by Becca Barnes
As we walked out of the store, I dropped one of the bags. The contents spilled across the polished concrete floor.
“Dang it.” I stooped to pick everything up.
I lifted my head to yell to Tori to wait for me, but she’d already stopped moving. She was in the middle of the bustling walkway, standing so still she could have been frozen.
And then I looked past her and saw the reason she’d stopped.
“Oh, shit.”
Twenty
Tori
There was nowhere to run.
Nowhere to hide.
They saw me.
Maybe, just maybe, they hadn’t seen me come out of the maternity store, though.
“Hey!” I put on my most innocent look of surprise as I went to hug my sister-in-law, standing only a few feet away. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“Hey,” said Jen flatly.
“Hi, Tori. It’s been so long. I almost didn’t recognize you.” Jen’s best friend Annie shifted a couple bags over her shoulder to give me a side hug. “How have you been doing?”
“Good. Same old, same old.” Definitely not several months pregnant and hiding it from my brother and his wife.
“Yeah?” Annie glanced up at the sign over the maternity store. Dang it. They had seen me walk out. “I didn’t know you were expecting.”
“Zppp!” Jen reached over and shoved her hand over my mouth.
“Whrrrt arr yu doon?” I said from behind her hand.
“Don’t you dare answer that question,” she hissed. “Not a word.”
“I don’t understand,” said Annie.
“Zppp. Shut it.” Jen put her other hand over Annie’s mouth. “I don’t know anything. And it doesn’t matter what I strongly suspect. And have suspected for awhile now. Because talking about my suspicions is nothing but gossip, and I’m not going to do that. But if anyone were to tell me that they were pregnant, then I would be holding a secret from my husband. And I definitely can’t do that. So everyone just shut their pie holes. All right?”
Annie and I both nodded.
“All right.” Jen took her hands away from our mouths.
She turned to me, her eyes full of concern.
“How are you really doing?” she asked.
“I’m fine,” I said. Honestly? Better than fine. Shopping with Jake today had been a blast.
“You’re sure?” said Jen.
“Positive.”
“Okay. Call me if you need anything,” she said and then sighed. “Does Nana know? Not that you’re confirming anything to me.”
“She knows.”
“Well, that makes me feel better at least,” she said. “And I mean it. Call if you need anything.”
“I will. And I, umm, I know that I need to grab some time to talk to Nate.”
“Yes, you do.” She took a step away and held both of my hands in hers. “He loves you, Tori. So much. No matter what.”
“I know.”
“And he’ll understand.”
“Umm, I’m not sure…” My eyes flitted back to Jake involuntarily. He turned away, trying to hide his face, but he wasn’t quick enough.
Jen followed my gaze and let out a tiny gasp.
“Ohhh, crap,” she whispered.
“Yeah.”
“Shhh! Not another word,” she said. “It was nice running into you. Only you. You’re the only person that I saw here.”
“Jen, I’m going to tell him. I just need to figure out the best way to—”
“Shh!” She shook her head. “Just...talk to your brother, Tori. Soon.”
Jen grabbed Annie by the wrist and yanked her the opposite direction without even saying goodbye.
“Lovely seeing you!” called Annie over her shoulder.
Once they were out of sight, I turned to face Jake. The only way to describe his expression was broken.
“Jen said she won’t tell him,” I said as soon as he walked over. “And she doesn’t officially know that I’m pregnant.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t have the same excuse,” he said, hitching the throng of bags up higher on his broad shoulder.
“So is this the end of the date?” I asked, surprised by how disappointed I was.
“Not unless you want it to be.”
“You know what I’d really like?” I said.
“What?”
“To pee. Followed by food and a nap.”
“What a coincidence. That is exactly what I was going to suggest.”
“Liar.” I laughed, but he winced.
And up sprang the Nate-shaped wall.
* * *
“You have no idea how good that feels.”
Jake and I had grabbed takeout for dinner and headed to my apartment. All my shopping stamina had evaporated the moment my butt hit the couch. And that was when I realized how badly my feet ached. I hadn’t had a marathon shopping excursion like that since before I’d gotten pregnant, and I’d forgotten what kind of toll it takes on your body.
“Tell me if it’s too hard,” said Jake.
“No, that’s perfect. In fact, I wouldn’t mind it harder.”
“I can go really deep if you want.”
“No, this is good.”
A foot rub, people. It was a foot rub.
I wouldn’t have minded him using those magic fingers on other body parts, but alas. I didn’t want to press my luck. I’d take what I could get.
“Oh my gosh. That feels amazing.” I arched my back to stretch my spine and glanced down. My bump had never been more pronounced. That sales lady had been right. It was like my ab muscles had said, “meh,” a few hours ago.
Heaving a sigh, I flopped backward onto the cushions. I felt like a freaking beluga whale.
“What is it?” asked Jake.
“Nothing.”
“Now who’s the liar?” he murmured.
“Fine,” I said. “I guess I’m just tired of feeling so frumpy.”
“Frumpy?” He stopped rubbing.
I wriggled my toes to get him to start again.
“Yeah. It’s this weird paradox. I’ve never been so horny in my life, even though I’m totally unsexy.”
