Sileno lets go and runs his fingers against the lapel of my suit.
“Very smooth. He’s perfect,” he says. “Perfect.”
Jaysen lets out a sigh of relief. He pats my back, hard. Why do I feel as if I’ve been sold?
“Have you seen the crowd?” Jaysen asks, eager to please. “They are ready.”
“So am I,” Sileno says. The glint in his eye reveals other things. The woman behind the bar appears to refill his cup. He whispers to her.
“Let’s toast.”
I don’t want to drink the red wine he offers from some unpronounceable place, but I do. I have to. I’m sealing the deal to play.
“Oh my god.”
Penelope and Eury finally arrive. Penelope is dumbfounded by the ambience. As for Eury, she is scared, but when our eyes meet, her fear slowly dissipates. Eury is here. I don’t care how Sileno is drinking another glass of wine, but I do care how he stares at Eury. Leers at her. When Eury stands beside me ready for introductions, I place my arm around her shoulders.
“This is my girlfriend, Eury.”
“Bueno, Girlfriend Eury, you are a vision.” Sileno kisses her cheek delicately, and I want to punch him in the face. Eury isn’t feeling the spectacle. Still, she graciously smiles.
“Drink. Drink. This is going to be fun.” He offers everyone wine. Eury takes only a small sip from the large goblet. “You might want to do a sound check. Don’t worry, I will keep your friends entertained while you do.”
I don’t want to leave Eury alone with him. Sileno’s a type of charming predator who probably thinks owning a club is enough to compensate for his questionable fashion sense.
“Go ahead,” Jaysen says, giving me the eye. Jaysen should be nervous. I’m about to pounce on this guy if he keeps licking his lips and staring at Eury like she’s a sancocho.
I reluctantly join the musicians on the stage. Sileno continues to be boisterous and loud. Jaysen seems to love it. He probably wants to be like him, his apprentice in the art of bullshit.
Sileno tells Penelope a joke. Her laugh is an uncomfortable one. I strum my guitar hard. Aaron pays attention to the exchange and gives Sileno the hard stare. I need to get Eury away from him. I don’t want her to continue to be nice to this jerk, not on my account.
“Hey, Eury, did you bring the thing I asked?” I say loudly into the microphone. My voice stops Sileno in midsentence of another dumb joke. His smile never leaves his face. Eury takes the hint and joins me onstage.
“I don’t like that guy,” I say.
“I can tell,” she says. “He’s pretty predictable. A grosero nightclub owner. It’s a good thing I’m not into that.”
The anger simmers down a bit. She is with me. We are going to be fine.
“I’m not here for that mama culo,” I whisper. “Hang out backstage. Away from him.”
She agrees to.
“Ready, el Nene?” Sileno yells out. “We are about to open the doors.”
Although Sileno continues to drink glass of wine after glass of wine, he doesn’t appear drunk. He walks with an even pace. Sileno addresses his workers in whispers, but with us, he’s obnoxious.
I wait on the side of the stage with Eury while people fill up the club. The music is pumping now. Couples take to the dance floor. I spot my father and his crew hanging back, letting the young people take up room. I see Penelope and Aaron dancing. Jaysen talks to important-looking men. Melaina has commandeered a table front and center.
“Don’t be nervous,” Eury says. “You’re going to be great.”
This is a mistake. What am I doing? Eury leaves on Monday, and we are wasting time in this cursed building with this elitist clown who is, right now, serving wine to Melaina.
“Let’s go,” I say. “I changed my mind. I don’t want to do this.”
Eury grabs the loop of my belt and draws me close.
“Sing as if you are only singing to me,” she says. “I’ll be right here watching. Three songs. Only three songs. For me.”
We kiss, and it’s the courage I need. I can do this.
Sileno takes to the stage. He gives me a nod. We are about to begin.
“Welcome to Club Dīs-traction, the premier house in the Bronx for live music and libations. I’m the owner, Sileno, and I’m very proud to introduce our first Young People’s Night,” he says. “We are hoping for more events like this. What do you think?”
The crowd yells and applauds.
