by D. J. Manly
"I'll reserve judgement for later," Angelo grunted.
"I'll tell you after I fuck you."
Tony's cock jerked. He licked his lips. "Well then, I guess I better get started eh?" Oh, God, how he wanted to be fucked by him.
Angelo mumbled something in return, pushing Tony's head toward his cock.
Tony took it into his mouth. The taste of it, the feel of it almost drove him off the edge. He had much better control than he once did, but Angelo was a different story. As he sucked and licked and tasted him, he heard himself moaning with pleasure, "ummm...ummm..." while Angelo banged his head up against the wall and swore softly. One of Tony's hands reached up to massage Angelo's swollen balls, while the other was inching his way across his gorgeous ass. Sliding his fingers inside, he teased Angelo's opening. Pre-cum leaked into his mouth, and again Tony moaned.
Suddenly, Angelo placed both hands on Tony's cheeks and urged him to release his cock. He was having difficulty speaking. "I'm going...going to...ahh...stop."
Tony chuckled, and moved his body up the length of him. He took his mouth. They kissed deeply, then Angelo pulled him to the bed. Reaching over to the nightstand, he took out a condom and lube. "Put it on me," he breathed, opening the condom with his teeth.
Tony placed the condom on the tip of Angelo's cock and began to unroll it, as Angelo told Tony to lie down.
He reached under his legs and found Tony's quivering anus. He got into position as he applied the lube, causing Tony to moan deeply. "Yes, yes," Tony said, lifting his legs. "Come on, baby, I want you so much."
Angelo grabbed his hips and within minutes, he was inside of him, pushing and thrusting, shouting something incoherent. As he pulled his cock out, and pushed it all the way in again, Tony's entire body went into spasm. "I'm going to...I'm going...ahhh... Angel... baby...I'm coming..." Angelo came soon after with a soft groan. He fell to his side and tried to control his breathing.
Tony rolled over to him and kissed him softly on the mouth. "Angelo," he said, "that was..."
"I know, Tony," he said, swallowing hard. He kissed him back. "I know."
* * * * * *
It was a little after six a.m. when the phone rang.
Johnny had just crawled into bed. He had given up on trying to comfort Drake. Nothing he said or did made it any better.
Drake was sitting in the living room, drinking his third glass of scotch. He was watching homemade videos of the four of them jamming together years ago.
There were parts that made him laugh until he cried.
He looked at the phone with tired eyes when it rang, lacking the energy to get up and answer it. Who in the hell would be calling at this time of morning?
On the fifth ring, just before the answering machine would have gotten it, Drake rose from the sofa and lifted the phone out of his cradle.
"Yeah?" he said.
It was Janet. "Is Mac there?"
"No. Why would he be here?"
"He was so upset this morning. He never slept. I thought maybe he was heading over there to...you know...talk it over with you."
"Well, he's not here," Drake replied. He didn't know what else to say. He couldn't remember a time when he and Mac had ever fought like that.
"Why didn't you tell him, Drake? Why didn't you warn him at least that you were going to make an announcement like that? When did you and Johnny make this decision?"
"We've been talking about it. Janet, I don't want to be another forty-year-old rock star. It's not the first time I've said this. Johnny and I need time together. We don't want to have to be at everyone's beck and call anymore. I didn't mean we would never perform again. I'm willing to do benefits and special guest appearances, but we want to call the shots, be able to play when we want to rather than be strangled by a contract. That's all."
"But where does that leave Mac and Pepi, who aren't ready to retire?" Janet demanded.
"Janet, I don't want to discuss this right now. Give it a rest. I had some plans, but no one..."
"You made a mistake tonight, Drake, you and Johnny. It was selfish of you, heartless to announce it the way you did."
"You're right. I wasn't thinking. We didn't expect to be initiated into the Hall of Fame. If we would have---"
"Tell it to Mac. He loves you and right now, he thinks you betrayed him."
"Fine, goodbye." He slammed the phone down.