“Unsexy?”
I nodded and twisted my feet in his lap.
“Keep rubbing, big guy,” I said.
“Unsexy?” Jake leaned back and ran his hands up my shins. “You think you’re unsexy?”
“I don’t think I’m unsexy. I know I am. It’s been weeks since I’ve been able to wear pants with buttons. There are blue veins running up and down my boobs. I have to pee every five minutes, and I’ve started making a little oof noise every time I have to bend over.”
Not to mention the fact that my ass seemed to be doubling in size every time I looked at it in the mirror.
“Stop it,” he said. “You’re sexy as hell. You’ve never been more gorgeous.”
“Don’t.” I rolled my eyes. “I know that you’re, like, contractually obligated to say those things since you’re the one who knocked me up, but just...don’t.”
“Tori, you’re not able to see yourself. You’re...there are no words for how hot you are right now.”
“Sure, Jan.” I slipped him the side eye and reached for my water cup.
“You can’t be serious,” he said. His hands drifted up my legs and he ran his thumb over the sensitive area behind my knee.
“Serious as an unplanned pregnancy. And just as unsexy.”
He shifted on the couch so my legs were astride him.
“I have never found you more desirable. More beautiful. Tori, you...you glow.”
“Ahh, yes, the glow. It’s actually pregnancy-induced rosacea. You can google it.”
“Tori.” He gripped the back of the couch and gritted his teeth. “Do you not have eyeballs? You’re so hot I…”
He leaned his head back and growled. I had a flash of deja vu to the night I got pregnant.
“You what?” My voice quavered. I hated being this vulnerable. Right now, I fe
lt more naked than any of the times we ever had floor-pounding sex.
“Tori, I didn’t even realize that I have the level of self-control that it’s taken the last couple weeks, to stay away from you, to not pin you against the nearest wall and have my way with you every time I’m near you. And those changes to your body. Your breasts? Do you have any concept how arousing it is to see them grow and change, knowing that they’re getting ready to care for our child? You’re right. You’re not sexy. That word is too mundane to describe you. You’re beyond sexy. You’re like every one of my raunchiest fantasies rolled into one right now.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“Am I just saying this?” He grabbed my hand and held it against his, okay, extremely large erection. “Hmm?”
“But—”
“You want to know how much I want you?” He gripped me under the thighs and pulled me tight against him. “You want to know how difficult this is for me, sticking to my guns? You want to know what over three months without being inside of you has done to me?”
Jake angled himself so his mouth was so close to my ear, I could feel the warmth of his breath tingle against my earlobe.
“You want to know what I fantasize about day and night?” He let his hand drift up, up, up my leg. “You want me to show you how sexy you are?”
“Please.” It came out a pant. A pathetic, begging pant.
I’d already taken off my too-tight exercise pants and restricting bra--another thing I needed to upsize--the moment we’d gotten to my apartment. Currently, I was wearing nothing but an oversized, baggy sweatshirt and my La Perla thong. And I’d almost ditched the La Perlas for a pair of old, cotton undies.
Now I was kind of glad I hadn’t.
His fingers teased between my inner thighs and stroked my wetness over the delicate lace.
Okay, really glad.
I let out a gasp as a wave of desire crashed over me.
“I need to see you.” His voice was gruff and full of want. “All of you.”
“No, Jake. I—” I was suddenly self-conscious. I didn’t want him to see the veins. The belly bulge.
“All of you.” He lifted my sweatshirt over my head, and it was his turn to gasp.
I started to twist away, embarrassed, but he held me where I was.
“God, Tori. My imagination has had nothing on you.” He lifted my heavy breast to his mouth, licking tender circles around the darkened flesh, all the while keeping his fingers busy. I shuddered under his touch.
I hadn’t felt this desirable since...well, since the last time I’d been with him. Maybe ever.
I reached for the button on his jeans and tried to wrestle it open one-handed, but he stopped me. He held my arms above my head with his free hand.
“Only you tonight,” he said. “I want to watch you come. And I want to hear you say it.”
“Say what?” I managed to squeak out.
“Say how sexy you are.”
“I don’t—ahh.” Hot damn, that felt amazing.
He brushed the underwear aside reverently and went deeper, drawing a moan from somewhere in my chest.
“No, I take that back. Sexy isn’t the right word,” he said, stroking me, claiming me, as my hips bucked beneath his greedy touch. “Sexy doesn’t begin to cover it. Neither does beautiful or gorgeous or hot or distracting or fantasy fodder.”
It was becoming impossible to focus on anything but the pleasure that built in my core, begging for release.
“But say it anyway,” he murmured. I writhed as the coils of sensation tightened. “Say it.”
“I’m sexy,” I gasped.
It was like his words held a mirror up. For a moment, I could see a reflection of exactly how he saw me. Desirable. Beautiful.
“Say it again.”
“I’m sexy.”
“Show it.” He pressed and licked and sucked and teased as I screamed, past the point of words.
When I came, it was as if an overflowing dam had burst. Weeks and weeks of frustration boiling to the surface and coming to a head. My body stayed tense and quivering even after the waves of release washed over me. Jake held me as the sensation slowly quieted. I didn’t trust myself to speak, lest I say something sappy that I regretted and couldn’t take back.
