by Sarah Bailey
“I’ll never be normal. I know that… but I want a normal relationship where they don’t tell me my sister shouldn’t be involved in our lives. That I shouldn’t tell her personal and intimate details. She’s my twin. How can I be expected to just cut her out of everything when she’s the other half of me?”
“Did someone say that to you? That your sister shouldn’t be involved in your lives?”
I didn’t look at him as I threw my hands up.
Yes, a complete arsehole who I could quite happily never see again.
“Liam did.”
“And who’s Liam?”
I heard the note of irritation in his voice, but I ignored it, too wrapped up in my memories of how much Liam had messed with my head.
“My ex, who basically made my life hell for two years and made me swear off men after he dumped me for some stupid leggy blonde with a set of fake tits.”
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, tears welled in my eyes because the thought of Liam ripped into me like a knife. I stopped pacing and crumpled to the floor in front of the sofa, covering my face with my hands. Why the hell had I mentioned that piece of shit? And why did he still affect me? We’d broken up three years ago.
I didn’t look up when I felt the heat of him next to me even though it practically scorched my skin. Not only was I embarrassed because I was now crying, but I felt weird having mentioned Liam to him. I didn’t want him to think I was childish or immature. A huge part of me wanted him to see me as a woman. A woman he could still find desirable.
I felt him place something in my lap. Peering out through my fingers, I could see a box of tissues sitting there. So that’s all it was. I cried harder, feeling utterly ridiculous. Had Jen cried in her session? Did he think I was being stupid?
“This is so embarrassing,” I muttered.
“If it helps, I’ve had a lot of people crying in my office before.”
I jumped, dropping my hands and turning my head to look at him. He was sitting next to me on the floor which I hadn’t expected.
“In their first session?”
“You’d be surprised by the percentage.”
His green eyes sparked with amusement and, somehow, that made my tears stop. I tugged out some tissues from the box and dabbed my eyes.
“Do you want to tell me more about Liam?”
“Other than he was a dick and I hope he gets hit by a train?”
He held back a smile when I said that.
“That’s a little… violent, but yes, other than that.”
I sighed, pulling the tissue this way and that with my fingers.
“Do you really want to hear about it?”
“It’s not about what I want to hear. I’m here to listen to anything you wish to tell me. So if you want to talk about Liam, you can.”
It was hard to think with him sitting so close to me. It would’ve been better if he’d stayed on the armchair where he was out of reach and I wasn’t tempted to touch him. My fingers twitched. Why did he have this weird hold on me? My eyes trailed down his face to his mouth. I remembered what his lips felt like against my neck. I bit down on mine, but it didn’t help.
When my eyes met his again, I could see his thoughts had drifted too. He had that feral glint to them. My throat felt dry and my core clenched.
“Fiona…”
“Please call me Fi,” I whispered, swallowing hard.
He looked pained when I said that and I wasn’t sure why until he spoke again.
“What happened between us can’t happen again.”
My stomach dropped as did my eyes. It was the acknowledgement I’d been waiting for but I hadn’t been expecting it to hurt.
“I know that. I wasn’t… I didn’t… it’s not why I’m here.”
Except that was a lie. A huge part of me craved a repeat of that night.
When I heard him move, I looked up again. I thought he might’ve gotten up, but he hadn’t. He was coming closer to me. My heartbeat pounded in my ears.
What is he doing?
When he reached me, he placed his hands on either side of me on the sofa. His knees were touching mine as he leant towards me. His breath fluttered across my jaw, but he kept moving until his lips were almost pressed against my ear.
“It’s not that I don’t want you because I do. I think about your tight little pussy and how perfectly it fit around my cock. I haven’t been able to get you off my mind and it’s driving me crazy, Fiona. You drive me crazy and the thought of someone else touching you pisses me off.”
Holy shit.
If I wasn’t wet before, I certainly was now. My pussy throbbed. His voice had got dark and seductive again and it was killing me. I wanted to touch him so much. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted lips, tongues and bodies clashing together in explosive ecstasy.
“I shouldn’t have fucking said that, but I can’t help it. I need to know… I need you to tell me if you feel the same way.”
I could hardly breathe. His words had me completely undone. If I admitted I did, what would he do about it? He said it couldn’t happen again so what was the point in going there? The thing is I didn’t feel like I could lie to him. If I started down that path, then I might as well throw therapy out of the window.
“I shouldn’t answer that, you’re my therapist,” I whispered.
“I know I am, but I need you to tell me the truth.”
I swallowed. All my blood felt like it was rushing to my core.
“I… can’t stop thinking about you.”
“No?”
My fists clenched at my sides to stop myself reaching out to him. Why did I have to know what it felt like to have him against me? This attraction would be so much easier to navigate if we’d never slept together.
“When I look at you, I remember the way it felt to have you inside me. The things you said. The way you looked almost feral when you were taking me.”
His lips grazed against the shell of my ear and I almost lost it. That simple touch was too much. My breath came fast as I dug my nails into my palms.
