"Life, fate, experience..."
"If that's really true, then why make it worse? Why speed up the inevitable? Why fight if you could enjoy it while it lasts?"
"It'll hurt more that way," Jeffrey said in a pain-filled whisper.
Akoni shivered at the sound of Jeffrey's broken voice. "They say it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. So let's make as many happy memories as we can, while we can. Let's live now."
"Everything is so simple to you."
"Because it is." Akoni leaned in, cupping Jeffrey's face with both hands. "I will do anything for you, Jeffrey. Anything to make you happy." He pressed his lips against Jeffrey's, slow and soft and gentle, hardly daring to breathe, waiting. The slightest hint of pressure returned, a parting of lips. And then they were on each other, teeth clashing, tongues fighting as they devoured one another.
They stopped eventually, both lying on their sides, Akoni's arms and legs wrapped around Jeffrey to keep him close. Jeffrey rested his head against Akoni's chest, hands playing absently with Akoni's robe.
"I don't deserve you," Jeffrey murmured into Akoni's chest, barely loud enough to hear.
Akoni heard the words but couldn't fathom them. This man in his arms, the most amazing person he'd ever met, and he didn't think himself deserving. For a long time, he stayed silent, then spoke, his voice unaffected and casual. "You've got the wrong end of the stick there. It's me who doesn't deserve you. But I'm a prince who is used to getting his way. I want you and I'll have you, whatever it takes. I'm soon to be king, nothing shall stop me getting what I want."
A half chortle from Jeffrey had Akoni tightening his hold and suppressing a laugh of his own.
"That's probably the most snobbish thing I've heard you say since I got back."
"I was born in a palace, silver spoon and all. What do you expect?"
"Pretentious tit."
Akoni bit his lip to keep quiet.
Jeffrey lifted his head, and their eyes locked. They both laughed.
His fingertips stroking the side of Jeffrey's face, Akoni leaned in to place a tiny kiss on his nose. "I truly don't think I'm worthy of you. I've done little to make myself deserving of another. But I want you in my life. If I have to work myself to the bone every day until the end of my days to be worthy of you, I will do it gladly, Jeffrey Corvin Trevino."
"Don't do that, don't make me feel bad that way. You've been working for years to counter your father's madness--"
"Shush, don't say that. The scant good I've done does not compare to the horrific things I've inflicted on others. I have much to atone for, and I will do my best to set things right. You, on the other hand, have already suffered more than your fair share. Let me try and pay for some of my sins by making you happy."
"You've set yourself quite the task there."
"Hmm, yes, I think I may be starting to see that. No matter, I'm as ambitious as I am pretentious. I'll make you mine and I'll make you happy."
Jeffrey snickered. "You're an idiot. And a fool."
Akoni nipped at Jeffrey's earlobe. "So long as I'm your fool, I don't mind."
Jeffrey let out a long sigh, some of the tension leaving his body. "Thank you," he whispered.
Akoni hugged Jeffrey tighter in response.
Chapter 22
"Where in Tempesta's name have you been? Leaving me notes now? What's going on?" Jeffrey waved a piece of paper as he ranted. He stood in their bedroom, dressed in leather breeches, boots, and a thick travelling robe Ryan had been kind enough to organise.
Akoni noted Jeffrey's clothes with relief. The blond may be complaining, but he'd done as asked. Stepping close to Jeffrey, Akoni wrapped his arms around him and leaned in to kiss him, effectively silencing him. "Please trust me, Jeffrey. I want to be gone before people wake. I'll explain everything on the way, I promise." Akoni pulled away and turned to pick up his own robe. He'd worn only trousers and a shirt for the early visit to his father. Now he changed into the rest of the gear Ryan had provided. The boots weren't new but sturdy and a good fit, the robe thick and warm, perfect for the mountains.
"Tell me where we are going at least," Jeffrey huffed.
"Into the mountains."
"Yes, I got that much from our location and the clothes. Are you abandoning your throne?"
"No!" Akoni cried, his eyes opening wide. "No, Jeffrey," he repeated, shaking his head. "I promise I'm not leaving for good. We'll come back. I need to do this as part of my ascension. Please, I'll explain when we're out of the keep."
