I shut my mouth, realizing Lilith’s soul was clamoring for more and more space in my mind. She wasn’t exactly a nice person, and yet I was growing attached to her.
“I’m the Venom of God, deliverer of divine wrath. I don’t think I’ll need backup.”
I gestured at the house. “But what if I want to stay with my new friend, Nico? He’s mortal, but he doesn’t think demons are empty husks without souls.” I shrugged. “We’re only just getting to know each other, but we get along all right. Looks like we might both end up with mortals.”
His wings spread out behind him, shot through with golden threads that seemed to glow from within. I’d really raised his hackles, which delighted me. “Don’t be absurd.”
“So,” I asked breezily, “which little bride are you choosing? If you had any sense, you would choose Zahra. Harlow is a—how do I put this delicately—Harlow is an absolute fucking twat.”
“Fate has decreed that I must choose Harlow.”
“Of course. You knob-head.” Darkness spilled through my blood, and her words echoed in my mind. Nobody loves a monster. “Well, Samael. You disappoint me more than I ever could have imagined. You were once the Venom of God, but you’re not now. And now you’re marrying Harlow, just so you can get a promotion to king. When you were divinely created from primordial stardust or whatever, I doubt anyone imagined you’d turn out so … tedious.”
His magic slid through my bones. “But you don’t find me boring at all, do you?”
So rankled ... Delightful. “Oh I see. Your ego needs to be fed. That’s an angel thing, isn’t it? You fall from Heaven, you feel empty. Deep down, you still want to be worshipped, like you were in the old days. Right? You know what? I remember you before you fell. You glowed with a divine, heavenly light. It was hard to look away. Maybe I cut you to pieces because I was jealous of that light. All pretty things have to die, don’t they? But now? The light is gone from you—nothing but shadows. You’re empty, and you try to fill that void with death. But it’s never enough. You’re not an angel now. You’re a monster—just like me. Except unlike me, you won’t admit it. You’re at war with yourself. And that’s what makes you boring.”
Bloody hell. That had come from Lilith, and she was mean. I thought I liked it.
When I went after the Mysterium Liber, it would be on my own terms.
Samael’s eyes darkened. I’d just accused him of being empty, but I felt it just as much as he did. Hollow.
Mum said as a baby I had a hunger that could never be filled, and I felt it now, carving through me. I glanced back at my little house with the warm windows. Nico stared out at us. A sharp yearning for my simpler, mortal life pierced me.
“I’m empty and boring? And you, Lilith, are a horrific plague on this earth.” His ice-cold voice chilled my blood.
“Is that right?” I found my fingers clenching, then my fist slammed into his jaw. The sound of my knuckles against his bone echoed through the square. As I drew back to land a second punch, his arm shot out, and he grabbed me by the fist, his grip crushing.
Snarling, I kneed him hard in the groin, and he dropped his grip. Lightning fast, he grabbed my leg, twisting until I flipped over, slamming face down on the cobblestones. Pain shot through my chest, and the fall winded me. But I didn’t have long to catch my breath if I wanted to gain control again.
Anger flooded me, and now I just wanted to hurt him. I flipped onto my back, then pushed up on one hand. I lifted my hips to kick him hard in the kneecap, then leapt to my feet again.
Catching my breath, I widened my stance.
“What are you trying to prove?” He asked, a dangerous edge in his voice.
“Nothing. I’m just furious that you turned out to be such a disappointment.”
Shifting forward, I swung for his face, but he brought his wrist up to block it. I ducked, jabbing him in the side with my left fist.
He exhaled sharply. But this time, when I punched again, he grabbed my fist and twisted it, spinning me around. He pinned my arms to my sides in a crushing bear hug. Surrounded by the steel of his muscles, I was in a vise-like grip, the air crushed out of me.
He leaned down, whispering, “We’re not going to get anywhere if you’re lying to me. You’re furious because fate is forcing me to choose another. Not because I disappoint you.”
Fate wasn’t forcing a bloody thing. He was choosing another.
