by Sarah Bailey
Ellie’s fingers slipped between mine, clutching my hand tightly.
“She had her own bullshit with her parents. I had mine. It was the release we found with each other which somehow helped us navigate through those two years. Then she wanted to date this guy, Peter, from Uni and I was okay with it because I knew deep down it couldn’t last forever. Didn’t mean it hurt any less. Then she went missing after her parents were shot dead. I went out of my mind over it. My dad was worse than ever and my best friend was gone.”
I looked down, finding my heart pounding wildly in my chest.
“When she came back, she wasn’t the same. Something significant changed for her. It had everything to do with Aiden. I saw it straight away. That she was in love with him. Avery hadn’t ever looked at anyone the way she does with him. So I took my broken heart and I buried it, all the while using it as an excuse never to get close to anyone. I didn’t want anyone to see my damage. How everything my father did and said made me hate myself so much sometimes I felt like I was dying on the inside.”
When I looked back up at Ellie, I found her good eye glistening with unshed tears.
“It’s only now I know that really, Avery was my crutch. Meeting you made me realise I’ve not needed that crutch in a very long time.”
She was silent for a long moment, stroking her fingers down the back of my hand with her other one.
“You know what I think?”
“Hmm?”
“You said before that she started it… she initiated things.”
“Yeah, she did.”
She blinked and then really looked at me, her good eye fierce and intense.
“What she did fucked up the dynamic of your friendship. Not saying this was on purpose, of course, but she made you rely on her for that comfort and escape from the shit in your lives. It started on her terms and ended on them too. It doesn’t sound like she ever thought about the effect it had on you when she decided it was over. She took away the one thing you relied on even though you clearly still needed it at the time.”
I stared at her. Honestly, I’d never thought of it like that.
“I don’t know her, so I’m in no position to judge her actions, but what she did was fucked up because of what it did to you. How it made you feel all this time. Especially since she knew all about the shit your father did to you.”
My heart felt tight. As harsh as her words were, they weren’t exactly wrong. What happened between Avery and me was fucked up. I never saw it as anything but a complete mess which I felt entirely responsible for. Except, in reality, it was never all my fault and Ellie just confirmed that.
“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have said that,” she continued, looking away.
“No, don’t apologise. I don’t want you to think you can’t tell me the truth, Ellie. It wasn’t all her, it was my fault too.”
Tugging her hands away, she rubbed the good side of her face.
“I didn’t mean to sound like I was blaming her… I know you’re both responsible. Just don’t like what it did to you is all.”
I leant towards her, capturing her face and turning back towards me.
“Because you care?”
Her good eye met mine.
“I think I care too much,” she whispered. “You promise you meant what you said, about me being first?”
“Why would I ever lie to you, sweetheart?”
The honest truth was I couldn’t imagine wanting anyone else but Ellie now she was in my life. She was everything I never knew I wanted.
“I’m terrified of how much I need you.”
Need. Not want but need. Ellie needed me.
“I’m right here. I’m yours if you’ll have me. Just say the word. Tell me you’re mine.”
Ellie didn’t speak for the longest time. Her eye was intent on mine as if searching for something in me. Did she think I wasn’t telling the truth? Did she have any idea how desperate I was for her? All for her. Her sweet nature. The purity of her little soul even though darkness lurked within her too.
“I want to be yours,” she told me, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Then say it. Tell me.”
Her lips parted, a breathy little pant expelling from her lungs.
“I’m yours, James.”
If she wasn’t hurting, I would’ve crushed her to me but I didn’t. I stroked her cheek with my thumb.
“Stay here.”
She blinked as I pulled away and got off the bed. I padded out into the kitchen, digging through the drawers until I found a bunch of napkins from a party I had ages ago. I tugged one out, grabbed a pen and wrote on it before signing my name.
I carried it back through to the bedroom and dropped it in her lap before sitting next to her again. Ellie picked it up, frowning as her eyes scanned across it.
I promise to keep you safe.
I promise to never let anyone come between us.
I promise to always put you first.
I promise to be yours for as long as you’ll have me.
James Benson
She carefully placed the napkin on the bedside table before turning to me, grabbing me by the face with both hands and pulling me towards her until our noses brushed together.
“Does this mean we’re together now?” she asked.
“That’s what I was hoping.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Everything you’ve done for me… but most of all for making me happy.”
My heart got all tight in my chest all over again. This girl made me feel all kinds of things I’d never experienced before.
“Will you let me kiss you now?”
She didn’t respond because her lips were on mine and all other thoughts went out of my head. I ran my tongue over her split lip. She whimpered in response but didn’t pull away. No, Ellie’s hands dropped from my face and she tugged me closer.
“You’re still hurt, sweetheart,” I told her as I pulled away slightly.
“Then just be gentle.”