"I don't like it," Jeffrey said, his eyes narrowed, arms crossed in front of his chest.
"It'll be fine." Akoni tied his sword belt on and motioned for Jeffrey to do the same.
"Where are we going that we need swords?"
"I nearly always wear mine. I figured you'd feel more comfortable with one, too. It's only a precaution."
"I'm not at all happy with this. Whatever it is."
"Soon, Jeffrey."
Akoni picked up the rest of the gear Ryan had organised for them: two leather satchels, filled to the brim with things they'd need. Two bed rolls, two cloaks. He handed half to Jeffrey and motioned for him to be silent as they left the room. Locking the door from the outside, Akoni pocketed the key and turned down the hall.
Quiet but fast steps had them moving through the keep and up towards the temple. Ryan met them near it.
"Your Majesty, all is quiet. Everyone is still asleep."
"Thank you, Ryan. For all you've already done and will still be doing." Akoni gave him the key to his bedroom. "If you can buy us a day, I'll be happy. Any more would be amazing."
"I'll do my best, Your Majesty. Safe travels. May Gaia watch your step."
Akoni inclined his head, his lips quirking. He had no doubt Gaia would be tracking every one of his steps. Whether that was a good thing remained to be seen.
They climbed the stairs to the temple in silence, though Jeffrey's questioning gaze bore into Akoni. As the first rays of the sun lit the mountain peaks, they came out into the temple grounds. Pia, the high priestess Akoni had spoken to previously, stood near the goddesses, her head bowed as if in prayer. Akoni approached and waited.
When the sister raised her head and met Akoni's gaze, her lips were curved in a knowing smile. "The goddess has seen your quest."
Akoni inclined his head. Unsure how to respond, he remained silent.
"Come, I will show you where to begin." She led the way into the temple sanctum and past several silent passages, many of them carved into the mountain itself.
They stopped at an arch looking no different to every other door and passage they had come through.
"This path leads up into the mountains. For a time, there's only one way, then, later on you will need to let your feet guide you. Safe travels, brothers."
She disappeared without Akoni getting a chance to thank her. Taking a deep breath, Akoni shrugged and walked.
The passage was smaller than the others, the rocks less smooth, but it only continued for a short distance before opening up into a mountain path. Grass crunched beneath their feet, the rocks either side no longer walls hewn from the rock but sheer cliff face.
Hints of light peppered the sky, but the sun was as yet too low to reach into the crevasse they followed. Still, the path was even enough that they could move without need for a torch, and Akoni set a brisk pace. By midday, they no longer walked inside a crevasse, instead following the mountain's natural incline. Of the keep there was no sign. It had been swallowed by the mountains, or maybe they were the ones swallowed.
"Akoni, stop," Jeffrey said, startling the still mountain air.
Akoni narrowed his eyes at Jeffrey but halted. They had too far to go yet and no time to waste.
"Drink." Jeffrey held out his water skin, his heavy gaze fixed on Akoni. It was not a request, even less could it be ignored.
Akoni drank.
"Good. Now, we've obviously embarked on this pilgrimage of yours. Tell me, when's the last
time you walked anywhere outside the palace?"
Akoni opened his mouth to speak then paused, his brow creasing. "Extraneo probably."
Jeffrey nodded, his lips pursed. "Massive grounds, great for long walks along the beach or in the forest. Plenty of servants to do every odd job from felling trees to keeping out dangerous animals. And a nice warm meal waiting for you at the end of the journey. Quite comfortable."
"Don't patronise me, I'm perfectly capable of travelling on foot."
"Of course you are. You keep fit with plenty of routine exercise. Tell me, when's the last time you've had to find a stream to refill a water skin or go hunting for your dinner? In what direction are we walking right now? How long will the water we have last?"
"What's your point, Jeffrey?"
"My point is, I'm enormously grateful to both goddesses that you had enough wits to bring me with you at least, if not enough to tell me your plan. Did you think I'd go telling?" Jeffrey's eyes narrowed to slits, his voice hitching.
