Yesterday, when I’d met him, he’d told me that he would watch them. Take care of them.
And I’d thanked him and told him that if he ever needed me, I would be more than happy to come after eight, because that was when I knew for sure that Murphy would have someone here to help him if he needed it.
Then again, between his mom and me, we were always there.
This morning, the hospice nurse hadn’t been the only one to show up. It was more than obvious that when Guilia arrived this morning, she wasn’t the only one that didn’t want to leave.
I invited her in and set her up in Vlad’s bedroom since it was the only one with the extra bed.
Vlad would be happy.
Now, we were both watching miserably while the nurse did her thing with the man that we loved with all of our hearts.
“Don’t,” he said softly. “I’ll take care of them.”
I closed my eyes. “I’m…I’m sorry.”
That’s when my voice broke, and he started to murmur to me softly, “I’ll take care of everything down here, babe. Don’t worry.”
Like a punch to the gut.
Repeatedly.
The blows just kept coming.
My sister had sent me a text telling me that Vlad’s father was in town, but I seriously couldn’t care less.
I wasn’t leaving the house any time soon, so why would I care if he was here?
“If you need anything, let me know,” he murmured.
As we said our goodbyes, I was once again left staring at the nurse in front of us.
I hated her.
Literally, I hated her.
I hated what she represented.
I hated that she had her hands on my man.
I hated that Murphy was laughing softly.
I just…hated her.
Murphy, upon sensing me done with my phone conversation, held out his hand for me.
I swallowed hard past a lump in my throat and walked toward him.
Guilia snickered as I passed, and I shot her a ‘watch it’ glare.
She looked away with a smirk on her face, her eyes going to Vlad who was busy playing with the nurse’s stethoscope.
She really was nice.
I wouldn’t have given my stethoscope to him.
Apparently, though, it was one she had for backup. And one her own child played with from time to time.
At least, that was what she said, anyway.
When I got there, Murphy’s hand came out to me. The hand that now had the IV in it.
“Everything okay?” he asked quietly.
I smoothed my hand into his and squeezed lightly.
He squeezed back, and I felt like fucking crying.
Because I knew he’d given it all he had.
“Yeah,” I lied through my teeth. “Everything is fine. That was Jeremiah. Just checking in.”
Murphy may be dying, his body failing him one organ by one organ, but his brain was still sharp as a tack.
He didn’t call me on my lie, though.
Not until the nurse left after giving him some meds to help.
“What happened?” he asked again the moment the door closed behind her.
I sighed and pressed my forehead into his thigh.
“I don’t want to tell you,” I admitted.
I felt his fingers sift through my hair, and I groaned and pressed a little deeper between his legs.
He was in the recliner propped up with some pillows.
I was on the ground after just slipping his feet into some warm socks.
Except, I hadn’t realized how comfortable I was.
How tired.
How…
I fell asleep right there and wasn’t woken up for an hour.
Not until the cramping in my leg forced me to move, and I realized what I’d done.
Lifting my head slowly, I looked up at Murphy who was staring down at me.
He had tears coursing down his face.
I was on my feet in an instant, my eyes wild, as I took everything in.
“Are you okay?” I asked. “I’m so sorry I fell asleep.”
He held his hand out to me, and I reluctantly crawled in his lap, being sure to put the majority of my weight toward the side so I wouldn’t hinder his breathing any more than it already was.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated again.
He pressed his forehead against mine before saying, “I don’t want to leave you.”
A sound, one similar to a wounded bear, left me.
“Alessio…” I whispered. “Don’t.”
“I don’t want to leave you,” he repeated. “I want to grow old with you. I want to have five babies with you. I want to have them all running around us while Vlad chases them in our fully restored house. I want to go on vacation with you to Disney World and experience all the chaos it brings with it. I want to go to CrossFit forever and watch your ass in your leggings as you accomplish your goals. I want to bring you food at work and spend your lunch hour with you. I want to buy you an American-made car.”
Tears, hot and heavy, were running down my face as I pressed my cheek to his. Our tears mingled.
“I wish I’d never spent the last few years ignoring you. I wish I’d had more time,” he gasped.
“I want more time,” I told him, whispering it so softly. “But in the last few months, you’ve given me everything that I ever wanted. I’ve never been so happy in my life.” I paused. “And even though you’re leaving me way too early, I know that you’ll always be there, influencing every single decision I make. And I promise, Murphy. I’ll buy an American car next time.”
He laughed, which caused him to start coughing.
But the smile on his face made it worth it.
Dinner that night was between Guilia, Vlad and me.
We all sat at the table, but Vlad was the only one to make noise as he happily ate the chicken and rice that Guilia had made for dinner.
“Do you think…do you think…” Guilia cleared her throat.
“Do I think it’ll be soon?” I asked quietly.
Though we weren’t in the same room as Murphy, he could still hear most of our conversation if he wanted to.
“Yes,” she whispered, her hands shaking as she brought another forkful of rice to her mouth.
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