by Elle Gray
It was like Brock always knew exactly what to do.
Twenty-One
Once again, the diner was almost empty as Brock and Olivia entered. Olivia felt reassured by the fact, knowing that she was in a safe space to talk about her little breakdown in the car. She still felt the urge to run out of there and get back to work, but she realized that her feelings were unhealthy. She’d become obsessed with the job lately and she needed to at least take a break to eat.
They slid back into the same booth they sat in last time and Olivia forced herself to look over the menu properly this time. She usually had a pretty healthy diet, aside from her copious amounts of coffee, but she decided that if there was ever a time to treat herself, it was then. She ordered bacon-loaded fries with a coffee. The waitress brought her a mug and poured her a cup, but Olivia told her to just leave the carafe. Brock tutted.
“You and your coffee... you’re really inseparable, aren’t you?”
“I definitely drink more coffee than water,” Olivia said. She didn’t want to have to talk about everything going on in her head. She’d rather just joke around for the rest of the day and try to forget the anxiety growing inside her. But Brock was looking at her intently, and she knew he was about to get back down to business. He suddenly wasn’t his usual jokey self and it made her feel strange, like she was peeling back a new layer of his personality.
“Alright Olivia, lay it on me. What’s going on in that head of yours? And don’t say you’re fine because I can tell you’re not. I can’t have you falling apart when we’re working, so now is the time to tell me everything.”
Olivia sighed. What exactly was she supposed to tell him? She was traumatized, quite simply. She’d spent years of her life being forced to reflect on the strange things that had happened to her family, and now she had to face up to the fact that she was failing at her case. She felt like she was constantly walking on hot coals, wincing with every step as she was reminded of all her failures.
“This isn’t just about today, is it?”
Olivia shook her head with a sigh. She topped off her coffee and took a long sip, letting the scalding liquid drizzle down her throat.
“Do you ever feel like life is just more complicated than anyone else could ever comprehend? That you’ve got so many demons that you’ll never be able to shake them?”
Brock tentatively shook his head. “Not really.”
Olivia sighed. “I guess that’s a good thing. Maybe it is just me. The truth is, life has been really tough these past few years and... I don’t like to admit it to myself, but sometimes, it overwhelms me. I’ve been like this before, but I always get myself out of my rut. I just need some time... or a win, I guess.”
Brock leaned back in his seat with a frown. “Is this because of what happened to your sister? Because of course, that makes sense.”
“It’s not just that. My family... we’ve got a strange history. There’s a lot I don’t talk about with other people, and I guess now—well, it affects my work sometimes. This case just feels so personal to me.”
“Why is that?”
Olivia pressed her lips together, unsure how much to unload on Brock. They’d grown close over the span of the case and she certainly considered him her friend, but she didn’t want to freak him out. She knew that everyone who knew about her past treated her differently, like she was some fragile thing. Perhaps she was, but she didn’t want to be seen that way. She’d joined the FBI feeling unstoppable. Now, here she was, feeling like she was being consumed by her own emotions.
“My mom disappeared,” she whispered after a long silence. “After my sister died, she just disappeared off the face of the Earth. Of course, we searched for her, and we got the police involved, but they never found anything. It was just like with Sophia. Her phone was still on the bedside table. She didn’t take anything personal with her. She couldn’t have had any money with her because her debit card was untouched. She didn’t use her passport to leave the country... it was really like she was just wiped off the face of the Earth.”
“You keep saying she didn’t take anything with her. Do you think she went of her own accord? That she just went somewhere without telling anyone?”
Olivia chewed her lip. She hadn’t even realized she’d phrased it that way. “Not exactly... but I find it so hard to believe that she was taken. Anyone who knew my mother feels the same. She is so strong. She’s a force to be reckoned with, and she wouldn’t go down easily. I don’t know what happened to her, but to say that she was taken or something just feels wrong. She’s too smart to get caught out like that, too strong to let anyone lay hands on her. But regardless of what I think, she’s gone now. No one has found a single lead to suggest where she might be. And maybe that’s what makes this case so complicated for me. I feel so desperate to solve an impossible case, to prove that it can be done. I feel like maybe if I can do this, then I’ll somehow magically find out what happened to my sister the night she died, or figure out what happened to my mom. It’s ridiculous, I know, but somewhere in the back of my head, I have so much hope. And it’s making my life ridiculously difficult.”
“But you can’t give up. And honestly, Olivia, I know you won’t. You’ve got to believe that things will get better. And you will. That’s how people live their lives,” Brock told her with a confidence she wished she could grasp. “And after everything you’ve been through, you have every right to feel everything you’re feeling. But keeping it all bottled up inside you isn’t going to help. You need to open up a bit, Olivia. I’m your partner now. You can talk to me about anything, you know?”
Olivia didn’t feel like telling him that despite the fact she’d told him her deepest darkest secrets, she still barely knew anything about him. She held back from saying it because she knew he was only trying to help her, and she appreciated that. She sighed and topped off her coffee yet again, taking a sip and feeling the buzz of the caffeine in her throbbing head.
