"And that's what I mean," I remarked, getting bolder with expressing my feelings.
"I'm not following, Billie." Stroking his index finger between my eyes, he smoothed my frown away. My lips formed a line and he drew the pad of his thumb across them, deep in thought until his eyes suddenly brightened.
"Stop. You can forget that I saw you as some kind of conquest. That isn't what's going on here. Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough for you, and perhaps we've arrived where we are way too fast. The point is when I met you last year I was instantly attracted to you, but it went deeper than that. Something that's never happened to me before. Sure, I've liked the look of many pretty girls, some I've hooked up with, but what happened that day between us felt different. It is different. Then, when I learned about your situation my chest grew so tight, and I felt the hurt that you carried. I also felt the need to protect you from whatever had caused your pain. You shared far more of your circumstance with me because of the shit circumstance you had found yourself on that day."
"You told me already."
"Leaving you sitting there at that table tore me up, Billie. After I left you, I had to find the will not to turn around and go back to check if you were okay. Then when I saw you again, all those months later and you were with that guy, I couldn't figure out how to grab my second chance to know you better."
"Vince was nice but he wasn't my type."
"And neither am I, so you say, but here we are, and we're so fucking good together. The conversation is easy, the sex and our chemistry are blisteringly hot, and most importantly, I feel a connection with you that's growing stronger by the day. You need to shake those hang-ups out of your head because I refuse to put up with them. Forget about them. Forget about everything. It's what we've started right here that matters. Why can't you allow yourself to accept what this is, and stop trying to fight it?"
"Your self-belief is amazing."
"If you don't believe in yourself, how is anyone else supposed to? I know you have difficulty trusting me, but I think you are stunningly beautiful, and you're bright, articulate, sensational between the sheets, the list goes on," he said, with a grin and cupped my chin to stop me from looking away.
"So what happens now?" I asked decisively, hiding how hard his words had been to accept, and I felt myself blush when he spoke about us having sex.
"Now? We can either go another round, or we can get cleaned up in the shower, take a soak in the hot tub, play pool, watch a movie, or go for a walk on the beach. Sunset is at 7:45ish so we could order takeout and have a romantic dinner on the patio." A small smile spread on his lips before it turned into a wicked grin when his eyebrow shot up in thought.
"Although … my vote says the first suggestion sounds best," he teased. He dipped his head and planted a kiss over the purplish love bite he'd left on my shoulder. "Not sorry for this in the slightest," he whispered. Goosebumps erupted all over my skin, but I pushed him away. Between my legs ached and from the glazed, lusty look that darkened his eyes I knew he was serious.
"Hot tub and a movie sound perfect," I agreed, needing some respite after his earlier pounding. It had been a while since I'd had sex, and I'd never been taken like Sawyer had done, but it wasn't only the sexual connection I wanted respite from, I needed a minute to process what I had done.
Chapter Eleven
We had a perfect day together and after being intimate, it had surprised me when Sawyer had continued to be toward me. I'd never had casual sex before, but he hadn't made me feel like that was what we'd done.
I was glad we'd already been intimate because it had taken the nerves out of the situation and helped me relax. I also found I felt closer to him for our experience.
What I especially loved was how he'd maintained our intimacy by holding my hand in the hot tub during our conversations. Even when we'd cuddled during the movie he had made me feel treasured. His kisses were gentle, tender and more deliberate than those we had shared before we'd slept together.
The takeout and sunset were everything he'd promised me. After the sun had gone down, I stood up and began to clear away the remnants of our meal, but his hand closed over mine and he led me back inside.
"Home?" he asked, the choice left to me without him stating an alternative. I took a deep breath, while I thought about what felt right, and sighed and tried not to overthink this as his way of telling me to leave.
"Yeah, I think I should." If Sawyer was disappointed, he hid it well.
"I'll call us a car."
"No. Please, stay here. You don't have to come back with me."