“What else?”
“I’ve never come that hard in my life. Everything about what we did was so intense. I can’t get you out of my head no matter how hard I try. You give me vivid fantasies I can’t turn off. I dream about you and wake up hot and bothered.”
I wasn’t lying. Every night since it happened last week, I’d dreamt about him and had to touch myself when I woke up so I could relieve the ache between my legs.
He hadn’t moved the entire time I spoke. Having him so close was suffocating. I needed him to move. Either to touch me or get as far away from me as possible because this was torture.
“What kind of fantasies?”
Now I’d started talking, it seemed like I couldn’t stop.
“You taking me across your—”
“No, little one… I want to hear dirty words spilling out of your pretty mouth.”
I exhaled sharply. He called me little one again. My insides were all twisted up and I couldn’t stand it. I ached to feel him.
“You want to hear me say the words fuck and cock?”
He groaned, the deep sound ringing in my ear.
“Fuck yes.”
I didn’t use those words often. Shit was my go to swear word. Mum used to tell Dante off for saying fuck and told us it wasn’t polite to use those terms. I guess it stuck with me. But he said to use them and I needed to do what he told me to.
“After I walked in here and sat down, all I could think about was you bending me over your desk and fucking me without mercy… then I thought about crawling into your lap whilst you were sat in your armchair and riding your cock.”
“Fuck, that’s so fucking tempting, Fi,” he hissed.
It was the first time he’d used my nickname and it gave me butterflies, which was crazy considering how turned on I was right then.
“I want you,” I whispered.
It felt like cold water being thrown all over me. I could tell him I didn’t want to be his client any longer, but then I’d have questions from Jen and Dante. Besides, I knew I needed to work through my issues, so I couldn’t just say screw it.
“Then why did you want to know how I felt?”
“You’re not the only one with problems. I’m impulsive, selfish and I take what I want when I want it. Except this time I can’t because it means risking everything I’ve built.”
“I could see someone else.”
He growled in my ear and it made me shiver.
“No. I’ve never given up on a client and I’m not about to start now. I’m going to help you and maybe after all of that, we can revisit this if we both still feel the same way.”
His words made me deflate entirely. Waiting until I was better. That sounded like hell. Who knew how long it would take to work through all of my issues?
“Okay,” I whispered.
He pulled away then and he didn’t look at me as he stood up and straightened his suit. The effect I’d had on him was clear as day. He turned around and walked towards his desk, keeping his back to me.
“Next time, we will keep an appropriate distance from each other and we’ll pick up from where you left off about your ex.”
His voice sounded a little gravelly and the way he said ex gave me the distinct impression he’d rather listen to me talk about anything else. It’s not like he had a choice in the matter. He was the one who insisted he could keep treating me.
I looked up at the digital clock on the wall above his desk and realised my hour was up. Slowly, I got to my feet as I placed the tissue box on the sofa. I slipped my heels back on and straightened my clothes.
“Okay… I’ll see you next week then.”
“Yes, you will. Have a good one, Fiona.”
“Uh, you too.”
And with that, I practically scurried out of his office. His receptionist smiled at me as she got my coat and helped me into it but I kept my eyes averted.
As I walked out of the building, I couldn’t help feeling relieved all over again that Jen and I had decided we weren’t going to discuss our therapy sessions. There was no way in hell I could explain what just happened. Especially not the part about me lusting after our therapist’s cock. Admittedly, it wasn’t just the sex, it was him. I didn’t know him but I wanted to. There was something about Mr Green Eyes which was dark and twisted and I was a little ashamed to admit I was drawn to that side of him.
No wonder I needed therapy if I was getting all hot and bothered about the thought of a man dragging me down into the darkness and keeping me there. That wasn’t normal. And I was certain Doctor Jensen Andrews wasn’t normal either. He’d said it himself. He was impulsive and he’d proved that by his actions the night we’d met.
Could he really treat me like just another one of his clients?
Only time would tell.
Chapter Five
Jensen
I was fucking miserable. Yes, I’d done the right thing by telling her we couldn’t sleep together again, but it didn’t help when all I could think about was her words that day.
“I can’t get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.”
She wasn’t the only one suffering. Fiona Benson wouldn’t leave my thoughts either. At night, I lay in bed stroking my cock to thoughts of her lips, her dark hair curling around her shoulders, hair I wanted to pull and twist around my fingers, and most of all, her slender neck which I wanted to wrap my hand around.
In my thirty eight years, I’d never wanted a girl more than I did her. I knew now she was twenty seven which made her eleven years younger than me. The age gap wasn’t really the issue even though it was questionable. She still had years ahead of her to find the right man who’d treat her well. My feelings about her being with someone else didn’t matter. She wasn’t mine. She couldn’t be mine. Even when we were done with her treatment, it would still be wrong. I was not and had never been relationship material.