“I know that. I guess I just got caught up in everything. Sometimes I need to just stop for a minute and tell myself to get it together. I’m usually okay. I don’t usually go off the rails like this, I swear. But lately, things have just been overwhelming me more than usual. And with this case, it feels like whoever is doing this is just watching us fail and is laughing at us. That’s what I mean when I say it feels personal. I’ve spent the last five years feeling like there must be a target on my back. First my sister dies, and then my mother goes missing, so there’s some part of me that believes that I must be next. Is that crazy?”
Brock pursed his lips, considering his answer carefully. Then he looked her in the eye, his eyes gentle. “No. It’s not crazy. I’d feel the same in your situation. That’s a lot for one family to bear. I can understand why you might feel like someone has it out for you and your family, even if the cases aren’t connected.”
Olivia nodded, feeling relieved that she wasn’t just being some paranoid idiot. She’d known all along that her situation was hard to understand and relate to, but hearing Brock tell her that she wasn’t going crazy was an unexpected balm of comfort. She let out a deep sigh and it felt like some of her worry and anxiety exhaled with her breath.
“This whole thing is partly why I moved to Belle Grove, you know,” she continued. “It wasn’t just that I was tired of living in the city. I wanted to go somewhere where nobody knew anything about my past, where I could get a fresh start. I felt like my friends would walk on eggshells around me, worrying about upsetting me because I went through a rough time. It was suffocating. And I know it’s crazy, but I somehow feel like I’m hiding out by living here. Like I’m so off the beaten path that if someone wants to hunt me down, they’ll have a hard time finding me. Which is crazy, of course. I’d blend in better in the city, for sure. But I have felt a little better since coming here. Or at least, I was feeling better until all of this started.”
“And now it feels like the past is catching up with you?”
Olivia nodded.
She couldn’t believe she’d been so honest with Brock. She had to admit that some part of her was scared that he’d pull away now that he knew all of her crazy past. She knew she had a lot of baggage, and she was used to having to lug it around on her own. But Brock didn’t seem fazed. In fact, his face didn’t change at all during the conversation.
Olivia guessed he had to deal with some level of the unusual with work just as she did, but it felt good that he wasn’t changing his views on her just because she’d revealed all of her demons. She’d never admit it aloud, but she desperately wanted Brock to view her in a good light. She wanted him to like her, and more so with each passing day.
“You know that the case isn’t your fault, don’t you? You’re doing everything you can and more.”
“I know that, I really do. I’m just beating myself up because it feels like I should be able to do something more about it all. I mean, it’s my job to figure these things out.”
“But here’s the thing, Olivia. You’re only human. There’s only so much that you can do with the information we have. And even if you could have a direct insight into the kidnapper’s mind, you still wouldn’t be able to figure out what’s going on in there. Not just because the human mind is complicated, but because you’re not a psychopath. We can study psychology all we want, but because we’re not psychopaths, we’ll never fully understand why they do what they do. And let’s be honest, Olivia, you might be having a tough time and your mind might be in turmoil, but you’re about as far from a psychopath as a person can possibly get.”
Olivia barked out a surprised laugh, somehow flattered by the comment. “Man, you really know how to make a woman feel good,” she joked. Brock burst out laughing, tilting his head back as he did. That opened the floodgates and both of them collapsed into a fit of hysterics.
“I like to think so,” Brock finally managed with a twinkle in his eye. He reached across the table and took Olivia’s hand in his. She jolted at the sudden contact, surprised by the gesture, but she didn’t pull away. She didn’t ever want to pull away. “You can stop beating yourself up now,” Brock told her firmly. “You’re one of the best agents I’ve ever worked with. I know Jonathan doesn’t appreciate you half as much as he should—and I know some of your theories go overlooked—but I believe in your ideas. You’re great at your job, and I know I would’ve fallen apart on this case too if I didn’t have you alongside me.”
“Because I’m falling apart enough for both of us?”
Brock smiled. “No. Because I trust you. I know that if this case is solvable, then you’ll get to the bottom of it all.”
“Well, it feels nice that you trust me. I don’t know if your faith is misplaced, but thanks for trusting me.”
“Any time. Now, it’s time for you to trust me. After we’re done here, I’m sending you home to bed.”
“But—”
“No buts, Knight. The bags under your eyes are getting bigger by the second. I know you haven’t been sleeping well. You need a solid twelve hours of rest and then you can come at this case with a new energy tomorrow.”
“But we already wasted so much time today. We could be missing something crucial—”
“Then I’ll stay up. I’ll sleep on the sofa for a few hours later, but I’m well-rested. I can spend time looking into all the notes we’ve gathered so far. I know you’re finding it hard to relax right now, but you’ll be much more useful once you’ve slept. It’s non-negotiable, Olivia.”
She smiled and lifted her mug to her lips, but he snatched it out of her hand and put it and the carafe on the table behind him. “And I’m cutting you off. You’ll be bouncing off the walls all night.”
The waitress returned with their food and Brock rubbed his hands together in excitement. Olivia’s stomach gurgled and she suddenly realized that she hadn’t eaten all day. She couldn’t believe herself, but she asked the waitress for a glass of water.