“Do you want to stay?” I asked while he pulled a blanket over me.
“You need your rest,” he said as he got me situated and comfortable.
My eyelids started to droop. He grabbed his keys.
“You don’t have to go yet.”
“It’s okay. Go to sleep. I’m going to take Fido out one last time before I go.”
“You mean Fifi von Flufflesworth,” I mumbled through a yawn. A hot flash hit, and I tossed the blanket off of one of my boobs and my stomach before I overheated.
I cast one last glance his direction as he attached the leash to my dog’s harness. As I dozed off, the last thing I saw was Jake standing there by the door, watching me.
And it may have been my imagination, but as the door shut behind him, I could have sworn he chuckled and muttered the word, “Frumpy?”
Twenty-One
Jake
Well, that was officially the longest, coldest shower in history.
Twenty-Two
Tori
“I’m glad you called.” Nate placed the mega-sized slice of gooey turtle cheesecake in between us. It was our go-to dessert at our go-to diner in downtown Decatur.
“Yeah?” I said.
“It’s been too long since we’ve gotten together, just the two of us.” He dug his fork into the back crust of the cheesecake as I attacked the front.
“It has been a while.” Don’t get me wrong. We saw each other all the time, but it had been quite a bit since the two of us had hung out without other family or friends or co-workers. Almost six months.
“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” he said.
“Oh?” There was something I didn’t want to talk to him about. But I needed to. My only other option at this point was wearing nothing but rain ponchos around him until I popped. The man was blind. I’d even started getting double takes at work. Office gossip. One more thing to worry about.
“Yeah.” He put his fork down and picked up his mug of coffee—brewed extra strong, served black, just like he’d drunk it since high school. “I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you.”
I started coughing as the bite of cheesecake in my mouth lodged itself down the wrong pipe. That’s what happens when you have to swallow down a huge dose of shock at the same time as your food.
“You’re proud of me?”
“Don’t act so surprised. You did an amazing job on all the Crainfield Energy press and marketing strategy sessions a few months ago. And Jake tells me you’ve actually showed up at every meeting we’ve had for the last few weeks.” He took another sip of coffee. “To be honest, I was a little worried about you there for awhile, when you went AWOL at the cabin. But you’ve impressed me since you came back.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
“I mean, I’d be proud of you no matter what,” he said.
“Yeah, sure.” It slipped out before I could stop myself.
“I’m serious, Tor. You’ve turned into a...fine young woman.”
“Please stop talking.”
“I know that I’ll never be Mom or Dad, but—”
“Okay, stop right there,” I said. “You’re a great older brother. You always have been. And you’ve done things to help me, gone to lengths, that most brothers wouldn’t.”
I gulped, reliving the shame and fear of my huge mistake at seventeen years-old.
“No, you stop,” said Nate. “Let me finish. What I was going to say is that I’m proud of you for how you’ve embraced your role in the renewable energy initiative even though I know it’s not that interesting to you. I appreciate it.
“But, Tori, that’s the reason why you’re, well, you’re fired.”
“I’m...what?” It
was a good thing that I didn’t have a piece of cheesecake in my mouth. It would have ended up sprayed across his front.
“You’re fired. I’m firing you.”
Had he found out about the baby? About Jake? Was he taking away my company shares and disinheriting me? Could he even do that?
“But why?” I asked.
“I’m passionate about this green energy project. You’re not. I can see that. And that’s okay. I want you to do something you’re passionate about. Whatever you want. It could be a nonprofit that the foundation is already involved with or you could start your own. Or maybe a project that’s caught your eye that you want to invest in. Anything you want.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Right now, don’t say anything. Just think about what you want to do next. Now”—he shoveled a giant bite of cheesecake into his mouth then swallowed—“what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?”
“I, uh, I—“ I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t tell him I was pregnant right after he’d given that whole speech about being proud of me. “Nothing. I only wanted to hang out.”
“Liar,” he said, pointing his fork at me.
I blanched.
“I don’t know what you—”
“You just wanted cheesecake.”
Heh.
“You caught me.”
I lopped off a huge chunk of the slice and inhaled it.
Protein.
Twenty-Three
Jake
This would either be a spectacular success or I’d go down in flames.
I was sure that any sane person would put gambling odds on flames, but I chose to be an optimist as I straightened the last branch on the Christmas tree, hid three more Easter eggs, and laid out the Scrabble board. I adjusted the volume on the karaoke player and then set the table.
Steak knives. Chopsticks. Fondue forks.
Go big or go home. This was my last shot--the elusive third date--and I wasn’t going to waste it.
There was a knock at the door, and I peered through the peephole. Tori stood on the porch, mindlessly rubbing her tummy. She wore that flirty pink skirt she’d bought at the mall on our shopping excursion a few weeks ago.
We’d hung out since then after work, grabbing a quick bite to eat or strolling the walking trails at Piedmont Park. The woman could wolf down a taco in a way that scared me a little. We’d gone shopping a couple more times, although she’d bought more stuff for pregnant women in need than for herself.