That’s what she wanted. A relationship. A normal one where the man could accept she was a twin and it gave her a unique relationship with her sister. Hell, it pissed me off her ex made her think a man couldn’t accept her for the way she was. There was nothing wrong with her closeness to her sister, but clearly this guy had fucked with her head. If I ever met him, I would make sure he understood he couldn’t treat women that way. I’d break his fucking legs for hurting my little one.
She’s not yours, you prick!
I sounded jealous and to be honest, I was. Fuckwit, as I’d so aptly named him in my head, was a Class A twat who didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as her, let alone have spent two years with Fiona. How the hell was I going to sit and listen to her talk about him without wanting to plant my fist into his face? The thought of him had made her cry in my office for fuck’s sake. And seeing her cry made something inside me snap.
I needed to stop analysing all of this shit even though it’s what I did for a living. I did not need to psychoanalyse myself since I was already fully aware of where my issues lay. Those weren’t getting fixed any time soon so it didn’t matter.
I tapped my fingers on my desk, wondering how I was going to get through this session with Jennifer when all I could think about is how much I wanted to fuck her sister. Pulling up my notes on her, I read through them again to make sure I wasn’t mixing the two of them up. It was Fiona who’d mentioned the nightmares so I couldn’t bring that up with Jennifer until she talked about it. Treating them at the same time wasn’t exactly my smartest of ideas. I was deep in this mess now whether I liked it or not.
I buzzed Tracy to let her know I was ready and a couple of minutes later, Jennifer Benson walked in. Her dark hair was piled high on top of her head and she was wearing black slim-fit trousers and a black blouse. Her nails were painted bright red to match her heels.
I was beginning to notice the subtle differences between the twins. Fiona fidgeted far more than her sister, but I figured it might have something to do with being around me rather than a habit. Jennifer had been twisting a ring on her right hand around and around when she was talking about her family in our first session together.
“I’ve had a shit week,” she announced without saying hello, throwing herself down on the sofa and grabbing a throw pillow.
That was something they had in common, hugging pillows to their chests.
“Do you want to tell me about it?” I asked as I stood up from my desk and walked around it.
As I sat in my armchair, I picked up my tablet from the side table so I could take notes whilst she spoke.
“I want to strangle my brother. He’s so… annoying.”
“Which one?”
“Ugh, James! God, sometimes he drives me fucking nuts.”
The very big difference between Fiona and Jennifer was the way they spoke. Jennifer had a bit of a potty mouth and her sister didn’t swear quite as much. But when she did, fuck it made my cock hard.
Do not think about that!
“So we were having dinner at Dante and Liora’s on Saturday and James stole my phone. Of course, he went on Tinder and started taking the piss out of all my matches. I don’t have the best taste in men, but Fi’s been vetting them for me.”
I almost choked on my own breath. I didn’t think Fiona had the best taste in men either considering she dated Fuckwit and slept with… well… me. That was a thought I had to keep to myself.
“And don’t even get me started on Fi. She’s been moping around all week like a loser. She won’t tell me what’s up with her, but I swear to god something is wrong.”
I stiffened, well aware of why her sister was ‘moping’. Not that I liked to blow my own trumpet, but it was me she was miserable over. It made my chest feel tight, knowing she was suffering just as much as me. What
the fuck was wrong with the two of us? It had been one quick fuck in the toilets and it should’ve meant nothing. Neither of us should want more.
Maybe you should just fuck her out of your system.
Not happening. If I gave in then I might as well kiss my career goodbye because Fiona Benson would probably ruin me for good. Not because she’d report me. She had just as much to lose by causing another scandal for her family, but she and I would be terrible for each other. I couldn’t give her the relationship she wanted.
“I wish she would tell me. It’s like ever since she had that one night stand, she’s been acting all jumpy and shit. Like she isn’t comfortable in her own skin any longer.”
My head whipped up from where I was tapping on my tablet, fingers stilling on the screen.
“Excuse me, what?”
Jennifer leant forward, her blue eyes twinkling with mischief.
“My sister, who is incredibly straitlaced about sex and men, apparently let some guy fuck her in the toilets of James’ girlfriend Ellie’s bar. I couldn’t believe it. Fi’s only had one boyfriend and he was a cunt. She’s dated a couple of guys since, but nothing serious. This isn’t something she’d usually do. No wonder she’s all messed up over it.”
I had a hard time keeping myself in check. Fiona told Jennifer we had sex. What the actual fuck? Was she crazy?
She didn’t say it was you. She said some guy.
And Fiona wasn’t quite as straitlaced as Jennifer was making out. Not if what she said to me about her fantasies was anything to go by.
Hold on, Frankie’s is owned by their brother’s girlfriend?
I’d learnt a hell of a lot about my little one in the last five minutes. Things I couldn’t reveal to her that I knew until she told me. I wanted to drop my head into my hands. As if this mess couldn’t get any worse.
“But fuck it, she needed to get laid. Six months is a long time to go without.”
Listening to Jennifer talk about Fiona like this was actual torture. Images of her with her hands on that sink counter flashed through my head as did the way she’d come apart on my cock. I shook myself, needing to keep my focus on Jennifer and not her sister.
