by James Veitch
From: Robert Fortnum
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Need your help… Date: October 28 3:58 pm
Ok cool. Thank you for the help and we talk more once i arrive home. Keep me posted with the transaction confirmation number.
From: James Veitch
To: Robert Fortnum
Subject: Re: Need your help… Date: October 28 4:00 pm
Of course. But what did you think of the first 12 chapters of my novel? You know how important your feedback is to me.
From: Robert Fortnum
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Need your help… Date: October 28 4:12 pm
Well i appreciate every bit of what i read.
But i must let you know that am not in the mood for this now because we are really having such a frustrating ordeal here so it’s not making me think well at all,so until i get home.
Hope you understand.
From: James Veitch
To: Robert Fortnum
Subject: Re: Need your help… Date: October 28 4:15 pm
Look Robbie, you’re asking me for $2.5k but you can’t even tell me what you thought of my novel? Take a moment, breathe a little and tell me your considered opinion.
I’m beginning to think you just don’t care at all.
From: Robert Fortnum
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Need your help… Date: October 28 4:26 pm
Yes i know it’s been ages since we have a proper chat and i don’t want you to think i don’t care about your novel or maybe am feeling unconcerned about your novel but it’s just we are a very bad and frustrating trip.
Just to let you to know that i really appreciate every bit of the wordings written on the novel. But the least i could say about the novel is that it’s very passionate and sensitive.
From: James Veitch
To: Robert Fortnum
Subject: Re: Need your help… Date: October 28 4:36 pm
Robster!
Thank you so much. I called my bank and they’re making a one-time exception and allowing me to withdraw £2000. I need to tie up some business here and I may use your quotation for the back of the book; would that be all right?
One final question. How did you feel about the way it started? What did you think of the main character? And what was your favorite bit?
Please just tell me this and I’ll go make the payment straight away.
Yours, James
From: Robert Fortnum
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Need your help… Date: October 28 4:47 pm
OMG What a million questions!!!
It’s lovely and make’s more meaning to someone life and i really love the way it started and what i think about the main character,lovely Passionate and Sensitive,
My favorite bit is just knowing that the novel has a lot and add alot to someone’s life.
Please let me know what going on.
From: James Veitch
To: Robert Fortnum
Subject: Mock-up Date: October 28 5:54 pm
So sorry about all the questions. It means such a lot to me. I love that you described it that way.
I’ve attached a mock-up of the book that my publisher just sent me; I hope you don’t mind but we used your quotation. What do you think? :) :)
From: Robert Fortnum
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Mock-up Date: October 28 6:06 pm
Wow this look good.
I will like you to go get the money sent now so i don’t get frustrated.
From: James Veitch
To: Robert Fortnum
Subject: Re: Mock-up Date: October 28 6:09 pm
I know, right?
Could you give me one more quotation for the back cover though, as my publisher is going nuts trying to get it out.
Just 30 words about the main plot twist and the bit with the robots and the milkmaid.
I just need to get this email sent off to her with the final changes and then I’ll go to the WU to send your cash.
Cheers, James
P.S. Excited!!
From: Robert Fortnum
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Mock-up Date: October 28 6:12 pm
Tired of your cunning.
OMG What a million questions!!! why you asking me this as at moment ?? Is this just because i asked you of help.. why have you decided to treat me like this, i want you to know that we’re meant to help each other. I knew this is unusual but are the only person i could reach at this point and i’m doing everything i can so we can work our way out of here peacefully.
My flight leaves in hours from now and I really need your help to sort out the hotel bills. Kindly let me know if you’re willing to help us out of this mess ok.
From: James Veitch
To: Robert Fortnum
Subject: Sensitive Passion: a novel Date: October 28 6:16 pm
Of COURSE I am. But you’ve got to see it from my point of view; I haven’t spoken to you in years, you email me out of the blue and ask for money. I’ve spent all day trying to get this money out of the bank (they even tried to tell me it was some sort of “scam”) and now you tell me not only have you read my book but you LOVED it and you’re willing to write me a blurb for the back cover.
Now my publisher is going nuts trying to get this 30 words and I’m just asking you for 30 words about the plot twist and the robots and the milkmaid before I head out the door. I swear I will get you this money within the hour. Just write me the blurb so I can shut my publisher up. You’re the most respected Doctor of Philosophy in the country and I need your help, too.
Please, just gimme 30 words on Sensitive Passion and I’ll send you the money.
From: Robert Fortnum
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Sensitive Passion: a novel Date: October 28 6:30 pm
OMG!!! why are you being so paranoid about this situation. I would never ask you to wire money to my name if i wasn’t myself.
I never expected you could doubt me after explaining the horrible experience i went through,am seriously freaked out at the moment and need urgent help to get back home on time.