I swiveled my hips back to the right—behind him. Then I hooked my left leg behind both of his feet, sweeping them. The angel of death toppled down next to me on the cobbles.
Before I could leap up again, he was on top of me.
He pinned me down with his thighs, straddling either side of my ribs.
“You want me to trust you, Lilith? Attacking me is a strange way to go about it.”
“You want me in chains because you don’t trust me. Yes, I threw you out the window. But you seem to forget I’m the one who saved you, too. I risked my life to get you back to the Iron Fortress safely. But you don’t have a need for me anymore, because I’m a demon.”
“Lila saved me,” he hissed. “Not Lilith. They are two very different people. Lilith and I are deeply dangerous for each other. History has proven that. And right now, only Lilith is left.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. We’re both here now.”
“Why should I believe that?”
I slid one hand up his arm to his bicep. “We walked together by the railway arches. We met a little girl named Hannah who sold you the boutonnieres. I gave her my fruit tart, after taking a bite.” He seemed entranced by me now, listening to my every word. And while his attention was on my eyes, I brought my right hand over to my left. I now had a firm grip on his arm. “You added your feathers to the boutonnieres. A bit of crafting.”
He leaned down closer to me. “Lila.”
Slowly, I hooked my left leg over his, trapping his ankle between my thigh and my foot. “The ring you gave me said I am yours and you are mine. You scrambled around outside the castle looking for acorns for me, because you wanted to keep me safe. But guess what?” With his left leg trapped, I thrust my hips up. Using my grip on his left arm, I pushed him off me, forcing him onto the ground.
He landed on the snowy cobbles with a thud, and I slid my thigh over his waist, climbing on top of him. Straddling him, I stared down at him. “I’m stronger now. That bothers you, doesn’t it? You want a little pure and innocent mortal to protect. Well, now you have one. It’s just the most boring possible choice, and you refuse to accept what you are.”
“She wasn’t my choice. She will never be my choice. That’s not the problem. The problem is, the Free Men will start to control you with their magic book. If you become their weapon, I don’t want to have to stop you. I already killed you once, didn’t I Lilith? I can’t do it again. I’m just not convinced I can control myself any better than you can control yourself, not with …”
I narrowed my eyes. “With what?”
He pulled his gaze away from me, watching a wolf stalk out of the square. “They’re already calling to you, aren’t they? How long until you’re just a puppet?”
Except I didn’t feel it quite as strongly right now. When I was close to Samael, I didn’t feel the hunger, the sharp tug of the book. I only felt his deliciously powerful magic simmering over me.
I rose, and watched as he stood. “I think I can control it. I’ll tell you if I can’t.”
His fiery gaze pinned mine, and his wings spread out behind him. “Can you really help me find the book?”
I nodded. “I think I picture it, if I focus. I might be able to get enough details to help us locate it. But I want to leave now. I don’t want to go back to the Iron Fortress.”
“We have to let Sourial know what we’re doing. I’ll be leaving him in charge while we’re gone.”
I sighed. “Fine. We’ll go back long enough to tell him what we’re doing. Then we can go after the book.”
He turned away from me an
d took off into the sky, and I watched him soar into the mist. Breathtaking.
I felt the hot tingle down my spine as my wings spread out behind me, and I followed after him.
He could never in a million years bore me, but as long as it annoyed him, I’d let him think he could.
It was just unfortunate that he was right about one thing: we were dangerous for each other, and neither of us had a handle on our dark sides.
Lila
We touched down in the snow outside the Iron Fortress, where icicles hung from every windowsill, and from the gargoyles above the doorway. I was freezing down to my bones. Only when we were inside did I start to thaw a little.
By Samael’s side, I walked up the stairs. “Do you want to speak to Sourial alone?” I asked.
“No, because I don’t want to leave you unsupervised.”
I rolled my eyes. “Right. You’re babysitting me. So where are we meeting Sourial, then?”