Brock was right. She really needed to start taking better care of herself. Starting with eating a big meal and then getting some rest. It was like she needed to give herself permission to do what’s best for her, and now that she’d given herself that permission, her body was craving it all at once. But she wasn’t going to neglect her needs anymore. She was going to make sure that she put herself first again.
And by helping herself out, she was going to solve the case.
Twenty-Two
Olivia and Brock headed back from the diner together at around five, and as soon as they got back to the cabin, Brock poured Olivia a big glass of water and sent her off to bed. She rolled her eyes and obliged, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to sleep while it was still light outside. Instead, she drew herself a bath and spent an hour in the bubbles, doing nothing but soaking with her eyes closed. She felt a little drowsier by the time she’d put on her robe and grabbed a book from her bookshelf, but she still spent several hours reading before she was tired enough to get under her covers and attempt to fall asleep. Anxiety kept her awake a little longer, but by ten, she was fast asleep in the warmth and safety of her bed.
She couldn’t believe it when she woke up and saw sunlight. It was rare that she slept through the entire night, but she’d been asleep for almost ten hours, according to her watch. She felt groggy for several minutes so she lay where she was, trying to process the fact that she’d slept so well. She hadn’t even had any of her usual nightmares.
She managed to get herself up out of bed, feeling like a completely new person. She was still a little groggy, but still strangely refreshed. She dressed and brushed her hair before heading downstairs to pour herself a glass of water. She didn’t even feel like she needed coffee.
She found Brock sleeping on the sofa, his mouth slightly open and the case file sprawled open on the floor like he’d dropped it when he fell asleep. Olivia smiled affectionately and picked up the file, slotting the sheets back into place that had fallen out. She knew that Brock must’ve been up half the night and she didn’t want to disturb him, but even as she settled quietly into the chair to do some reading, he stirred and opened his eyes.
“I fell asleep?” he muttered, his face drooping like he was sorely disappointed in himself. Olivia smiled.
“I didn’t expect you to stay up all night. You’re acting like me.”
Brock gave her a lopsided smile and sat up. His cheek was red where he’d had it pressed into the sofa. “Alright, point made. But I actually did come up with something useful last night. Well, at least, I think I did. Sleep deprivation makes things a little hazy.”
“You get used to that. What did you find?”
“Give me ten minutes. I think I’m the one who needs coffee this morning.”
Olivia obliged, flipping through the case notes while Brock readied himself for the day ahead. He returned with a steaming mug of coffee, sipping it as he walked.
“Is it just me, or does your terrible coffee taste slightly better than it used to?” he said, still wincing a little. Olivia rolled her eyes with a smile.
“Tell me what you came up with.”
Brock nodded, sitting on the sofa and leaning in toward her.
“Okay, so I started looking at the families of the girls. I kept trying to make connections between the three of them. We know that Hayleigh and Sophia were classmates and they spent some time together, but of course, Amelia isn’t even from here. I read over the interviews again and did a little online research, looking for something that might connect them. In the newspaper articles I found, they reported on the girls and their hobbies. You know, painting the picture of them being sweet little angels to appeal to the public. But I couldn’t find any similarities or connections between them all. I guess I was hoping that maybe they had a mutual connection of some sort who might be a suspect, but there was nothing I could find. So the only thing that I could find that connected them was the obvious things that we already knew. Blonde hair, similar ages, middle-class families.”
“So what was it that you found?”
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“Well, I thought more about it, and there is one other thing that connects all the girls. All three of them are only children. Each of the three families is the same: a mom, a dad, and a daughter. All of the girls have parents who seem to be in healthy marriages, or at least, none of them are divorced. And that’s another reason the Tasha Hart case doesn’t fit—she has a younger brother.”
“It’s a very specific profile,” Olivia agreed.
“Obviously we already talked about the idea that the kidnapper is someone who lost a child—that’s if we can connect what we found in the forest to the case, of course—but this further supports the idea that maybe the kidnapper is targeting families who replicate what they used to have. By taking away one girl from a single-child household, they’re depriving the parents, the way they were deprived.”
The theory was exciting to Olivia. It made so much sense to her now that Brock had said it aloud. Perhaps it didn’t give them any new suspects or evidence, but it built on the theory she’d come up with.
“Okay, this is good. This we can use. Maybe we can use this to map out where the kidnapper might strike next and further develop our profile to narrow down our suspect. Single-child families with young blonde girls need to be warned that they might be possible targets. Maybe we can even catch the kidnapper in the act.”
“That’s what I thought. And then I also thought that we could speak to Maggie about anyone in town who might have lost a child. Obviously, it might not be someone from here, but given that all three cases have revolved around this town, and two are from here directly, it’s starting to feel personal. It’s sensitive to be looking into people who’ve been through something so horrible, but it’s the only type of motive that we’ve identified so far. It’s somewhere to start, at least.”
“Agreed. Maggie knows everyone around here, she’ll definitely be able to give some insight. Want to head over to the station and see what we can do?” she asked.