I’ll be hanging on here to read from you soon.
From: James Veitch
To: Robert Fortnum
Subject: Re: Sensitive Passion: a novel Date: October 28 6:32 pm
OMG!! I can imagine. This is just how the milkmaid feels when she meets the robots in chapter 3.
I literally have the cash with me in crisp £10 notes. I just need to get to that Western Union but my publisher AND agent are now asking me for this blurb. Can you send now and then I will order a taxi to take me to the WU?
From: Robert Fortnum
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Sensitive Passion: a novel Date: October 29 11:46 am
This novel is anincredible novel. The main character the milkmade is passionate and lovely and sensitive and the plot twist with the robots is good too.
This novel adds to peoples lives anyone who reads the book will be surprised by the twist. I also loved the way it started
ROBERT
From: James Veitch
To: Robert Fortnum
Subject: Re: Sensitive Passion: a novel Date: October 29 2:04 pm
Rob, this is beautiful. My publisher will be over the moon. I’m going to send you the money just as soon as the first royalty check comes in.
In the meantime, hang out in the library. It’s a good place to be.
Tell No One
From: Juan Carlos
To: James Veitch
Subject: ATTENTION! Date: May 21 3:42 am
Greetings? Firstly, i must apologies for barge into your mailbox. i seek a decision maker to grab 50% of $128 million. Yours free Have i got your attention?
My question to you is do you want to be a millionaire? all you need do is assist me on what is Required you get $64 million dollars Have i got your attention?
I requi
re UN undertaking that you will not run of with the money. Driven by greed. call it winnings or compensation is your choice. Have i got your attention?
From: James Veitch
To: Juan Carlos
Subject: Re: ATTENTION! Date: May 22 8:05 am
Sorry, can you repeat that? I wasn’t paying attention.
From: Juan Carlos
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: ATTENTION! Date: May 22 8:12 am
???
From: James Veitch
To: Juan Carlos
Subject: Re: ATTENTION! Date: May 22 8:29 am
Ok, I reread it and yes, in principle, I’m in. Very excited. Who am I allowed to tell about this?
From: Juan Carlos
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: ATTENTION! Date: May 22 8:35 am
This transaction is a deal which you do no allowed to tell anybody. However, provide your personal information
From: James Veitch
To: Juan Carlos
Subject: Re: ATTENTION! Date: May 22 9:01 am
Ok. I’ll be sending you my information in the next email.
Am I ok to tell my mother? She would be very excited to know that I was in such a lucrative business deal.
From: Juan Carlos
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: ATTENTION! Date: May 22 9:58 am
Hello Mr. Veitch.
Yes, you can proceed and discuss this transaction with your mom so that she can partner with you and receive this $64 million.
i will be waiting for your information for we to start the transaction.
Mr. Jaun Carlos
From: James Veitch
To: Juan Carlos
Subject: Re: ATTENTION! Date: May 22 12:04 pm
Wonderful. I’ve told my mother and she’s very, very excited. She’s asked me whether she can tell my uncle John about it. Is that ok? He might be coming in with us on the deal. I think we’ll need help anyway because I don’t work Mondays for obvious reasons.
From: Juan Carlos
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: ATTENTION! Date: May 22 12:50 pm
If you want to work with me and receive this money. let me know so that i can tell you more detail and procedures by which you have to follow.You can tell your uncle but no more.
From: James Veitch
To: Juan Carlos
Subject: Small prob Date: May 22 7:27 pm
So my Aunty Norma was in the room when I told Uncle John about the $128 million. I remembered what you said and I told her not to tell anyone but she must have forgotten because she told Patrick who texted Aunt Molly and Uncle Nigel who conference-called Sue and Uncle Mark, Uncle Paul and Cousin Siobhan. Siobhan told Alan and Alan told Hannah and Hannah blabbed to Dan. Jeremy and Lorna know, too; I think Paul’s to blame. And now they all want in. About the only person who doesn’t know is Jonathan and that’s only because he’s in a different time zone.
The only good news is that Grandma’s been told at least three times but still has no idea what we’re on about.
Anyway, sorry for the hassle. I hope this doesn’t affect the deal.
From: Juan Carlos
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Small prob Date: May 23 4:22 am
You are warned to disregard other contact or any communication you have with other people from now henceforth.
From: James Veitch
To: Juan Carlos
Subject: Jonathan Date: May 23 11:14 am
Jonathan knows. I don’t know how, but he knows.
Genuinely really sorry about this.
From: Juan Carlos
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Jonathan Date: May 23 1:40 pm
I contacted you based on Trust and confidentiality that you will keep this transaction as top secret and private.