"Of course not!" Akoni wanted to step closer, but Jeffrey stopped him with a hand held up. "I thought the fewer people know, the better. The walls have ears. Even telling you, someone could hear and--"
"But you told Ryan."
"I needed his help."
"For a man who's supposed to be managing an empire, you're astoundingly stupid sometimes."
"Let's not get insulting, my tolerance has limits."
Jeffrey laughed. "By all means, what will you do? Leave me behind? I'll be back in the keep in less than half the time it took to get here. You...well, with the goddess on your side, you may even make it a few days."
"Jeffrey," Akoni snapped.
"You promised you'd explain everything. Now is the time. Explain."
"I was hoping to walk while I did."
"We've spent ages walking and not talking. So, let's take a break. We'll have some lunch."
There'd be no arguing with Jeffrey now. Akoni followed Jeffrey's example. Sitting on the grass, he pulled some food from his pack.
"This pilgrimage, tell me about it."
Akoni told him what little he knew, of the books about his ancestors and Toby's research. "Maybe it's a fool's quest. But I have to try," he finished, looking at Jeffrey, pleading with his eyes.
"So, you walked into the mountains with no particular survival skills, planning to find a temple that you don't know where it is or how many days it will take to find. And all we have is our swords and two bags full of whatever Ryan thought would be useful." Jeffrey blew out a breath. "Tempesta save us."
"It won't be far, a few days at most."
"A few days in which direction?" Jeffrey asked, an eyebrow raised.
"Well...eastward."
"And tell me, where lies east?"
Akoni looked around. Mountain peaks surrounded them on all sides, and the sun stood high its midday peak. "Fine, I don't know."
Jeffrey pointed but said nothing.
"How do you know?"
"Because we came from there." He pointed the opposite direction. "The sun's been on our right for most of the time we've been walking. Because I pay attention."
"Well, I knew I'd need you with me..."
"You brought me because you don't like being away from me. Not because you knew that what I know would save your life."
"Maybe both."
"I have a right mind to turn us around and take you back. You're not ready for this kind of thing."
"Says who?" Akoni demanded, rising and glowering at Jeffrey.
"Says me," Jeffrey replied, his voice calm, his gaze fixed on Akoni with perfect composure. The height difference seemed to have no effect.
"Tell me then, when would I be ready for this journey? When the rebels have overrun every remaining city? When they've killed anyone who opposes them?"
"What if you die out here? No one will ever even be likely to find your corpse. What happens to your empire when you don't return? How long will they wait for you?"
"Ryan has his orders. I've left instructions for Ignacio in case I don't return."
"Aren't you the clever prince," Jeffrey sneered.
"Well, storm it. Rather than giving out, help me. The sooner we find the temple, the sooner we can go back."
"I still don't see how you expect to find the temple when you've no idea where to go."
"Gaia will guide me."
"You're serious? That's the grand plan?"
"I know your belief is stronger than that of most. Don't tell me you don't think she can."
"Oh, I think she can all right. I don't know that you can. Wallowing in self-pity about the rough life you had isn't going to help you hear her."
Akoni clenched his fists, anger coursing through him. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. His nails dug into his palms, and he let his focus centre on the sensation for a moment. He breathed out slowly then took another deep breath. His magic stirred within him, swirling furiously. It felt somewhat like drinking too much water, the liquid splashing around inside him. It twirled and churned, the two parts mixing oddly, but they neither pained nor bothered him.
"Let's not fight, please," Akoni said quietly. "I have to do this. Even if it kills me, I have to try."
"You've no idea why I'm angry, do you?" Jeffrey asked, glaring at Akoni. "How can I not be, when every one of your actions is selfish and you don't even see it. Then again, you're a noble, a prince no less. Why I imagined you'd be different, I'll never know."
"Storm it, Jeffrey--Corvin! Don't pretend to be all high and mighty. You're the one who ran off without even a scrap of explanation."
"I left to escape your cursed court politics, and storming right I was, too. But of course, his selfishness has me dragged back against my will. What a mess!"
"If I was so selfish, wouldn't I have left you bleeding on the battlefield? Or dying in Argyros's keep?"
