by Nicole Adams
For my Family and friends for their support and patience, my Mother for her excellent editting skills and to my Husband for the endless hours I read and re-read this book to you. You probably know it better than I do.
Contents
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Epilogue
Author's Note
Chapter 1
“You’re wearing that again?” Gilly says, pointing in disgust at my ‘go to’ dress.
“What? Why not!” I reply with a raised eyebrow, pressing the creases out with the palms of my hands. I turned to look in the mirror. It was the dress I always turned to for social occasions. It was jet black and came just above the knee with one of those swishy skirts that make you wish you were in a dance movie, even though my coordination was abysmal. I loved this dress; it was simple and gave me the blending quality I like at parties.
“Don’t you want to try something different this time? Stand out! Live a little! No wonder nobody knows who you are,” she said throwing her hands in the air, as if to make what she is saying more dramatic. Gilly and I have always been complete opposites. She stood out with her confident demeanour and ‘you only live once’ lifestyle, whereas I prefer to blend in and not get sucked into the ‘brat’ race. She was pretty in all the ways the guys at school like, blonde, blue eyes and a fair complexion that she covered with makeup. Me, on the other hand, I am simply plain Faye.
“It’s either this or I’m not going,” I reply, sitting down on the edge of her bed.
“Come on! Let me pick out an outfit for you. It’s not like you come to many parties, so you might as well make the most of it. Who knows you might actually like what I pick out,” she says pleadingly, making her eyes as big as possible.
“Alright! But If I don’t like it, I’m putting this straight back on and that’s the end of it. Remember though, I must be back for eleven. I can’t be late in the morning; the vet is coming for the tests on the cattle and I have to be there to help my dad out,” I remind her. My family own a small ranch on the outskirts of town. It has become a lot more work intensive since my Mum had to go back to her old job to cover the repair and lost livestock from the storm. So now it’s just me and my Dad working the farm, and my brother Henry on the occasional weekend. He goes to college a few hours away up state, but it’s not like he does much when he is here anyway, too busy messing about with girls, cars and his best friend Charlie.
“Alright Miss Buzzkill, not that you might actually have a good time,” she says, rolling her eyes at me, her hands already rummaging through her wardrobe trying to find me an outfit.
“Nothing too slutty, okay?” I say, looking towards her huge wardrobe.
“I’ll have you know we don’t like to be called sluts anymore, we are called independent women,” she says, very matter of factly. “What’s the harm in getting a few guys attention? You haven’t even had your first kiss yet and your eighteen in a few months! You’ll be one of those spinsters at the supermarket that wheel their cats around in prams, screaming at passers-by,” she says laughing at me.
“Thanks,” I reply sarcastically. “I’m just waiting for the right guy.” I sit flicking through a magazine she’d left on her nightstand.
Gilly bursts out of the closet clutching a red dress, with off the shoulder straps and a lot shorter than what I’m used to. I scrunch up my face in disagreement.
“It’s perfect! Put it on! Put it on! You’ll look so hot in this all the college boys will be drooling over you. You might even get a date to the dance,” she says, with a crazy look in her eyes.
“College boys? You said it was just the seniors!” I feel the anxiety fill my body.
“Some of the boys are home from college and are coming too. Don’t look at me like that girl! It’s no biggy, they still act our age anyway! Now sit still and let me do your make-up. We don’t have much time!” She starts pulling me to her dressing table and pressing me on the stool. Her room is a normal teenage girls’ room. Posters all over the purple walls of boy bands and famous men, clothes everywhere and make up smears all over the mirror. Like a bomb went off. Her Mom tries to tidy, but she’s never allowed in.
By this point I had admitted defeat. When Gilly gets in these makeover moods it’s hard to stop her. I just sat there contemplating the details of the night. How many people were going to be there? Will I know anyone? What the hell do you even talk about? I’ve never been the best at mixing with people. I never have time for socialising anymore, even after school groups. I love track, but since the storm I never get time for myself.
The storm happened around three years ago, two weeks before I started high school. It was the biggest storm in decades. It ruined the grain, broke machinery and flooded part of the house. It killed a lot of livestock and we almost lost my brother too. He was in the hay barn when the tornado touched down. I think that’s why he gets away with so much now. Since it happened, he has adopted these crazy hobbies like cliff climbing and motor biking. He never really has time for us anymore. Only the odd weekend where he stops by to lend a hand.
“All done,” Gilly says, snapping me back into reality. She holds up the mirror to my face. “Don’t you look great? You can’t even recognise that it’s you!”
“What the hell Gill! I look like a hooker, and not even the expensive kind,” I reply, trying to rub some of the blusher off my face. I’ve never worn this much make up in my life. She had curled my brown hair and scrunched it, and covered my eyes in eyeliner, which I must admit, made my brown eyes pop.