“Now, I’ve heard so much about this boy. Everyone seems to be talking about him, from Orchard Beach to Third Avenue. He’s going to be big and you are going to remember tonight. You heard him here first. Let’s give it up for el Nuevo Nene de la Bachata, Pheus!”
My father whistles a loud street whistle used to hail cops and to alert kids to get off the street. My friends holler. I hug Eury and give her too quick of a kiss. The guitar is tuned. My voice is primed. I’m ready.
CHAPTER 16
Eury
There are so many people here in the audience sending Pheus love. Yet even in this crowded club, there is only us. Pheus and Eury. I am meant to witness this very moment without fear of the future. There’s no Ato here to steal this away from me. There’s only Pheus, and he is mine.
The owner of the club, Sileno, suddenly appears backstage. He smells of red wine and something else. Desperation? No. I can’t quite place it. I do my best to move a couple of inches away from him.
Pheus raises his hand to settle the crowd. It takes a while, but eventually they listen. He strums his guitar. With a quick nod from Pheus, the musicians join him and begin to play. The first song is a cover of a Romeo Santos tune, a popular bachata. Couples quickly take to the dance floor. Their bodies pressed so closely, so intimately. I’m reminded of my week with Pheus. Every morning I would wake with a text from him. I let him know I was eating breakfast. That I was dressing. We counted down the minutes until we could be together.
The hallway became our home. A safe place between our two apartments. My aunt was annoyed at how Pheus was always around but was unable to stop us from meeting at such an innocent landing.
The threat of Ato lingered on those steps; however, it didn’t consume me. I was too busy laughing at Pheus’s corny jokes. When we kissed good night, I felt the pressure of time slipping past us. Another day nudging me closer to a flight back to Florida.
“He’s very good,” Sileno says. He moves closer, and I step away. “Do you sing?”
“No.”
“Aw, you must be a dancer,” he says. “I can show you some moves. You can share them with your boyfriend later.”
When Sileno says this, his fingers trace the side of my arm.
“Don’t touch me,” I say. It isn’t hard to tell the type of man Sileno is. It was obvious the minute we were introduced. He looked at me and Penelope as if we were morsels to eat.
The crowd screams their love for Pheus, who finishes his cover. He looks my way, so filled with happiness. Next to me, Sileno continues to stare. A server replenishes his glass with more wine. She holds out another glass to me, and I decline the invitation.
“You don’t drink?” he asks.
“I’m only seventeen,” I say.
“I won’t tell anyone.”
Pheus is about to sing a new song, the one he’s been working on all week. I hush Sileno. It doesn’t stop him. He continues to ask me why I’m not drinking. A row of girls intensely stare at Pheus as if they want to consume him. Sileno has a similar expression. He flirts and buzzes near my ear.
“Cállate—” I say as Sileno clumsily spills wine on the blouse I borrowed from Penelope. The red drips down to the floor like a wound.
“Oh no, I’m so sorry,” Sileno says.
“Just get away from me.” I leave in search of a bathroom to clean myself up. I’m so angry. I don’t want to miss the rest of the performance.
“Where’s the bathroom?” The beautiful servers are so mesmerized by Pheus’s voice they ignore me. I finally locate
one up a flight of stairs. I enter the empty bathroom and lock the door. I stink like wine. There is no way I will be able to get rid of this stain. The more water I add, the more the color spreads. Idiot. I should have sat by Penelope a long time ago.
I can hear Pheus’s melodic voice, stronger than I’ve ever heard him sing before. He calls to me from the stage. At first, he whispers my name. There’s a long pause, and the crowd goes silent. Then Pheus sings my name aloud. The audience yells in approval. Although I’m not seeing him, if I close my eyes I can still follow his gestures. He will have his eyes closed too. We will think of each other.
There’s only one more song left for Pheus to sing. I won’t miss it. I’ll find Penelope to avoid any further interruptions. If I hurry, I can still make it.
I open the door. Sileno is there.
