by Kim Loraine
I send a quick text to Stacy, telling her I’m shutting the door for a short break. I don’t wait for her answer, instead, I stride to the door and close it before leaning against the heavy wood and closing my eyes.
An overwhelming sense of loss crashes into me. I know without a doubt that I’ve lost the one man I could’ve truly loved. I let fear control me instead of trusting him.
I stare out the window, hands on the top of the desk to ground me. If he won’t contact me, I’ll just have to go back to his house and show him how I feel.
The sound of the door opening has my shoulders stiffening. “I’m closed for a break,” I call out.
“That’s just not going to work for me, Tillie.” My heart nearly leaps out of my chest at the sound of Jude’s voice. “You see, I’ve only got a few weeks left and I need my cards read.”
When I turn toward him, my knees go weak at the sight of his handsomeness. His jaw is covered in sexy stubble and I want to run my fingers over the chiseled perfection of his face.
“I…I thought you were done with me.”
He shakes his head. “Never. I’ll never be done.”
“But you ignored my messages.”
“No I didn’t. I responded every time. I tried to call you and it went to voicemail.”
That’s when I remember. I blocked his number when I thought he was a philandering bastard. “Oh, my God.”
“What?”
“I blocked you and I never fixed it.”
“Wow, you were properly angry, weren’t you?”
“Might have been.”
“Well, I’m here now, and I paid for the rest of the night with the witch.”
My whole body heats at the rough need in his voice. I clear my throat and run my hands over my costume. As I take in his fedora and leather jacket, I grin. “Are you…Indiana Jones?”
He grabs the brim of his fedora and smirks. “Might be.”
“Well, Doctor Jones, have a seat.”
His gaze traverses my form, desire burning in his eyes. “That dress—”
“Like it?”
He bites his lower lip and nods. “Very much. Although it’s far from historically accurate.”
I laugh. “Sit down and stop your judging.”
The man of my dreams sits at the table and I take my place across from him. I grab the cards and start laying them out, but he reaches for my hand. His touch makes everything else stop.
“Let me. I do have a little experience with the occult, after all.”
Chuckling, I slide the deck across the tabletop and watch as he deals them out in a pattern.
“What do they say?” I ask.
He locks gazes with me, his expression stern and serious. “You’re going to fall for a man who’ll adore you for the rest of your life.”
“I am?”
“Oh, yes.”
“I think you’re wrong.”
His eyebrows rise in question. “That’s what the cards tell me.”
“Well, those cards are wrong. I can promise you that.”
“Why?”
“How can I fall if I’m already there?”
The relief in his eyes brings me to tears. “I worried I was the only one.”
I shake my head, throat thick with emotion and keeping me from speaking. Tears spill down my cheeks and he’s gotten up and rushed to me before pulling me into his arms.
“I know it’s soon, and there are so many things we need to work out, but these last few days without you have been the worst of my life, Tillie.” He wipes my tears away and turns my face up toward his. “I can’t bear to let you go.”
“Me too,” I say, voice wobbling. “I never thought…I didn’t want to do this because I’d lose my focus and my plans would be derailed.”
“I know school is important to you. I don’t want to get in the way of you getting your degree, but if you’ll let me, I’ll support you, encourage you, and help you get there.”
His cobalt blue irises burn into mine with such sincerity, I can’t deny him. “I couldn’t tell you no even if I wanted to. Not being yours is more distracting than being with you. But you’re going back in a few weeks. How are we going to make this work?”
He holds me tight and buries his face in my hair, soft kisses trailing down my throat. “We’ll do whatever it takes to see you accomplish your goals. If I have to travel across the ocean to see you, that’s what I’ll do. I just need to know you’re mine.”
Arousal courses through me at the feel of his stubble brushing my collarbone. I never want to let him go. “I’m yours.”
19
Confessions
The flimsy paper boarding pass sits on the counter taunting me as the attendant waits for me to place my luggage on the scale. All I can think of is Tillie, warm and soft in my bed. We’ve been inseparable for weeks, growing closer with every conversation, our connection stronger than ever as I helped her catch up with her studies in the class that got between us. It turns out, since I wasn’t officially responsible for Tillie in any way, as long as we kept it under the radar, we were able to keep seeing each other.
I might’ve dressed up as a professor for Halloween, but a guest lecturer is a very different thing from a visiting professor. I just got to talk. I didn’t have anything to do with grades.
The ache in my chest is larger than I’ve ever experienced at the memory of her tender kisses, the scent of her hair, the taste of her skin. God, I don’t want this to be the end, but I can’t rid myself of the sense of dread I feel with every second that passes. If I leave now, I may never see her again.
“Sir, I need to get your baggage tagged,” he says, annoyance clear in his tone.
I’m not ready to leave. I don’t want our early morning farewell to be the last thing we say to each other for months. I don’t want to risk her doubting us in my absence. But what have I given her to help ease her worry about us? Nothing.
