“Yes.” I jerked my head up, narrowing my eyes at him as I straightened out my shirt and snapped my hair into a fresh ponytail using the band it had been in before. “That’s exactly what I’m doing. You might think she doesn’t control you, but you’re living in her house. You’re working in a company she might as well run. You came home, left the Air Force, because she called. You took another woman out on a date and let her kiss you because she put you in a corner.”
I grabbed my car keys from the counter and pointed toward the door. “Now I need you to leave because I might not know how to feel, and I might not know what I’m going to do, or how I’m going to raise a child by myself, but I do know that I’m done letting her make me feel like shit.”
Tristin glared at me, his chest heaving as he stood there looking like he didn’t know whether to kiss me or spank me, but then he did as I asked. He stormed out of my bedroom without another word, and I heard the clatter of the key I’d given him on the glass table at the front door before it slammed behind him.
A fresh round of sobs burst out of me, an emptiness like I’d never known before setting in. By the time I got to Shelley’s a couple of hours later, I’d finally managed to stop crying, but I still felt just this side of dead inside.
Shelley hugged me again, then made me a cup of coffee and led me to her backyard where Lou and her nephew, Damon, were catching fireflies. We sat down, and she reached over to squeeze my arm. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” I said, wrapping my hands around the steaming cup and watching the steam skitter across the surface in the light breeze. “Wait, let me correct that. I want to talk about it, but I don’t know how. There’s nothing to say except that it was stupid to have gotten involved with him again.”
“It wasn’t stupid,” she replied gently. “You’ve loved that man almost your whole life. Giving love a chance can never be stupid.”
“It was in my case.” I sighed and glanced up at the stars above, then felt a searing pain in my heart when I remembered what Tristin had said about them on that yacht. “In all the years we’ve been apart, nothing has really changed. Not anything that matters, anyway. His life and his destiny are still his life and his destiny. It’s all been mapped out for him since before he was even conceived.”
“That doesn’t seem fair, though.” She lifted her cup to her mouth, taking a small sip as she stared off into the middle distance. “I know it’s not what you want to hear, but did you give him a chance to explain? Was he cheating on you? Because I can’t help feeling that he’d never do that. Not after everything you guys have been through.”
“The way he tells it, he didn’t cheat on me,” I admitted. “Truth be told, I even believe him, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is the same as what has always mattered. I’m not the girl who ought to be at Tristin Ramsey’s side, and I’m never going to be.”
Her face scrunched up. “That can’t be right. Where is this coming from? Who decided that you shouldn’t be at his side because it sure as hell doesn’t seem to have been him?”
“His mother.” My heart constricted when I thought about Selena winning again. “Before you tell me that he’s a grown man and that I shouldn’t care about what she thinks, it’s not like that with them. Those powerful families don’t work the same way we do, and his dad is sick. So there’s that.”
She didn’t respond immediately, but I could see she didn’t quite agree with what I’d said. The fact of the matter was that I didn’t even know if I agreed with me, so I couldn’t blame her for feeling the same way.
What I did know was that I wouldn’t let that poisonous woman anywhere near Lou. Not when she always seemed to come up with a way to stomp on me so effectively. If the press got wind of Tristin’s involvement with him and Selena managed to spin the story the way she always did… Yeah. No.
I couldn’t let that happen to him any more than I could allow it to happen to myself any longer. It simply wasn’t an option.
“Are you sure you don’t want him to sleep over tonight?” Shelley asked, nodding toward Lou and Damon. “They’re getting along really well. He’d be fine with us.”
“I know he would be, but I’d feel better if he was at home with me,” I said. “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t want to be alone tonight, and I don’t want him to be either. I need to explain about Tristin. He’ll be expecting him to come over later or tomorrow, and I’d rather he not feel like I’ve been hiding things from him.”
It was a conversation I was dreading, but it needed to take place. The most important thing would be making sure Lou knew it wasn’t his fault that we hadn’t worked out, but I was new at this, and I had no idea what to say to make him believe me.
But I had to figure it out—by myself—because that was how I would be from now on. And that? That freaking sucked.
35
TRISTIN
As I raced away from Brittany’s house, I realized I had reached the final straw with my mother. All this time, and she was the one responsible for every bad thing I’d ever believed about myself and about Brittany.
She’d single-handedly broken up the only relationship I’d ever cared about not once, but twice. What was even worse was that she’d done it without ever saying a word about Brittany to me. She hadn’t come at me with any of the shit she’d said to my eighteen-year-old girlfriend but had chosen backhanded intimidation, manipulation, and bullying tactics instead.
When I got home, I was itching for a fight. A fight I’d known was coming—at least in some respects—but had been putting off for my father’s benefit.
But just like my newly minted ex-girlfriend, who would always be the love of my life, I was done now. Selena had gone too far. She’d gone too far in ways and by using methods I could never condone.
I’d taken a lot of shit from her, but I wouldn’t take this. Her obsession with controlling me and trying to force me into her mold had cost me everything, but that was my own fault.
