She shook her head, stepping away from me again. My chest felt hollow, empty.
My two girls, so different, but so alike. One good, and one evil. Mum’s voice again, ringing quietly in my skull.
When the whole world looked at you with horror, you were completely alone.
Was that how monsters were made?
I understood then—that was what had created the dark side of Lilith.
“Zahra!” I shouted. “It’s me!” The anger in Lilith’s voice cut through my own, and the sound echoed off the stone walls.
Harlow had gone pale, but she wasn’t moving away from me. The snowflakes were landing in her long, black eyelashes. Her pale blue eyes shone brightly in the fog.
Her hand flew to her mouth, and her forehead wrinkled. “Is that really you, Lila? What happened to you? It’s terrible.”
“Is it?” My lip curled. “Seems to me like I got stronger.”
Her cheeks were bright pink, and her blonde curls tumbled over a white fur collar. Her eyes shone with a mixture of curiosity and revulsion. For a moment, I saw myself through her eyes—the mad hair, the iron cuffs around my wrists. A black dress hanging off my body, one I’d been sleeping in. The midnight wings, eyes like obsidian. A horror.
Harlow’s mouth was still open, her hand covering it. “Well, I try to be kind to all creatures. No matter how unfortunate or … or …” She trailed off. “Demonic,” she finished in a whisper.
I took in her fragile mortal beauty, the pale hair, the shimmering cheekbones, the expensive ivory gown. She looked … delicate. Breakable.
Lilith’s emotions were mingling with my own. Hers were too powerful, too intense to control. Lilith had some way of turning off her emotions, but I didn’t know how to do it, so they were raging in me like a churning tempest.
I took a step closer. “Do I scare you, Harlow?”
She visibly shuddered at the sound of my voice.
She lifted her chin, and her eyes darted between the castle and me. “It doesn’t matter who scares me. The count is going to become King of the Fallen. And I will be his wife. He will protect me.”
My fingers curled into fists. “Have you met him yet? How do you know you want to marry him?”
“I haven’t met him.” Her breath puffed around her face in little clouds. “But that doesn’t matter. Destiny is destiny, and I was born to be a queen.”
“Sounds like true love.”
She schooled her features and took a step closer to me. Leaning in, she whispered in my ear. “Nobody loves the monsters. You of all people will learn that.” When she stepped away again, she was smiling brightly. “He’s supposed to choose between Zahra and me. I’m certain he will see that I’m the best person to help him rule over Albia.”
Zahra glared at her, speaking for the first time, her eyes flashing. “I have no intention of marrying anyone. And Harlow has quite sweetly told me that a woman of my profession would not be a serious consideration.”
“I didn’t say it to be rude,” Harlow blurted. “Only that there are certain standards expected from a ruler. Everyone knows that. His wife must be untouched by other men, or how would anyone know whose child she bore? If you gave birth, Zahra, no one would have any idea who the father was. That’s all I was saying.”
I wanted to be angry at her, but now I couldn’t feel much beyond an oppressive, icy sense of isolation. I glanced at Sourial, at Zahra, until the misty sky pulled my gaze away.
Lilith had somewhere she wanted to take me.
I felt my body going strangely still, and I cocked my head to stare up. I was the evil queen. The monstrous hag. I was the spurned one you were supposed to hate.
Zahra touched my arm, and my head swiveled to her.
She took a step back again. “I don't understand what happened to you. How did you become a demon?”
“This is who I am,” I said. “It’s who I always was. I just didn’t know. I’ve always been a demon. Alice knew. Mum knew. But it was news to me.”
Zahra’s eyes gleamed in the sunlight. “I’m only here because I was told to come. And I was hoping to see you. They said you might be the count’s prisoner. No one knows that you are ...” She trailed off. “Are you—I thought demons were …”
“Evil?” My gaze flicked to Sourial. He was starting to rip through his vines now, a furious snarl rumbling from his chest. “He would probably tell you that I am. But no one feels evil, do they?” My fingers tightened into fists. “I don’t feel evil. I don’t really know. I think the jury’s still out on that one.”
