by Mark Hayden
Mina nodded.
The Judge took a substantial parchment out of a drawer. ‘This is a commission from the Court. You’ll need to swear an oath.’ She pressed an intercom and summoned her clerk. Mina took the Judicial Oath and the clerk left after signing the parchment as a witness. Mrs Bracewell placed the commission underneath the Golden Triangle papers and deftly re-tied the ribbon. ‘Tennille Haynes will sort out your contract of employment. I expect weekly updates by email. We’ll arrange face-to-face meetings as and when. Welcome to the Court.’
She shook Mina’s hand and passed over the bundle. We sat down again, with Mina cradling the documents like a new pet.
‘So …. Mr Clarke,’ said the Judge. ‘My husband wanted to meet the Dragonslayer. He would have loved your seminar last week, but he was out of town.’
‘Your husband, my lady?’
‘He’s an esoteric antiquarian. A Mage of strictly limited talents, but I don’t hold it against him. A bit like you, from what I hear.’
‘I have a talent for survival, my lady. If Mr Bracewell has one, he should join the Watch, too.’
She actually laughed at that. ‘I’ll tell him to put in his application. He’s survived thirty years with me, so anything’s possible. Now, I’m sure you’re wondering why you’re here. It’s because I haven’t heard from you.’
‘My lady?’
‘Have you read the Seclusion order for Myfanwy Lewis?’
‘Annelise explained it to me.’
She shook her head. ‘I bet she explained enough to get you and Miss Lewis out of her hair and no more. You are Miss Lewis’s supervising officer, and you have duties that go beyond providing lodgings and an entry into village society.’
This sounded ominous. It sounded like the judge knew something.
‘You should read the order, Mr Clarke. Especially the section on providing reports to the Court on Miss Lewis’s magickal activities.’
‘To my knowledge, her magickal activities have been limited to a spot of gardening, my lady.’
The judge rapped her knuckles on the ancient desk. ‘Precisely. She is a Herbalist. I have heard a rumour that she is planting a Herbal garden. Only a rumour, mind, because if it were true, I would expect her supervising officer to give the Court a full report. Am I making myself clear, Mr Clarke?’
‘Crystal, my lady.’
‘Good. You’ll be pleased to know that there is no duty to report on her morals. I’ve heard rumours there, too.’
‘Ben Thewlis is lucky to have her,’ said Mina sharply.
‘Of course. I’m sure.’
I frowned as the implications of this sank in. Only a Mage could have dobbed Myfanwy in with the judge. A Mage who’d been to Clerkswell, or had talked to one of our magickal house guests. The judge wouldn’t reveal her source to me, so I didn’t bother asking. Not yet. I tried a different tack. ‘As you said, my lady, I have strictly limited talents. My knowledge of mundane gardening is very slight; my knowledge of Herbalism is zero.’
‘Which is why Miss Lewis will write the report, you will submit it and an expert will review it. They may need to make a site visit.’
The clerk buzzed through with a time warning, and we got up to go. Mina had been looking around, and spotted something on the judge’s shelves. Something that wasn’t big, fat and legal in nature.
‘Is that Bid Better, Play Better on the bottom shelf?’ she said.
‘Yes. Do you play?’
‘I am a beginner only. Conrad’s mother is the expert.’
The clerk was fussing with the judge’s robes. ‘You’re not Mary Clarke’s boy, are you?’ said Mrs Bracewell.
‘I am.’
‘Then you have a very good teacher, Miss Desai. Good luck with the gold.’
We stayed quiet until we were walking down the steps and back into the sunshine. ‘I wonder how she knows your mother,’ said Mina.
‘And I wonder how she knows about Myfanwy’s garden. Clearly a well connected judge.’
‘Yes. I hope Myvvy’s not planning to poison the opposition with something from the garden.’
‘Doesn’t need to. Just serve that beef-free chili and the other team will capitulate.’
‘No!’ said Myfanwy. ‘How much?’
Mina repeated the salary for Peculier Auditor.
‘I don’t believe you,’ said Myfanwy. ‘You left here the other day unemployed and now you’re the biggest earner at Elvenham. Respect, Mina.’
‘They’re getting me cheap,’ said Mina. ‘There should be another “1” on the front of the figure.’