She’d been beside herself that she couldn’t come with me and offer a proper goodbye. But this morning she had an exam she couldn’t miss, and I promised I wouldn’t contributing to her losing focus. Glancing at my watch, I sigh, visualizing her taking her seat, ready for her exam. She’ll be done before I’m even in the air.
“Sir,” the attendant says again.
I lock eyes with him and purse my lips, knowing this is going to fuck up my entire schedule but not giving a damn. “I need to change my ticket.”
The people in line behind me grumble, but this is important. This is my entire future and I’m not going to let anything get in the way.
An hour later, I’m in a taxi, a mile from the sorority house, heart hammering so hard I worry it might burst. Adrenaline courses through my veins as I raise my hand to knock on the door.
“Jude?” Tillie’s voice hits me from behind like a tidal wave causing me to turn to face her.
She’s gorgeous in a yellow sweater and a plaid skirt. Fuck, I had her last night but I want her again—right now.
“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be on a plane.”
“I couldn’t leave. Not yet.”
I rush down the porch steps because I can’t be with her like this and not have her in my arms.
“Why?” she asks, her beautiful eyes staring into mine.
“I couldn’t leave without you knowing how desperately in love with you I am.”
Her face breaks into a beaming smile, the absolute happiness radiating from her telling me she feels the same. “God, me too, Jude. I just didn’t want to say it because I was worried it was too soon.”
I pull her close, her body fitting next to mine perfectly and then I dip my head and take her mouth with mine. My tension eases as soon as she’s against me, lips on mine, hands in my hair. I kiss her like she’s the only thing I need to keep me alive. Then she pulls back and the door opens, revealing Stacy, the mother hen of the sorority.
“Well, what do we have here?” she asks, grinning.
“It looks like I ha
ve a visitor,” Tillie says.
“I see.” Stacy hitches her purse on her shoulder and walks onto the porch. “Well, I’m sure you know the rules, Tillie. No boys on the second floor…but I’m leaving and there’s no one else here.” She winks. “If I don’t see it, it didn’t happen.”
We both watch as Stacy walks down the stairs and past us. She doesn’t look back, and once she’s out of sight, Tillie practically drags me inside and up the stairs to her room. I toss my suitcase into a corner of the bedroom as she closes and locks the door.
Then we’re lips and tongues, harsh breaths and passionate moans as we tear at each other’s clothes until the two of us stand naked in her small room. I glance around and take in the single bed, desk and dresser.
“No roommate?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “We’re locking the door and I’m keeping you prisoner until I can sneak you out.”
My lips trail across her collarbone and down to the swell of her breast as she sighs in pleasure. “You keeping me prisoner sounds fucking fantastic. But I don’t know if you’ll be able to stay quiet enough for your housemates to think you’re alone.”
“I don’t care,” she whispers, the last turning to a moan when my fingers slide into her slick pussy.
“I want to fuck you, then make love to you. I’m going to keep you in this bed all day.”
“Promise?”
I lift her until she’s got her legs wrapped around my hips and my rigid cock is nestled against her soft, warm pussy. “Fuck, yes.”
Laying her back on the bed, I don’t waste any time. I position myself at her entrance and thrust hard and deep, making her cry out. Her nipples are hard points, begging for my mouth, so I oblige. I take one between my lips and suck before teasing it with my tongue as I roll my hips in steady long movements.
She’s close already, I can tell by the flush creeping up her chest, the clenching of her walls around me, and the death grip she’s got on my shoulders. With one well-placed thrust, I hit her spot and send her careening over the edge on a scream of my name.
Without warning my own release hits me, unearthly pleasure cresting and causing me to spill jet after jet of my orgasm inside her.
“Fuck, Tillie,” I groan, pulling out and rolling over before nestling her into my side. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too. I don’t want you to go.”
“I know.” I think of the new ticket I have and my heart sinks. “I have to. I’m leaving tonight. I should’ve changed it right after we met, but I was an idiot.”
“Tonight?”
I nod, then slide out of bed.
“Where are you going?” she asks.
“I have something for you.” I rummage in my bag and produce an envelope, nerves running on high. This might be too big a step, but I have to try.
I hand her the paper and watch as she pulls the ticket from the envelope. “London? You got me a ticket to London?”
“For Christmas. I want you to come spend the holiday with me.”
Her smile is wide and the ache in my chest eases. “Thank you,” she whispers. “I don’t know what I’ll tell my parents, but I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”
“Tell them you’re with the love of your life. Tell them you found your forever and I’ll always care for you.”
She jumps off the bed and throws her arms around me. “I will. I’ll tell them I found the man I was meant for and I’m never letting him go.”
I kiss her then, long and slow, and I know, she’s my present, my future, and everything in between.
Epilogue 1 Forbidden & Forever
I’m sitting next to my big brother, dressed in my cap and gown, both of us watching as members of our class walk up and receive their diplomas. It’s surreal. We’ve both worked so hard over the last four years, and I can’t help but think of Lucy and wish desperately that she was here with us.
“I miss her too,” Austen says, taking my hand and squeezing. “But she’s watching. And I think she’s really fucking proud.”