"I insist. I brought you here, I'll see you get home. It's not a problem. Give me five minutes to organize something." Sawyer made his way across the room to his jeans, fished his cell out of his back pocket, and fired off a text. Seconds later his cell vibrated in his hand. "It's ten minutes away."
I had only pulled on my top and the spare thong I'd stashed in my purse after we'd gotten out of the hot tub earlier that afternoon. I swiped my capri pants off the floor and straightened up in time to see Sawyer bend down and grab my flip-flops up from the floor.
"Wait," he demanded. The urgency in his voice stopped me from pulling on my pants. Sawyer strolled over toward me, dangling my flimsy footwear from his fingertips by their thin straps. "These will cost you one of those dick-stiffening kisses you're so good at," he mumbled, sidling sexily up next to me with a wicked grin on his face. I shook my head and his eyes fell to the tiny patch of material covering my pussy. Immediately he crouched in front of me.
Sliding a warm hand around one ankle, he lifted my foot and slid it into the flip-flop. He then did the same with the other. As he stood, he traced his palms up the length of my legs, sending shivers down my spine and slid his thumbs into the thin waistband of my thong.
Teasing the flimsy stringy garment slowly down my legs he followed its path, peppering tiny little kisses on each thigh until the thong fell to the floor between my feet. "Off," he demanded again, lifting one foot, carefully peeling it off past the footwear before he repeated the move with the second. "These? They're now mine," he informed me, bunching them up in his palm and holding them up to his nose. "Got to have something to remind me of you until next time," he stated firmly as he lifted his jeans and fed his legs into them.
Turning, he looked me up and down as he fastened up his fly, stuffed the thong in his front pocket and made to move past me. When his eyes captured mine, he grinned wickedly and gave my ass a short, sharp smack. The sound echoed through the room and he chuckled. "The pants you can keep. Better put them on before you give the driver of your ride home a stroke."
Conversation on the way to my house felt stilted, mainly due to me, because when Sawyer asked me questions, I had only responded with one-word answers. I'd been concerned about what the cab driver thought about me being with a younger guy like Sawyer.
"Can I take you to breakfast tomorrow?" My heart leaped when he asked to see me again and I felt relieved and excited, but still anxious about where this was all leading.
"That would be lovely." My heart skipped a beat when I agreed and was rewarded with one of his sexy killer smiles.
"10:00 a.m.? It's Sunday," he suggested.
"10:00 would be perfect."
"As are you," he remarked quickly. I rolled my eyes, but my belly flipped anyway at his flirtatious reply. "10:00 it is."
"Don't get out," I said, firmly. "I'm fine, I'll see myself in."
"Fine, but it's the last time you'll tell me this," he warned quietly, and somehow I knew he meant it.
Usually, I tolerated my neighbors, but I knew no one breathed out of sync on our block without someone setting another's tongue wagging. The last thing I needed—at least until I knew what all this meant between Sawyer and me—was to be the focus of the monthly home association newsletter as the merry divorcee.
The cab remained, its engine idling until I stepped inside my house. When I heard the car leave, I closed my front door softly and lean
ed back against it. I tried to remember the last time I'd had a day like the perfect one I'd just had with Sawyer, and my mind came up blank.
My stomach knotted tight when I couldn't think of any other occasion to top it. Sighing heavily, I knew that, despite our brief relationship, Sawyer already meant more to me than I was prepared to voice.
Pushing myself off the door by my shoulders, dropped my purse on the couch and headed upstairs. I was two steps off the landing when my cell rang in my bag. Scooting back downstairs, I pulled it out and saw it was Tricia.
"Hey," I said, tucking my hair behind my ear and walking back up the stairs.
"And?" she asked.
"And?" I repeated, pretending not to know what she wanted.
"Come on, Billie. Don't make me come over there."
I chuckled. "We went to the diner, as he said."
"And?"
"And then we went home."
"We?"
"Yeah, he went his way and I went mine."
"Bullshit."
"I swear it's the truth."
"There must have been something in between. Did he kiss you?"
"Last night?" I knew I was being difficult, but it felt fun to tease her nosey butt.