Myfanwy grinned. ‘You won’t be needing my board and lodging payments now, will you?’
Mina waved her hand airily, as if such things were beneath her. ‘That’s Conrad’s department. I shall need to put all my salary towards a suitable wardrobe.’ She looked down at her tunic dress. ‘Seriously. I may need suits. The judge clearly thought this outfit was a little disrespectful. On the other hand, I am definitely buying Champagne at the Inkwell later.’
There was no women’s practice tonight, because tomorrow was a special day. There was a blank in the men’s fixtures, and the 4Cs (that’s the Clerkswell Cricket Club Committee) had graciously allowed the ladies to practise on the main ground. Nets are all very well, but you can’t practise outfielding in them, nor can you afford to play your first match on a wicket you’ve never used before. Not when you’re the home team.
It was a party of four at the Inkwell. We’d invited Erin, but she had to go to a Foresters’ meeting and would be coming down in the morning. Ben looked very pre-occupied, and I asked what was up when the girls went off to have a quick word with Nell.
‘All sorts,’ he said. ‘This weather’s awful. Too hot and dry after a cold spring. I’ve got crops all over with no depth of root.’
I know enough about cereal agronomy to nod sympathetically, and he knew enough not to go any further.
‘And the wedding,’ he added. ‘Carole’s gone into full Bridezilla mode. Mum’s spent the week in London going dress shopping, and Dad’s refusing to get involved because Isaac’s paying for everything, so it’s landed back with me. Do I look like a wedding planner?’
‘No, mate, you do not. You look like a man who needs cheering up,’ I said with sympathy. Reynold, the landlord, paraded towards us with an ice bucket and Champagne flutes. I pointed to him and said, ‘He looks like one, though.’ The landlord deposited the ice bucket and turned the label to face us.
‘Reynold, can you take over organising Carole’s wedding?’
‘I am no one’s gay best friend,’ he responded. ‘Nor do I have an obsession with interior design.’
‘We can see that,’ said Ben.
‘If you had taste, I’d be offended by that remark. Enjoy the Champagne. What’s the occasion, anyway? More wedding bells?’
Ben and I gave each other the hunted male look. It’s instinctive. ‘Mina’s got a job,’ I said.
‘Then I hope she remembers to tip well.’
We didn’t overdo it at the Inkwell, and we were at Mrs Clarke’s Folly in good time. Ben and I had agreed that from today, we’d let Juliet and Myfanwy run the show. Jules had even enrolled on a coaching and leadership course. I may dislike the woman, but I wasn’t going to question her commitment. Ben thinks she’s doing it to prove to Stephen that she will make a better captain than he did. He only lasted a year in charge of the men’s team.
‘What’s up?’ said Ben. He pointed to the pavilion, where Jules was looking at her phone and talking to Myfanwy. After some arguing, they came over to us at our station by the large roller. Juliet looked upset and Myfanwy looked furious.
‘Noticed anyone missing?’ said Myfanwy. She didn’t wait for a reply. ‘That bitch from Allington, the wicket keeper, well she wasn’t a wicket keeper, she was a snake in the grass, that’s what she was. She’s only been coming to spy on us, and she’s poached Emily.’
Ben and I stood up straight. Emily Ventress, at fifteen yea
rs old, is the closest to a natural fast bowler I’ve seen in years, and the team’s secret weapon. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I’ve had a text,’ said Jules. ‘A bloody text. Emily says that Allington have offered her regular games all summer, and she’s going to register with them.’
‘What are we going to do?’ said Myfanwy.
‘We’re going to get on with it,’ said Juliet. ‘Your friend, Erin, said she’d like to try her hand at bowling, and Mina was my choice for wicket keeper anyway.’ She frowned. ‘What’s up with her today? She’s never had a problem with getting changed before, and now she’s wearing that Under Armour top with the long sleeves.’
‘Rash,’ said Myfanwy. ‘She’s got a bad rash. Or sunburn. Something like that.’
‘Sunburn? Whatever. Let’s get going.’
She strode off and Ben followed. I caught Myfanwy’s arm and whispered, ‘Don’t let Erin bowl.’
‘Why ever not?’
‘She’s an Enscriber. She’s got magick in her fingers, remember? She’ll never be able to hold it back.’