For the first time, I’m glad he flunked out the year Lucy died. Having him with me right now means the world.
“I can’t believe you’re ditching us for England after this.” I know he’s teasing me, but there’s a thread of truth in his words as well.
“Come on, you know as well as I do, this is an opportunity I can’t pass up.”
He grins. “I know. Have you told Jude yet?”
The two of them have become thick as thieves over the last few months, and I love knowing my brother approves of my boyfriend. In fact, my whole family loves Jude. Austen is the only one who knows I was accepted to Oxford to complete my Graduate degree.
“I haven’t told him. I wanted it to be a surprise. One thing at a time, you know.”
“I guess. There is such a thing as too big of a surprise, don’t you think?” He glances at back at the huge crowd and I know he’s searching for our parents. “I mean, you’re moving to England. That’s huge. Life altering.”
“He’ll be happy. We talk about moving in together all the time.”
Austen shrugs. “I just think this is something you should talk about. You guys aren’t even engaged.”
Before I can respond, our row is called up and we’re walking toward the end of our time at Oak Ridge University. It goes by in a blur as we’re awarded our diplomas, photos are taken, congratulations are given. Then Austen and I are engulfed in the arms of our friends and fellow graduates. Kit hugs me and picks me up, spinning me around with a huge grin on his face.
“We did it. We’re done. Thank fuck.”
I laugh at him and peek over his shoulder at the audience. Are my parents still there somewhere? Did they get a video of all this for Jude? My heart aches at the knowledge that he wasn’t able to get here in time. His new book, the one he was working on when we met, hit the New York Times bestseller list and now he’s got a four-week book tour across the US. He told me he’d cancel so he could be here, but I insisted he shouldn’t.
We compromised. My parents agreed to video for him and I agreed to let him pay for a big graduation party as his gift to me.
“Ready to go?” Kit asks, hooking his arm with mine. “We’ve got to get you ready, Cinderella.”
“What are you talking about? I’m perfectly presentable.”
“No way. I’m not letting you go to your graduation party wearing…let me guess…a black dress.”
He’s right. I didn’t really dress up because I knew Jude wouldn’t be here to appreciate my outfit. “Fine. I’ll change. I’ve got a vintage dress in my closet waiting to be worn.”
“Of course you do. Let’s go.”
By the time Kit is done playing fairy godmother, my hair is styled in loose waves to one side, my lips are painted a vivacious red, and I look like I could’ve stepped out of a pin-up magazine. My red heels match my lips, and the off the shoulder dress complete with a full skirt of black satin fits like a dream.
“I’m only going to say this once. This is still a black dress.”
“Yes, but it’s hot as fuck. That other thing you were wearing might as well have been a bathrobe.”
I roll my eyes and laugh. “You’re right. I feel a lot better in this. I just wish Jude was here.”
“Oh, he’d lose his damn mind over you in this dress. One look at you, and you’d be pregnant before the night was over.”
“Kit, stop it,” I say through uncontrollable giggles.
“What? It’s true.”
The party is at an exclusive club owned by one of Jude’s childhood friends. Apparently the man also owns a hotel in Manhattan, oh, and he’s a British lord. No big deal.
When we walk through the doors, I’m caught off guard by the absolute beauty of the view. The club is at the top of a hotel in the city and the entire thing is walled by floor to ceiling windows. The night sky glitters with the lights of the buildings and the skyline. Tables are decorated with tall centerpieces dripping with lilac and i
vy, scenting the space with the delicate flower’s trademark sweetness.
“Wow, is this a graduation party or a wedding?” Kit asks. “Jude did good.”
My chest squeezes. I want Jude here to share this with me. “He certainly did.”
“Tillie!” My mother’s voice fills the room as she runs toward me, arms outstretched, smile wide. She pulls me into a bone-crushing hug and something in me eases. “I’m so proud of you and Austen. Just, so, so proud.”
“Where’s Austen?” I ask, looking around.
“He’s at the bar with your dad. They’ve got something important to discuss.” She wiggles her eyebrows and puts her finger to her lips. “But I’m not allowed to say.”
She leads me through the growing crowd of guests. Austen’s frat brothers, my sorority sisters, a few close family members who came to see us graduate. “Come on, I’m sitting by the gorgeous fireplace. We’ll get you something to eat and a glass of wine.”
That sounds wonderful in all honesty. “Okay.”
I see him before we get to the cozy nook with a fireplace and deep gray couches. He’s not facing me, but I’d know Jude anywhere. I think my heart recognized him first.
“Jude?” I breathe.
He turns to face me, a broad smile lighting up his expression. “Surprised?”
I run to him, practically leaping into his strong arms. I missed everything about him. His scent, his taste, the rumble of his voice in his chest. “Absolutely. I thought you were going to be in Seattle tonight.”
“I had Brett reschedule. You’re daft if you think I’d miss something as big as your graduation.”
I crush my lips to his, not caring that my mom is right there, that my friends are watching. All I know is I need to be kissing the man I love almost more than I need my next breath.