"No, three weeks last Wednesday. Of course last night! Tell me he kissed you."
"No, we didn't kiss last night."
"Are you fucking kidding me? I had him pegged for the kind of guy who would pull you into a doorway and fuck your brains out."
"Nope, not that kind of guy either." Although, when I thought back to earlier that day, I'd felt at one point as if my brain was melting.
"Jeez, Billie, throw me a bone here."
"A bone?" I asked, repeating what she said but wanting to add an 'R' to the word. Then my mind flitted back to how incredible Sawyer had looked naked, all tightly packed muscles and sinew, his erection standing proud. "All right. Everything I said about last night was true. Everything about today though … that was a completely different story altogether."
"You saw him today? Breakfast? Lunch? Come on, I want details."
"I agreed to spend the day with him, and he doesn't appear to be tolerating my hang-up about the age gap."
"Good. I get it. Your shitty ex-husband shattered your confidence, but if this guy is into you, it's his decision. It isn't as if he's going in blind. He knows what's gone down in the past and that you have a kid, and if none of that's putting him off, it shouldn't affect you either."
I sighed. "I know, but I already really like him. It's just—"
"Different, better, fantastic, amazing. Whatever word was in your mind, scratch it out and replace it with one of those. I know you think this is easy to say for me, since I have never been married, but come on, Billie, give me some credit. We've all had our hearts broken by some asshole at some time in our lives. You're just a late bloomer in that department."
Hearing how confident she was boosted mine. "You're right. Besides, I had a good time today."
"A good time?"
"All right, an amazing time. No, it was incredible. Damn, life sure passed me by with Logan. Being with Sawyer today …" I stopped because I wasn't sure how to describe it, and I certainly hadn't wanted to mention his wealth and such. "It was a day of doing ordinary things, but with the right person. Am I making sense?"
"Absolutely. You could go on the most amazing trip with the wrong people and hate it. Or you could spend a day doing the little things but feel like you've had the time of your life."
"Exactly, and there's where I'm at."
"But you came home without him."
"I did. No matter how carried away I had gotten when I was with him, I still felt the need for some breathing space to absorb everything that had gone on and also to digest how I feel now."
"That makes sense, but don't overdo it. That mind of yours needs to stay positive now. You've made a decision that works for you. In all the time I've known you, Billie, I've always thought there was a tiger inside that pussy cat outer shell."
"Glad you said, tiger and not a cougar."
"Fuck, there you go again. You're Billie Collier, the hot new singleton in town, not Billie geriatric."
"All right, I won't mention my age concerning anything again. Happy?"
Satisfied with my concession, Tricia ended the call and I felt drained. I showered leisurely as I thought through my day, and by the time I fell into bed, I went out like a light.
Chapter Twelve
Waking the following morning, my mind immediately brought me the image of Sawyer's smiling face. I smiled to myself and shook my head because of how I'd met him and what we'd done felt stranger than fiction.
Throwing the covers back, I stepped out of bed with a belly full of anticipation and prepared to be picked up for breakfast. Punctual and looking hotter than hell, Sawyer turned up at my door on his motorcycle again.
This time I was better prepared for the ride in a pair of skinny jeans, a fitted navy blue top, and a hoodie to keep myself warm. Riding the highway doing eighty miles per hour in the sun was still chilly.
Fifteen minutes later, we were tucking into a hearty breakfast of pancakes, bacon, eggs, and sausage. Sawyer smiled around his glass then took a large gulp of his freshly squeezed orange juice.
"What are you smiling about?"
"This. You. I have a lot to smile about."
"You're smooth, you know that?"
"Yeah, until I get you into bed. Then, not so much. I kind of lost it, didn’t I?"
"Sawyer!" I hissed, my rounded eyes huge as I scanned the diner to see who might have overheard. A devilish grin curved his lips and he shook his head.
"You're way too easy to get a rise out of, darlin'. Best you get used to me because if I want to pay you a compliment or talk honestly about us, I don't care who hears me."