I groaned, shaking my head. She had no idea how fucking tempting she was. How much I wanted to peel away her clothes and bury my cock in her tight heat. I wouldn’t though. Not the day after she got beaten up by her father.
My phone ringing made me pull away completely and grab it off the bedside table. I winced when I saw who it was.
“I have to take this.”
“Who is it?”
“Avery.”
The look in Ellie’s eyes made me want to pull her into my arms and tell her she had nothing to worry about, but I couldn’t.
“Hey,” I said as I answered.
“Are you okay? What happened yesterday?”
I raked my fingers through my hair with my free hand.
“I’m fine. I’m sorry I ran out on you guys like that. Are you and Aiden okay?”
“It doesn’t matter about me, what happened to you? You said your friend was in trouble. What friend? Are they okay?”
I was going to have to tell Avery about Ellie regardless of whether I was ready to or not.
“No, she’s not okay, but she’s safe now.”
“She…”
“Yes, Ave, she.”
I watched Ellie carefully. She was staring down at the covers, her fingers bunched in them again. She was nervous and I could hardly blame her. Whilst I wasn’t exactly happy that my girl wasn’t a fan of my best friend, it wasn’t like I could really do anything about it. Ellie didn’t know Avery yet. She only knew what I’d told her about our past. Avery and I weren’t the same people we were back then.
“I knew you were hiding something from me.”
“I came over yesterday to explain, but then you had your shit with Aiden and I didn’t get a chance to. Have you two sorted it out yet?”
I heard her sigh.
“No. We haven’t. He’s taking Afie to Tina’s so I’m waiting for him to come back. W
ill you tell me now?”
I reached out, taking one of Ellie’s hands and giving it a squeeze. I didn’t let go.
“I met a girl.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, she’s special. Really fucking special, Ave.”
Ellie looked up at me, her cheeks stained red.
“And you kept this a secret?”
“I wasn’t sure if anything would happen between us. I’m telling you now, aren’t I?”
“This isn’t a Cassie situation all over again, is it?”
I frowned.
“What? No, of course not. Why would you even ask that?”
“You’re not exactly giving me much to go on here.”
I sighed, running my thumb over the back of Ellie’s hand.
“Ellie, her name is Ellie. She’s smart, strong and incredibly beautiful.” And I’m totally falling for her, but I don’t want to scare the shit out of her so I can’t tell you that.
“And?”
“And you just have to meet her to find out the rest.”
“James!”
I shrugged when Ellie raised an eyebrow at me.
“What?”
“Honestly, it’s like pulling fucking teeth getting anything out of you.”
I heard a door slam in the background.
“You’re just nosey.”
“Am not.”
“Who are you talking to?” I heard Aiden’s voice filter through the phone.
“James. He just told me he has a girlfriend.”
I hadn’t exactly said that, but Ellie and I were together, so I suppose she was my girlfriend. I’d never really called a girl that before. What we shared seemed more than that though if I was honest.
“Well, good on him. You and I need to talk.”
“I know, just give me a minute… Sorry, I have to go, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t going to tell me everything.”
I rolled my eyes. I doubted I’d ever get out of that even if I wanted to. Avery was like a dog with a bone sometimes.
“Yeah okay, I’ll talk to you later,” I said.
“Love you.”
“Me too.”
I put my phone back on the bedside table and cupped Ellie’s cheek. She gave me a sad smile and it tugged at my heart.
“You never told her about me.”
Well shit. I knew this would come back to bite me in the arse.
“Are you mad?”
“No… I just don’t understand why.”
“I’m not going to make any excuses. I should’ve told her before… The first person I told was Liora, right before I saw you on my birthday. The thing is, I knew back then I wanted you, but I didn’t think you liked me that way.”
She shook her head.
“I did. I really did, I just didn’t know what attraction felt like until I met you so it confused me at first.”
Her hand came up and she tugged my face closer.
“I want you so much and I hate that I’m hurt so you won’t do anything.”
Her lips brushed against mine. My resolve was at breaking point. She kept pushing.
“Please,” she whispered. “I’m so wet at the thought of having you inside me.”
“Is that what you were thinking about when I was on the phone?”
She nodded, a blush rising up her cheeks. I bit my lip.
Fuck. Fuck this. I can’t keep saying no. Not when she’s looking at me like that.
I let go of her hand and tucked mine under the covers, dipping underneath her shorts and finding the truth of her statement when my fingers met her pussy.
“Shit, Ellie,” I groaned. “You have no idea how much I want you.”
“Then take me.”
I was fucking done. Pulling back, my hands went to my jeans, unbuttoning them and tugging them down.
“Bottoms off, sweetheart.”
Her smile was electrifying. She shifted out of the covers and pulled her shorts off, her underwear following suit. I tugged my cock from my boxers, stroking it.
“Come here,” I told her, putting my other hand out.