Johnny appeared suddenly, sleepy-eyed, dressed in his robe. "Who was that?"
"Janet, giving me shit because of Mac," Drake grunted.
"Where's Mac?"
"He took off a long time ago. He's pissed at me."
Drake sighed. "I'm going to take a shower, change and try to find him. I think I know where he is."
"Want me to come?"
"No. One of us should get some sleep," he muttered and ran upstairs to get ready.
* * * * * *
When Tony opened his eyes and saw the empty place beside him, he was immediately convinced that Angelo had already left. He bolted upright in bed and let out an angry shout.
He couldn't believe that after last night, Angelo could just walk away.
When Angelo heard the scream coming from the bedroom, he dropped the full coffee filter and raced into the room.
When Tony saw Angelo standing there, wearing those faded jean shorts that were as old as sin itself, he didn't know what was more comical, the fact that he'd thought he had left him or the expression of sheer horror on Angelo's handsome young face.
"What...what?" he insisted, narrowing his dark eyebrows. Tony began to laugh.
"Are you all right? I thought you were dying in here."
Tony crawled off the bed, unconcerned about his state of undress. "Ah..." he said, placing his hands on Angelo's face and then enfolding him in his arms, "I'm sorry, baby. Did I scare you? I thought you had gone."
"Gone?" Angelo gawked at him. "Gone where? Jesus Tony, you scared the shit out of me. I dumped all the coffee in the sink."
Tony released him. "I'm sorry," and then he started laughing again. He was so very happy. He felt as if he was dancing on air and he did a little dance just to prove to himself that his feet were touching the ground.
Angelo folded his arms across his broad chest.
"You're quite a sight, you know, dancing around the room naked. Keep it up and you'll be back in that bed."
Tony smiled, "Sounds good to me. After all, there's no coffee." He winked.
Angelo returned the smile. "You know, you're right. We could go out," he teased as Tony took his arm and pulled him over to the bed.
"Never mind going out," Tony replied, kissing him, "all the coffee shops are closed today." He began fumbling with the zipper on those jean shorts.
"Who says?" Angelo laughed, trying to playfully push his hands away.
"I say," Tony laughed, pushing him on the bed.
"Oh well," Angelo grinned, "if you say, then I guess..."
"Oh, shut up," Tony jumped on top of him. "You're too damn beautiful, and you talk too much."
"Oh, you'll pay for that," Angelo told him as they started rolling around the bed, laughing like two little boys.
"Oh, God," Tony groaned. "I hope so."
* * * * * *
Drake lifted a hand to the security guard who stopped him at the gate and checked his pass. He wasn't the regular guard who worked during the week.
"Good morning, Mr. Russo," he said after checking the pass. "Getting an early start today, are you?"
"Yes, is anyone else here?"
"Just Mr. Hayes. He's been here for a few hours."
"Thanks," Drake said, driving through to the parking lot. He parked his car next to Mac's four by four, turned off the engine and sighed.
"Oh, Mac," he thought. There wasn't another person alive he loved as much as he did Mac, except Johnny, of course. He loved his family, but it wasn't the same. Mac was his best friend in the entire world. He wondered how he could have been so callous.
He walked into the stu
dio, listening to the sound the heels of his boots made on the stucco flooring. He stopped outside Studio One. The recording light was off, but he could hear music. It was their music playing on tape.
Drake took a breath and then opened the door.
Mac didn't look up as he came in. He was sitting alone in a plastic chair. The music was loud. It filled the room.
"I like that one," Drake said softly as he came closer and took a chair across from him. "The drumming is especially good."
Mac's blue eyes looked into his dark ones.
"Mac, forgive me. Please." He leaned over to touch his hand.
Mac moved it away.
Drake sighed heavily. "You're going to make this hard for me, aren't you?"
"Why in the hell didn't you warn me?" Mac demanded, his eyes rimmed with red. "You hit me with this tonight, out of the fucking blue. You're going to rip this band apart, our band, and I don't even have a say?"