"What if I do?"
"Then you need to learn it's what you and I think, and it's no one else's business."
Leaning across the table he took my fork out of my hand, slid his fingers through mine, and held it firmly. "Are we having our first fight?" he teased, dipping his chin and peering up at me through his thick dark lashes. The innocent expression he wore made me chuckle.
"No, I'm saving that for when there are plenty of empty dishes around."
"Damn, that's hot. I love fiery women throwing dishes. They make me hard."
"Stop it," I hissed again and stole another look around the diner.
"Not a chance in hell. I love the way your cleavage turns red when my comments are affecting you. It's so fucking hot." His hungry eyes focused on my bust, and I looked down to see how scarlet it had gone. "I'm still trying to get used to a woman who was married for that long and still reacts perfectly innocently when I tell her what I think."
As the day went on, I realized Sawyer had started the day the way he meant to continue it: treating me like I was special. He was polite too; he opened doors and wrapped a protective arm around my shoulders while we walked in the sun through the park to the sound of music from the blues festival that filtered through the air.
At first, when people looked at us, I wondered if they were judging us and asking themselves, "What is he doing with her?" The day wore on and I lost myself in the music and the conversations we shared about our lives. His constant interest in the parts of my life he didn't know about made me begin to think he was right; no one else mattered but us.
Holding my hand at every opportunity, Sawyer often leaned toward me and spoke intimately into my ear, murmuring his thoughts aloud as to how certain songs resonated with him, or singing a line he wanted to emphasize to me. I basked in his attention, and my heart swelled in my chest with how happy and fulfilled I felt when I was with him.
When he glanced at his phone and saw it was almost 2:00 p.m., we decided to find some food. We hit a nearby food cart and grabbed some hotdogs, a tray of nachos, and a couple of diet sodas. After this, we scouted around for a place to sit and settled in a secluded spot beneath a shady oak tree.
"All right. Parents, siblings? Give it to me," he demanded.
I sighed when I thought about my situation. "Absent father since I was around six and a half, I think." I paused and recollected my mom's distress when she discovered he'd gone. "He cleaned out their joint bank account and skipped town." I snickered and shook my head. "Left a note saying he realized he wasn't cut out for family life."
"What an asshole! Who leaves a woman to bring up a kid like that?"
"I know, right?" I agreed without thinking and remembered Logan had left Colby and me. It wasn't the same, but still. I shrugged and he shook his head, a look of frustration on his face.
"Fuck," he muttered, dropping his hotdog onto the paper tray to take my hand. Bringing it to his mouth, he licked his lips free of his food and pressed them onto my skin. "If it's any consolation to your mom, she did an amazing job of raising you."
"She did, and I told her this at every opportunity I could. She died a couple of years ago."
"So young?"
"She was seventy-eight. My parents were both in their mid-thirties when they married. My mom was really smart. She was a research scientist but ended up doing menial jobs to be around for me. Anyway, both my parents were only children and after she died, there was only me."
As our conversation continued Sawyer shared more about his family. His mom grew up with three sisters, but his dad only one brother, his late uncle, Alexander. He then said it had been his parents' wishes to have a large brood of kids.
"And you? Do you want children?" I had tried to sound casual about this but I held my breath, while he debated his answer. With every vacant second that passed, I felt my advancing reproductive age bear down on me. My heart sank, because no matter how hard I tried to forget our differences, I couldn't.
"Sure. I'd like to be a father. I think I have a lot of love to give. I love kids, and they love me. One of my sisters has a son, and another has three daughters. I'm not sure I'm cut out to have girls though," he snickered. "They're way too smart and cunning. There's this thing my sister's eldest, Milly, does with her lip when she doesn't get her way that melts my heart. I'm a sucker for her pouty mouth and she knows it." He chuckled as he scarfed the end of his hot dog down, looked up at my face, and frowned.
DARE You, Dare Duet, Part One: Billie and Sawyer: Unchained Attraction Series Page 12