From: James Veitch
To: Juan Carlos
Subject: Re: Jonathan Date: May 23 1:56 pm
I don’t see what the problem is. Thus far the only people who know are Mark, Paul, Siobhan, Grandma (sometimes), Patrick, Molly, Nigel, John, Norma, Jonathan, Hannah, Daniel, Jeremy, Lorna, Paul, Ma, Alan and me.
If poss, I’d like to keep this on the DL, so please don’t tell anyone.
The Honey Trap
From: Elena
To: James Veitch
Subject: How did I find you? Date: February 14 8:35 am
Don’t wait far too long tell someone how much you love, and how much you care.
From: James Veitch
To: Elena
Subject: Re: How did I find you? Date: February 14 6:21 pm
HAIKU!!! Send more.
From: Elena
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: How did I find you? Date: February 15 2:44 pm
My name is Elena.
i am searching for an understanding person who see love as the only way of trust and care.
i have something important to tell you
From: James Veitch
To: Elena
Subject: Re: How did I find you? Date: February 16 11:54 am
Elena,
That’s SO weird. I was searching for an understanding person who see love as the only way of trust and care right when you emailed. What’s this important thing you have to tell me?
I hate it when people do that because you could have just used the space you used to say “I have something important to tell you” to say the important thing itself.
James Veitch
From: Elena
To: James Veitch
Subject: About me Date: February 17 1:21 pm
Dear James,
I am 24 years old, 5.6ft tall, never married before.
i am a girl who loves to give people happiness always despite what the circumstance might look like. Most of my hobbies are, reading novels, jogging, listening to music, cooking, listen to music, tv and movies.
I like honest, real, sincere and trustworthy people. But i hate dishonest, cheaters, and irresponsible peoples.
I have a cat. His name is Homka.
Elena
From: James Veitch
To: Elena
Subject: Re: About me Date: February 17 7:16 pm
Let me introduce myself, too. I am Mr. James Veitch (rhymes with “peach”), 5’10” tall. I, too, have never married though my mother keeps asking probing questions about whether I’ve “met someone.”
It’s really nice to make your acquaintance. I, too, love movies and hate dishonest people! It’s exciting to meet someone who shares the same esoteric range of likes and dislikes as I do.
I can’t help noticing that you listed listening to music twice in your hobbies. Was this an oversight or are you just very passionate about listening to music?
My hobbies are playing piano and guitar, pining for girls, worrying about climate change, pining for girls and the poetry of John Keats.
From: Elena
To: James Veitch
Subject: My life Date: February 18 1:49 pm
Dearest James
I wish to let you know that sincerely is the best way in life. though we might be thousands of miles away from each other but it does not matter,what really matters in life is love not distance or color. I want to love and be loved.
Elena
From: James Veitch
To: Elena
Subject: Re: My life Date: February 18 2:41 pm
Elena,
That’s actually fairly beautiful. I think I read Fiona Apple said something like this recently. I’ll try and fish out the quotation for you. Do you like the Beatles?
P.S. That’s all I’ve ever wanted: to love and be loved.
From: Elena
To: James Veitch
Subject: Feelings Date: February 19 6:23 am
I believe you are good and nice man. You are very Attractive Man.
I am excited and my head is like any big station with a lot of voice!
From: James Veitch
To: Elena
Subject: Re: Feelings Date: February 19 1:49 pm
How long have you been hearing voices?
P.S. “Love is love, and there will never be too much.”
Fiona Apple, Letter to a Fan
From: Elena
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Feelings Date: February 20 2:36 pm
I like blue and red colors? What colors do you like?
If you don’t mind to meet me please tell me the name of your city and nearest international airport! I will book my flight from Moscow.
I think you are interested that I don’t have a boyfriend, because all men here look on my visual aspect and I want somebody who will look inside me.
From: James Veitch
To: Elena
Subject: Re: Feelings Date: February 20 3:31 pm
I’m so sorry you haven’t found anyone to look inside you yet. Come to London—I’ll sort you out with an Oyster card.
In answer to your question, the nearest international airport is Heathrow. There’s Gatwick, too but, to be honest, it’s a pain in the ass. Don’t ever get me started on Stansted. I’m quite excited to see you. But so soon? Do you normally fly out to meet someone you’ve just met??
James (call me Jimbo, please)
From: Elena
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Feelings Date: February 21 1:57 pm
My honey Jimbo!!!!!!
I am glad that we have got acquainted in this big world of Internet and we can communicate here easyly now.
You are very attractive man.
From: James Veitch
To: Elena
Subject: Attractive man Date: February 22 9:26 am
Thanks so much for calling me Jimbo. It really makes me feel like we’re becoming intimate. Albeit over the internet.
I’m just here in London. I live in a huge house but have it all to myself*. I have no family and am genuinely concerned about what will happen to all of my property when I shuffle off this mortal coil.