I wondered if I could take Sourial in a fight now. I felt a million times stronger than before, but maybe I shouldn’t stick around to find out.
I reached out to touch Zahra’s face. “I have to go. Good luck with whatever happens next.”
“Where are you going?” asked Zahra.
Just then, Sourial ripped through the vines around his mouth, with a growl that reverberated off the stones.
My wings spread out behind me, and I took to the skies. Winter wind rushed over me, tearing at my hair as I flew.
Where was I going? Now that was a good question.
Samael
In a dark wood room, candles flickered, wax dripping onto vibrant cloth. It smelled heavily of opium and frankincense.
I sat by myself before a table spread with cards, each one painted with blue and red and gold. Crystals surrounded a metal teapot, painted the colors of the sea.
The soothsayer—Madame Serena—had draped the chairs and walls in bright silk cloths. In the old Railway Tavern, this was the room for fortunes.
The other rooms in this establishment were used for much different activities. From the next room, I could hear the sounds of mortals groaning and gasping.
Here, in the southeast of Dovren, the sailors came to drink and smoke and fuck. And sometimes, they would consult the fortune tellers about their future—would they die at sea? Would they find treasure? Would they find love?
Unlike the other charlatans around here, Serena was a genuine soothsayer. Someone who could read cards, interpret dreams. And I’d known her for centuries as someone who told the truth.
But for once, I wanted her to tell me that my dreams were wrong. Because if they were right, it would feel very much like the world was ending.
I pulled a flask from my pocket and took a sip, closing my eyes.
When I opened them again, Serena was gliding into the room. Her dark curls draped over a translucent green silk dress. Her skin was an unlined golden brown. She was a nephilim centuries old, but she looked no older than twenty.
“Count Saklas. Apologies for being late. The trains were so slow today! There’s ice on the tracks. Have you ever known a winter this cold? I nearly froze to death just sitting in the train car. And on the way from the station to here, I think my toes went numb. It’s well below zero, and do you know that it actually hurts my face? So I was visiting my sister Thura in the Weald. She’s a soothsayer, too. She has a lovely little home by the Bryne River, a cottage in a Sycamore grove. The river itself is half frozen—”
“Lovely. Thanks,” I cut her off. Serena had a tendency to drone on, and I had no idea how to end it.
Her wrists and ankles jangled delicately with little bells and charms as she moved. She smiled and flicked her hair over her shoulder. “Fine. So you don’t want to talk about the weather. It is the favorite pastime of mortals, you know. The weather is their true god and rules their fortunes from day to day. But you haven’t spent enough time around mortals to pick up their habits. Aren’t you going to pull down your cowl so I can see your beautiful face?” She leaned in closer, fluttering her eyelashes. “I always did love those swirls of gold on your cheekbones when you start to become violent. Beautiful, beautiful, terrifying Samael.”
Until recently, I wouldn’t have noticed that she was flirting. I paid no mind to women’s attention. After Lila, I noticed. But it wasn’t this woman’s attentions I wanted.
Across from
me at the round table, she poured a steaming cup of aromatic tea and slid it over. “Okay. Keep your face hidden, then. And we will not discuss the terrible weather. I can see into your soul anyway. And what a beautiful, twisted and horrific soul it is. And I think I know why you’re here. You’re hoping that your fate has changed since the last time.”
“My dreams are confusing me.” I picked up the hot teacup, taking a sip of floral tea.
Serena pulled the deck of cards into her hands. Smiling coyly at me, she began shuffling, the cards fluttering rapidly between her fingertips. “I don’t think you are confused. I think you know exactly what your dreams mean. You just don’t like what they have to say. And you didn’t like what I had to say. I see this a lot. I give the answers, and people don’t like what they hear. So they come back again.”