She sighed. ‘Fair point. I can have a go, I suppose.’
‘You can, but you’d be far better inviting Miss Parkes to tea tonight. She taught Emily’s mother, don’t forget. Miss Parkes is your secret weapon, not Emily. Send her round chez Ventress after tea, and I’ll bet Emily’s mum will be so scared that she’ll never sign a parental consent form for registration with Allington. Then you take Emily aside in the shop tomorrow and she’ll soon see the error of her ways.’
‘You are a devious sod, Conrad. I’ll get on it.’
The Sunday morning farming forecast said that there were signs of the jet stream moving south again, and that the summer would be interrupted in a couple of weeks. There was no sign of that on a long, hot drive through the never-ending roadworks of the M6.
‘Can’t I use magick to hide it?’ said Mina. She had unbuttoned the top of her dress and was staring down at her chest, at the swastika tattoo. There was a large lorry on our nearside, and I don’t think Mina realised that the driver could look down and see it, too. If he chose.
‘Vicky says not, love. I’m not sure why.’
‘Then I’ll have to pick my moment to go topless in the dressing room. I lost two pounds yesterday sweating in that thing.’
‘I’d wait until the Allington match. Until you’re losing. Peel it off at the crease and make sure the opposition get a look. That’ll put them off their strokes.’
‘Ha ha. We’re moving.’
We were heading to Ribblegate Farm, partly to collect Scout and partly to help Stacey. Mina’s former cell-mate had rung yesterday evening in something of a state, that was clear, but she hadn’t wanted to talk on the phone. We had no idea what we were going to find when we got to Blackpool, or when Kelly and Mina got to Blackpool. According to Kelly, Stacey found me too scary, so I was banned.
We arrived in the farm after their Sunday dinner, and Kelly was all set to go. Unfortunately I had something very embarrassing to do first.
‘Would you mind coming to the dog kennel?’ I asked.
‘What, me?’ said Kelly.
‘All of you. Including Natasha. The baby can stay asleep.’
‘Why?’
‘Clarke family tradition. Goes back generations. It won’t take a minute. Please.’ Kelly rolled her eyes and swapped her heels for wellingtons. She gathered the rest of the family, and I got the gift from the car.
Vicky had sent me a book from the Esoteric Library, with special permission from Francesca. It was called The Ways of the Familiar Spirit, and was very clear about was necessary before we left Ribblegate Farm. I had bonded with Scout. Magickally bonded. If he’d been an adult dog, that would have been all that was necessary, but because he was a new-born puppy, he’d also bonded with the Kirkhams and his mother. Those bonds need to be unwoven, for his sake more than mine.
Joseph, Joe, Kelly and Natasha surrounded the dog kennel, and the mother dog looked at us suspiciously. Scout was jumping up and down and wagging his tail.
‘Sit,’ I said. ‘And I mean it.’ He sat. ‘Good boy. Stay.’ I turned to the humans. ‘It would mean a lot to me if you all said, “Goodbye, Scout,” and tickled his ears. Or his tummy.’
Natasha didn’t hesitate. She picked him up and gave him a kiss. ‘Goodbye Scouty. I’ll miss you.’
‘Tasha! I’ve told you not to do that,’ said Kelly. She took the dog out of her daughter’s arms and plonked him on the yard floor. ‘Goodbye, Scout, you evil creature.’ She was half-serious when she said that, and Scout barked loudly. Kelly did the business, though, and gave him a good scratch.
Joseph and Joe gave him a quick ruffle and said goodbye in their own way (‘Alright, lad,’ and ‘Now then, Scout.’ The book hadn’t been specific about the words). That left the mother, and the biggest challenge.
I unwrapped the package and took out a joint of venison. Other meats had been ruled out on religious grounds (Mina) and tradition (you shouldn’t feed raw pork or lamb to young dogs). I placed the meat in front of Scout and his tail went bananas. ‘Take it to mother,’ I said. He whined and sniffed the meat. ‘Go on, boy, take it to mother.’
The book had been clear about this. If he ate the steak, I’d be going home with a pet, not a Familiar Spirit. He whined again and nibbled the meat with his little puppy teeth. I held my breath and realised that it had gone very quiet. Scout nibbled the meat again, and this time clamped it in his jaws. He dragged the steak over to his mother and put it in front of her nose with a bark.