“You look great! It’s always good to try something different every once in a while. Anyway, it’s time to go now so no time to change it. Trust me you’ll have guys fawning all over you.” Gilly looks a little too happy, as she pulls me out the door. I dig my heels in, but this girl is stronger than she looks.
That is definitely not what I wanted. I spend the car journey calming everything down. Combing my hair with my fingers to tame my wily mane, removing the bright pink lipstick. I give her a small glare out of the corner of my eye. I can’t believe she thought I looked good. This stuff may suit her, but I look like god damn Coco the clown. Like that time she tried to put chopstick curls in my hair to look cute, but I just ended up looking like Maui from Moana.
As we pull up to the party, I start to see cars abandoned on lawns and by the road. The house is blasting music from every open window and there are people everywhere. It’s lucky her parents didn’t drop us off like last time, because I’m sure they would have carried on driving.
“Right, how do I look?” Gilly asks pulling the key out of the ignition and turning to me. She pulls down the skirt of her dress and pushes her boobs up. I try to respond but I feel panicked by the amount of people here.
“Gilly you’re not going to leave me, right? I don’t know a single person here,” I say, gesturing to the people sprawled on the lawn.
“Yeah, its fine Faye, let your hair down,” she says, checking her face in the mirror before leaping out of the car.
As soon as we get into the house a cloud of smoke hits me in the face. The strange smell of cannabis concocted with donut flavoured vape made my senses go crazy, and hungry for donuts. I hate those things. The cloud was like a thick fog and I couldn’t see a th
ing. “Gilly where shall we go?” I say reaching for her hand.
“Baby, you can take me anywhere you like.” says a dark-haired half naked guy. I stare at him wide eyed as I realise that I grabbed the wrong hand.
“Oops, not you,” I say, throwing his hand away like it was infected, and looking around for Gilly.
There was no room to walk. There were people dancing, making out, doing shots. Every square inch of the house was covered with people. I try to recognise familiar faces in the sea of drunken college students but there was only one that I spotted in the back yard. My brother.
As I spot him, he clocks me and beelines straight for me. I make a drink at the bar while I wait for him.
“What the hell are you doing here?” He says pulling me to the door. “This is a college party and you’re dressed like you’re the entertainment,” he says, glowering at me. I pull down the hem of my dress awkwardly. I knew this was a bad idea. He takes my cup and takes a sip accusingly before changing his tune when he tastes soda.
“I could ask you the same question. You’re meant to be at college! I thought you were telling Mom how you had a ‘big test’ coming up so you couldn’t make it home for the testing this weekend?” I said, knowing I had caught him out.
He stopped in his tracks.
“If I see you doing anything, and I mean anything, you’re leaving this party and we are taking you home, got that? I’m watching,” he said staring me down.
“Got it,” I nod. As soon as I do, he returns to his friends. As he does, I catch a glimpse of Charlie. You could say that at one point I had a crush on him. He hasn’t changed from the first time I met him, except a bit more muscularly defined and with more stubble. He is tall, dark and handsome with dark brown eyes like warm milk chocolate, which make me feel like Augustus Gloop and want to take a deep dive into them. He was one of those guys that were hot and didn’t really care about it. He had those muscular shoulders to die for, that were snug in his shirt and he towered over me. He’s never really said that much to me though. The only real conversation we’ve had is about cows.
I now realise, that I may have been staring a little longer than I should have, and I’ve been caught. Shit. He’s coming over. What do I do? What do I do? I panic glancing around the room for an escape.
“Hi,” I say awkwardly. At the point I realise he was heading for the bar that I was standing in front of.
“Oh, hi Faye. What are you doing here?” he says, pouring himself a beer.
“I’ve come with some friends, not that I can find them. Did you get a haircut since the last time I saw you?” I asked, pulling at straws for questions. Trying to act relaxed, I try and reach for my straw not really looking. My mouth is moving, frantically trying to catch it as I miss it every time.
“Well I haven’t seen you in a while, so probably. Where’s the boots and coveralls? Traded them in, have you?” he asked, looking at my dress. He gently grabs the straw and moves it towards my mouth. I nod slightly in gratitude.
“For one night and one night only.” I reply in the voice over tone you expect to go along with that phrase. I am officially a weirdo. He must think I’m such a kid. Internally face palming myself.
“You should do it more often, it suits you. I’ll see you later Faye.” With a wink and a cool trigger finger he slowly walks back to the group.
God he’s cute.
Right, shake that off. I should really find Gilly.
As I wander through the party, I grab myself another drink from bar and start searching. It’s like trying to find ‘Where’s Waldo’ in here.