“We need secrecy for what we are doing,” he said quietly. “We’re going to a soundproof room where the servants won’t be able to hear us. We have a traitor in this fortress. Whoever let Alice free.”
“How do you know it wasn’t me?” I asked. “Considering you don’t seem to trust me.”
“I trust Lila. Not Lilith. But Lilith wasn’t here when Alice was released. It was Lila. I remember the moment very distinctly, and it would have been impossible to act. Lila was quite literally tied up in my bed at the time.”
My cheeks heated at the memory. “Right. You don’t have to talk about me in the third person, you know. I am Lila now.”
So who else was guilty? Harlow was clearly a dickhead, but she’d only just arrived. The fortress’s magical barriers would have kept out any outsiders at the time Alice had been freed.
On the second floor, Samael turned off into another hallway and knocked on a door. Sourial pulled it open, and his gaze darted right past Samael to me.
“You collected Lilith.” His tone was icy. He still hadn’t managed to pull all the remnants of the vines off himself, and a few bits of leaves still clung to his clothes. “Why is she not locked up?”
“Join us in the tower meeting room,” Samael said quietly. “We have something to discuss.”
Sourial continued to glare at me as he plucked another tendril of plant off his sleeve. “Wonderful. I can’t wait to spend time in such charming company, Lilith.”
“Lila,” I said acidly. I supposed I couldn’t blame Sourial for it, but it felt like a betrayal that he’d been the one escorting the mortal who was supposed to take my place.
Samael turned to head for the stairwell again, and I walked next to him up the stairs. When my arm brushed against his, I felt an overwhelming rush of power sweep up my arm.
I shuddered. Was he actually becoming stronger?
On the top floor, Samael pushed through a carved oak door into a room of rich mahogany walls. Although it wasn’t a wide space, the ceiling soared high above us. It was a sort of study with narrow mullioned windows two stories high. On one side of the room was a stone fireplace. Warm firelight wavered over the room.
Two maroon upholstered chairs stood before the hearth, and I crossed over to one, plopping down.
Lilith’s icy, bitter soul made me feel cold, a constant chill that went right down to my bones. I wanted to stay here curled up by the fire, drinking warm drinks under a blanket.
Except this wasn’t my home. Demons weren’t welcome here.
My muscles felt tense, and I gazed into the flames. “As soon as you leave Sourial in charge, we should leave. I don’t want to stay here.”
When I glanced over my shoulder at Samael, I found him staring at me with a fierce expression that I couldn’t quite read. There was something hungry in his look that made my pulse race faster.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Something unnerving you? Do I scare you now?”
He closed the distance between us, his eyes darkening. He lifted my chin, staring into my eyes, and golden swirls moved over his cheekbones. “You’ve always scared me, and almost nothing else does. But it may not be for the reasons you think.”
I stood up, stepping closer to him. “Why then?”
“Because around you it’s hard for me to think straight.”
I drummed my nails on the back of the chair. “Ah. Is that why you’re going to marry Harlow? Easier to think clearly?”
Shadows darkened his eyes. For the briefest of moments, I thought I saw dark bronze horns curving back from the front of his head. Then the illusion was gone. A shiver danced up my spine. What was that?
The sound of the door creaking turned my head, and Sourial came into the room. Carefully, he closed the door behind him, then his eyes darted between Samael and me. “What happened? Please tell me you figured out an exorcism and that’s why she’s not in chains.”
I crossed my arms and shook my head. “No exorcism, but I’m in control. Lila.”
His eyebrows rose. “Right. So that was you, Lila, who nearly suffocated me in vines?”
I grimaced. “That was a bit of Lilith. She’s still here. I can hear her thoughts sometimes, see her memories. But maybe she’s not your enemy. Because here’s the thing: you two and Lilith have common goals. Lilith doesn’t want to be controlled by the Free Men. She made a bargain with them, but she regrets it. She wants to take them down just as badly as you do. And she’s the one who can find the book.”
Sourial prowled closer, his movements smooth and predatory. As usual, he was shirtless, with a velvety robe hanging open to reveal his tattoos of the moons. He pointed at me. “If Lilith and I are on the same side, then why did she nearly choke me to death?”