“But my dreams no longer make sense.” I could hear the edge in my voice. “They’d been telling me that I must marry Lila all along. I’d seen her in a wedding dress again and again. She was the one who would lead me to Lilith, and I needed to marry her.”
She quirked an eyebrow. “And did she lead you to Lilith?”
“Yes.”
“Then she has served her purpose.” Serena shrugged. “What was wrong about that?”
“My dreams now say I should marry another.”
“We already discussed this at the last reading. Lila is no longer your future, is she? If you marry her, you cannot become King of the Fallen. And if you are not king, your reaper side will take over completely. You will have no purpose, and darkness will claim your heart. You can’t just force the world to be the way you want it to be. Fate is fate. As I said to my sister Thura—she hates the cold. Absolutely hates it. She wanted me to tell her—”
“Why don’t we get on with the new reading?” I snapped.
She rapidly dealt the cards—forming a star shape. Then, she cocked her head at them.
I followed her gaze to a grotesque card—a demon with sharp teeth, long claws, eyes black as pitch. He stood over the dead body of a woman, licking blood off his fingers. I shuddered.
“I’m no soothsaying card reader, but that doesn’t look good. But you always say the death card isn’t necessarily bad—”
“Those are tarot cards. These are not tarot cards. They show me what will happen more directly.”
My stomach dropped. “Is that supposed to be Lilith?”
Her forehead wrinkled. “Oh, dear. No, this is actually worse news than last time. This is you.”
I found myself wrapping my hands around the hot teacup. “What?”
She met my gaze. “You’re turning into a demon.”
My fist clenched so tight the teacup shattered between my fingers. “What are you talking about?”
She sighed. “You fell from the heavens once, and when you did, you lost your purpose. Your life no longer had meaning. But that wasn’t the end of your descent. The further you get from your destiny, the further you fall. Some demons come from fallen angels who became more depraved on earth. You know your destiny, Samael. You are supposed to become the King of the Fallen. In order to become king, you must marry a mortal. If you don’t, you will become a demon. Bereft of all purpose, you—the angel of death—would be more dangerous than any demon before you.”
I looked down at my hand where I'd smashed the teacup. Blood streamed from my palm. I shook off the little ceramic shards and watched as my skin started to heal. “I will not become a demon. It’s unthinkable.” As is marrying a mortal I don’t love.
She pointed to another card. This one showed a woman in a wedding gown with a bouquet of flowers. “You can choose to marry a mortal if you wish to remain a fallen angel. You have two mortal women you are choosing from now. Is that correct?”
I stared at my healing palm. “My dreams showed them to me, but I have no desire to marry either of them. I am supposed to meet them when I return to the Iron Fortress, but I have no desire to.”
She pointed to a card that depicted a crumbling tower with people falling from it into flames.
“Your heart lies with another,” she said. “A woman with darkness in her. Someone dangerous to you. She can be a force of destruction.” She flipped another card, one that showed a man lying on cobblestones, his body ripped to shreds by thorny vines.
I grimaced. “These are really specific.”
“If you choose her, Dovren’s streets will run with blood.” She lifted my chin, and stared into my eyes. “I think it’s time for you to sleep. See the truth for yourself.”
Darkness washed over me, and I felt myself falling through the cold air, my body slashed by glass. I watched the walls of the Iron Fortress rush past as I hurdled down to the moat that surrounded it. My wedding ring glinted against the night sky.
As I fell, I felt myself changing, wanting to taste blood, to bite into flesh. I wanted to sever the spines of my enemies. I wanted to hear their screams.
Instead of the moat, I landed hard on the earth, feet planted firmly on stony ground. I reached for my sword, Asmodai. When I pulled it out of its sheath, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the blade. Not an angel anymore, but a demon. Eyes black as coal, bronze horns sprouting from my skull.
I bared my teeth, and long incisors gleamed. The gold tattoos on my cheekbones darkened to a deep copper.