CHAPTER 17
Pheus
I’ve sung this Romeo Santos song thousands of times, and yet tonight is different. This isn’t like playing on the beach with my friends. Back there, it didn’t matter if I flubbed a line or two. I never took it seriously. On this stage, I feel the surge of the energy from the audience. It feeds me. Got me feeling ten feet tall. With every verse, I can make couples dip closer to each other. When I hit the right note, the girls in front of the stage lean in. They watch my every move, and I ain’t gonna lie, I like it. I got this audience right in my hand.
Although I can’t turn to Eury every second, I can feel her presence. There is love. My first love. I’m not talking about lust, the desire to get with someone. This is more. The days we spent together this week sealed it for me. I haven’t said the three words to her, but I have shown them with my actions. I hope she can feel it. All them cheesy-ass romantic sayings hit me like a sledgehammer. Even if Eury has to go back to Tampa, we’ll figure it out. Jaysen says que yo estoy borracho de amor like Beyoncé. He may be right. Estoy asfixia’o.
It’s time to hit them with another song. This is the one I’ve been waiting to sing. My song for Eury. She’s heard bits and pieces of it throughout the week. Tonight it makes its debut. A love song dedicated to her.
“This song goes out to the special person in your life. The one that can see you. The one that doesn’t take shit from anyone. Tu amante,” I say. “The song is called ‘Mi Promesa.’ ‘My Promise.’ ”
Because these lyrics are so raw, I close my eyes.
“Eury.”
My voice is almost at a whisper. It’s just me and the guitar. I sing her name again, this time louder. These are the lyrics I’ve said to Eury this week. The promise to believe her. To strip away my doubts and listen.
The second verse I confess my love. This I have not shared with Eury. The girls in the audience swoon. The boys are making them love connections. When I open my eyes, Eury is gone. She must have decided to go with Penelope. I keep going.
The last song is a quick bachata, a number everyone can grind to. The only tune that will guarantee this is Joan Soriano’s “María Elena.” It’s sexy and fun. I play it fast so the dancers can swing their partners at a dizzying speed. The musicians keep up with the pace.
I grab the mic and practically lean off the stage. The girls pull on my sleeves. They want me. I keep singing. Their adoration fuels me. This feeling is a hundred times more electric than singing to my friends. I crave more, laughing and giving everything I got to the audience.
“¡Otra! ¡Otra!”
They don’t want me to stop. Jaysen signals for me to sing another. I turn to the band and tell them to play a classic bachata by Antony Santos. They know the one. Those in the audience sing along with me. There’s nothing like this. The girls swing their hips. The boys holler. This crowd living for me is a high, and I can’t get enough. The clapping seems never ending. I can sing for hours. My smile is ridiculous and large. Is this what Romeo Santos feels when he plays in those big stadium concerts? If it is, I want more.
“Bro, you did it!” Jaysen jumps on the stage and hugs me. Strangers grab my arm and pull me toward them. So many phones trying to capture this moment. It’s straight-up chaos, and I can’t stop laughing. It takes a while before it finally dawns on me. Eury is not around.
“Have you seen Eury?” I ask in between girls posing for selfies with me. Jaysen shakes his head. This doesn’t feel right.
CHAPTER 18
Eury
Sileno blocks the exit. I know what he wants. The crowd continues to scream for Pheus. No one will hear me if I scream.
“Please let me help,” he says.
“Leave me alone.”
His leer turns into a scowl. I try to push my way through, but he is stronger than me. His boots look like the hooves of a horse. They clop against the tiled bathroom floor. Sileno presses his face against mine. I kick and cry out. He won’t let me go. He tries to force his disgusting thin lips on mine. When I turn away, he thrusts his whole body forward.
There is a window above me, a small one. The windowpane begins to shake.
Ato is outside. He sees what Sileno is trying to do.
“Hey! Get out of there,” Sileno yells. He notices the young boy with brown curls. Ato jolts the window even more. He’s trying to break through.
“Hey! Away from the window.”
I use the interruption to push Sileno and run out of the bathroom. Outside, Ato waits for me. I can’t go out there. I go down the steps, toward the restaurant.
“Please, help me.”