I squeeze through the barrage of people on the dance floor and head for the bathroom for a breather. As I close the door behind me, I’m met by my reflection in the mirror. I can’t believe I went out like this. It doesn’t even look like me. I pull back my thick brunette curls from my face and examine Gilly’s work. While I’m here I may as well fix myself up a little bit. I try to brush out some of the curls a little, so they aren’t so big and clip my hair back out of my face with some Kirby grips I find at the bottom of my bag. Much better. I dread going back out. As I open the door to leave, girls swarm in like wasps towards the mirror.
“Did you see the state of that girl,” one says to the group whilst reapplying mascara to her already caked eyelashes.
“I know, right! She drank all those drinks the boys were giving her. She’s going to regret that later,” a blonde girl replies, and the all giggle in response.
“She only looked about 16. She sure can’t handle her drink! And what was with her purse! Leather was so last season!” They all erupted in laughter. I hope they aren’t talking about Gilly. I storm out of the bathroom to continue my quest. I cast my eyes around the room, but the lights made it hard to see.
After around 20 minutes I find her in the backyard next to a fire made inside an old oil drum, surrounded by a few people from school, but mostly strangers.
“Faye! Where have you been? Hope you haven’t been doing anything I wouldn’t do,” she shouts a little louder than was needed and exaggerating a wink. She was already tipsy, and we had been here an hour. She is always trying to impress the crowd.
“Just looking for you. How much have you had?” I asked propping her up, she was leaning against me like I was a wall.
“Ahh, don’t be a buzzkill Faye. I’m Fabulous!” she said, throwing her arms in the air then slapping her knee, thinking she was as funny as Kevin Hart. “Come, sit. You know Eric and Chad, and these people are Jake and what’s his face over there. What’s your face?” she says, shouting at a boy that looked as annoyed and uncomfortable as I did, and prodding him in the chest.
“Umm, it’s Greg. I have told you that six times already,” he says, pushing her off him.
“Oh yeah, you’re the cute one,” Gilly says, running her finger along his jaw line and bopping him on the nose.
Again he shoves her off, and she stumbles towards the fire. I lunge towards her to save her. “Gilly!” I shout.
Before I get to her, I feel someone’s arm and I’m knocked to the floor with them on top of me.
“Get off me! Gilly!” I shout pushing at the body holding me down. I peer over their shoulder to see Gilly lying on the floor unmoving.
“Are you fucking insane? You could have killed yourself! If I hadn’t of been watching you, you could have been barbeque,” Charlie screams at me.
“Gilly! Is she alright? Did someone get to her? Why isn’t she moving? GILLY!” with my shout I let out a cry pleading with my friend to answer me.
I break free of Charlies grasp and head straight for her. This is all my fault I should have stayed with her. As I reach down, I see her hands are burned and smell the familiar smell of singed hair. People have gathered, some covering her in wet cloths to try and cool her down. Greg was nowhere to be seen. I could see she was breathing but unconscious.
“Somebody call 911!” When I see no one move, I repeat myself louder, “SOMEONE CALL 911!”
“Faye! You’re okay, right? I knew it was a bad idea letting you stay. I knew you’d get into trouble! You’ve got to go! The cops are coming and you’re not 21 so unless you want to get taken home in a cop car, you’ve got to go,” Henry said, pushing me away from Gilly.
“I can’t leave her, Henry, she’s my best friend! I need to make sure she’s alright!” All the while I’m pushing forward, trying to get back to her.
“Charlie, take her home and don’t take no for an answer! Right, Faye, I will stay with her and make sure she’s okay, but if you get caught Mom and Dad will be so pissed! Now go,” he says pushing me towards Charlie.
“Please, let me stay. Charlie, please.” I cry, trying to shake loose of his grasp, and when I almost do, he heaves me up and over his shoulder. As I look back, I see Henry bending down next Gilly, stroking her face, trying to comfort her, and then she was out of sight.
Charlie puts me down on the front seat of his truck and I hear the faint hum of sirens in the distance.
<
br /> “Why did you stop me from helping her? Why did you get in the way?” I ask, tears streaming down my face.
“Your brother would have never forgiven me if I had let you jump into a fire,” he says keeping is eyes on the road.
“Why didn’t you save her instead?” I blubbered, wiping the tears from my eyes trying to stop the waterworks overflowing within me.
He sits in silence and stares at the road. “Answer me?” I shouted.
“Because! Because… I had to save you.” He said barely audible, still not looking me in the face.
I turn to the window and see my reflection in the passing street light glow. I was a wreck. Why haven’t I heard from Henry yet? I hope she’s okay and doesn’t hate me for leaving. I should have stayed. Should I ring and check? I look at my phone and see its only been 7 minutes since I left the party. It feels so much longer.
As we pulled up the driveway to my house, I could see my dad in the distance driving the tractor doing the late-night check on the cows. As we have no money left to run the ranch, we have to do it all ourselves. We can’t afford to hire any ranch hands, so my dad does all the checks from 5 in the morning till 12 at night.