From the minute I’d stepped off that plane when I’d gotten back, I should’ve made things very clear to her. I’d thought I had, but I’d also known she was ignoring me for the large part, and I hadn’t acted on it.
In the name of peace and the avoidance of any discord in our household, I’d let her walk all over me while telling myself I wasn’t exactly letting that happen.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized Brittany was right. For all my protests about my mother not controlling me, that was what had been happening. For a lot longer than I’d even realized.
She hadn’t meant for me to join the Air Force after Brittany had broken up with me, I knew that much, but she was still the reason for the breakup, and she’d gotten what she wanted after all. Sure, I’d come back because of what had happened to my father, but I was working in the company just like she’d always meant for me to.
When I really thought about it, it was all the stuff I’d known for a long time but seen from an entirely different point of view. And I’d tell everyone who would listen that seeing things from this point of view made me look and feel terrible.
Everything I’d done made me look fucking weak from where I was sitting right now, and just because I’d been completely oblivious while convincing myself that I was being strong, and noble, and doing things my own way, didn’t make it true.
While I was tilting my own world on its axis by looking at things from her point of view, I was also still reeling over Brittany’s revelations. I couldn’t believe she’d kept everything from me for all this time, but I wasn’t even pissed off that she had. Not really.
Sure, I’d have loved to have had a fucking choice in the matter, but I understood why she’d done what she had. I didn’t think there was any teenage girl anywhere who would’ve gone against my mother’s wishes on this. Especially not since the way she’d made it seem was that if said girl didn’t go along with her wishes, I’d only end up resenting her anyway.
The picture she’d painted to Brittany
was a lose-lose, and it fucking killed me to know that she still believed it—to this fucking day, she believed that shit my mother had planted in her brain. About me. About herself.
It was no wonder she’d reacted like she had about the party and about being in a sundress when everyone else had been dressed up in couture. It didn’t surprise me that she’d taken off, not knowing what I knew now. In fact, it surprised me and humbled me at the same time that she’d agreed to go with me at all.
Then there was the fact that I’d left her alone with my mother just after we’d arrived. My stomach rolled when I thought about what Selena had said to Brittany when she hadn’t even been in the room for two minutes yet, and then it made me admire her even more that she’d stayed after that at all.
She was so strong, so much stronger than even I had given her credit for, and yet my family had beaten her down. Made her believe she was worthless and that she didn’t belong.
I was also disgusted that my own mother was behind the “love triangle” story in the press. It was sick that she would drag Faye into something like this, even if I was rather sure that Faye hadn’t felt the same way. Hell, she might even have volunteered, but my mother should’ve known better. Especially since she’d known what she’d done to get rid of Brittany the first time around.
Both women were being portrayed by the media as ignorant and naïve. I could’ve lived with being the playboy billionaire because that was, in fact, me in both of those photographs. What I couldn’t live with was my mother having put me there. Having put two innocent women there like chum for the sharks to feed on.
What the fuck had she been thinking? I knew she wanted our family to stay relevant, whatever that even meant, but this was just ridiculous. By the time I slammed on my brakes, tires squealing as I came to a stop at the end of our driveway, I’d made up my mind.
I was done playing her games. Done being made to look weak in the eyes of the woman I loved. Done being manipulated. God, she didn’t even know that it wasn’t just Brittany I’d lost this time around. It was a little boy who had gotten under my skin, who had stolen my heart and made me want to give him the world.
My parents were in the dining room when I walked in, ready to confront my mother. I turned to my father first, and his head jerked at whatever expression was on my face. “Is everything okay, son?”
“No. I strongly suggest you leave to let me speak to Selena alone, but this is your house, and your company is among the things that will be affected by what I’m about to say. So it’s up to you.”
“I’ll stay.” He drew himself up to his full height in his seat, looking more like himself than I’d seen since I’d gotten back. “What is the meaning of all this? What’s going on with the company?”
“Nothing yet. Everything is well in hand and on track,” I said to him before gripping the back of a chair as I turned my gaze to my mother. “Brittany has left me again, thanks to your little stunt in the press.”
Her blonde eyebrows rose, but she gave her hand a dismissive wave. “That girl isn’t what you need anyhow. Faye is.”
“You’re wrong, as is what you did back when we were in high school. Really, Mother? I can’t believe you stooped to that level.”
“I didn’t do a thing.” She scoffed, but she wouldn’t quite meet my eyes. “Whatever Brittany has told you is a lie.”
“Oh? So you didn’t go to her house and talk her into leaving me? You didn’t tell her that she didn’t fit into our world and never would? You didn’t tell her that she would only be holding me back and that I would grow to resent her for it?”
With every accusation that rolled off my tongue, I watched her closely. She might’ve denied having done anything, but the truth was right there on her face, in the tiny flinches and the way she had grown pale as my father’s eyes narrowed into slits when he looked at her.