The woman is tall and offers only a dead expression. There is no compassion. She looks straight through me.
“Please!”
The server instead offers me a glass of wine. I look over to the crowded restaurant. Those seated raise their glasses at me in a toast. Every single one of them with the same empty expression. They are part of this deception. Monsters. They are like Sileno, and this is a trap.
“¡Otra! ¡Otra!” The audience yells for Pheus to sing another song. I’m stuck in this building with a beast trying to rape me and an evil spirit outside waiting to kill me.
Melaina enters the restaurant. I run to her. When she sees me, she is cold, then notices the growing stain on my blouse and grins.
“The owner won’t leave me alone.” I’m near tears, unable to control my trembling.
“So?” she asks.
“Please help me.” I grab her arm. I can hear Sileno’s voice. He directs the servers to continue pouring wine to those things sitting at the tables. I need to get away. “I’m begging you!”
“Fine. Go to the roof. I’ll tell Pheus and Penelope to look for you there,” Melaina says. “Don’t worry. I’ll stop this fool. He won’t find you. Go.”
I hug Melaina because she is helping me even though she hates me. I’m covered in sweat as I run up the stairs. I pass the neon green sign that reads This Way to the Estigio Pool. The door leading to the rooftop pool isn’t locked. I push it open.
The pool is enclosed in a glass atrium. It is dark, but the moon illuminates my way. The place is empty. I send Pheus and Penelope texts, alerting them to where I am. They do not respond. There is a bar at the far end of the pool. I crouch down and hide behind it and wait. There’s nothing else to do but recite my prayers.
Please, Pheus, be quick. A prayer for Pheus to find me.
There is the sound of a button being pressed. The glass ceiling of the atrium slowly opens. I hold my breath. Sileno is here.
CHAPTER 19
Pheus
“Where is she? She was right by the stage.” I corner Jaysen. I have an awful feeling. This is not good. I can feel it in my gut.
“I haven’t seen her,” Jaysen says. “There’s somebody here who wants to meet you. A record producer.”
The man is dressed in the latest in hip-hop fashion. He screams money.
“One second,” I say before I’m pulled in from behind. It’s Pops.
“Proud of you, son. You gave it your all. Enjoy this moment,” he says. His friends congratulate me. This feels good, but it’s missing Eury.
�
��Thanks, Pops. Have you seen Eury?”
The first time he met her, Pops gave her a book of poetry by Neruda. Eury and I would take turns reading the verses aloud to each other. Pops said Eury has a good spirit and that I should do right by her. It wasn’t a warning, just a reminder to keep those you love close.
“No. I thought I saw a glimpse of her offstage,” he says. “Don’t stay here too long. This building contains too much trauma.”
Before I can get Pops to elaborate, another group of girls asks for a picture.
“I’ll let you get on with it.” Although he is smiling, I can tell Pops is feeling the uneasiness I’m feeling. “Be safe. Don’t be stupid.”
He walks back toward the bar. Pops won’t stay long, not when the price of a drink is so steep. He’ll continue to celebrate by the park.
I try my best to give people love, but honestly I just want to bounce. My phone has been turned off so as not to distract me or mess up any sound. I turn it back on. It’s taking too long to start up.
Melaina slinks over to me.
“Have you seen Eury?” I sound like a broken record.
“Who?” she says. “I don’t know her.”
“Stop acting out of pocket.” I look at my phone. It’s still not working. “Did you see her or not?”
Melaina makes with the duck lips. She can’t be this heartless. I ask again. Melaina huffs.
“She said something about someone bothering her. I told her to wait for you on the roof.” Penelope takes a long sip from her drink. “Also, there was this guy outside asking about her. A boy with curls. Competition?”
Ato. My heart sinks.
“Don’t say I never gave you anything,” Melaina says with a laugh.
It’s hard to navigate this crowd. No one wants to leave, and everyone wants a piece of me. Jaysen motions for me to meet the producer.
“I can’t do this right now,” I say. “I’ll be back.” His face is a wall of disappointment.
Never Look Back Page 12