Drake bit his lip. "You're right. It is our band, isn't it? It was you and I in the beginning. Johnny was younger and so he came along a little later, and Pepi later still. I owe you much more than this and I..." he paused and looked away.
"You're the best friend I've ever had, Drake," Mac said softly. "I wouldn't do for anyone else in the world what I'd do for you, you know that."
Drake nodded.
"Before Janet became my wife, this band was my whole life. What am I supposed to do now?"
His eyes were pleading and Drake moved his chair closer. "You don't have to retire, Mac. You and Pepi and---"
"Don't tell me that!" Mac snapped. "Don't treat me like an idiot. You are this band, Drake Russo. You are the core, the heart, the soul, its inspiration. Even if we could, do you think that either Pepi or I would want to go on without you? Tell me the truth, be honest with me, goddamn it, why are you doing this now?"
"Mac, I'm almost thirty-eight years old, and---"
"So am I. So what? Look at you, you have the body and the stamina of a twenty-five-year-old. You are one of the most talented musicians I've ever known, and I'm not the only one to say that. You're at the height of your career. I don't believe you can live without performing. It's in your blood, it's in your soul. It's who you are, who we are!"
Drake swallowed, and then whistled softly. "That's one hell of a speech there, pal."
"Oh, don't get smug with me," Mac stood up and paced around. "Are you threatened by your son?"
"God, no. I mean...maybe a little. I already talked to him about it. It's natural to feel my age when I see him. He's got so much to accomplish...to look forward to. I, on the other hand..."
"What? Have done it all? God, you'd swear you were dying. Christ, you're not dying, are you?" Mac looked alarmed suddenly.
"Not that I'm aware," Drake muttered.
"Thank God. You talk like an eighty-year-old. Are you that much afraid of growing old, Drake?"
Drake fell silent, and then he stood up. "Mac, I'm feeling my age, yes, but that's not it. I...I want to spend time with Johnny. I want to retire, so that he will too."
Mac blinked, and then without asking him, he knew.
They had all noticed how much Johnny had slowed down since the shooting. Drake was leaving the band for Johnny, not for him.
"Drake..." Mac came forward as he noticed tears on his face, reached up and wiped them off. "Why didn't you tell me before?"
"It was the doctor last time Johnny went for his checkup. He told me in confidence that Johnny needed to slow down. When I asked him what he meant by slow down. he said retire. He told me the touring and the jumping around on stage was not good for him and that if he didn't slow down, he was going to die young. He also has to have surgery on his eye. He's been putting that off. There's a chance he could lose his sight completely in that eye eventually. I want us to spend time together, away from the limelight and obligations. I love him, Mac. He's my whole world. I'm so afraid to lose him."
Mac held him for a few minutes, holding back his own tears.
"Please," Drake cleared his throat, "don't say anything to Johnny about this, or anyone else right now. He thinks I want out because I'm getting close to forty."
Mac shook his head. "I know why you're so important to me, Drake."
"Probably for the same reason that you're so important to me, Maxwell," he teased. It had been a long time since Drake had called him Maxwell.
They hugged each other again and went out to breakfast. Over breakfast, Drake began to tell Mac his plans for the band.
"Yes, but your plans are contingent upon everyone else agreeing to them," Mac sipped his coffee.
Drake nodded. "I know it's a lot to bring together, but it's my vision."
"So retire, but still with his fingers in the cookie jar?"
Mac grinned.
"So to speak. What do you think? I mean, Johnny and I could be consultants, and even perform with you occasionally. We could do some joint recording."
Mac laughed. "And when do you actually retire?"
Drake clicked his tongue.
"What does Frank think?"
"Frank is fit to be tied. He told me to call him when I come to my senses, but I think he'll see it my way, eventually."
"There goes his third condo!" Mac drawled. "So when do we broach this with everyone?"
"There is plenty of time yet. We have four shows coming up and some recording time later in the summer. Let's play it by ear. Deal!" He held out his hand.