“I was only doing what was best for you and for the family,” she admitted, raising her chin in defiance as she finally met my gaze again. “You were a child. Just like you’re acting like one right now. Someone had to intervene, to guard and secure your future when all you cared about was some poor little girl with absolutely no proper breeding.”
Seething as I tightened my grip on the chair, I wondered if she knew that she’d just cemented my decision. “All you’ve ever cared about is the company. You let Dad work himself into the ground for it with zero regard for his life, and now you’re trying to control me too, but I’m not going to take it.”
I let go of the chair to avoid cracking it in half from how hard I was gripping it, lifting my hands as I took a step back. “You can find someone else to run your precious company if this is what you’re going to do. I won’t stand for it.”
“You wouldn’t.” She let out a disbelieving laugh, then glanced at my dad before leveling a glare at me. “You would be walking away from a fortune, and what would you do without your expensive dinghy toy of a car or access to the family’s yacht? For your sake, we’re going to forget all about this tantrum, and we won’t cut you off.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “I’m happy to walk away from it all, actually. If it means I can live my own damn life, I really don’t mind being just a regular guy. I’ve got enough money of my own, and even if you wanted to, there’s not a thing you can do to take control of the trust fund Grandfather left for me. I’d be able to live comfortably for the rest of my life even if I never work again, but that won’t happen because I’m not you. I’d never be satisfied to sit back and spend money without having done anything to earn a cent of it.”
Her head reared back like I’d slapped her, but before she could say anything else, I marched out of the room. Once I was upstairs, I packed my bags and left with only the clothes I’d come here with. I left everything else behind.
Obviously, I wouldn’t leave the company quite as dramatically as I was leaving the house. Contrary to what my mother clearly believed, I was capable of managing my own life, and I was equally capable of heading up the company that had been left to me. If I just didn’t show up for work or resigned with immediate effect, I was jeopardizing my grandfather’s and my father’s life’s work. I would never do that.
While American Aviation really did run in my veins, I would leave it behind if that was what it took to escape her reach. I just wouldn’t do it in a way that might cost thousands of people their jobs—and the men in my family their legacies.
Archer and I would have to talk tomorrow. Since I already knew my father had been working on a succession plan that didn’t involve me, I’d also have to speak to him. Perhaps there was a way I could step down as CEO without causing any damage whatsoever.
Until I got that taken care of, I wouldn’t make any moves to get another job, but as soon as it was done, I would start considering my options if it came to that. I hadn’t received my final paperwork from the Air Force just yet, so perhaps I could go back and forget any of this had ever happened.
Even as that thought hit me, I knew I wouldn’t do that. Not without Brittany and Lou at my side.
After I left the house, I drove to a hotel nearby and checked in. The room I got wasn’t a suite. It was just a regular double room, but it was still more than I needed. That was what my mother didn’t understand.
I didn’t need huge or fancy, opulence or extravagance. With the exception of my car, I cared very little about things money could buy. Sure, it made things a shit-ton easier to have money, and it’d be a lie to say that I didn’t enjoy the perks of having it, but it just didn’t mean the same to me that it did to her. It wasn’t my life, and neither was the status that came with it.
Brittany was the only person who’d ever really understood that about me. She was the only thing in my life that had ever really made complete sense to me because when I was with her, I was me. Just Tristin. She didn’t give a fuck about the connections being with me could get her, or about being catapulted into the exclusive circles my parents traveled in. In fact, given everything that’d happe
ned, I was pretty sure she’d have preferred it if my last name hadn’t been Ramsey.
I knew I had to give her some space, give her a chance to think and to forgive me, but I also had to prove to her that I was serious about her and only her.
I didn’t know yet how I was going to do it. All I knew was that I would.
36
BRITTANY
I had been going through my days in a fog. If it hadn’t been for Lou, I probably wouldn’t even have been getting out of bed.
As things were, however, I did get out of bed. Every morning, I woke up early, showered, got dressed, made breakfast, and went through all the motions I had to. It was almost like I was a real girl, except for the fact that I was pretty sure my heart had stopped beating the day Tristin had left.
Sure, he’d left because I’d asked him to, but that didn’t make it feel any better. A broken heart was a broken heart. How it broke didn’t really matter. Even the fact that I’d flung it against the wall and watched it shatter myself didn’t make it easier. If the person you wanted to be with suddenly wasn’t there anymore, it sucked. Big-time.
This might be my second rodeo with this particular brand of heartbreak, over the same man, but instead of making it something more navigable, I swore it was making it worse. There was a stupidity factor involved, one that my subconscious kept screaming at me I’d known about all along, and that snarky bitch was turning my thoughts into poison.
To counteract her, there was another part of my subconscious that didn’t think it had been stupid to get involved with him at all. The eternal optimist buried deep inside, the hopeless romantic who refused to give up, chimed in every time I started lambasting myself.
Giving true love a second chance can never be stupid. It’s brave, that part of my brain kept whispering. It’s the bravest thing a person can do, to open your heart up to love even when you’ve been burned by that flame so badly before.
Bad For You Page 23