‘Good boy. Here.’
‘What on earth is that you’ve got?’ said Kelly.
‘Curried worms.’
‘Now I’ve seen everything,’ said Joe. Scout took the worms from my hand and chewed them enthusiastically. ‘That dog’s not right in the head, Conrad, I’m telling you. He’s bright, though, I’ll give him that.’
‘Can we go now?’ said Kelly.
‘Of course. Thank you all so much.’
I waved Mina and Kelly off in Kelly’s car, then I showed Scout the back of my Volvo XC70, complete with dog bed. He was still too small to jump in, so I made him comfy and said, ‘We’re going for a drive, and you’re going to meet something special.’
I spent the afternoon down the road at the Fylde Equine Research Centre, owned by an old acquaintance, Olivia Bentley. Given that the last time we’d met, she’d had to deal with a murdered farmer and fire in a stable full of horses, she was quite pleased to see me. Naturally, she fell in love with Scout.
‘What are you doing here, Conrad?’
‘Fancied a gallop. I’ll pay, obviously.’
‘No problem. Becka will sort you out.’ She gave me a look. ‘Where’s Mina Finch? I’d like to meet her.’
‘It’s Mina Desai now. She’s got business in Blackpool. She only let me come today because she saw on Twitter that Amelia’s in London.’
Olivia gave me a knowing look. I once dated her sister, Amelia. We won’t go there today. ‘Enjoy the ride,’ said Olivia.
We did enjoy it. Scout loved exploring the new environment and meeting horses for the first time. I told him to stay when I wanted to put the horse through its paces. He was still there when I got back. Asleep, yes, but still there. At that moment, Mina rang, and it wasn’t good news.
Steroid Boy hadn’t exactly been faithful while Stacey was doing time, and he’d done it with one of Stacey’s “friends” from school. That was bad, but people have got over worse. He carried on carrying on with the friend after Stacey was released, to the point where several of Stacey’s other friends had let her know about it. Shortly after, Steroid Boy had cleared out Stacey’s bank account and cleared off with anything saleable from the flat. Stacey was now left with a tenancy she couldn’t afford and everyone looking at her.
‘What did you do?’ I asked when we left Ribblegate Farm two hours later.
‘No, Scout, get back,’ said Mina. ‘Is he always going to do this?’
/> I pulled in to the side of the road and turned round. ‘Listen, Scout, you do what the mistress tells you. Understand? Basket. Now.’
He scrambled back over the seats and into the rear area.
‘Is he going to live in the house?’
‘No. He can sleep in the first stable for now. We’ll review the situation in the autumn. About Stacey?’ They’d brought the young woman back with them from Blackpool, and installed her at the farm.
‘I paid the landlord a month’s rent and told him to keep the deposit. He agreed to waive the rest of the tenancy. I will give Kelly more money at some point. Some men are very stupid. Very, very stupid.’
I wasn’t going to argue with that.
Myfanwy was working in the garden when we got back. She peeled off her gloves and came to meet us, drawing a piece of paper from her pocket. ‘I’ve got it,’ she announced triumphantly. ‘Emily and her mother have both signed. Ben’s going to hand deliver it to the association secretary tomorrow.’
She and Mina high-fived while I opened the car.
I lifted Scout from the back and held him up. ‘See that dragon, boy? You have to bark at him whenever we come home. Got that?’
I put him down and he looked up at the stone. He considered it for a second, and there was a flash of green in his brown eye. He barked. Loudly.
‘Oh, he is so cute,’ said Myfanwy.
Scout scampered across the gravel drive and climbed the front steps with some difficulty. When he got to the front door, he did his best to lift his leg and urinate on the door. Then he turned to us and opened his mouth in what can only be described as a grin.
‘You bad boy,’ said Myfanwy. ‘If you do that in the house, I swear down I will have you at the vets and castrated faster than you can say sausages.’
‘You know what?’ I said. ‘It’s good to have another man around the house.’
‘Be careful, Conrad,’ said Mina, ‘or you may end up with him in the stables.’
16 — All Quiet on the Mercian Front
‘Watch Captain Clarke, may I present Saunders, the new Chief of Clan Flint,’ said Lloyd.