She moved towards me and crawled into my lap, straddling my thighs. My other hand went between her legs, stroking her clit. She moaned, gripping my shoulders as her good eye met mine.
“Good girl. Now show me what you want from me.”
Shifting closer, she went up on her knees as I held my cock for her. I grunted when she started to sink down on it. My hand went to her hip, guiding her lower. Her pussy was so hot and wet. Fuck, I’d missed being inside her so much. My sweet, submissive girl. It had only been days since we’d first slept together, but hell, if it hadn’t left an impression on me.
Her hands tightened on my shoulders when the last inch slipped inside her, a low moan escaping her lips.
“Is that better, sweetheart? Did you just need my cock? Need me to fuck you?”
“So much. I’ve wanted you inside me for days. I was stupid to think I could be without you.”
I smiled, pulling her closer so I could kiss her. She slowly rose and fell on me with my encouragement. I didn’t want to aggravate her chest too much so I thrust my hips up in time with hers.
Shit, this felt so good. Being inside the girl I was falling for. This beautiful being who completely enraptured me. We knew each other’s darker parts. There were still so many things we needed to share, but there was time for that. Time to learn what made each other tick.
It wasn’t a frantic rush to the finish line. We rocked against each other, one of my hands on her hip and the other wrapped around the back of her neck, holding her close to me.
“I’m not letting you go,” I told her, my voice low. “You’re mine now.”
“Yours,” she breathed.
I’d never been a possessive person. I’d never make Ellie do anything she didn’t want to or stop her being who she was. But that fucking beast urging me to claim her took over. The part of me feeding off her submission.
“My girl.”
She kissed me. It was all tongues and lips devouring each other. I momentarily lost control of my fucking senses in her until I felt the metallic taste of her blood. Her split lip had reopened slightly. I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth, trying to stem the flow. She moaned, her movements becoming more erratic as she rode me.
“Please, oh fuck, please, James.”
My hand left the back of her neck and fell between her legs, finding her sweet spot and stroking her there until she fell off the edge. Her eye rolled back in her head. I released her lip and watched her in the throes of ecstasy as she came all over my cock. Her pussy was clenching so damn hard around me I could barely breathe let alone hold on.
“Fuck,” I grunted. “Fuck, Ellie.”
I shoved her down, making her take all of me as I came deep inside her tight heat. Panting, I reached up and pressed her forehead to mine. Nothing and no one would keep me from this girl. Protecting her was my only priority. Keeping her safe from her father and anyone else who tried to harm her.
You’re mine now, Ellie Kirkwood. All mine.
Chapter Twenty
Ellie
James sighed as he sat down on the sofa next to me with a letter in his hands. He raked his hand through his hair and fiddled with it for a moment. I wasn’t sure whether to ask him what it was or not. I’d been sat watching a drama on Netflix whilst he was taking a phone call regarding work. It wasn’t like I asked him to take the day off or anything.
“You okay?” I asked, not liking the weird vibe I was getting from him.
“My dad keeps writing to me.”
My heart sunk. I knew how he felt about his father and the shit the man had put him through.
“What does he want?”
He tore open the envelope and unfolded the letter.
“For me to visit him in prison.”
“You going to?”
“No, but I’m getting fed up with this
. He keeps writing all this shit and it’s getting in my head.”
I put my hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. He looked over at me, a sad smile on his face. His dad’s words affected him deeply. Prolonged verbal abuse did that to people.
“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to put up with it.”
He handed me the letter.
“Will you read it for me?”
I stared at him for a moment.
“Why?”
“Reading this shit is hard for me. This is the fourth one. I’ll give it to Dante when he gets here. He’s been getting rid of them for me.”
Even though I was wary, I’d just about do anything for James so I spread the letter out and began to read it to him.
Dear James,
I take it from your lack of response you do not want to communicate with me. I understand you’re still angry. You expect me to ask for forgiveness for what I’ve done. I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed. Regrets are worthless and for the weak. None of you are grateful for the things I’ve done for you. You grew up with every advantage and yet you all banded against me and left me to languish in prison. Yes, I pled guilty because I did all those things to you. There was no denying it. It was useless to do so with all the evidence stacked against me.
You all think I deserved to be punished and perhaps I do. Are you going to punish me for the rest of my life? You can hate me all you want. I’m still your father. Nothing you do or say will change that fact.
Just come see me, James.
Let’s talk.
Your father
I put the letter down on the coffee table, my hands trembling. His father’s intention was to manipulate his son. Wear him down until he snapped and went to visit Zachary in prison. I couldn’t imagine what that was like for James. To have to put up with the constant belittling and now this.
I shuffled closer to him. He seemed to sense what I was doing because he hooked an arm around me and allowed me to curl both of mine around his waist. I lay my head on his shoulder, ignoring how it aggravated the bruises on my chest which now ached in protest.