Mac took it. "Sounds good. You better talk to your youngest brother soon. He's making little voodoo dolls of your image and sticking pins in it."
Drake nodded. "I'll swing by his place after we finish breakfast. Come with me," he pleaded.
"No way. Pep has the Russo temper. You're on your own, old buddy."
Drake nodded. They separated at the restaurant, both of them feeling more optimistic about the future now that their relationship was on the road to recovery.
To pretend that he wasn't tired as he drove toward Pepi's house in Bel Air would have been quite senseless. Twice he almost swerved into the wrong lane.
He was relieved to get off the exit and practically got on his knees and kissed the ground when he pulled up outside of Pepi's.
This wasn't going to be easy. He rang the bell and waited.
* * * * * *
Angelo couldn't believe it when he heard his mother calling his name. He snapped open his eyes and sat up, pulling the sheet up around him. "Jesus, it's my mom," he told Tony, who rubbed sleepy eyes and just kind of froze.
"What in hell is she doing here?" Angelo groaned, jumping out of bed and pulling on his old shorts.
"Coming, Mother, I was sleeping. I'm just putting on some clothes. Coming." He looked at Tony, bent down and kissed him quickly on the lips, and said, "Get dressed."
Tony yawned and stretched as Angelo left the room, zipping up his shorts as he went. He closed the door behind him.
Tony laughed a little when he heard him say, "Mom, what a nice surprise," and climbed out of bed.
His clothes were right where he had left them last night, which basically meant that they were everywhere. He found his underwear and his socks, but where in hell were his jeans?
Maybe Angelo wouldn't mind if he borrowed some clean stuff from him. He had the distinct feeling that his jeans and his shirt were somewhere in the hall. He hoped that Angelo had the good sense to pick them up.
Tony opened the drawer of the bureau and found some underwear and socks. In the second drawer, there were T-shirts. He chose a tan one. In the bottom drawer were shorts. There was a navy pair of dressy Bermudas that Tony had never seen Angelo in. They were nice.
He began to pull on the shorts and then stopped to listen as he thought he heard his Aunt crying.
He ran a comb through his hair and opened the bedroom door. He could hear them quite plainly now.
"But he was really upset, Drake," Janet complained.
"Your father means a lot to him. What ever possessed him to make that an
nouncement without even warning Mac?"
"Mom, Dad and Mac will be all right. Dad will talk to him."
"But where are they?" Janet muttered.
Tony took a breath. He wasn't sure if he should make his aunt aware that he was there or not.
He leaned against the door and closed his eyes. He really wished that she wasn't here. It was so nice being alone with Angelo. It was like a dream, the two of them in their own little world. He was afraid to let it end.
What if it never happened again? What if..."
He heard a baby cry. Janet had Abigail with her.
Tony took a step out of the room and walked down the hall. "Hello, Aunt Janet," he said, raising a hand.
Angelo was holding his little sister, bouncing her up and down in his arms.
Janet's eyes widened. She cleared her throat. "Hello, Tony. I...hope...I..." she looked at her son, bewildered.
"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" She was embarrassed.
"No," Drake smiled at his mother. "Come on out in the kitchen, I'll make coffee."
Tony followed.
Angelo handed his little sister to Tony. "Hold her, will you, while I clean the coffee out of the sink."
"Why is the sink full of coffee grounds?" Janet asked.
"Ask your nephew," Angelo grinned.
Tony gave Angelo a dirty look. "Forget it." He made a face at the baby, and she giggled.
Janet took a cigarette out of her purse and placed it in her mouth.
Angelo took it out of her mouth on his way to the fridge and threw it in the garbage.
She clicked her tongue, but said nothing.
Tony hid a smile.
"So," Angelo said, scooping more coffee into the filter, "what is Dad planning on doing now that he's going to retire?"
Janet turned and looked at her son.
Tony sat Abigail on the table and pulled out a chair.
She was busy pulling his hair.
"From the look on your face, you don't believe Drake is going to retire, do you?" Janet demanded.