“You’re immortal!” I shrugged. “I mean, unless you shagged a mortal recently.”
He threw his arms open. “Of course I shagged a mortal recently. I’ve always shagged a mortal recently. Mortal men, mortal women, mortal convents and monasteries. The specific faces may change, but shagging mortals is the one thing I do with any consistency.”
A twinge of remorse tightened my chest. “I will try to control the demon side better. I promise.”
Samael stared into the flames, and firelight flickered over his high cheekbones, dancing in his eyes. “We have more pressing matters right now. We have to get to the Free Men as soon as possible, and Lila can feel the book calling to her. She can use her connection to the Mysterium Liber to locate it. And with the book, we find the Free Men.” He slid a sharp look to Sourial. “Considering we have no other leads, this is our best bet.”
Sourial still narrowed his green eyes at me. “That’s assuming she’s telling the truth. Which I do not assume, given that Lilith is involved.”
Samael scrubbed a hand over his mouth. “She can’t lead me too far astray, Sourial. I will keep her under my control.”
Sourial’s rings glinted in the light. “Lilith has cut you down before, Samael. You’ll have to take an entire army with you, to protect against her.”
A chill whipped through the room, so icy that the flames in the fireplace began to gutter. The air grew darker around Samael. “I don’t need an army to fight Lilith. I may need the army against the Free Men. But before we try to surround them, we need to know exactly what we’re facing and where they are located.”
“Why can’t you send spies?” asked Sourial.
“Because until we find the traitor, I don’t trust anyone,” said Samael. “You, Emma … That’s about it.”
Sourial pinned me with his gaze. “Okay. So where is the book, then? What’s the plan?”
“Give me a second.” With my arms leaning against the back of one of the chairs, I stared into the fire.
As soon as I tuned the two angels out, I felt the tug of the book. It was like a thread wrapped around my ribs, one that filled me with hunger. I needed to focus on exactly where that thread was pulling me if we wanted to find the Free Men.
As the fire warmed my skin, I closed my eyes. Now, the image was even clearer than before. The
book lay on a wooden table, bathed in golden candlelight, and the words on its pages seemed to shine with light.
Above the book, I saw a window that gave a view of a narrow alley, with a brick wall across from it. And through a second window, a misty town square spread out. One of my golden elks stalked through the square, antlers glowing with blue light. Behind the elk, a golden palace pierced the cloudy sky.
No—not a palace.
Seasalt Abbey, one of the ancient homes of the good sisters and brothers. Long ago, thieves and murderers could take refuge around the abbey—a safe haven from the law, and now it was a honeycomb of slums.
I knew exactly where the book was.
Then a thin figure slipped before the window, her pale blonde hair hanging down her back. My muscles went tense, stomach clenching.
Alice pressed her hands against the glass, staring out at the abbey.
Lila
Of course Alice knew of this neighborhood—though not as well as I did. No one knew all of a city’s hiding spots like a thief.
“Alice is near Seasalt Abbey right now. She’s with the book.” My eyes snapped open, and only then did I realize I’d spoken those words out loud. “They’re in Devil’s Acre.”
Samael raised an eyebrow. “Devil’s Acre?”
I nodded. “There’s a labyrinth of slums surrounding the abbey. No courtyards, no gardens. Just rickety homes, leaning into each other. It’s west of Dovren. I know the alleyways around there, and there are plenty of places to move unseen.”
When Mum had been banned from some of the pubs around where we lived, I would find her there in the Devil's Acre, sleeping in doorways. Then—as a thief—I’d learned to sneak stolen goods from the ships into underground tunnels, and on to Ernald’s men in the Devil’s Acre.
Adrenalin coursed through me. I felt desperate to get to Alice as soon as possible. “I know exactly where the book is now. Alice is with it. And I know how to scope out the whole neighborhood.”
Possessed (Hades Castle Trilogy Book 3) Page 4