I stalked through the iron gate, dark magic spilling from my body. I prowled the streets of Dovren until I found her—my oldest enemy. Lilith stood on the battlements of Castle Hades, and her magic billowed over the city. Her army of beasts tore into the mortals sprawling before her, and thorny vines shot from the ground to tear them to pieces.
My eyes snapped open, and I sucked in a deep breath.
In the tea room again, I was once more sitting across from Serena. Except now, I was gripping the edge of the table. “What the fuck was that?”
She shrugged. “The future, if you marry Lila.”
“Lila was slaughtering mortals. That’s what happens if I stay with her?”
“And you would be compelled to stop her, would you not? Lilith has always been your enemy. If she turns on you, you might kill her. Again.”
Horror spilled through my blood. “And you’re sure there is no way to exorcise her.”
“We have been over this. No.”
My heart sank. I had no desire to choose one of these mortals.
One of them was the woman that Lila had been impersonating—perhaps fate had intended for me to meet her. I’d seen her twice in my dreams wearing a white veil, walking down an aisle.
The other was different. She frequented the upper floors of the music hall, and I’d seen her five times in my dreams dressed as a bride, golden hair gleaming over a pale cream gown.
Serena leaned back in her chair. “So now you must choose between them. Close your eyes, Samael. You will see the answer now.”
I closed my eyes and saw her again, my future bride. She was smiling at me, her face beaming.
A crown rested on my head, the weight of it oppressive.
All I had to do was marry this mortal woman. It didn’t matter that this felt like a betrayal—of Lila, of myself. It was what I was supposed to do to stop the streets running with blood.
I had to marry Harlow to keep Lila safe. Because if Lilith took over Lila’s body, seeking revenge against mortals, I’d be compelled to stop her. And as a demon? I might not do it diplomatically.
Dread crept between my ribs and settled there. This was the life I must lead, and yet it was one without love.
A slamming sound pulled me from this terrible vision. When I opened my eyes, I found that someone had joined us. Gasping for breath, Emma now stood in the doorway, a trickle of sweat running down her temple. Her dark skin glowed with exertion, eyes wide.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. How had she even found me all the way in Sailor’s Row?
She inhaled deeply. “They didn’t want to let me in here. I had to tell them it was an emergency. Sourial thought I might find you
here. Hang on. Out of breath.”
Worry flickered through my chest. “Emma, what is the emergency?”
“Lila has escaped. She’s Lilith now, I think. And she’s gone. She knows you plan to marry another mortal, and she just snapped. I’m worried she will join the Free Men.”
Lila
My army of beasts ran under me—pouring through the streets, bodies glowing with magic.
Beneath me, mortals screamed, slamming their windows shut.
But the army had grown thinner, hadn’t it?
Faintly, I felt the Free Men calling to me, luring me to join them in the north. It was the temptation of the powerful book that had given me life, tugging on me with an invisible thread.
My stomach growled. Thinking about the book made me feel a strange sort of hunger. I could see it in my mind’s eye, bathed in golden light, and I wanted to devour its knowledge.
The book was pulling me closer. It wanted me to know where it was, to find it. It lay open on a wooden table.
A lantern cast warm, flickering light over the table. Where was this room? The view through the glass was hazy …
I swallowed hard, hoping I wasn’t on my way there now. But I knew I was bound to this book, and its power over me was growing stronger.
Pushing the book out of my mind, I focused on the cold sting of the wind on my face.
From the winding streets far below, a few streetlamps illuminated the fog. Memories started flooding me. I knew these streets of course, but Lilith knew them in another age. She was taking me somewhere she’d been many times before—to Sanguine Square—the ancient spot of public executions. This was the place where kings and queens had once burned traitors. For centuries, blood had flowed here. There were the mortals executed, and the cows butchered.
Humans were no longer disemboweled here, but the butchers worked in the square to this day. Here, the scent of blood always filled the streets. In the cold wind over the rooftops, I circled. Mum wasn’t staying far, probably drunk in the old priory.
Possessed (Hades Castle Trilogy Book 3) Page 2