Jeffrey laughed. "Really? You didn't help me for me. You did it because you can't stand being away from me, for whatever messed up reasons. Everything you do is for you. The one chance you had to give back and you didn't take it. Instead of treating me as your consort, you ordered me around like you do your servants. Instead of asking me, an experienced soldier, you went to Ryan. He may have done a great job recently, considering the circumstances, he may even have a certain cleverness from his time on Corunia's streets, but he's a child, Akoni.
"I've escorted more than my share of noble offspring. Whether it was a hunting trip organised to allow a young lord to feel special for killing a cornered boar or something else. I have experience that would have served you well in preparing this trip. We haven't even got a bow or the most common tools for making traps. You're so storming lucky that I can improvise. But you don't even know to appreciate any of it. You're just another ignorant noble playing at games he doesn't begin to understand."
"I'm not selfish. I can't help the way my magic acts."
"Yeah, your storming magic. What a great excuse for everything. Learn to take some responsibility for your own actions. You ordered me on this trip. I'm here now. I'll be your guide and your guard. If you can't treat me like your consort, don't expect me to act like one." Jeffrey stalked off.
"Jeffrey." Akoni followed, trying to slip his hand into Jeffrey's but was brushed off. Angry and hurt, he wanted to scream at Jeffrey, but his magic had quietened. The way it had that first time they'd argued. Jeffrey had ranted, venting his anger, and Akoni had sat and listened. He'd been calm then, as he was now. Other times his magic would make his anger worse, but not this time. What did that mean? Was Jeffrey right? Akoni's actions had never been inspired by selfish reasons, but was that clear to others? He did have Jeffrey returned to the palace regardless of Jeffrey's own wishes. His magic had needed Jeffrey close, it still did. He had also ordered Jeffrey to become, and later remain, his guard, despite objections. He'd forced Jeffrey to embrace his noble lineage against his will.
For everything he'd done, he'd had his reasons. But objectively viewed, those reasons ma
y not always have been clear to others. To Jeffrey. Did Jeffrey truly understand the way they were linked by Akoni's magic? How could he, when Akoni himself didn't understand it?
What had made Akoni ask Ryan for help and not Jeffrey? There had been no conscious thought involved. Normally he'd go to Ignacio for anything that needed doing. But this, he couldn't have shared with his friend. He'd also wanted to surprise Jeffrey with the date and thought Ryan would be best able to help organise it, since there were no servants he trusted. Asking him for both favours at the same time had seemed sensible. Ryan was his guard now, and he'd proven himself loyal. If Akoni couldn't talk to his advisor, it had to be his guard.
Asking Jeffrey had never even occurred to him. But it was true, Jeffrey was a far more experienced soldier. Even if he didn't organise the trip himself, he might have known what was needed and been able to get help with the planning.
But had Akoni treated him more like a guard than a consort? Jeffrey had been talking to Valentin as equal. Also to his mother. Akoni had ensured they treated him as Akoni's partner, not his guard, from the moment they'd arrived. Including getting him the best medical care. The servants took Jeffrey's orders as they would those of any other noble. He'd left a note asking Jeffrey to be dressed and ready to leave when Akoni had returned. Was that the issue? Should he not have left a note and wasted time waiting for Jeffrey to be ready? He couldn't see how it would have made a difference. And yet, Jeffrey felt strongly about this.
"Jeffrey?"
"Yes, Your Highness."
"By Tempesta, don't do that," Akoni pleaded, grabbing Jeffrey's wrist, forcing him to a stop. "Please."
"I told you: you treat me like your guard, I'll act like it."
"I didn't... I'm sorry, Jeffrey. Truly, I didn't mean to upset you with my actions. Any of them. I see how I may have done things that can appear selfish to another. I swear to you, it was not my intention. Explaining my magic is a challenge, considering I hardly understand it myself. It affects me--"
Jeffrey wrenched his hand free. "You keep saying that. It's your excuse for everything. It's not good enough."
"I need you. Having you near makes me a better person, which in turns makes me a better king, which is good for the empire."
Ties of Magic (Curse of the Crown Book 2) Page 21
